Ecstasy's Promise (Historical Romance) (38 page)

Victoria sat quietly for a moment. Then she said, so softly that Dorothea could hardly hear her, "Edward and I are man and wife in name only. We have never . . . been together."

"You mean the marriage has not been consummated?"

Victoria nodded. "It is my fault, Dorothea. I love him so much, but he does not love me."

"But, my dear, of course Edward loves you. How can you doubt it? Has he never told you?"

Victoria smiled sadly. "You believe because you and Cullem are so much in love that everyone else feels the same way, but I can assure you it is untrue. Edward did not love me when he married me, and he does not love me now." She looked at Dorothea. "He wants to send me away."

Dorothea grabbed her by the shoulders. "Victoria, listen to me. You are mistaken. I have seen the love in Edward's eyes when he looks at you. It is there for all the world to see. How could you doubt it?"

"Oh, Dorothea, if it were only true, but I am afraid you see only what you want to see."

Dorothea was quiet for a moment. "You wait right here, Victoria. I want to find something to show to you."

Dorothea left her, moving quickly up the walkway and into the house. Victoria sat on the bench, feeling deflated. Saying the words out loud to Dorothea only made her more miserable. All the hurt and frustration she had been feeling rushed to the surface. She lowered her head and cried softly.

Dorothea soon rejoined her and placed a letter into her hands. "Here, Victoria, I want you to read this. I think it will clear up any misunderstandings you have."

Victoria stared at the letter. She recognized Edward's bold handwriting. Opening it, she began to read:

Dear Cullem and Dorothea,

I am sorry I have been so long in writing to you. I have been very busy, but my thoughts are often of you. I have some news that I think will please you. I have taken a bride and am the happiest man alive.

Her name is Victoria Lee. She is beautiful and charming, and I love her as I never thought it possible to love any woman. Cullem, you are probably laughing by now to think I gave up single life at last, but when you meet Victoria, you will understand why. All other women pale in comparison to my love. She is kind and gentle, and so lovely.

Dorothea, do you believe in love at first sight? I never did until I met Victoria. The moment I saw her I knew she was the one woman in the world for me. I could sing her praises all day, but you would not believe me, so I have decided to bring her to see you in person so you can judge for yourselves.

I would appreciate it if you would allow us to use your cottage for our honeymoon. I do not know when the ship will dock in Jamaica, but you can check on your end for a date.

Dorothea, you once told me I would one day find the perfect woman for me, and I am glad to say that you were right. Wait until you meet my love; you will be enchanted with her, as I am. Until I see you, I remain,

Yours truly, Edward

Victoria finished reading the letter and held it to her breast. Tears of joy ran down her cheeks. "Oh, Dorothea, he
does
love me."

The older woman hugged Victoria to her. "Yes, Victoria, he loves you very much. I know about your trouble in Georgia; Cullem told me. Did you know Edward was prepared to stay in Jamaica with you if the hearing had gone against you? He even was prepared to give up Rio del Lobo. The reason he brought you to Jamaica in the first place is so you would be safely out of the country in case he could not clear you."

Victoria's eyes were shining. "No, I did not know that. Dorothea, why did he not tell me why he brought me to Jamaica?"

"He is a proud man, Victoria, and I suspect he did not want you to worry."

"Why did he not tell me he loved me?"

"Why didn't you tell him how you felt about him?"

Victoria jumped to her feet. "Don't you see? This changes everything. He loves me and I love him."

"I would say you and Edward have wasted a lot of time."

"Dorothea, I have treated him very badly. I do not know why he put up with me. He is the most wonderful, gentle man. Oh, Dorothea, I love him so much." Victoria did not try to stop the flow of tears that washed her face.

"You can make it up to him now, my dear."

"Yes, I will do that. I must go and tell him." She kissed Dorothea on the cheek. "Thank you so much; you have given me my love."

Dorothea smiled. "It was always there for you, you had only to reach out for it."

24

Victoria spent the rest of the day getting ready for Edward. She bathed and washed her hair. She went out to the garden to allow her hair to dry. Her heart was singing: he loves me, he loves me. She could hardly wait to see him. She smiled to herself. She had so much to make up to him. He had been so patient with her, while she had acted like a spoiled child.

The day dragged out and dinnertime came—and still Edward had not returned. Victoria paced the floor. Why did he not come? She tried to sit on the couch and read one of the books that Dorothea had loaned her. She realized she had read the same sentence over and over, and laid the book aside.

The ticking of the clock told her that time was passing, but still Edward did not come. Finally, when he arrived, it took her totally by surprise. The door opened and he came into the room. He stood tall and handsome. His usually neat hair was windblown and there was a weariness about him. His eyes seemed to look right through her.

She was wearing a blue nightgown with a matching silk wrapper. Her hair shone with golden highlights as it fell across her shoulders. Her heart was pounding. "You are late, Edward," she said calmly, glad her voice did not reveal what she was feeling.

"I apologize. Cullem and I dined in town. You did not wait dinner for me, did you?"

"No. Would you like something to drink?"

"Not at the moment. I want to bathe and then you can fix me a drink if you like. We will have your lesson if you are not too tired."

"No, I am not too tired." She smiled.

Victoria held her precious secret in her heart and waited for him to rejoin her. He sat on one end of the couch and she on the other as he coached her in Spanish.

He could not keep his eyes from moving over her body. She could see the muscle twitch in his jaw. Finally, he rose to his feet.

"That is enough of the lessons. It is all so futile. A hell of a lot of good your Spanish will do you in Georgia."

"Edward, please sit dawn. There is something important I want to talk to you about."

He frowned at her. The time he had been dreading had come. She wanted to ask him for her freedom.

She moved across the room and sat down on her knees before him.

"You can save your breath, Victoria. I already know what you want to say." His dark eyes penetrated her blue ones. She could see pain in their brown depths. Dorothea had been right; Edward's eyes reflected the love he felt for her. Victoria wondered why she had never seen it before. She wanted to reach out to him and erase the pain she knew he was feeling.

"If you will excuse me, I am weary and am going to bed," Edward said abruptly, rising to his feet. He brushed past her and entered his bedroom.

With a determination that came from her love for him, Victoria rose to her feet and followed him into his bedroom. "Please, Edward, will you not let me speak?"

The only light in the room came from the open doorway.

Edward sat down on the edge of his bed and began removing his boots without looking at her. Victoria stood before him, her hands clasped in front of her.

Edward placed his boots on the floor and looked up at her at last. "I see you are determined to have your say, Victoria. Could it not wait until morning?

"I have kept my feelings hidden for so long it is difficult to share them with you even now."

Edward scowled at her. "You have not kept your feelings hidden, Victoria. I have known all along what your feelings are."

"You know about my love?" Victoria said, her eyes wide with surprise.

He removed his shirt and placed it deliberately over the back of a chair.

"Edward, I . . ."

He walked over to the window and stood with his back to her. He stared out into the darkness. It had started to rain. The raindrops peppered noisily against the windowpane. "I may be a bit misguided at times, Victoria, but I am not blind."

"Why are you reacting this way, Edward? You are not making this easy for me."

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool windowpane. Lord, did she not see she was tearing his heart out? "What do you expect from me, Victoria?"

Victoria bit her trembling lip. She placed her hand on Edward's shoulder and felt him flinch at her touch. "Please listen to me, Edward. I know you must think badly of me. It must have seemed at times I was selfish and spoiled, but . . ." Her voice trailed off. Edward seemed so withdrawn. He gave no sign he was even listening to her. Did he not want her love? Was it too late? She squared her shoulders. "If I have hurt you, Edward, I am sorry. It is just that the love I felt was so strong it frightened me. I did not know how to deal with it."

Victoria moved her hand over Edward's back. She could feel the ripple of his muscles. "Edward, you will have to understand. I was frightened of my feelings. I tried to fight hard against my love, but it was useless. Can you forgive me for my stupidity?"

Edward brushed her hand from his shoulder, and turned to face her. "Do not do this to me, Victoria. I have told you you can have your freedom. Do not stand here and tell me of your feelings for Paul O'Brian. I cannot stand much more. You would be well-advised to drop this conversation right now."

Tears stung Victoria's eyes. Edward had completely misunderstood what she was trying to tell him. He still thought she loved Paul.

"Why do you not see what I am trying to tell you, Edward?"

He grabbed her by the shoulders. His fingers bit painfully into her tender flesh. His dark eyes were blazing dangerously. "I will not listen to any more, damn you. Do you think me completely without feelings?" Then he crushed her to him so tightly she could hardly breathe. He buried his face in her hair. "I know what your feelings for me are, Victoria. I forced you to marry me, knowing how you felt about Paul O'Brian. God forgive me, I have paid for my mistake. Ask anything you will of me, darling, and I will give it to you, but please do not ask me to give you up."

Victoria was crying softly. "Oh, Edward, Edward, I just realized how much we have hurt each other."

Edward took a ragged breath and pushed her from him. "I see you will not be satisfied until you have had your say, Victoria."

The pain she saw in the depths of his beautiful brown eyes was almost more than she could bear. She looked up at him. "You only think you know how I feel about you, Edward. You do not know how I feel. You risked your life to save mine when I fell from a cliff. You knew I was worried about Manuel and Consuelo, so you moved them to Rio del Lobo so they would not have to return to Mexico. Then when Consuelo was having her baby, you came to me and gave me strength and comfort. Once again you came to my rescue in Cedarville when that awful man pushed me down the steps. Later, you married me and gave me the protection of your name. Then you brought me to Jamaica in case the hearing in Georgia went against me. Put yourself in my place, Edward. How do you think I feel about you now?"

He stared at her for a moment. "I suppose you are telling me you are grateful to me," he said sarcastically. He glared at her. "Get the hell out of my room, Victoria. This conversation is over."

"Edward!"

"Victoria, I am warning you—"

"Edward, please, I—"

"You are free, Victoria. What more do you want me to say?"

"Edward, I do not want to be free. I want to stay with you."

She saw confusion on his face. "What are you saying, Victoria?"

Victoria wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I am saying that I love you, Edward. I love you."

A flash of lightning filled the air and a loud clap of thunder rumbled in the distance, giving the words she spoke more emphasis.

Edward stood as though turned to stone. Victoria would have thought him completely unmoved by her declaration of love if it were not for the tears she saw in the depths of his beautiful brown eyes, eyes that seemed to draw Victoria to him with their overpowering magnetism.

Victoria stood on her tiptoes and pushed the stubborn lock of ebony hair from Edward's forehead, as she had so often wanted to do. She felt Edward's arms tighten about her waist. Victoria's arms slid around his shoulders. With a deep moan, Edward's lips came down on hers hungrily. Victoria returned his kiss with all the love she felt in her heart.

After what seemed like an eternity, Victoria tore her lips from Edward's. "You have not said you love me, Edward."

Edward looked deep into her eyes. His eyes were as soft as brown velvet. "Oh God, Victoria!" He swallowed hard. His voice was unsteady. "If I have not told you I love you, it is because I did not trust myself to speak. Darling, my darling, I love you so much, it is like a physical pain inside my body." His lips traced a pattern across her face. "I cannot yet believe you return my love, Victoria. Let me hear you say you love me once more."

"I love you, Edward."

He looked at the ceiling and gave a hearty laugh. "Dan was right, Victoria. I
do
always get what I want. And I never wanted anything as badly as I want your love."

Edward picked her up in his arms and sat down with her on his lap. He rained kisses all over her upturned face. "You have me thoroughly confused, Victoria. What made you decide that you love me?"

Victoria smiled at him beguilingly. "I have loved you since the first day we met, Edward."

"That is impossible!"

"No. I assure you it is true, but I did not know you loved me until today."

Edward smiled. "How did you find out? No, don't tell me, let me guess. I betrayed my feelings every time I looked at you?"

"No."

"Let me see ... I betrayed my feelings every time I touched you?"

"No."

He laughed. "Perhaps you had better tell me after all."

"Dorothea let me read a letter you wrote to her and Cullem. You said in the letter that you loved me.

Edward frowned. "If I had told you I loved you
when I asked you to marry me, would you have come
to me willingly?"

"Oh, yes, Edward. I wanted you to love me with all my heart."

Edward closed his eyes. "I wanted to tell you of my love that day, but I thought you loved Paul O'Brian. What happened between you and Paul? Why did he return to Georgia?"

"I told Paul I could not marry him because I did not love him enough. He knew I loved you."

Edward shook his head in disbelief. "Why did you
let me think you loved Paul, Victoria?"

"I reasoned that if you thought I loved Paul, you would not find out that I love you."

Edward gathered her close to him and rested his
face against her silky hair. "Darling, we have wasted
so much time when we could have been so happy. I thought you were frightened of me. I thought if I was patient with you, you would come to trust me. I was almost certain you were attracted to me, but I
did not know how to deal with your rejection of me."

"Edward, I was never frightened of you, but of
the feelings you caused me to feel when you kissed
me or touched me."

Edward cupped her face in his hands and stared down at her. "Did you ever have these feelings with any other man?" His eyes probed deeply into hers. "Did you feel that way with Paul, Victoria?" he demanded.

"No, Edward. It was you who awoke me to the fact that I was a woman. I cannot tell you how frightening it was for me. Every time you were near, my own body would betray me."

Edward looked at her triumphantly. "I want to show you what your body was trying to tell you." He groaned. "I want you so badly, darling."

Victoria's heart was beating loudly as she melted against Edward. He kissed her eyes, her neck, then her lips. "Edward, can I tell you something?" She placed her fingers over his lips.

Edward kissed her fingers; then he grinned at her wickedly. "You had better talk fast, Victoria. I cannot promise you I will not ravish you."

"Edward, this is important."

"So is what I have in mind for you."

"Edward, please."

"All right, my love, what is so important that it cannot wait?"

Victoria hid her face against Edward's shoulder. "It is just that . . . I do . . . not know what I am supposed to do."

She was afraid Edward would laugh at her. She tried to pull away as he forced her face up to his. Finally, she looked into his eyes. There was no mockery in his face, only a tenderness she had never seen before. "It will be all right, my love. I will teach you all you need to know." His voice became husky. "I love you, Victoria. Oh, God, how I love you."

Victoria felt his hands move to the sash that held her robe together. Edward lifted her up and stood her on her feet. In a swift caressing motion, her robe fell to the floor about her feet. His hands went to the ribbon on her nightgown. He paused to see if she would object. Before Victoria realized what was happening, her gown slipped to the floor to join her robe.

She heard Edward draw in his breath as his eyes wandered leisurely over her naked body. His eyes started at her fully rounded breasts, then traveled down to her flat stomach, taking in her tiny waist, past her well-rounded hips, to her long shapely legs.