Dropped Third Strike (Portland Pioneers #1) (27 page)

“I really thought I would be able to forget all of that when I went to college. Out of sight, out of mind, you know? And it worked a little. But when we got together that summer, everything came back to me. I realized I was absolutely in love with you and that scared the shit out of me. You were everything I wanted and everything I feared all in the same package.”

He paused and Kate swallowed hard, trying to figure out how to respond. She had not expected any of this out of him. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, Reid stopped her.

“My roommate in college committed suicide over a girl. I’m the one who found him. Everyone else thinks his death was an accident, but I know it wasn’t. He ended his own life,” he said. “Kate, he was one of the best pitchers I’d ever seen. There was no chance he wasn’t going pro. And he threw it all away over a girl. I decided I never wanted to let a girl have that much control over me. I knew the only way to make sure of that was not to fall in love. So I had to let you go.”

“Reid, I don’t know what to say,” Kate said.

“You don’t have to say anything. It was my turn to talk,” Reid said. “I’m really sorry I hurt you back then. You deserved better, and I regret that I couldn’t give it to you.”

He waited for a few moments, but Kate still didn’t know what to say to him.

“So … that’s everything. And I’ll leave you alone,” he said. “I need to get downstairs anyway.”

Kate nodded and watched him turn to go. She felt like she should say something, but she still couldn’t find the words. After the door closed behind him, she leaned against her desk and let out a long breath. She sat like that for a long time after he was gone, still letting all of his words sink in.

In the elevator, Reid leaned against the back wall and closed his eyes. He let out a shaky breath and was suddenly grateful for the slow elevator. He needed time to reflect on what he’d just done and get himself together again.

He had never poured his heart out to someone like that before. It had been a little scary when he started, but by the time he was done, he felt good. He’d heard that saying about getting something off your chest, but he always thought it was just a saying. Now he knew why the saying had been born. He felt decidedly lighter after saying all of that to Kate.

Kate had looked a little shell-shocked at his spiel. He didn’t blame her. He had unloaded a lot on her. If he was still reeling over it, there was no doubt she was as well. When all of his words were out, he’d waited for a response from her, but she’d been silent. He decided maybe she needed a little time. Or maybe she would never have a response. But now she knew how he felt and hopefully understood why he’d acted the way he did in their younger years. There were no guarantees, but he’d done his part and said everything he needed to say. What she did with the information was up to her.

He exhaled as that realization washed over him. He felt a little more composed by the time the elevator doors opened on the main concourse, but his relief was short-lived. Standing there, apparently waiting for the elevator, were Kate’s parents. And they weren’t alone.

“Mom? Dad?” Reid managed to choke out. “What are you doing here?”

His parents glanced at each other but didn’t answer him. Kate’s mom spoke up.

“I got in touch with them after we talked in Arizona and invited them to come with us this weekend,” Sharon said.

“We kept reading and hearing about how well you’re doing, and we wanted to see it for ourselves,” Sam said.

It was the first time he’d heard his father’s voice in months and the first time he’d heard it in person in more than a year. And it’d been much longer since he’d heard any semblance of pride, but there seemed to be a little in there.

“It’s not like I’m playing,” Reid said. “There’s really nothing to see.”

“We wanted to see you, Reid,” Kathy said. “We’ve missed you.”

He looked at his mother for a few moments as though trying to gauge her sincerity.

“We’re on our way up to see Kate,” Ron said. “We’ll give you three some time to catch up.”

He took his wife’s hand and they stepped into the elevator. Reid watched the doors close on Kate’s parents before he turned to face his own.

“Do you want a quick tour of the ballpark?” he asked them.

Sam and Kathy nodded, and Reid pushed the button for the elevator. As they waited, none of the Benjamins spoke. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence though. Quite the opposite. As Reid showed his parents the clubhouse, press room, batting cages, and dugout, he almost felt as though the last few years had disappeared. All of his mistakes that had brought his parents shame seemed to have been washed away.

They ran into a few of the players who had shown up early for the day’s festivities. Each one stopped to chat with Reid and shook hands with his parents when they were introduced. Carson Slater lingered the longest with Reid, talking about his swing and timing. Reid agreed to meet him in the cages early the next morning.

“The players really like you,” Kathy said.

They were seated in the dugout now, just looking out at the field. Some members of the grounds crew were out getting the field prepped for the game even though first pitch was still four hours away.

“Yeah, I think so,” Reid said. “They’re a good group of guys. They listen well and take my advice. Carson’s deal really isn’t his swing or timing. He’s just in a little bit of a slump, so I think it’s gotten to his head. I’m going to try and get him to relax.”

“They trust you,” Sam said. “That’s huge.”

“I guess,” Reid said shrugging. “It’s going to be hard to leave them.”

“You’re not going to stay here next season?” Kathy asked.

Reid shook his head. “Coaching has been fun, but I’m not done playing yet. My agent said there are a few teams interested in me. I won’t talk to any of them until the season’s over, but … I definitely plan to play again next season.”

“I see,” Kathy said. “Have you talked to your boss about that?”

Reid thought about Kate. They really hadn’t talked about anything work-related lately. They’d both been too preoccupied with their personal past.

“No, but I’m sure she won’t be surprised,” Reid said. “Kate knows I want to play.”

And he wasn’t completely sure Kate wouldn’t be glad to see him go, but he wasn’t going to tell his parents that.

“Well, you should probably discuss it with her directly,” Sam said. “After the favor she did you by hiring you, you owe her that.”

“I know,” Reid said. “And I will discuss it with her. Right now though, we’re both just focused on our playoff run. No one’s even talking about next season yet.”

Maybe it wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t a lie.

“We always liked Kate,” Kathy said. “I thought maybe you two would date at some point. Is she still single?”

“Yes, but … that’s not going to happen, Mom,” Reid said. “I’m not interested in a relationship and I don’t think she is either.”

“You’ve always said you’re not interested in a relationship, but I don’t get that at all,” Kathy said. “Don’t you want someone to share your life with?”

Reid shrugged. “I don’t really have time, Mom. I need to focus on baseball.”

“And what will you have when baseball’s over?” Sam asked. “You know it won’t last forever.”

“I’ll still have friends and maybe I’ll even come see you two more often,” Reid said, hoping it would lighten the mood and change the subject.

It didn’t work.

“It’s not the same. And if you ask me, it’s not enough,” Sam said. “Sooner or later, your friends will all be married too. And we’d love to see you more, but we aren’t going to be around forever either. And then you’ll be all alone.”

“I’ve been fine alone,” Reid said.

“Well, I want you to be better than fine,” Kathy said. “Have you ever even been in love, Reid?”

He stared out at the field unblinking. It was odd she would ask that on the day he first uttered that word to anyone.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said after a few moments. “I’ve chosen my career, my dreams.”

“It doesn’t have to be one or the other,” Sam said. “You can have your dreams and love.”

“Oh? How did that work out for you two?” Reid asked. “Because of me, you didn’t get to go off to college.”

“That doesn’t mean we gave up our dreams,” Kathy said.

“Right,” Reid said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

“We didn’t,” Kathy said. “It’s true we had to delay our career dreams a little, but it was worth it to have you. Family was always part of our dream. You just came earlier than we expected is all. But we still got everything we wanted.”

Reid turned and studied both of his parents.

“She’s right, Reid,” Sam said. “We didn’t give up anything to have you. At least that’s not how we look at it.”

“Well, I’m sure you haven’t felt that way the last few years,” Reid said.

“You’ve made mistakes, but we still love you,” Kathy said. “We were only disappointed because we expected better out of you.”

“I did too,” Reid said. “I don’t know what happened to my bat.”

“We’re not talking about baseball here. You’ll always be an All-Star in our eyes,” Sam said. “Your off-field antics were what bothered us.”

“Oh,” Reid said. “Yeah, I didn’t deal with the pressure and stress well.”

“Clearly,” Kathy said. “Are you sure you want to go back to that? The pressure of playing?”

“Definitely,” Reid said. “A year away from it has been really hard. I’m ready to go back.”

“Have you found a new way to cope with stress?” his father asked. “Other than alcohol and women?”

Reid opened his mouth to say he had, but then he remembered the night he went to Kate’s. That night had been about jealousy, but that was just another unpleasant emotion, right? Maybe he really hadn’t learned a new stress management strategy.

“I’m seeing a therapist now,” Reid answered finally.

“That’s a good start, but maybe you should be sure you’re ready to handle the stress before you get back on the field,” his dad advised.

“I’ll be fine,” Reid said firmly.

He was glad when his parents dropped the subject. They didn’t have much choice. Their visiting time was over. Reid had obligations with Fan Appreciation Day, and he was due at an autograph table. He walked his parents back to the main concourse so they could go meet Ron and Sharon. A quick phone call told them the elder Marks couple was still with their daughter on the executive level. Reid gave his mom a hug and shook hands with his dad before they got on the elevator.

There was already a line at Reid’s table, which surprised and humbled him. All season, some of the players had told him he should be out there signing autographs with them before the game, but he thought they were just teasing. Surely no one wanted his signature. This line said otherwise. He waved to the gathered crowd and sat down. For the next few hours, he wrote his name more times than he could count and his cheeks hurt from smiling for so many photos.

When a security guard told him his time was up, Reid looked at those still in line. There were still about 20 people, and they looked sincerely disappointed that they hadn’t made it to the table. Reid didn’t like disappointing people – despite what his track record might imply – so he quickly went down the line and signed for the last few people.

He heard a familiar voice call his name as he handed the last baseball to a fan. His parents and the Markses were walking toward him.

“I’d love to chat more, but I have to get to work,” Reid said to them.

“We know. Kate just told us the same thing,” Sam said. “But we’re all going to dinner after the game.”

“Who is?” Reid asked.

“All of us plus Kate,” Ron said, gesturing to himself and his wife, Sam and Kathy, and then Reid.

“Is she on board with that?” Reid asked.

“Of course,” Sharon said. “Why wouldn’t she be?”

All four of the elders looked at Reid curiously. He could see the questions whirling in their minds. He didn’t want to give them enough time to voice them.

“No reason,” Reid said shaking his head. “I’ll see you guys in a few hours.”

Reid hurried off before they could press him for answers. And he prayed they would forget about his comment before the end of the game.

“Did something happen between you and Reid?”

Kate looked up from her phone in surprise. She’d been checking the scoreboard and standings while they waited for Reid, but her mother’s question caught her off-guard. She hadn’t expected that. Their visit in her office earlier had gone smoothly and there hadn’t been much talk about Reid then. Why were they bringing him up now? What had happened between the time they left the executive offices and the end of the game? The other three adults were also looking at her, awaiting her response.

“Why?” Kate asked, hoping she sounded casual. “Did he say something?”

“Not really,” Sharon said. “He just seemed surprised that you agreed to have dinner with all of us.”

“What exactly did he say?” Kate asked.

Sharon recapped the conversation they’d had with Reid after his autograph session.