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The Crettin’s sworn me to secrecy, so don’t tell this to a soul!!!! Vince is gonna get fired on Monday morning and Brett’s gonna get off with a warning!!!!!!!!!! They just wrote him an apology and I’ve never heard him laugh so loud!!!!!!!

	Lorraine Pallister – 1/13/00, 9:50am
to:	Liam O’Keefe
cc:
re:	bad news

Come and see me. Crutton’s decided what to do with V&B.

	Ken Perry – 1/13/00, 9:56am
to:	All Departments
cc:
re:	MSTV

I am proud to announce that today the brand new Miller Shanks inhouse TV channel will make its first broadcast. All televisions in the corridors, reception and other public areas have been re-tuned and at 12:00 the programme will commence:

I hope you will join me in enjoying this televisual treat. Snacks will be provided.

Ken Perry

Office Administrator

	David Crutton – 1/13/00, 10:03am
to:	Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
re:	Freedom

I’m already booked in for dinner with the senior Freedom people tonight. You should join us and I’ll introduce you as our resident strategic guru. Dazzle them with some demographics – the power of the grey pound, longer life-expectancy, the usual bollocks. Tell them that after a considered re-think we believe it makes no sense to chase impoverished teenagers when there are old dears out there who’d much rather fritter their pensions on jeans and disco gear than stairlifts. Bring some laminated charts – they’re not the brightest sparks, and some cheerily coloured diagrams will have them dribbling into their consommé.

When we present them with Ivana Trump, the aspirational new Freedom Babe, a week or so from now they’ll lap it up.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 10:11am
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	bad news

You sitting down to read this? No nice way to put it, but Vin’s fired the minute he sets foot in the office. No doubt Crutton will also want the keys to his company Ferrari (sorry, couldn’t resist). You get off light – a written warning. I had a word with Pinki and she doubts there’s anything she can do but she’ll say something to Crutton anyway. It’s a bit delicate for her because we’re not supposed to know about it. We only found out because Zoë blabbed to Lol. I’m really sorry, but I guess we saw it coming. Anything I can do, shout.

	Nigel Godley – 1/13/00, 10:16am
to:	All Departments
cc:
re:	MSTV

Don’t miss my small screen debut on MSTV (not counting the time I was on
Crackerjack
). I’m wearing a spinning bow tie! It’ll be mad!

Nige

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 10:27am (2:27pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	bad news

Vin took it on the chin like a true geezer and went to the bar. Tell Pinki thanks, but not to worry about Crutton. Vin says it’s a waste of time and he wanted to leave anyway. He’s just glad that it’s DC who’s
doing the business and not SH(it). I’ll have to leave as well you know. Me and Vin go all the way back to college and I can’t desert him now. I’ve already put in the call to Letitia.

No break in the weather. It might have blown itself out by tomorrow, but the beach will look like Hiroshima, Ground Zero.

Le Touessrok Redcoats are coming round now to see who’s up for native dancing in the lobby. There’s a big bunch of jokes to be gleaned from that but I really can’t be arsed.

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 10:32am (6:32pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Bucharest

Sorry to be a pest, but you haven’t had a word with JFW yet, have you?

	[email protected] 1/13/00, 10:36am
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Bucharest

Mike, Jim flies in at the weekend. I will speak to him then. Goodbye.

	Pinki Fallon – 1/13/00, 10:42am
to:	Creative Department
cc:
re:	today’s review