Easy Silence (11 page)

“Why? What made his dad so evil?”

“Caroline! Don’t you look beautiful today?” Hadley said to Grammy who had just entered the kitchen, offering her a welcoming distraction.

“Thank you, and I feel beautiful today, too.” She smiled. “There’s my pretty girl.” She patted my arm gently. “You always had such a beautiful smile, Brooke.”

Brooke? My father’s high school sweetheart? “Grammy, its Sam.”

“I know who you are!” She snapped.

“Has she taken all her medicine for the morning?” Hadley asked Doreen.

“Yup, she’s good until two. We were just headed out for our morning walk.”

“Oh, I can take her?” I chimed in.

“Are you sure?” Doreen was hesitant.

“Yes, I’m positive.”

“Okay let me go get her sweater, and when you get to the first jetty turn back around; she doesn’t like going any further.”

“No problem,” I replied as Doreen and Grammy walked off for her sweater.

“So, Sam, are you still planning on helping out at the church bake sale on Sunday?” Hadley asked,

“Yeah, I said I would.”

“Oh, and Sam?”

“Yeah?” I turned around as I was halfway out the kitchen door.

“We could really use some strong young men to help set up. Do you happen to know any off the top of your head?”

“Hmm…well, I do know one, and he’s also very handsome, so I’m hoping the ladies at your church can keep their hands to themselves because he’s all mine.” I giggled.

“You are so fresh.” She smiled. “I’ll make sure I warn them that he’s taken.”

“Good.” I smiled back.

“She’s ready to go,” Doreen said. I grabbed Grammy’s hand, and we walked outside, strolling slowly down the beach.

“Look at this pretty shell, Grammy.” I said, bending over to pick it up. “I think this one would look good on a necklace, don’t you?” She nodded, and I wondered if she had even known what I just said. “Grammy what’s it like to be in love?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s the best feeling ever. My husband and I met, were married three months later, and had our son nine months after that.” I never got tired of listening to it because she always got so much joy out of telling it. “Are you in love, dear?”

“Oh, no. But I think I could be someday…with him. He’s so beautiful and maybe even a little odd, but there’s just something about him.” I smiled just thinking about him, knowing that I was basically talking to myself, but it felt good to say it out loud.

“Oh, Brooke, my Max isn’t odd.”

I sighed deeply. Why did I always feel the need to correct her? But it hurt my feelings to know that she remembered my dad’s high school sweetheart more than she did her own granddaughter. “Grammy, I’m Sam. Max’s daughter. Your granddaughter. I’m not Brooke.” She stared at me blankly and began to go off on a tangent about her rose bushes. As much as I hated to admit it, I was happy once we reached the jetty and were able to turn around. I listened to her go on, nodding when appropriate, feeling mentally exhausted by the time our walk had ended.

“Sammy, when did you get here?” she asked, just as we reached the house.

“A few weeks ago, Grammy.”

“I’m so happy you came.”

“Me too.” I took her hand and helped her up the steps, smelling the strong scent of urine coming from her.

“Caroline, how was your walk?” Doreen asked, greeting us at the door.

“Umm, Doreen. I think she may have had an accident.”

She nodded. “Come on, Caroline, let’s get you cleaned up,” she said taking Grammy inside.

I sat on the front porch and stared into space. How could my grandmother have been that far gone in such a short amount of time? She was bad when I had last seen her at Christmas but not this bad. She was living in her own little world. Maybe Jaxson was right. Would she really want to be living like this? She was always so strong. She came from money but still worked hard her entire life, taking over my grandfather’s real estate business when he passed away and serving on the town council. She headed up several local charities and was big into her church. Now, here she was, not even knowing who her own family was and losing control of her faculties. I hated my father for not being here to spend time with her and not even pretending to care. I tried to push any further thoughts aside and focus on my plans with Jaxson tonight, wondering what we would be doing. I loved how just the mere thought of him made me happy. I just wished he would finally be happy permanently instead of the fleeting bliss that would overtake him from time to time. I felt sick to my stomach every time I thought about the marks on his back. All I wanted was for him to heal emotionally from whatever was still haunting him. I took a walk into my grandmother’s garden. Every year she would meticulously maintain it. Her rose bushes were her babies. Now all of the upkeep was left to the landscapers she hired. I walked down the cobblestone walkway, surrounded by every kind of flower imaginable, stopping to smell a few along the way before taking a seat on the wooden swing that hung from the oak tree. I rested my head against the rope, deep in thought. I needed to tell my dad soon. The more I thought about school in the fall, the more I didn’t want to go, especially not for international affairs. I looked closely at the trunk of the tree that the swing was hanging upon, trying to make out the set of initials carved into it. I got off the swing and moved closer
. MC and BL.
It didn’t take me long to figure out that those initials were my father’s and Brooke’s. I traced my fingers over the letters, wondering what their story was and why they broke up. I was deep in thought, startling when my cell phone rang.

“Hey mom,” I answered.

“Sam, sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m good.” I wanted so badly to tell her about Jaxson, but I knew she would just dismiss it as a summer crush, or she would begin to barrage me with questions about him. Since I knew he wouldn’t live up to her expectations anyway, I decided to pass on saying anything to her.

“So, your dad and I are in Paris, and I cannot wait to show you the dress I just picked up for you. It’s going to look beautiful on you. The color, the style, everything about it screamed your name.”

“Wow. I can’t wait to see it.” I tried to sound upbeat, taking a seat on the swing.

“It will be perfect for Kurt Kraney’s wedding.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Congressman Kraney. His son is getting married in the fall, and you were invited, too. Of course you will be away at school, but you can make arrangements to come home that weekend. Your father is adamant that you be there.”

I shook my head, trying to stop myself from saying something I would regret. I loved how the two of them planned out every facet of my life just for my father’s political gain. “Well, I don’t know for sure if I’ll be able to just come home for a wedding for someone I don’t even know.”

“Sam, your father—”

“Yeah, I know, Mom, Dad really wants me to attend, but until I know what my schedule is like, put me down as a maybe.”

“Sam—”

“Mom, can we please just change the subject? I haven’t talked to you in weeks, and I don’t want to argue.”

“Fine.” She conceded, but I knew that wasn’t the end of this conversation. “So, Simon Avery said that Geoffrey really wants to get together with you before he goes off to Princeton.”

“Yeah, well I don’t want to see him.”

“Sam! Be polite. You don’t have to date him for heaven’s sake, but can you at least be cordial?”

“Well, I would be if I were home, but I am not, and I have no intentions of going home anytime soon.”

“Well, you’ll be home in a few weeks. You’re not planning on spending the entire summer there, are you?”

“Yeah. I am. Grammy needs me, and judging by the way her condition is deteriorating, I want to spend as much time as I can with her.”

“Your father is paying good money for a nurse to handle that.”

“To handle what, Mom?” I raised my voice in anger. “To change her when she messes herself? To feed her? To make sure she takes her medicine? Did it ever occur to you or Dad that maybe she needs to be around family? People she has known and loved her entire life?”

“Sam, what has gotten into you? Why are you so argumentative?”

Whenever I didn’t conform to their rules, I was argumentative. “Look Mom, I really have to go.”

“Oh, okay. Well, we will be swinging by when we get back, before heading out to California.”

“Yeah, I know. Dad told me already.”

“Sam, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know, you just don’t sound yourself.”

“Nope. I’m good.” Better than good, and later this afternoon, when I saw Jaxson’s face, I would be perfect.

I could hear Jaxson and Pete bickering as I walked up the driveway. “I’m telling you it’s the clutch,” Jaxson scoffed at Pete as he was bent down on the ground attempting to fix what appeared to be a dirt bike.

“Boy, I’ve been working on these longer than you’ve been alive,” Pete retorted.

Jaxson shook his head and finally noticed me standing there. “Hey, what’s up?” he muttered, greeting me much like we had just met, instead of like two people who had shared the most intimate thing imaginable less than twenty-four hours ago.

“Hey,” I whispered, letting out a sigh.

“Sam, will you please get this know-it-all out of here so I can fix my dirt bike properly?” Pete stood up and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

I gave him a quick smile and anxiously looked over at Jaxson. “Okay, fine. Suit yourself. Guess we won’t be seeing you later.”

“Oh, you’ll be seeing me.” Pete raised his eyebrow while Jaxson walked off to the back yard without saying a word. Sometimes his lack of manners drove me crazy.

“I can’t believe you let him talk you into it,” Pete said.

“Into what?”

“Getting on the back of that quad with him?”

“The back of what?”

“His quad.” I creased my eyebrow in confusion, still not understanding. “You know, like an ATV,” Pete explained further.

“Oh, I never agreed—” I couldn’t even finish my sentence over the loud roar of the motor that was coming closer. I covered my ears, just as Jaxson came around to the front on what I was guessing was his quad.

He stood up and handed me a helmet. “You better put that on with him driving,” Pete teased.

“Umm…Jaxson. I don’t know about this.”

“Come on, Samantha, don’t be a chicken,” he pleaded.

“I’m not. It’s just—”

He totally ignored me and secured the helmet on my head, took a seat back down, and revved the engine. “Come on, it will be fine.”

I knew if I wanted him to learn to trust me, then I had to learn to trust him. Against my better judgement, I sat down behind him and wrapped my arms tightly around his body.

“Jaxson, don’t you be driving that thing like you normally do,” Pete warned, making me question my sanity for doing this. Jaxson revved the engine once again, and we were off, driving down Pete’s road and turning off into a wooded trail, where he began to pick up speed. My stomach dropped, and I pressed my face into his shoulder, not wanting to see what was ahead. I questioned how he was even breathing with the hold that I had upon him, squeezing him tighter with each bump we hit. I was going to die. He saved me from drowning, only to kill me by crashing into a tree out here. His lack of fear when it came to death was so apparent at the moment. He was just being downright mean for doing this to me. I was too scared to move or even talk to tell him to slow down. If I was still alive once we stopped, I was
walking
out of these woods. I didn’t care how far I had to go to get back. My entire body was trembling when he finally came to a stop at a clearing. I ripped the helmet off my head and hurled it at him, storming off as best as my shaking legs would allow.

“What the hell’s your problem?” he shouted.

“You! You’re an asshole for doing that!” I turned around and wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

He got up and chased after me. “Well, why didn’t you just tell me to slow down if you didn’t like it?”

“Be—be- because I couldn’t even—” I felt like such an idiot for crying, wishing my body would stop trembling.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Home!” I cried.

“You’re going the wrong way.” His voice was taunting. He didn’t even care that I was upset. How could I have been so stupid to think he would change just because we shared something special last night? To him, it was just sex, probably something that he did with a million other girls before me, who meant nothing to him. “Samantha!” I could hear his footsteps getting closer in the brush. He grabbed my arm, and I pushed him away.

“Get off me! I was so stupid to think you actually cared.”

“What?” He was still for a moment looking down into my tear filled eyes as I struggled to break free from his grip.

“Just let me go!” I shouted. He grabbed my arm tighter and roughly pulled me into him. “Ouch, Jaxson, you’re hurting me!”