Embody (21 page)

Stella’s grief grew; it was as if I’d
already died. I felt like I’d taken myself away from her
prematurely.

I reached for her hand. “Have I always been
able to feel people?” I asked.

“No, that’s a new development.”

“And seeing the truth?”

“That’s new, too...listen, if we make it
past the morning, you’ve got keep that to yourself,” Stella
warned.

“Is it bad?” I asked, looking for
clarification.

“It’s just different - and we can’t be
different,” she whispered. “I wish I could tell you that we were
born in a beautiful world, peaceful and happy, but we don’t have
the luck of others,” she said, gazing into thin air.

I could feel a longing inside her; it was as
if she were only half of what she should be. “What do you mean, ‘as
lucky as others?’” I asked, turning my head to look at her.

Stella smiled at herself, and I could feel
her remembering something that had made her happy. “When we were
little, we overheard our dad talking to a man with dark skin at our
house. The man talked about another dimension, a beautiful place
full of color. Our father begged him to take us there, but the man
said only soulmates could live there,” Stella said, laughing
quietly. “We used to daydream together about the day our soulmates
would find us and take us away...I still do.”

I knew the grief I felt inside her was not
only for my dying, but also for a love she’d never felt. I squeezed
her with what little strength I had. “Well, then, I’m sure he will
- and then you won’t be alone anymore,” I promised her.

Stella sighed. “He would have come long ago
if he was real. I’m already twenty four,” she said, holding back
her tears.

The pain in my stomach started to loosen,
and my head stopped throbbing. I then closed my eyes and fell into
a deep sleep.

A loud bang on our door woke us up. It was
daylight again; at least we’d made it through to the dawn. Stella’s
fear was immediate, but I knew whoever was on the other side of the
door was excited and confused all at once. Stella rushed to the
door. I tried to sit up, but the pain in my stomach brought me back
down, and I immediately felt sick. An old woman came in the room;
she was wearing the same black coats that we wore. She laid a tray
with bread and milk on the bed we hadn’t slept in and handed Stella
a rolled up scroll. She nodded in my direction, then left without a
word. Stella sat on the bed. Her hands trembled as she held the
scroll; she was scared to read what it said.

“Those aren’t the execution papers, right?”
I said, half-joking, thinking that at least death would relieve
this pain.

Stella shook her head slightly, telling me
no. “This means we’ve been reassigned.”

“Is that bad?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to read it?” I asked,
feeling how nervous she was.

She shook her head no and unrolled the
scroll. Her emotion shifted to the same excitement and confusion
that I felt from the woman that brought us the food.

“It must be good,” I said, squinting through
the pain and holding back the nausea.

Hearing the pain in my voice, Stella put the
scroll down, then rushed to her coat, pulled out the pills, and
handed them to me. I protested and turned my head; I was sure that
the chalk would make me throw up.

“Evee, this takes the pain away, which will
stop the nausea.” She believed what she was saying.

As I pulled myself up, my head spun, and so
did the room. I took the pills one by one, blocking out the taste
of chalk.

“You need to eat something,” Stella
continued.

I shook my head no, realizing that would be
asking a lot of my stomach. “Evee, I can already see almost every
bone in your body...you have to eat,” she ordered.

Feeling her concern, I reached for the bread
and began pulling off small pieces. “What are we assigned to?” I
asked.

“The Blakeshire Estate,” she answered,
confused.

“I thought that was on the other side of the
world?” I commented.

“The main palace is on the other side of the
world; they have estates in every major city. It’s odd that they’re
here now. They only really come here in the winter when it rains
the least - and even that’s rare.”

“Maybe they’re coming because of the
storms,” I said.

“You’d think they’d stay away because of the
storms,” Stella said to herself.

“Are they still bad people?” I asked. As she
raised her eyebrows, I realized that if they ruled this world -
they must be.

“I’ve never seen them up close. There’s the
old man Donalt and old woman Perodine -then there’s a younger man,
Drake. Some say that he’s their son; others say he belongs to the
high priest, Alamos. No one has really been brave enough to
clarify...either way, Drake will rule one day.”

“Will it be better when he does?” I
asked

Stella shrugged her shoulders. “It just
depends on who you ask. Some think he’ll carry on in Donalt’s path;
others think he’ll bring back the sun,” she said. From her lack of
enthusiasm, I knew she didn’t believe that Drake would redeem this
world.

“How would he even do that?” I asked,
confused by all the myths she’d told me.

“With Willow,” she said in a sad tone.

“What?” I said, trying to focus on what she
was saying.

“Some people - most people - think that
Willow and Drake will rule one day and bring back the sun,” Stella
said, sighing

“But not you...?,” I said.

“No, and not you either. We know that
there’s another world full of light, full of love. We heard the
man, we lost our parents. It makes no sense for Willow to be with
someone like Drake; darkness cannot create light,” Stella said. Her
cheeks were flushed, and I felt her frustration.

“We’re the only ones that doubt that Drake
and Willow will rule, aren’t we?” I asked

She nodded. “Just forget that I said
anything; that idea would get us both killed,” she said

“I just don’t understand...yesterday, that
Tim guy wouldn’t even say her name because he was afraid he’d die –
but know you’re saying that most people think she’ll rule one day.
That doesn’t make any sense,” I said

“Donalt will have to fall before anyone else
can rule; he has ruled for longer than anyone can recall. The
beliefs I told you are only whispers in the wind; the truth is, no
one really knows. Willow could be a foolish story told to calm
young children,” Stella said solemnly.

I had my doubts that any of the stories that
Stella had told me held any truth; her soul seemed so youthful, so
naive. I began to worry about my death - not for my own selfish
reasons, but for her sake...I felt protective of her.

“Does Drake wear a hood on his coat?” I
asked.

Stella looked at me, confused. “Only the
priest do, and those who are in charge...why?”

“I just noticed that those are the ones that
I can’t feel - and if I can feel the Blakeshires, then maybe I can
make sure we’re OK,” I said, regretting that I’d eaten the bread.
It took everything I had not to get sick.

Stella shook her head in disbelief; I knew
she was uncomfortable with my new senses. “This says that Drake
Blakeshire and his priest are coming. The others must be staying
behind.”

“And that’s not normal?” I questioned.

She shook her head no. “We’ve never seen him
up close, but I’ve heard he’s very charismatic.”

“What do we have to do there?’

“We won’t know until we get there. We need
to bathe and change; we have to leave here in one hour,” Stella
said, pulling our things together.

I nodded and pulled myself up. Stella
carried our things, and I followed as diligently as I could. At the
end of the hall was a large room. Several other women were
showering along the walls, and they turned and looked in our
direction as we entered. I could feel the jealousy coming from most
of them. I wondered if they knew about our assignment; it must be a
good thing to cause such an uproar of envy. I was sure Stella felt
it, too, but she kept her eyes down and helped me take off my
clothes. I realized then that she was right: I could see all of my
ribs and pelvic bones.

Though it wasn’t nearly warm enough, the
water felt good. My hair still had blood in it from yesterday, and
washing it out proved to be a painful experience in and of itself.
I was so dizzy, I had to catch my balance over and over again. We
dressed in the corner of the room in long black dresses, covering
them with black coats. As I waited patiently for the pain medicine
to take effect, Stella must have seen it in my face.

“You have to block it out; that’s what you
told me you did before,” she whispered. I nodded. “Are you still
hearing voices?” she whispered.

“No,” I whispered. I regretted that; I
wanted to hear it, and I felt foolish for being afraid of it
yesterday.

Downstairs, we lined up with two other older women.
Damien was waiting for us. He smiled at me, and a chill ran down my
spine. He then walked to my side and slowly ran his hand down my
back. Stella saw that he was touching me, and she pulled me
forward. Damien chuckled and walked over to a desk to speak with
another man in a hooded cloak.

“Evee, he is not allowed to touch you. He’s toying
with you,” Stella whispered.

My face must have shown the confusion I was feeling.
“Evee, did he touch you yesterday when you disappeared?” she asked
in a harsh whisper.

I nodded, embarrassed. “He said I was his toy,” I
whispered back to her.

“He’s lying- you are no one’s toy,” Stella said,
glaring in Damien’s direction.

“Should we tell someone?” I asked

“Are you crazy? Do you really think they’d take our
side?” she said in a harsh whisper.

I shrugged my shoulders, knowing that Stella was
right. Damien walked over to where we stood and stretched out his
hand, telling us to walk on, then one of the older women came to my
side and helped Stella balance me.

“It’s almost a mile there; don’t push
yourself...lean on me if you need to,” Stella said.

“Are you sure this is safe?” I whispered.

Stella looked over her shoulder, then back forward.
“We really don’t have a choice in the matter,” she muttered.

The woman to my left looked down in my direction.
She was excited about going to the Estate; she seemed like a very
content person. I felt as if I could trust her. People were still
clearing the streets from the previous day’s storm. I could feel
the envy coming from the young girls that passed by, and I hoped
that this was something to look forward to. My steps were measured,
and my breath was short. The pain had shifted from a constant
sensation to measured, sharp stabs. I could breathe through most of
them, but others were so razor-sharp, I had to stop - only to be
scolded by Damien. At one point, lying down in the street seemed to
be worth whatever punishment I’d receive - but I knew that Stella
would pay the price for my weakness, so I endured on.

In the distance, I could see a long gray wall, and
behind it was a very large building, seven stories high. Though it
was gray - like everything else here - it seemed to be much more
elegant. The windows were large; some led to balconies, and others
were odd shapes, like squares triangles. Men in long black cloaks
lined the rooftop, staring forward.

“He must already be here,” the woman next to me
said.

I was grateful we were close; I didn’t think I had
the energy to make it much further. Just inside the gate, I stopped
again to catch my breath - but Damien pushed me forward. Stella and
the woman all but carried me the rest of the way. In the center of
the Estate were several steps that led to two doors that were well
over twenty feet high.

We stepped inside the large wooden doorway. The
front room had more color than I’d seen in the entire city. The
floors where a white tile, and the walls were a glossy wood covered
with paintings. Stella and the others took a deep breath; I was
sure they’d never seen such color before either.

We lined up among four other women; two of them were
very old, and two were older than we were, but still young. There
were also four older men. I wondered for a moment why we were the
only young girls here, but Stella was calm, so I saw no cause for
alarm. Besides, I wasn’t sure I’d have the energy to be defensive
if I needed to be. Damien stood to my left, and Stella stood to my
right. The others formed a line facing forward. Another man in a
cloak stood at the opposite end of the line, another behind us, and
one in front of us.

Standing there, I started to sway; I was so dizzy.
Stella did her best to help me hide it, but her efforts were in
vain. Damien jerked my arm closer to him and whispered. “Go ahead,
act out – and when they tell me to kill you, I’ll take you to my
place, and you’ll be my toy without distraction.”

My heartbeat rose in my ears, and I held back the
tears that wanted to fall. I couldn’t feel Damien, but I was
certain he wanted nothing more than for me to fall in the presence
of Drake Blakeshire.

I heard footsteps coming toward us, and I felt the
fear in my companions rise. I looked forward and saw a strikingly
handsome young man, tall, lean, and perfect in every way. He was
wearing a suit, and he was flanked by two men in long robes with
hoods. As they approached us, none of them had an emotion that I
could feel. I was certain, though, that he’d seen Damien jerk my
arm, and I feared that I’d ruined Stella’s chances of staying in
this beautiful place. The young man’s pace picked up as he
approached us, and he stopped just a few feet in front of the line
that we’d formed. I felt the admiration and respect coming from
those with me. Suddenly, a pain shot through my stomach, and I held
my breath, keeping inside the scream that wanted to escape. I
squinted my eyes closed, then opened them again, and I watched the
room spin.