Early Dawn (44 page)

He wore his jacket to shield him against the morning chill. “I lay awake all night, feeling heartsick.” He rubbed a broad hand over his jaw, then scratched beside his nose. “I
do
love you with all my heart, Eden. If I’m going to lose you over this, I won’t go. Nothing is more important to me than you,
nothing
. I’m sorry I made you feel like you come second with me. You don’t.”

She could barely see him now through the blur of her tears. Ace had nailed it right on the head. Matthew loved her enough to change his mind and let go of something that was extremely important to him. Only, what would that do to him in the end? When he looked in a mirror, was he going to hate himself for the rest of his life? Eden didn’t want that.

She never felt her feet move, but suddenly she was in his arms, clinging to him with all her might. “Oh, Matthew, I’m sorry. Ace is right; I’m a spoiled brat.”

“What?”

“Ace,” she said with a tearful laugh. “He laced me up one side and down the other, telling me I’m spoiled, headstrong, and hot-tempered. Oh, and I mustn’t leave out that I’m as unpredictable as the weather.”

“You aren’t spoiled.” Matthew’s voice throbbed with anger. “What was he thinking to say things like that to you? A little headstrong, maybe, and you do have a temper. But I love those traits in you.”

Eden tightened her arms around his neck and squeezed her eyes closed, searching for the words she knew she had to say, even though uttering them would break her heart. As Ace had so crudely put it, she couldn’t castrate Matthew with her love. She had to let him be the man he’d been raised to be. If she didn’t, he would never be quite the same.

“Matthew,” she pushed out. “I was wrong to say those things yesterday. Whether I understand it or not, going after the Sebastians is something you need to do. You won’t lose me if you go, I promise. I’ll wait for you—forever if I must.”

He buried his face in her hair and hauled in a shaky breath. “Ace is right. You are as unpredictable as the weather.”

Eden laughed wetly. “Well, at least you’ll never grow bored.”

He found the sensitive place just below her ear and kissed her there. “Do you mean it? About me going, I mean? You’ll wait for me, no matter how long it takes?”

“How can I not, Matthew? You’re the other half of my heart.”

He swung her around in a circle and then kissed her, long and deep. When he raised his head, his eyes looked suspiciously moist. “You’re the other half of mine, too. I’m sorry I feel this burning need to go. If I could turn loose of it, I would.”

Eden leaned back to trace each line of his face with her gaze. “If you could turn loose of it, Matthew, you wouldn’t be the man I fell in love with.”

 

They were married that afternoon by a justice of the peace in a ramshackle little town called Big Water. The JP, who performed ceremonies in his sitting room, also raised goats, chickens, and pigs, and when Eden stepped inside the dingy foyer, she wrinkled her nose at the stench. Evidently the livestock and poultry wandered indoors on occasion.

Matthew’s grip on her hand tightened. Under his breath, he said, “I swear to you, Eden, when I get back, we’ll have a proper wedding with a preacher and all the trimmings.”

She nodded and smiled shakily, her horrified gaze fixed on the sitting room rug, which appeared to be peppered with chicken droppings. She and Matthew looked at each other, and it was all Eden could do not to giggle. This was
awful
. “That, Matthew Coulter, is a promise I expect you to keep.”

He grinned and led her to stand before the old man. Eden’s brothers stood behind them in a half circle, hats in hands, to witness the nuptials. The JP scratched his head, and flakes of dandruff parted company with his white hair to drift down onto the book he held open in one hand.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today . . .”

That was all Eden heard until the elderly officiate intoned, “Do you, Matthew James Coulter, swear before God to love, honor, and cherish this woman until death do you part?”

Matthew squeezed Eden’s hand. “I do.”

“Do you, Eden Dorelle Paxton, swear before God to love, honor, and obey this man until death do you part?”

Eden wasn’t certain she liked the “obey” part of her vows, but she set aside her reservations and said, “I do.”

She sneaked a glance at Matthew and saw him bite back a grin. They both became solemn when the moment came for Matthew to slip the ring on her finger. He’d purchased it at the general store only thirty minutes earlier and told Eden he was afraid the gold would peel off. But in that moment, she didn’t care about the quality of the ring, only about what it represented: never-ending love.

As Matthew bent his dark head and struggled to get the band over her knuckle, she knew she truly would love him forever, and in her heart, she knew he would love her with the same steadfastness.

When they were finally pronounced man and wife, Matthew leaned down to settle his lips over hers. As the kiss deepened, Joseph cleared his throat. At the sound, Matthew straightened away and squeezed her hand again before they signed the necessary papers and paid the justice of the peace for his services.

Once outside, Eden gulped the fresh air, smiling at Matthew. “I was afraid a chicken might parade through the sitting room!”

“I was afraid you were about to call the whole thing off when he said, ‘Love, honor, and
obey
,’” Matthew told her with a laugh. “The look on your face was priceless.”

Ace stepped forward to shake Matthew’s hand. “Welcome to the family,” he said. “Make her happy, and you’ll never have a quarrel with me.” Then he turned to Eden. After searching her gaze for a long moment, he winked at her. “My little sister, all grown up. I can’t believe you’re a married woman.”

Eden grinned. “You didn’t seem to think I was all grown up yesterday evening.”

Ace chuckled. “And I’ve never been happier to be proved wrong.”

Eden’s other brothers followed Ace’s lead, welcoming Matthew into the family and then hugging their sister.

“The chicken shit was a nice touch,” Joseph said as he looped an arm around Eden’s shoulders. “I’m just glad no goats attended the ceremony.”

David laughed and lightly punched Matthew’s shoulder. “Most men get married knowing the wedding day may be the high point of their lives. You’re a lucky fellow. Things can only get better from here on out.”

“It wasn’t
that
bad,” Eden protested. She patted the papers in her jacket pocket. “At least we got the deed done, and I’ve got proof that he’s made an honest woman of me.”

David settled his hat back on his blond head and bent to kiss her cheek.

After stocking up on supplies, including whiskey, Matthew rode with Eden and her brothers to the outside of town, where they’d set up a temporary camp. He knew Eden expected him to hit the trail the moment they arrived, but Matthew had other plans. He hadn’t been able to give Eden the ring or wedding ceremony she deserved, but he could sure as hell give her a wedding night she would never forget.

To that end, he made camp some distance from her brothers, then went back to collect his wife. She laughed when he swept her up into his arms. “What are you doing?”

“Carrying you across the threshold.”

“We don’t have a threshold.”

Matthew strode with her in his arms toward the other camp. “That’s a moot point. I’m still determined to do this right.” When he reached the fire pit he’d just built, he settled his bride on the pallet near the flames and began making them each a cup of Irish coffee. As he stirred in the sugar, he settled a smoldering gaze on her and said, “I’m going to make love to you until you’re weak, and then I’m going to make love to you again. When I ride out in the morning, you’ll have memories of tonight to hold close the entire time I’m away.”

That sounded good to Eden,
very
good.

“Is that Irish coffee you’re making?”

Both Eden and Matthew jumped with a start. They exchanged bewildered glances as Joseph joined them by the fire. “I wouldn’t mind a cup of that. You got plenty?”

Matthew looked long and hard into his new brother-in-law’s eyes. Then he said, “Sure. I got another jug in town. But we’ve only got two cups.”

Joseph grinned and held up a tin mug. “I came prepared.”

Before Eden knew quite how it happened, all four of her brothers had joined them, and Ace brought another jug of whiskey. Clearly they meant to stay a while. After two rounds of drinks, Matthew looked at each of her brothers and said, “Gentlemen, this
is
our wedding night.”

“We know.” Joseph passed Matthew his empty cup. “That’s why we’re here, to celebrate with you.”

David bent his head and tugged down his hat to hide his grin.

Matthew mixed Joseph more Irish coffee. “Celebrating is fine. But this is Eden’s and my last night together for a good long while, and as much as we enjoy your company, we had . . . well, you know, other things in mind for the evening.”

Joseph raised his cup in a mock toast. “To getting the cart before the horse,” he said with a smile. “You’re not the only man in this family who likes to get revenge.”

Matthew looked nonplussed for a second, and then he threw back his head and guffawed. Everyone else laughed with him, and the wedding party began. Soon Matthew had his harmonica out, and Eden was dancing around the fire with each of her brothers. When Matthew insisted on a waltz with his bride, no one else knew how to play the instrument, so he and Eden hummed the tune of “Beautiful Dreamer.” As they whirled in the darkness, Matthew moved toward the trees. When they were far enough away not to be seen, he bent his head to steal a kiss.

“Ach!” Ace yelled. “None of that when you’ve still got guests.”

Matthew groaned and rested his forehead against hers. “I’m going to kill them.”

Eden shared his frustration, but at the same time, she could see the humor. “They’ll leave soon.”

“Promise?”

“If they don’t,
I’ll
kill them.”

 

It was late by the time Eden’s brothers left and Matthew could finally be alone with his bride. Fulfilling his promise, he made slow, passionate love to her until she lay weak and trembling on the pallet, her glorious hair fanned out around her head, the curls gleaming like polished copper in the firelight. In that moment, Matthew knew he’d never seen any woman more beautiful. Her body put him in mind of strawberries and cream, and every place he kissed tasted just that sweet.

Bracing himself on one elbow, he gazed solemnly down at her. “I love you,” he told her, his voice throbbing with the intensity of his feelings for her. “God help me, Eden, I don’t know how I’ll be able to leave you in the morning.”

She gazed drowsily up at him. “And I don’t know how I’ll let you go.” She reached over to intertwine her fingers with his. “But I have to love you enough to do it.”

Matthew bent to trail his lips over her cheek. “I’ll come back to you, Eden. I swear it.”

“You’d better, Matthew Coulter, or I’ll hunt you down.”

He smiled at the memory of when she’d voiced the same threat right before he left her at the cave and then made love to her again. Afterward they slipped into an exhausted sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.

 

The following morning, they arose bright and early, breakfasted together in weighted silence, and then it was time for Matthew to go. Eden walked beside him to his horse, her whole body trembling. Saying good-bye to him was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. She could only pray that God would give her the strength to get through it.

Matthew slipped his Winchester into the rifle boot and fiddled unnecessarily with the saddle cinch, his jaw muscle pulsing in his lean cheek. When he finally turned to look at her, he had tears in his eyes.

His voice gravelly, he said, “Don’t say good-bye. I don’t think I can handle it. Just tell me you’ll see me soon.”

Eden couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat. She swallowed hard. “Can I say one other thing first?”

He nodded.

“I
love
you, Matthew. With my whole heart and soul, I love you.”

He hooked an arm around her shoulders and drew her against him, his body so taut it was like being hugged by a board. “I love you, too, more than I can ever say with words. I’m a damned fool for leaving you, Eden, but I’m afraid if I don’t go, it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life.”

She clung to him for a moment, and then she found the strength to step back and smile up at him. “I know. Promise me you’ll be careful?”

“More careful than I’ve ever been. I’ve got you waiting for me now.”

“Godspeed, Matthew.” Eden pressed trembling fingertips to her lips and then blew him a kiss. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Soon,” he whispered.

Then he mounted up. Eden gazed after him, not allowing herself to cry until he was out of sight.