Authors: Kay Thomas
She felt so secure and safe at this moment. Like nothing could harm her. The irony was that the man holding her could break her heart into tiny little pieces without half trying. She snuck a peek at him again, this time attempting a smile.
But it was no use. She couldn’t do it. She only succeeded in crying harder. His pity was worse than any indifference he might have shown.
When Bryan had left all those years ago, she’d cried till she hadn’t been able to see straight. Then she’d dried her tears and decided never again to let a guy make her feel that way. It only made sense that Bryan would be the man to make her weep like a child all over again.
“You’re killing me here. What is it, baby? I promise I’ll take care of you. I’ll marry you if you’re pregnant.”
Whoa.
That statement brought her up short. Her tears stopped as if she’d turned off a water faucet.
Hadn’t they covered this already? And how had they gotten from her sleeping with him without telling him it was her first time to his saying he would marry her?
That’s not what she was crying about. It was everything else: Trey and Elizabeth, Bryan’s friends, Otis and Tilly, and her life feeling so out of control. A marriage proposal was definitely not what she was after and positively the absolute last thing on her mind. God, what were they doing even talking about this when the rest of the world was going crazy?
“That’s not what this is about.” She heard the world-weariness in her voice. “It’s just. I—”
She looked up at him to try and explain, but the words died on her lips. The expression on his face was so intense. So . . . hot. He looked like he would inhale her if she’d let him.
She was taken aback to the point that she forgot what she was about to say. She forgot about being tired and upset, too, as she stared with her head tilted back in what must have appeared a blatant invitation.
Bryan smiled ruefully and shook his head. “Dammit, Sassy. I forget everything when I’m with you except how much I wa—” He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because instead of pulling away and protecting herself, she leaned up and into him, covering his mouth with her own and licking at the seam between his lips.
He groaned as she wrapped herself around him, kissing him with all of her own pent-up frustration and longing. Everything else was too much—too confusing, too overwhelming, too messy, too god-awful—to deal with right now.
This was the one man she wanted. She kissed him because it hurt too much to think of doing anything else. It would eviscerate them both to unwind all the misunderstandings and miscues of the past two hours, much less the past six months. The one thing she knew for certain was that Bryan could make that pain and confusion go away, at least for a little while.
At first she wasn’t sure he was going to respond, then he opened his lips to hers and consumed her. None of the hesitation from earlier today was there. He undressed her as though unwrapping an anticipated present, all the while kissing her with a reckless intensity that had her melting inside. She was naked and beneath him in moments, then she was helping him undress.
He stopped only to pull a condom from his pants pocket before he was balanced over her. The shyness she’d felt before was gone. She just wanted him and the blessed oblivion he could bring her. She didn’t want to think right now. She couldn’t think, or she might start crying again.
Not for what she’d lost earlier tonight, but for the comfort she and Bryan had both missed out on these past months by alienating each other so much. If she allowed herself to focus on that for too long, she’d weep for it all—Bryan’s dead comrades, his AEGIS friends, for Trey, and for the tragedies she’d discovered in Africa when researching the story on Elizabeth.
Instead, she leaned into Bryan’s kisses and focused on feeling, on all the new sensations she was experiencing. His chest pressed hard against hers, and his body pushed her into the mattress. But he was careful not to crush her as he moved his lips down her neck and focused on her breasts. Cool air from the overhead fan raised goose flesh on her arms, but she was far from cold by the time he’d kissed his way across her body past her navel, then lower.
Why had he stopped fighting their attraction now?
She couldn’t figure it out.
He stopped kissing her at the edge of her hip bone. She glanced down to see him resting his chin lightly on her belly and looking her in the eye.
“You’re thinking too much again. Stop that. Just . . . feel.” He pressed his lips to her tummy, moving lower before pausing to gaze up at her again. “Come on. I dare ya.”
She laughed. He was right. She was doing exactly what she’d just promised herself she wouldn’t do—she was thinking too much. And she’d never been able to resist one of Bryan’s dares.
She huffed a laugh and smiled. “Game on.”
December 29
Early morning
B
RYAN WOKE IN
the dim light of early morning with Sassy wrapped around him like a vine. For just a moment he let himself revel in the memory of the hours before—of how it had felt to hold her and to make love to her. Before he could have second thoughts about getting out of bed, he untangled himself, being careful not to wake her. He knew that if he didn’t leave now, he never would. If he stayed with her here, he’d only endanger her further in the manhunt that was sure to expand today.
Their only salvation lay in finding who was responsible for the attacks on AEGIS and the disaster that had occurred in Kingstree. While he was almost positive that Leland’s old mentor, Ford Johnson, was behind it all, Bryan was a long way from proving that or being able to do anything to stop the man. Plus, there was the cartel issue, in addition to Trey’s upcoming trial.
Sassy was convinced her news story would make a difference, but Bryan wasn’t so sure. People with as much power as Ford Johnson generally had a way of making the media work for them, not against them. How much truth would Sassy really be allowed to share in her news exposé? He suspected her editor would revise the story to some sanitized version.
Putting a stop to all this once and for all was going to be complicated, but it was possible. Bryan just needed to be able to work by himself. If he had to split his attention between worrying about Sassy and worrying about putting all the pieces together, he wouldn’t be able to do a competent job of either.
It was time to go.
He showered and dressed quietly before creeping downstairs. The fire was only embers now, but Bear was up and at the computer, with Lily snoozing at his feet. The scent of freshly brewing coffee filled the downstairs. Bryan poured himself a cup, snagged what appeared to be a homemade muffin, and moved to sit beside the desk.
Bear’s fingers were tapping at the keyboard like a concert pianist’s.
“You got a text.” Bear handed over the burner phone Bryan had bought at Penn Station a little over two days ago. It felt more like a month. “It’s okay to access the message, but don’t answer it from the phone. We’ll communicate from my computer instead.”
The text was from Marissa:
Layover in Paris. Call me on the scrambled number.
“We can do that,” said Bear with no apology. Apparently he’d already read the message.
And what had Bryan expected? This had become about Bear’s safety, too. That was why Bryan had left his phone downstairs last night. “Okay, let’s do it.”
Bear took the cell back and typed for another moment. “Alright. I’ve got things set up where you can call her from the computer over a data line, not voice. It’ll be untraceable, or at least much harder to trace.” Bear stood and swapped places with Bryan.
“Thanks.” Bryan took a swallow of the strong coffee and settled into the leather office chair.
“I’ll give you some privacy.” Bear moved toward the kitchen.
Bryan raised an eyebrow. “When did that become an issue?”
“I’m trying to at least give the appearance of being hospitable,” Bear mumbled as he pulled milk out of the refrigerator.
Bryan shot a glance over his shoulder at his host. “I know. I’m not trying to be an ass. It’s just . . .”
“It comes naturally?” asked Bear, shaking his head.
Bryan turned back to the computer screen and bit into the muffin. “Right,” he muttered. “ ’Fraid so.”
Bear stopped in the process of refilling his own coffee mug. “You’re not used to people knowing your business. I get it. This is an extraordinary circumstance, though, so you’re going to have to deal.”
“A bit of the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”
Bear shrugged and stirred the milk into his coffee. “Yeah, but I can recognize the tendency in others a hell of a lot easier than I can in myself.”
Bryan snorted his reply.
“Make the call. I’ll go outside so you can have real privacy.” Bear headed for the patio door.
Bryan slid on the computer headphones with the built-in microphone and made the call like Bear had shown him last night. Marissa’s number only rang once from his end before she answered.
“Hollywood?” Her husky Texas twang was there, even when she just said his name.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“I’m about to board a plane into Hartsfield. I’ve got a meeting in Atlanta tonight to get the scoop on Tomas Rivera and a possible dirty DEA connection.”
Bryan was stunned. He always was by the depths of Risa’s sources. “How did you get the intel?”
And so fast?
“I have a friend in the Justice Department.”
Of course she did.
Risa had “friends” everywhere.
“I don’t use him often, but his information is always good, and the contact is invaluable.”
Bryan didn’t doubt that. “What do you want me to do?” he asked.
“Meet me in downtown Atlanta at the Glenn Hotel on Marietta. Alone. I want you to hear what this source has to say. You can question him yourself. You’ll know things to ask that I won’t. Can you get there by nine
PM
?”
Bryan took a sip of coffee as he thought through the options and his answer. Atlanta was over six hours from Bear’s home. It would take longer to get there if he had to take back roads. Leaving Sassy here would be best; he knew that. They were wanted by police everywhere in the Southeast.
Travelling together was dangerous. He’d seen the evidence of that last night with Nick and Leland. You were completely out of options when the woman you loved was with you and the police came knocking.
The woman you loved?
Did he love Sassy? This sure as hell wasn’t the time to be contemplating that question. And it wasn’t like he didn’t already know the answer.
That, more than anything, had him answering Marissa in the affirmative. “Yes, I can be there. Not sure exactly what time I’ll get to town. I need to arrange transportation first. But I’ll be there for your meeting. Where exactly at the Glenn will you be?”
“The SkyLounge on the rooftop.”
“Got it. Text me when you land at Hartsfield.” Without Bear’s intervention, Bryan wouldn’t be able to call Risa back without being traced, but he wasn’t going to go into all that with her now. Besides, once he was away from here without Sassy, his concerns over being traced wouldn’t be as significant.
“Sounds good,” she said.
He heard the announcement for Risa’s flight over the phone as he ended the call. The sun was rising, and he headed out to the deck, where Bear was stacking wood by the sliding glass door. The air was cool and crisp. “God, it’s beautiful here. I see why you’d never want to leave.”
Bear stopped working to sip coffee from a thermal mug and stare out over the golden-tinged valley. “I love it.” His breath puffed gray smoke around his mouth as he spoke. “What do you need?”
“How did you know I’d need—” Bryan stopped and appreciated anew his friend’s intelligence, even with the social gaffes.
Bear took another slug of coffee and turned from the spectacular view. “You weren’t going to talk to someone in Paris and not need something.”
“I need transportation. I have to be in Atlanta this evening.”
“Are you particular about four wheels, or can it be two? I already offered my truck to a family friend today to move. There’ll be questions if I undo that. But I’ve got a motorcycle in the storage shed. It’ll take you every bit of seven hours to get to Atlanta, but it’s doable. Unless . . . Wait a second. You’re not taking Sassy, are you?”
“A bike is fine.” Bryan didn’t want to talk about this with Bear or anyone else.
“What about Sassy?” asked Bear. Bryan could feel his friend staring at him. “Have you told her that she’s not going? Why aren’t you taking her?”
Uncomfortable, Bryan shifted under Bear’s steady gaze. He couldn’t take Sassy for a number of reasons, limited transportation options being just one. But that was the perfect excuse, a way out.
Bear started shaking his head even before Bryan could supply his manufactured reason. “I understand not wanting to take her because it’s dangerous, but when are you going to tell her that you’re leaving without her?”
Bryan kept his eyes on the incredible vista before him. He didn’t want to answer that or fess up to what he was about to do.
Bear’s tone changed from concern to chagrin. “Well shit, Hollywood. You’re going to leave me with a furious woman in the middle of nowhere, aren’t you? That’s not a nice thing to do.”
Bryan’s laugh was rueful. No, it wasn’t a
nice
thing to do at all, to either of them. He finally met his friend’s gaze, prepared to fall on his sword. “I know. But if she wakes up, there’ll be no getting away from here on my own. She’ll wear us both down.”
Bear raised an eyebrow. “You’re scared of a woman who doesn’t weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet?”
“Hell, yes. And you would be, too, if you knew what was good for you.”
Bear snorted. “She’s got your number, doesn’t she?” He shook his head and shut the woodbox before sliding off his work gloves. “Come on, let’s get you ready to ride. You’re going to need more substantial clothing than what you’re wearing. I’ve got something that should fit.” They walked down the stairs, heading for the shed on the other side of the cabin.
Thirty minutes later, Bryan stood in the kitchen, outfitted in a black leather jacket and pants with multiple layers, insulated gloves, and a helmet. He was ready.
“Take more food,” suggested Bear. “You won’t want to stop along the way. At least not for meals.”
Bryan nodded, and Bear handed over a half dozen protein bars and four bottles of water for the bike saddlebags. “If you plan to be gone before she wakes up, you need to leave now,” he warned.
“Yeah, I know.”
Now that it was time, Bryan was hesitating. He knew he was making a mistake to go without telling Sassy goodbye. But it was the classic damned if he did, damned if he didn’t scenario.
“Tell her . . .” Bryan’s voice drifted off. He didn’t know what to tell her. That was the problem.
“What can I say that won’t have her mad as hell at the both of us?” asked Bear.
Bryan sighed. “Are you a coward?”
Bear laughed, seeming to take no offense at the question. “Nope. But I’m no fool. I’m no hero, either, especially when it comes to dealing with angry women.”
But Bryan knew that Bear would guard Sassy with his life. No matter what the man said about not being a hero.
“Just tell her I’ll be back. Tomorrow evening at the latest.”
“Got it,” said Bear.
Bryan climbed onto the vivid black bike and settled into the leather seat. The Harley had a definite retro look with all the chrome and tank flame graphics. But everything about it was state of the art, from its Twin Cam engine to its next-generation security system. It occurred to him that Bear was loaning him his most treasured possession.
“I know this is above and beyond. I don’t know how to thank—”
“What is this?” interrupted Bear. “Get out of here before that woman wakes up.”
Bryan smiled. In deference to the cold weather, he swiped the starter button before holding it down ten seconds later. The engine roared to life, breaking the silence of the early morning air.
“Thank you,” Bryan mouthed over the rumble of the exhaust.
“Go,” demanded Bear, refusing his gratitude.
Bryan revved the engine once more and drove out of the clearing beside the house. For better or worse, he was on his way to Atlanta.
S
ASSY WOKE TO
the sound of an engine revving. It wasn’t a car; it had to be a motorcycle. She reached out and touched only covers where Bryan had been lying earlier.
He wasn’t there. The sheets weren’t even warm. Her feet hit the floor, and she rushed for the window as that engine sound rumbled farther away in the distance.
She knew, without going downstairs, that it was Bryan.
He’d left her. Again.
After everything.
After all his talk of feeling guilty over what had happened after he’d left Springwater, she was on her own once more to make things happen and to get Trey out of jail. She’d been right to worry about trusting Bryan completely.
In his defense, he’d warned her last night.
You shouldn’t trust me. . .
Sassy flopped back on the bed, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. The faint scent of wood smoke and Bryan clung to his pillow. The front door opened and closed. That would be Bear.
She lay in shock on top of the duvet. No reason to rush downstairs.
What was the point?
She showered before going to talk with Bear, hoping the extra time would help her pull it together. He had to be dreading the conversation. As much as she’d like to, she wasn’t going to sharpen her teeth on that gentle giant of a man. He’d gone above and beyond what Bryan had asked.
Was it just yesterday afternoon that they’d met him at the diner outside Charleston?
In the shower she washed her hair and thought through the options. The only thing she could do now was write the story and get it to her editor. So that’s what she’d do. She dressed and went down to find Bear at his computer, along with a cheery fire burning. He looked up as she hit the bottom step, and his expression changed from concentration to wariness.
“Morning, Bear. Bryan’s gone, isn’t he?”
Bear nodded and pushed back from the desk to face her. “You heard the motorcycle? Bryan said to tell you he’d be back tomorrow night.”
She shrugged but said nothing. Tomorrow night would mark yet another day gone. The clock was ticking so loudly for Trey right now, she could hear nothing else.
“Sassy, he couldn’t take you. Not with your pictures plastered all over TV and you both wanted for murder. Half the country’s law enforcement agencies are looking for the two of you.”
She nodded. “I know. There’s always a logical and reasonable explanation.”
But the bottom line was she was here alone while Bryan was gone. Perhaps he was “saving them.” He didn’t think her news story was going to help anything. He’d made that perfectly clear.