e (72 page)

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Authors: Matt Beaumont

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The collective review will be a little later at 2:00 owing to MSTV, which I’m sure none of you will want to miss . . . 

Pinki Fallon – 1/13/00, 10:45am
to:
Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
 
re:
today’s review

Susi, I know you keep reminding me that you only work for Simon, but could you please help us out today? Lorraine is up to her neck, so I’d really appreciate it if you could do the necessary for the 2:00 review – pads, pens, drinks, etc. Ta . . . 

Letitia Hegg / [email protected] 1/13/00, 10:47am
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
catch-up

You’ll be fascinated to hear that I’ve just had your lad Brett on the blower, simply desperate for a move. I didn’t know you’d fired his chum Vince. You must keep me abreast, darling. I actually have a brief just in that would be right up their
strasse
– Campbell and Roalfe at Y&R are looking for a funky young team. But Brett had the beleaguered tone of the leper about him and it warned me off. Anyway, while I wouldn’t normally pick it up with my mother’s gardening gloves, I couldn’t help but read the
Sun
this morning. I imagine two names beginning with V and B are being added to every creative director’s blacklist this morning.

But I have some gossip for you that’s so hot it should be served
flambé
by the
maître d
’ at the Savoy Grill. Guess who I saw sharing a prime window table at I’Odeon yesterday lunchtime. Your very own Ms. Harriet Greenbaum and none other than your old partner. You know I speak of Barry Clement. Of course, it could be true love but I think not. He has been seen about town with a d-d-gorgeous producer from Park Village – Jennifer Lopez with a clipboard. I don’t like to be catty, but I doubt Harriet’s child-bearing hips and stretch marks would light his fire. The fact is he has been restless at the Good Ship Abbott Mead for some time. He’s run out of shelf space for his little gold lions and stubby black pencils. I believe he’s open to offers of a creatively challenging bent. Isn’t that how David C sold Miller
Shanks to you – a creative challenge? What is going on there? If you know, do tell.

From what the papers and Brett tell me, it sounds like your Mauritius jaunt is not a dream holiday, you poor dear. Still, if I know you, you will be rallying the troops with stirring
cris de guerre
and saving the day with your usual
brio!
And you’ll be able to tell me the full, riveting story when we do lunch. Soon!

By the way, are e’s reaching you in Mauritius or will you be reading this when you return to your desk?

Keep the Union Jack aflutter!

Susi Judge-Davis – 1/13/00, 10:50am
to:
Pinki Fallon
cc:
 
re:
today’s review

Sorry about the delay in replying, but I’m awfully busy preparing for Si’s return. Love to help but couldn’t possibly.

Pinki Fallon – 1/13/00, 10:55am
to:
Susi Judge-Davis
cc:
 
re:
today’s review

I can see how busy you are. You have four pots of nail varnish laid out on your desk. It must be so hard to decide which colour Si would like the most. I’d go for the plum, but then again . . . Pardon the sarcasm, Susi, but I’m getting pissed off with this. I’ll do it myself . . . 

Lorraine Pallister – 1/13/00, 10:56am
to:
Zoë Clarke
cc:
 
re:
lunch

I think Judge-Dredd is about to have another fit. She’s at her desk looking red-eyed, and she’s been in a typing frenzy – she only ever does that when she’s sending poisonous e’s. I don’t fancy Multiple Sclerosis Television or whatever the fuck it is at lunchtime. How
about Blakey’s? I’m sick of paying £3 for a pissy Bud at Bar Zero. I can probably do half an hour at 1:00pm. Let me know.

[email protected] 1/13/00, 10:59am
to:
[email protected]
cc:
 
re:
that does it

Darling, I hate do this to you when you’re under such ginormous pressure, but I cannot stand it any longer. As the Personal Assistant to the Executive Creative Director I expect to be treated with just a little respect. But this week I have had Lorraine Pallister threatening me with physical violence and Pinki Fallon bossing me around like she owns the place. You know that I’d do just about anything for you, but I’ve had all I can take. I’ve tried to phone you to discuss this but I can’t get through. Now I feel I have no other option.

Please accept this as my formal resignation from Miller Shanks. I will of course work out the full month’s notice – I would not wish to be accused of being less than professional.

I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you for giving me the chance to work for you. It has been a privilege to be part of the inner circle of one of British advertising’s few creative legends. Perhaps if more people at Miller Shanks shared your vision and high personal standards, I would not be writing this e-mail.

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