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Authors: Matt Beaumont

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In returning we are not asking for Nobel prizes, just a little respect. I can be accepting that you are not choosing our idea over your own. I am thinking you are wrong, but many years of the Eurovision Singing Contest are teaching me that the thrills of competition are not always resulting in triumph.

What is sticking in my craw fish is that you are asking a lady female subordinate to be giving me the information about your decision. This is rude and not respecting of me as a fellow Chief Executive Officer. I am believing that when you are including me on your e-mailings that you are valuing me for my friendly opinions and inputting. But about this I am wrong. I will not be so outcoming in the future.

Pertti van Helden

[email protected] 1/10/00, 3:44pm
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
I’m gutting

Dear Pertti,

I am sorry that you are upset. Disrespect was not the intention. As we explained we have nothing but admiration for your endeavours on Coke, However, I have to say that the work you sent us was very wide of the mark strategically, and demonstrated a naïve misunderstanding of the British marketing landscape. As such it would risk being laughed off the TV screen. Perhaps I am being
blunt, but I wish to demonstrate that our decision was reached objectively, without recourse to petty prejudice.

I hope that we can continue to work together in the future. Next time, however, your contribution might stand more chance of being useful if it were asked for.

Best wishes,

David Crutton

Zoë Clarke – 1/10/00, 3:47pm
to:
Harriet Greenbaum
Pinki Fallon
cc:
 
re:
Coke review

David has asked me to remind you to be on time for the 4:00 review. He is on a tight schedule and can’t be delayed. Ta.

[email protected] 1/10/00, 3:53pm (8:53am local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
I’m gutting

Dear David,

This is fantastic. For years we have been trying to build a true spirit of togetherness in the San Francisco office. Working with the proven principles of Primal Scream Therapy, our ultimate goal is
10,000 PEOPLE, 1 MIND.
This can only be achieved once we break out of the confines of conventional corporate role-play and openly share our feelings with all of our co-workers. Your candid letter to Pertti, where you embrace your anger, is incredible. More importantly, your decision to share your private self with the entire network is a model of the methodology that we are reaching for on the West Coast.

Who is your teacher? I know that if we pool our knowledge we
can lead Miller Shanks into the next dimension of spiritually energized business practice.

Your friend in enlightenment,

Gabriella del Hoya

Head of Human Development, Miller Shanks San Francisco

[email protected] 1/10/00, 3:55pm (11:55pm local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
I’m gutting

Hi David. Terrific letter. I remember Pertti well from the CEO’s conference in Delhi and I, too, found him hard to shake off! I remember you as well from that shindig with great delight. Your presentation of the Bonio case history gave us all food for thought!

While I’m burning the midnight oil here I have a small favour to ask. I’ve been working the Asia/Pacific circuit for thirteen years now and feel I have achieved all I can. It is time for a switch back to Europe and I hear on the grapevine that there is a search for a new CEO in Bucharest. I’ve contacted Jim Weissmuller and though he promised to get back to me I guess he has been too busy with matters American. I know you have his ear, and I’d be forever indebted if you could make mention of me. I look forward to seeing you soon. Roll on Waikiki!

Mike Appleton

CEO, Miller Shanks Hong Kong

[email protected] 1/10/00, 4:06pm (6:06pm local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
I’m gutting

There is a proverb on the veldt. “The lion roars, the hyena laughs but the crocodile hunts in silence.” I think this says everything.

Hansi van der Kok

Account Executive, Miller Shanks Johannesburg

[email protected] 1/10/00, 4:10pm (8:10am local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
I’m gutting

I am not one to beat my own trumpet, but as Head of Client Services I was most instrumental in winning the Carmella soda account, which is worth US$0.2 million. I think my experience in this competitive market can help you with your pitch. Naturally, I am so very busy with running the office here, but I will make time to assist should you so desire. If you have any questions, any questions at all, please do not hesitate to e-mail.

Daniel Vargas

Head of Client Services, Miller Shanks Chile

[email protected] 1/10/00, 4:12pm (6:12pm local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
I’m gutting

Is this a chain letter? How many friends and acquaintances do I forward it to and will I be accursed if I do not do as requested?

Mohammed Fayed

Art Director, Miller Shanks Cairo

P.S. I am not relating to the Fayed who own Harrods and make mischief with your Queen Majesty.

[email protected] 1/10/00, 4:15pm (11:15am local)
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
I’m gutting

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