Duty to Love (3 page)

“Happy together.”
James laughed with no humor. “I would be in agony. I am already in
agony. If I thought I could kill you I would call you out. If I thought I could
hurt you the first you would have seen of me would have been my fist. I have
restrained myself with Amelia, holding out for her as my future wife. I
couldn't bear to live in the same house and not be able to touch her.”

“You
restrained yourself so much that she doesn't even know how you feel about her.
Before Francine died plans were being made for Amelia to have a season next
year. Whitmore clearly had no intention of letting you marry Amelia before he
could see if she could land anyone he thought a better match. Did you tell
Amelia how you felt, that you had sought permission for her hand from her
father, because she mentioned nothing to me about it?”

“No,
I didn't trust myself to reveal my feelings and not act on my desire for her even
without a clear wedding date in sight. I didn't want to cause Amelia greater
distress when I left for the army. There were numerous reasons I kept things
platonic with Amelia. Clearly this was a tactical error, for I failed to
realize that clearly it was a competition.”

James
suddenly turned towards Arthur. “You've been seducing Amelia all this time,
haven't you? No wonder your betrothal to Francine dragged for years.”

“I
hardly call waiting two years ‘til Francine was nineteen dragging. I needed
time to concentrate on the estate, and then Francine fell ill. No one thought
she wouldn't recover, or I'm sure her father would have had us marry
immediately. I admit I have courted Amelia this past year, but that is only
since Francine's death, knowing that we must marry.”

 
It was at moments such as these that Arthur
grew tired of justifying himself. To just marry Amelia, James be damned, was
tempting.

“I
bet you wished I hadn't made it back in time.”

Maybe I do now
, thought Arthur, before
saying, “Actually I wish you'd got back a damn sight sooner, so we could have
dealt with this more than a day before my wedding.”

“Another
inconvenience to be dealt with, that's how you see me, isn't it?”

 
Did James really feel as if he was an
inconvenience, or was he saying things he didn't mean in the heat of the
moment? Arthur would hate to think there was such a monumental misunderstanding
between them.

“You
couldn't be more wrong. I wanted time for us to talk things over, time for you
to adjust to the situation rather than have it thrust on you, but I didn't want
to cause you to desert from the army before you were back in England where you
would a least be in a position to apply for leave and to resign your commission
if you wished to do so. I think it would have been good for the three of us,
Amelia, you, and me, to see if we could all still get on well together, now
that we are all adults and not children larking around.”

“Get
on well together! Where do you get this notion of happy families, Arthur? Oh,
because it’s never been a competition to you. You've always had anything you
wanted, that's right.”

Arthur's
temper snapped. “I suppose I wanted mother to die? I suppose I wanted father to
die before I was thirty, leaving me nothing but debts to manage?”
 
 
Breathing
ragged, his words turned weary. “I don't want to argue about it. I just want us
to find a solution.”

“Don't
you see? There is no solution,” said James, obvious resignation and anger
causing his voice to crack.

Arthur
braved revealing what had been in his mind for months now. “I think there might
be a solution, a way that we can all have what we want. I must and want to
marry Amelia, and you don't want to lose Amelia. What if you weren't going to
lose her, if you could also be with her, if it were as if you were also married
to her? Not behind my back, but could you share Amelia? What if she welcomed us
both together?”

“Are
you insane? Amelia is not some whore!” James's words and tone were outraged.

“I
would never suggest she is; it is you who suggest it.” Arthur had never thought
that sharing Amelia would degrade her, or place a value on her body that meant
she could be bought. Despite the fact that money was changing hands as part of
their marriage, he was determined it not
play
a part
in how either he or Amelia were to view each other.

“It's
an insane prospect. How can you contemplate sharing your wife, even with me?”

 
“I would be doing it for the sake of all our
happiness. Is it insane that we both love the same woman? I think not. She is
eminently worthy. Is it insane to believe we could all live together in accord?
I think not.
the
three of us spent many happy times
together as young adults. Is it insane, then, to want the three of us to share
a physical intimacy? Why? I would like to think the two of us together could
bring her greater pleasure than either of us could alone, and I for one would
not experience the jealousy that being cuckolded would cause.”

“Even
if we were both happy with such an arrangement, Amelia would be understandably
shocked by such a proposal.”

“It
would have to be Amelia's choice. We would both have to accept beforehand to
abide by whatever decision she made. Of course she would be shocked at first,
but we would be offering her the love and attention of two men.” Arthur was
fully aware that they would both be risking an uncertain future on their
ability, combined ability, to seduce away Amelia's reservations.

“How
would you even begin to broach the subject with Amelia? You haven't exactly
shown any tactfulness in discussing the idea with me.”

The
fact that James was raising practicalities gave Arthur some hope.

James
was also right that they needed to have a plan of campaign, one that took into
account that there was very little time in which to subtly make suggestions to
Amelia or accustom her to the thought of being with both Arthur and James.

“We would have to test whether she might
be receptive. Are you at least willing to see if we can engage her interest?
” That was as far as Arthur
had been able to see in terms of how they might proceed. They needed to try to gauge
Amelia's feelings towards both brothers when they were all together again, and
they needed to know if she could respond to both of them physically. Could
arousal supersede any hesitancy at engaging in the forbidden?
  

“How
do you think we could test her willingness?” The lack of focus in James's eyes
made Arthur think he probably had some idea how to go out about it.

“I
didn't know you needed instruction with women.” Arthur smiled. “I'm sure once
you get back in the saddle it'll all come back to you.”

Looking
at the expression on James's face Arthur gave a burst of laughter. Arthur had
never been one for teasing in the past; in fact his sense of humor was a newly
developed side of his character that spending time in close proximity with
Amelia had brought out. He felt comfortable being less reserved around her. He liked
to tease her and watch her color rise in response.

“Practice,
I definitely need practice. I think a kiss with Amelia is the perfect place to
start.”

Relief
filled Arthur. James had taken his teasing well. The tension from their earlier
confrontation seemed to have dissipated. Admittedly James hadn't committed to
trying to seduce Amelia together, but it appeared as if they were going to see
how it all played out.

“We
will have to move quickly and pay a visit to Amelia this afternoon. We'll let
her know you're back and invite her to go for a walk. If we can create an
opportunity for us both to touch her, maybe even kiss her all the better,”
Arthur said, a hint of eagerness making his words come quickly.

“Very
well, we'll go see Amelia this afternoon. I hope she will be pleased to see
me.” James finally ceased his perpetual movement and sank into one of the
winged arm chairs Arthur kept on either side of the fireplace.

Arthur
joined him clarifying his intentions. “I want us together in this from the
start. I wish to consummate the marriage, and fully intend to do so tomorrow
night, but, Amelia willing, I hope you will join us, so there are no closed
doors between us. Anything else will be up to Amelia.”
 

“Let
us see how this afternoon goes first.”

Arthur
got the impression there was something James wasn't saying, but didn't want to
push him on it now they appeared to be in agreement. He just prayed this
afternoon went well.

Chapter Two

Amelia
smoothed her hands down the front of her pastel blue dress, the flats of her
palms gently tracing the folds of muslin that gathered under her bust before
falling past her hip to the floor. It was one of her better dresses—reserved
for visiting neighbors—and without the telltale scuffs and stains that
accompanied any of her other dresses worn out of the house during the day.

When
seeing Arthur, she always had the desire to look her best, not because she
thought he minded how she looked, and certainly not because of her parents'
wish that she look the part of a countess in preparation for fulfilling the
role, but because the thought of
Arthuralways
so well
turned out, always thinking of others—made her aspire to improve those aspects
of herself she wasn't happy with. Arthur was always sure to notice the details
of appearance, and Amelia couldn't help wanting to be perfect for him, to be a
blessing, not a hindrance.

She
still found it difficult to believe that tomorrow they were to be married.
Being a countess certainly didn't fit with the image she had of herself. The
idea that Arthur—an earl, so sure of himself, so much older than she—would want
her for a wife seemed ludicrous. He was everything a gentleman should be in
looks and temperament.
 

She
supposed he was only a little taller than average, but the width of his
shoulders and the strength of his presence made him stand out when in a room
with others. And despite his somewhat austere persona when in social circles,
he never had a harsh word for anyone. Whether family, servants, or tenants, he
spoke to all with respect. During his frequent visits while Francine was ill,
he would sit and converse with Amelia attentively, showing interest not just
with whatever she had recently been engaged in, but more often her thoughts and
opinions. Amelia didn't feel she could possibly deserve such a man.

The
thought of attaining something she'd always viewed as out of reach was almost
unbearably exciting. Through all the time they had spent in each other’s
company, Amelia had been aware that Arthur must see her as a younger sister,
rather than a woman, his equal.

As a
consequence her mind hadn't stopped racing since Arthur has proposed. She kept
going over and over the moment in her mind, the details changing a little each
time as she struggled to remember past the, “Is this really happening?” thought
that had consumed her at the time.

Arthur
had come to call after business in
Hinchley
, as he'd
fallen into the habit of doing over the past eighteen months. The weather had
been fine, and they'd decided to go for a ride. Mary, Amelia's maid and
companion, had ostensibly gone with them, but she was not a confident rider,
despite being frequently put upon a horse by Amelia. Arthur and Amelia had
quickly raced ahead, enjoying each other’s company as a consequence of their
shared pleasure in riding. When they'd eventually slowed to a trot Arthur had
impulsively leaned over to grasp her hands, which were loosely holding her
reins. Both their horses had come to a standstill as Amelia had instinctively
tightened her grip, pulling on her reins, and Arthur had followed suit with his
remaining free hand.

She'd
looked at him in surprise, their gazes locking, and then without preamble he'd
asked, “Amelia, will you do me the honor of agreeing to become the Countess of
Hentonbury
?”

At
least that’s what she thought he’d said. It had taken Amelia a few stunned
seconds to work out that he was proposing marriage. The first words that sprang
to her lips were those her father had drilled into her and Francine on the off
chance that someone would dare to court them directly. Given that her father
had never had a lot to say to her they must have stuck in her mind.

“Have
you approached my father?”

Amelia
felt herself flush at the memory: To be proposed to by an earl—by Arthur—and
not to immediately convey her gratitude had been sheer stupidity on her part.
Her mind might not have known the right answer straight away, but every fiber
of her body had responded yes. Luckily he had taken no offense. Instead he'd said,
“Your father has indeed given his consent. He was keen to see the joining of
our families still go ahead.”

The
reminder that Arthur had been to marry
Francine, that
it was only a year since her sister's death and only following that tragedy
that Arthur had begun to court her had shocked Amelia from her wonder-induced
stupor. Her first thought—that Arthur had fallen in love with her over the
preceding year, as she had with him—she recognized as her true stupidity.