Drop (33 page)

I look to Isaac, his floppy hair and face full of sincerity, and realize it’s been the same face all along, not always the arc of a smile upon it, but always the truth. I hug him, moist-eyed and lost for words.

Last year might have been a thousand years or one short second. Like taking that first pill, it was over so quickly. Misjudgements strew the months like litter on a festival field. But for the pain, I wonder if it ever happened at all. I entered some inky-lit club, got lost in the dark and emerged at sunrise. I thought I lost my soul that night in Brighton, but it seems that’s when I got it back. Like getting laid for the first time, it’s never how you picture it. They say the darkest hour is just before the dawn. I feel myself returning to reality, a new reality. Soft edges are sharpening; light is intensifying. Daybreak.

I’m not naive. I’m going to need help and it’ll take time. Do I even have the strength and determination? I don’t know. But I’ve made a start and I’m making changes.

Smoke less.

Draw more.

Pass retakes.

Take one step at a time.

I look back over the year and see my own metamorphosis. Back then I was desperate to fit in. I trusted the drugs and Finn to give me confidence to remodel myself.
Not your most intelligent decision
.

What if I was already a butterfly?

Maybe I just couldn’t see it.

But Isaac saw it from the beginning.

I twist the purple butterfly necklace between my fingers and smile.

I cartwheel across the park, turning my world upside down: a complete revolution.

Somehow, after all, I’ve landed on my feet.

There’s no word big enough to express the thanks I owe my editor, Mara Bergman, for glimpsing potential in my writing and helping me at every stage to unlock it; and my agent, Jo Unwin, for all her hard work and unwavering encouragement.

I’m so grateful to Maria Soler Cantón for the stunning cover design, and to all the other lovely folks at Walker Books.

Juliet Foster, you always believed in me: thank you for convincing me to show my first draft to Mara.
Kuliet for ever!
, even when we’re old.

To my mum, Lynda, who caught me when I was falling; my dad, Roger, ever the calm at the eye of the storm; and my enormous family, for hugs, dinners, cheerleading and general awesomeness – thank you.

And finally, to my wonderful Sean… I promise to thank you in the next book too if you throw out that jumper I hate. The material’s scratchy and it’s a horrible colour.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, used fictitiously. All statements, activities, stunts, descriptions, information and material of any other kind contained herein are included for entertainment purposes only and should not be relied on for accuracy or replicated, as they may result in injury.

First published in Great Britain 2015 by Walker Books Ltd
87 Vauxhall Walk, London SE11 5HJ

Text © 2015 Katie Everson
Cover illustration © 2015 Levente Szabó

The right of Katie Everson to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, taping and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data:
a catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978-1-4063-6403-3 (ePub)

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