Echoes of Us (10 page)

“Rylan, what are you talking about? You’re not making any sense.”

“I went to a life drawing class with Jade, and the model was a guy. All I could think about the entire class was a naked Jade.”

The front door opened, and Maggie shoved me into my room and closed the door behind her. I heard her talking to Jade. A few minutes later, she opened the door and waved at me to come out.

“What is going on?” she asked. The shower turned on. Fuck. My stupid mind automatically informed me Jade was naked and the water was sliding down his chest and back and ass and…. I needed a hard slap upside the head so I’d stop thinking about Jade.

“Maggie, I need to go out and have sex before I fucking lose my shit,” I rambled. “He’s always here and… fuck, I told you, we just came from a life drawing class and the naked model was this beautiful guy, but all I could focus on was Jade. Before I knew it, I’d sketched several pictures of Jade’s eyes. The professor was impressed with my drawing but told me I didn’t quite capture the model’s eyes. Jade tried to peek over my shoulder, and suddenly the professor knew whose eyes I drew. I had to shake my head and silently beg him not to out me. Oh God, Maggie, why is this happening? Jade is going to hate me. I fucking hate me. I don’t want to like him like
that
!”

Maggie put her hand over my mouth. My heart was beating so hard it sounded like it had moved up to my ears.

“Rylan,” she said slowly. “You need to calm down before you collapse and die right in front of me.”

I nodded.

“I’m going to take away my hand, and you are calmly going to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you.” She slowly lowered her hand. “Okay?” she said. “Take a deep breath.”

I followed her instructions and felt my heart rate slow down. “I need to get laid, Maggie,” I said in a low whisper. “Can you cover for me?”

“Oh,” she said as the meaning of my words sank in. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go out and get your rocks off with some nameless guy,” Maggie scolded.

“I’m losing my mind,” I whined. “I can’t take this anymore. You don’t understand. My hand isn’t enough.”

“Too much information,” Maggie said, scowling at me.

“Maggie, please,” I whimpered. “It’s either cover for me or I’m going to jump him. He’ll probably murder me, and you’ll have to live with the guilt of my death. Jade will be arrested and sentenced to life in prison. No one wins, Maggie.”

“Oh my God.” She sighed. “You are such a drama queen. Fine, fine, go out and take care of business. I’ll think of something to tell Jade.”

I kissed her and took off to primp and prime for my evening out on the town. The boys wouldn’t know what hit them. Secretly, I hoped being surrounded by beautiful guys would show me I was just horny and not feeling something for Jade. Shit. I put on my tightest jeans and hottest shirt and hit the town.

In the end, it didn’t work. I kept comparing all the guys who came near me to Jade, and none of them could hold a candle to him. What the fuck was I going to do? How do you learn to stay someone’s friend when all you want to have is more?

The cab pulled up to my house, and I scowled as I paid the guy.

“Rough night?” the cabbie asked.

“You have no fucking idea,” I grumbled and slammed the door. It had been a total waste of money and time. I gave the guy a halfhearted wave and stumbled into the house half-drunk and really pissed off, knowing it was going to be another night with my hand. When I opened the door to my room, Jade was sitting on my bed. I checked to make sure I was in the right room.

“Maggie said you went out,” he said.

“Um, yeah,” I answered. I felt like I was on trial.

“Are you seeing someone?” I noticed he kept it gender neutral. It probably wasn’t on purpose.

“No,” I said. “Jade, I’m really tired and a little drunk.”

“Did you hook up with someone tonight?”

“No,” I grumbled. This was his fucking fault, and now he was interrogating me like I was a fucking criminal. “Why are you asking me all these questions?”

He remained quiet, watching my every move and making me incredibly self-conscious. I turned off the light. There was still enough moonlight streaming in the room so his outline was visible. He didn’t move, and I could feel his gaze on me.

The logical part of my brain told me I should ask him what the hell he was doing in my room. The drunk, stupid part of my brain told me Maggie and I had spent several nights in the same bed and we were just friends. I was tired and he was in my bed. There was nothing left for me to do but get undressed.

I started with the shirt buttons. I’d never noticed how many buttons were on this fucking shirt. When I got the last one unbuttoned, I almost ripped the shirt off my body.

The belt proved to be more difficult, and I cursed it several times before I felt someone behind me.

“Jade,” I murmured in a warning tone. He was too close to me, and I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions if he touched me.

“Why didn’t you sleep with someone tonight?”

The warmth from his palms on my shoulders seeped into my skin and made my blood boil. This didn’t seem like normal straight-guy behavior.

“Jade, what are you doing?” I whimpered.

“I don’t know,” he answered. His warm breath caressed my neck. It took all my power to stay on my feet and not lean back into his body. Instead, I stepped away from him.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I asked.

Jade sat down on my bed. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

I had no clue what to say to him. The silence in my room was deafening.

He lowered his head and cleared his throat. “If I made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I thought we… that you… shit, I’m sorry,” he said again. He stood up, brushed past me, and kept his head down.

The alcohol fogged my brain, and I had no idea what the fuck was going on with Jade.

“Wait,” I said and grabbed the door before he could shut it.

“Rylan,” Jade said. “I made a mistake. Can we forget about this? It’s fucking embarrassing.”

I frowned. “Forget what? Did I miss something?” Jade kept his gaze locked on the floor. “Jade, talk to me. Please, I need to be sure I understand what’s going on. I mean, I don’t even know if there is something going on. Is there something going on?”

His eyes locked with mine. The intensity of his stare made me stumble back into the wall, or maybe it was the booze. He took a few tentative steps toward me until he was totally crowding my personal space. It certainly seemed like there was something going on.

Time stopped for me. I needed to think my next move through because I had forced myself to draw boundaries. He was supposed to be straight, my friend, and my roommate. And yet, right now, it felt like he wanted more. Those stupid boundary lines were blurring and the words
just friends
were slowly evaporating in front of my eyes.

But this was Jade, who had quickly found a special place in my life. Images floated through my head. He was the guy who ate chocolate cereal with me after we’d been on a ten-mile bike ride. He was the guy who sat on the deck with me and listened to me shout at the imaginary characters when they wouldn’t cooperate in my stories. He was the guy who lay on my bed and wrote songs with me with his ankle hooked around mine. And every time I tried to shift away from him, he mirrored my movements, never letting me get too far away. All the random touches, the wrestling, the shoulder bumping, and the shy smiles started to add up in my head. Did he want something more from me?

He was standing so close to me, his warm breath tickled my cheek when he breathed out my name. “Rylan,” Jade said in a low whisper.

“Yeah?” I squeaked.

“Help me out here,” he said. “This is new territory for me.”

“You sure?”

“Mmhmm,” Jade said.

I took a deep breath. “I didn’t sleep with anyone tonight because you weren’t there.”

He licked his lips. “I’m here now.”

I groaned and erased that fucking stupid, imaginary boundary line when my lips dragged across his. He sighed and opened his eyes, staring straight into my soul. We kissed again, and I kept my eyes open, watching as his eyelashes fluttered against his flushed cheeks.

He danced his calloused fingers up my arms, across my shoulders and slid them into my hair. He tugged gently, and tilted my head back. His tongue glided over my lips, and I opened my mouth to him. The kiss was slow and gentle and made my fucking toes curl. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been kissed like this, maybe never. He nipped at my lower lip and then buried his face in my neck, sucking down hard until I felt beautiful pain blossoming where he was marking me.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know,” he panted into my neck, clutching me tightly.

“Didn’t know what?”

“That it was supposed to feel like this,” he said. “I feel you everywhere.”

“Fuck,” I whimpered, because I felt him everywhere too, and it scared the shit out of me.

He kissed me again, pressing me into the wall until I gasped for air.

“Jade,” I whispered. He stopped kissing me and let his hands fall from my neck. His fingers tangled with mine and he slowly turned and led me back into my bedroom.

I stared at our hands locked together, and I never wanted to let go of him. That thought alone should have sent me running in the opposite direction. He let my hand drop, and we stood staring at each other, neither really knowing what the other wanted. He chewed on his lip and swallowed audibly. His hand moved toward the zipper on his pants. The unmistakable bulge of his cock was straining to be released. I stopped his hand.

“May I?” I asked politely. It sounded stupid, like we were sitting down to have coffee with Mrs. Morgan and asking permission to take a cookie off the fancy china platter she always used.

The second I brushed my hand over the denim, he groaned, and my uneasy politeness flew out the window. I wanted this. He’d tortured me for weeks by his mere existence. Now he stood fully hard in front of me, and I was acting like a fucking unsure virgin.

I popped the button and unzipped his pants, then reached in to grab hold of his cock. Jade’s head fell back, and he whimpered. He dug his fingers into my shoulders, and his thighs shook. I pulled his jeans down and stared. This was all of my fantasies coming true, but all the times I spent jerking off to thoughts of him couldn’t compare to the real thing.

“Rylan,” Jade moaned.

I pushed him so he sat down on my bed. He kicked his jeans off, and I tugged at the waistband of his underwear. I was a little nervous that Jade would have a major freak-out if I pushed him too far, but he didn’t even blink when I yanked his underwear off.

I dropped to my knees and spread his legs. He leaned back on his elbows, watching me. I slid my hands up his thighs, enjoying the feel of his muscles flexing beneath my touch. The closer I got to his cock the harder he panted.

His dick was thick and heavy in my hand, and I couldn’t resist taking a minute to admire him. He whined and wiggled until I decided I’d teased him enough. I flicked my tongue out and took a small taste, licking around the crown.

He grabbed the sheets and raised his hips. I pushed down on his thighs to keep him still and wrapped my lips around his dripping cock, taking him as deep as I could. I followed my mouth with my hand, leaving no part of him untouched.

“Oh my fucking God,” Jade croaked out.

I sucked harder, and I started to think he was going to rip my sheets to pieces or chew a hole in my pillow.

“Stop. Rylan, stop,” Jade said hoarsely.

Panic curled in my stomach, and I froze. Was this when he was going to decide everything was a huge mistake and run away from me?

“I don’t want to cum yet,” Jade whimpered as he tugged on my hair until I looked up at him. His lust-filled eyes met mine, and something curled around my heart and squeezed.

“Can I fuck you?” he asked.

The words exploded in my head, and I let his dick fall against his stomach.

“I… I mean,” he stammered, and his face flushed. “Only if you… shit. That was probably a stupid thing to say. I’m sorry.”

I scrambled to my feet, almost tripping over my jeans as they dropped to my ankles. It was a fucking ordeal, but I finally managed to get them off along with my underwear. I yanked open the drawer of my bedside table, pulling so hard the thing fell to the floor with a loud bang. The bottle of lube landed next to my foot and the box of condoms spilled everywhere.

“Shit,” I said and tossed the bottle and condom at Jade, hitting him in the head.

“Really?” he breathed.

I nodded frantically and climbed up his body. He flipped us over and hovered above me before settling between my legs. Memories of the first night I jerked off to him flooded my head. This was what it felt like to have the weight of his body on mine. It set my nerves on fire, and I couldn’t help rocking my hips into him.

“Please slow down, Rylan,” Jade warned. “Or this is going to be over before I can get the cap off the lube.”

He opened the lube and covered his fingers in liquid. I licked my lips and opened my legs wider. He shoved a pillow under my hips, exposing more of me.

“Uh, Jade? How do you know all this?”

His cheeks flushed. “You’ve been driving me crazy. When I realized what I was feeling, I sort of did some research. Just in case.”

“Oh,” I groaned as he ran his slicked fingers down my cock, pausing at my balls and then rubbing over my hole.
He did research
. My heart skipped a beat or two, and I couldn’t breathe. He wanted to be with me. Jade grabbed my attention when he rubbed my hole again.

After several more passes, he pushed in a finger, slowly twisting and watching all my facial tics.

“Another?” he asked quietly.

I panted out a pained yes and thrust my hips down. He wiggled another finger in and started slowly pumping them in and out of me. He soon had me begging for more.

The third finger hurt, but I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming. I didn’t want to freak him out. I concentrated on staying relaxed, but when he curled his fingers and hit my spot, the pain disappeared and sparks shot through my body.