e (70 page)

Authors: Matt Beaumont

BOOK: e

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As for Mr. Topowlski, his short quote is far less incriminating. Unauthorised though it was, he did not expose Miller Shanks. I suggest you let him off with a formal caution.

I feel that this story will have an extremely short shelf-life. Unless Ms. Trump decides to market her version (and if she wishes to maintain her dignity, she will not), I doubt that tomorrow’s press will even follow it up.

When the fuss dies down in a day or two I would imagine that you will even be able to salvage your relationship with LOVE. With Mr. Douglas and (presumably) Mr. Sinton spending more time in their gardens, there is no reason why it cannot be business as usual.

As I said last night, things never look so bad the morning after.

Best wishes as ever,

Max Gregory

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 8:59am (12:59pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	LOVE update

The local met office was wrong. The Old Man of the Sea was right. This morning we are being pummelled by the raw force of a typhoon. We won’t be shooting anything today. Gloriously simple though Brett and Vincent’s script is, it does require weather that doesn’t rip roofs from houses.

Danny Boy blames the whole predicament on me – well, it must be someone’s fault. “Why on earth didn’t you buy weather insurance?” he whimpered over his yoghurt and muesli. I reminded him that when I told him what the premiums would be a couple of months ago, he scoffed and said, “Weather insurance? Don’t be so silly – we’re shooting in
Mauritius.”
Of course, nobody surpasses Daniel when it comes to rewriting history, so I’m sure I’ve got it totally wrong.

Thanks for sending the story through this morning, though we had already seen much of it courtesy of Liam. Poor Vincent and Brett are wearing the doomed looks of the puppies who have seen the sack with the bricks in it and have realised the canal is but two minutes’ brisk walkies away. I know they have been wicked little boys, but do you suppose there is any way they can be saved? They knew not what they did.

We were hoping to wave tatty-bye to Frank this morning, but the weather has shut down the airport. We’re stuck with him for another twenty-four hours at least. I think he’s relieved. He’s smart enough to know that both a letter of dismissal and divorce papers sit in his intray.

Don’t worry about us though. The hotel staff are rallying round to keep the guests’ spirits up. They’ve had us all in the lobby this morning playing bingo. I won a bottle of the local liqueur (pineapple), a souvenir ash tray and a box of le Touessrok Mint Thins (made in Bristol). This afternoon we have a traditional island dance class, where my booty will be well and truly shaken.

	Lorraine Pallister – 1/13/00, 9:09am
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	fuck, fuck, fuck!!

Don’t panic. If you haven’t seen the
Sun
yet, read it now. If he’s going to fire anyone, my money’s on Vince and Brett.

	Harriet Greenbaum – 1/13/00, 9:15am
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	Freedom

I have spoken to Pinki again and she can see no obvious or sensible way to write a youth-oriented campaign around Ivana Trump without making her look foolish. Can we discuss? Perhaps you can see a solution that has eluded us.

	David Crutton – 1/13/00, 9:23am
to:	Rachel Stevenson
cc:
re:	sackings

You are quite right. It would court disaster to fire Douglas while he is on the other side of the world and we have no control over him. It will wait until Monday, 9:00. Prepare the letter and while you’re about it, a written warning for Topowlski – he could consider himself to have the luck of the Irish, if he wasn’t a fucking Pole.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 9:28am
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	LOVE

Thanks for your note. A letter of severance to Vince Douglas is being drafted now. I have spoken to Monty Sadler at LOVE and not surprisingly he is doing the same for Frank Sinton. Like us, he wants to put the mess behind him.

Thanks, as always, for your help.

David

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 9:35am (1:35pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	apology

Dear Mr. Crutton,

We want to apologise for the comments that appeared in the
Sun
today. We admit that we may have said these things, but at the time we didn’t know we were talking to a journalist. Also, he only wrote the bad stuff we said and he omitted all the bits about how we loved working for such an exciting agency and couldn’t wish for more caring employers.

We know that’s not much of an excuse and the way it came out in the paper wasn’t very good. We understand now that we were wrong, and that it wasn’t big or clever. All we can do is say how sorry we are and promise that it will never happen again.

We hope everything is OK in London and good luck with the Coke pitch on Monday!

Yours truly,

Brett Topowlski

Vince Douglas