Elusive Love (6 page)

“When will you be back?” I asked.

“Probably on Monday evening. I’ll text you once I know for sure.” He zipped up his bag and walked over to where I was standing.

Without a word, he took Amelia from my arms and kissed her forehead. He softly whispered something in her ear before handing her back to me.

“You’ll be okay with her all weekend, won’t you?” He grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder.

“What do you mean?”

He shifted uncomfortably in front of me. “I don’t want to start a fight before I leave, but you know what I mean.”

I raised an eyebrow. “No, I really don’t have a clue.”

He sighed. “The drinking. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve noticed that you haven’t been doing it nearly as much these last few weeks, but you haven’t stopped completely.”

“You think I would drink while I was watching Amelia on my own?” I demanded.

“I doubt if you would, but I had to bring it up. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

“I’m her mother, Joey. I wouldn’t do anything at all to put her in danger. If it’ll make you feel better, you’re more than welcome to take all the alcohol in the house with you.”

I was raging on the inside, barely able to control the anger.

“I had to ask, Caley. Don’t make it out so that I look like an ass.” He started walking to the door, but he stopped and turned back to face me. “I’ll text you when I know what time I’ll be home.”

He surprised me when he reached out and pulled both Amelia and me to him. He hugged us before stepping back. “I love you both. I hope you know that.”

I watched in disbelief as he walked out of our bedroom and down the hallway before disappearing from sight. A few seconds later, I heard the front door open and close. Then, he was gone, leaving me more than just a little confused.

Joey had been mostly silent over the last few days. We hadn’t fought, but we hadn’t exactly been friendly either. The fact that he’d hugged me, that he’d said he loved me, shocked me to my very core. I couldn’t think of the last time he’d uttered those words to me. I had assumed he felt the same way I did—trapped. If he’d truly meant those words….well, that could change everything.

I shook my head. I would never understand that man.

What are you doing?

Just put Amelia to bed. You?

Sitting on a barstool, drinking a beer, and wallowing in self-pity.

Wow, sounds like a ton of fun. Why are you having a pity party?

Because I have to pay for all this beer, and it isn’t making me feel better at all.

I thought I was the one who drowned my sorrows in alcohol. If we’re switching it up, let me know, so I can be the supportive sober one.

Please do. I need some damn support.

What’s bothering you?

I’d sent the last message before a thought occurred to me.

Wait, how are you drinking? I’m twenty-one, so you’re only nineteen.

I have friends in high places…at bars.

I rolled my eyes.

Okay. Anyway, what’s bothering you?

I’m just in a bad mood, I guess. Work sucked today, so that didn’t help any.

I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?

You could come to the bar and drink with me.

I frowned. He must really be down to have suggested that. He knew it wouldn’t be safe for me to be seen out with him. All it would take was one person seeing us together and reporting back to Joey to ruin everything.

You know I can’t. Joey might find out. Plus, he’s out of town, so I’m home by myself with Amelia.

I know. Just wishful thinking. Why is he out of town?

Work apparently. He was really…nice before he left. It was strange.

At least he wasn’t yelling at you, right?

I suppose.

If he’s gone all weekend, then you should hang out with me tomorrow.

I bit my lip. I wanted to see Ethan, I really did, but it wouldn’t be safe. Texting was one thing, but meeting him again was something I couldn’t do. There would be too much risk involved. I couldn’t risk losing his friendship. I needed it too much.

You know I can’t. If anyone saw us…

I know a place we could go. No one would be there.

Where?

I knew it would be a bad idea.

There’s a fishing hole that’s privately owned, and pretty much no one knows about it. Come with me tomorrow, please?

Instead of telling him no, I stared down at my phone. I wanted to go—badly. Ethan and Amelia were the only two people in this world who made me feel truly happy. I hated that part of my happiness required me to sneak around behind my husband’s back, but I was in far too deep to walk away now. I’d had a taste of what most people felt every single day, and I clung to it. I knew the road I was going down was paved with nothing but deceit, and if Joey were to ever discover the truth, he would be so angry, but I kept walking straight ahead on it.

I finally sent back a reply.

I don’t have a fishing pole.

No problem. I have two. So, is that a yes?

Maybe. I will have to check with my mom to see if she can watch Amelia.

Do you think she’ll say yes?

I sighed.

I’m sure she will. She loves spending time with Amelia.

Good. Then, meet me at my house at noon tomorrow.

Maybe.

I tossed my phone on the couch and sighed again. I knew without a doubt that I would be at his house tomorrow. The elation I felt over spending time with another human being who didn’t berate me or spit up on me was dimmed slightly by the never-ending guilt. It seemed that all I ever felt was guilt.

“I knew you’d come,” Ethan said the moment I climbed out of my car.

“Then, I should’ve skipped out on this little adventure just to prove you wrong,” I said with a grin.

He laughed. “But then you would have sat at home all day, watching cartoons and thinking about all the fun you were missing out on.” He studied me for a moment. “Hey, have you lost weight? You look like you have.”

I felt my face heat up as I looked away. I did not like discussing my weight or my issues with it with anyone, not even my own mother—hell, especially not my mother. For Ethan to ask about it was extremely embarrassing.

“Yeah, I’ve lost a few pounds over the last few weeks. It’s nothing to brag about though. I’m still fat,” I said, feeling twenty shades of awkward.

I couldn’t believe that he’d noticed. Joey hadn’t, or he would have said something. He made sure to regularly comment on my weight.

Ethan rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to stand here and tell you that you look like a Victoria’s Secret model, but I certainly wouldn’t call you fat. Stop beating yourself up over bullshit like that. I think you look fine.”

“Whatever,” I mumbled.

Apparently satisfied that he’d put me in my place, Ethan grabbed two poles, a cooler, and a tackle box off of his porch, balancing everything carefully. “Let me toss these in the back of my car, and we’ll go.”

“Can we take my car instead? I’m worried about leaving it in front of your house all day.”

He frowned and opened his mouth, as if to say something, but he must have decided against it. He clamped his mouth shut and nodded as he walked over to my car. After arranging the tackle box and poles in the backseat, we climbed in.

“So, where are we going?” I asked as I started my car.

“You remember the road we were on the night you came to see me?” When I nodded, he continued, “The fishing spot is on the same road.”

We were quiet as I drove, and neither of us spoke until I hit what I now considered
our
road.

“So, what was up with the pity party last night?” I finally asked.

He shrugged. “Nothing. I just had some bullshit in my head that I was trying to figure out.”

“Like what?”

“Nothing important. Turn left up here,” Ethan said.

I frowned but turned left onto a narrow dirt road. “Uh, is my car going to be okay while going down this road? I didn’t realize we’d be going off-road.”

“It’ll be fine. There are no pot holes or anything out through here. Just some small tree limbs sticking out since the owner hardly ever comes out to clear it.”

I kept going down the road, slowing down at each winding turn. After about a mile, I saw a clearing up ahead. When we reached it, I was surprised to see a large pond in front of us. A dock ran out into the middle of it. It was the perfect fishing spot.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place. I used to go fishing all the time when I was a kid.” I parked my car next to the dock.

“Hardly anyone knows about it, which is why I like it so much,” Ethan said.

We climbed out and grabbed our gear along with the cooler from the backseat. I followed Ethan down the dock to the very end. We baited our hooks and cast the lines out. I sat down on the edge of the dock with my feet hanging over the end. The dock was high enough that my feet were a foot or two above the water.