Authors: Rachael Keogh
Tags: #Biography & Autobiography, #Philosophers, #Dying to Survive
2006. Alison O’Reilly, the Sky News reporter (
left
), and myself. Alison believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself.
2007. Here I am, drug-free and heavily pregnant, giving a talk in a school.
My beautiful son, Senán. He was worth it all.
2008. My two great loves: Patrick, and our wonderful son, Senán.
Gill & Macmillan
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with associated companies throughout the world
© Rachael Keogh 2009, 2010
First published by Gill & Macmillan 2009
This ebook edition published by Gill & Macmillan 2011
9780717151615 (epub)
9780717152209 (mobi)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission of the publishers.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
About the Author
Rachael Keogh is a thirty-three-year-old Dubliner, the mother of a little boy, and a student.
To the two angels in my life:
Senán and my grandmother, Theresa Keogh
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
In July 2006, at the end of my drug addiction, I got down on my knees and I begged God to bring the right people into my life to help me get my life back on track. My prayers were answered and since then I have had the privilege of meeting some of the most amazing people: without you all I probably wouldn’t be here today to tell my story.
So thank you, God, my backbone, because without you to turn to for strength and guidance, I would no doubt be either lost or dead.
To my beautiful son, Senán, who brings so much magic and happiness into my life. You came into my life for a reason and you give me every incentive to be the best that I can possibly be. I love you so much.
To my family: Lynda, Philip, Theresa and John, Laurence, Jacqueline, Jacopo, Marion and Jonathon Keogh. To Declan Connaughton, Jennifer Donnelly, Naladun, Nhamthi, Thu-yen Connaughton and Reuben Keogh. I put you all through hell, but no matter what happened you always believed in me. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for never giving up hope and for being there for me as best you could. Love you all. Thanks also to my extended family, the Keoghs, the Kellys and the Foxes.
Patrick, I knew you before I ever met you. Thank you for our precious little boy, Senán. And thank you for teaching me how to love. Even through your addiction you were always there for me as best you could. Love you always.
To Michael Mc Loughlin and Roxy. You are forever in my heart and I will never forget you.
To my editor, Alison Walsh. Thank you very much for being so understanding and for all your support.
To Annette, Jimmy and the girls. Thank you so much for all your support. Special thanks to Alan Furlong. You guided me through the toughest part of my recovery and I am eternally grateful to you for that. Special thanks also go to all the staff in Keltoi, especially Pádraig, because you never let me forget my strengths and you supported me in every decision I made, good or not so good.
To my friends, the people whom I truly respect: Neil Arnold (love you always), Val Arnold, Simon Rynn (you have a heart of gold), Alison and Calbach O’Reilly and family. Katriona O’Sullivan (my guru), Declan Crawford, Rachel Dingle, Thomas Farrell, Gary Cunniam, Tommy K, Brendan Magee, Ann-Marie O’Toole, Eoghan Keogh, Valerie Murphy, Paula Valentine, Karen Dowling, Chris Tormey, Wayne King, Angie, Nadine, Carla, Anita, Helen G, Suzanne, Sharon, Ana, Sandra, Debbie, Diarmaid Cox, Jimmy Judge, Brendan Marsh, Yvonne Kinsella, Ciaran Dunleavy, Alice Kennedy and family. I don’t tell you often enough but you are the people who inspire me. Thanks for being there.
Special thanks to Fr Adrian and Sister Elvira. You both changed my life.
Special thanks to Narcotics Anonymous and all its members. You know who you are. To
NA
, I owe my life.
Acknowledgments to the Smith family: Ann, John, Emma, John-Paul, Kathryn, Claire, Jennifer and Glen. Also to Michelle Kelleher and family; and to Edel Hessanan and family.
Acknowledgments to Fr Peter McVerry. Thanks for always believing in us addicts. We need more people like you. To all the staff in the Rutland Centre. To Tony Geoghegan at the Merchants Quay Project, Michael Durkin at Riz and all the staff at Cuan Dara and Georges Hill Step-down Programme. To Dr Brian Sweeney, to Paul Meleady and all the people at Coolmine, Fr Dennis Rafferty (Enfield) and Seán Mc Dermott, my old counsellor, who believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. Thank you so much. To Olive, Robert and Geraldine, outreach workers at Domville House. Thanks for never giving up on me. To all those at Victory Outreach. Much respect to all you people. You don’t get enough credit for the work you do.
To my solicitor, Fiona Brennan, thank you for always putting up a good fight for me, and for doing such a good job. Also to Michael Brennan of the
Irish Independent
and Petrina Vousden of the
Daily Mail
.
Thank you so much to all who supported me through my early recovery. To everyone who crossed my path and who wished me well or said a kind word. You kept me going. And thanks to those who doubted me or who said I would never get clean, because, when all else failed, you were my driving force.
In memory of Margaret Keogh and also of my old friends Paulie Murphy, Martin Coin, Thomas McBride, Roy Murphy, Martin Carrick, Yvonne Crawford, Sandra O’Connor, Sinéad Kelly, Jeff Moore, Bubbles and Desi Coutin, Paddy Aery, Keith Medcalf and their families. I thought of you all when I was writing this book.
And last but not least, to the addicts who still suffer and their families. This book is especially for you. I hope my story will give you some hope. Because, without hope, what do we have?
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