Embrace, Entice, Emblaze (135 page)

graced me with that night in the wilderness felt like a gift I was not worthy of.

I brush a few strands of hair back from her face, and my fingers ache to touch her again. I move away for fear of doing just that.

Why did I ever let that connection form between us? I hadn’t

planned it but still reveled when the power surged through me,

masochist that I am.

Thrilled by the knowledge I had power over her, I promised

myself I would never use it because I loved her. But even so, already, quietly, my dark mind had begun plotting ways to ensure she’d

always be mine.

I should have told her straightaway. Maybe she would have

forgiven me. Maybe she would’ve even understood why I didn’t

heal Lincoln. I knew that if she didn’t embrace, didn’t become the power she was destined to be, then one way or another— exiles or angels— they’d destroy her.

I couldn’t stand by and watch that happen.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I pick up the hotel vase with its fake flowers and throw it at my reflection.

Think about the future! Remember the look in her eyes when

she told you to leave and not come back!

I grab a fragment of broken mirror and run the point down my

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arm, drawing both distraction and strength from the pain. Don’t forget the sight of her falling into Lincoln’s arms the moment I released her from the bond— as soon as her true nature was once again in her control.

I take a deep, steadying breath and watch the wound heal. Good

as new.

And now, more than ever, I must rise from the ashes— that’s

what a Phoenix does.

I have a purpose now. Soon I’ll have Lilith. Finally, I will be the son she always wanted me to be. She will give me a place to belong in this world. I’ve fought our relationship in the past, rejecting her ways, thinking I could be better.

I have been wrong.

I look down at the Scripture before me. Releasing the scrolls had relied upon the existence of light and dark, but it had also required Violet. Carrying out these instructions will be no different. I glance at her again.

One girl, so much power.

She still doesn’t realize what she is, what she could be to either side, though I have always suspected which one is grooming her.

She is key to so much. It all revolves around her. Something her Grigori have yet to work out or accept. They carry the knowledge of angels but also our pride. They are so preoccupied protecting their world, they are too caught up to see that, in her, they already have the tool to do it.

I look at Violet. It’s her fault. She did this to me.

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I don’t need these people. Once I have Lilith back, we’ll have

no need for them. We’ll go away, start again. No longer forsaken, I will belong.

I feel the energy in the room spark. The compulsion is fading.

In a few minutes, she will open her eyes. Will she show fear at the sight of me? No. She grows stronger every day. Soon she won’t

think twice before ending me. Maybe I will talk to her. Let her speak to me.

I glance at the map lying on the coffee table. We will leave soon.

Everything is arranged.

There are three stages, water first. She’ll hate me after making her do this, but there is no other way. It is for the best and it is easier for me when I see the flashes of hate in her eyes. It keeps me focused— and after this, the other flashes, the ones that show she knows me in a way no one else does, will dissolve altogether.

Fire comes next, forming the second point of the triangle.

The way it has all come together makes me wonder if this is all some game, some twisted mark of fate that the three of us are

so entwined.

Doubtless.

Fire will be easy. Lincoln will do what he has to do to save her.

He’ll do anything for her, except the one thing they both want—

I’ve seen to that. I let her think I had Rudyard killed on purpose.

I wish I had been strong enough to give that order, but in reality, the exiles had broken rank and acted themselves. I had lost my

control over them for a moment while I made sure Violet survived.

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I’d called them out as soon as I could, but I was too late to save the one called Rudyard. And his mate.

I’d beaten Gressil to within a breath of his life for that. It is a miracle the exiles don’t get away from me more often. Soon I’ll be finished with them and can leave them for the Grigori to finish off.

After fire comes my part, the third point of the ultimate

triangle— not within the diagram but drawn into the words— this is the only part about which I’m not one hundred percent sure.

The prophecy requires my pain, payment— blood, naturally— and

desire. I have no problems with any of those, but the line about

“insufferable pain” troubles me. Who? Of the three of us, who

must suffer the greatest pain?

I notice Violet roll from her side to her back. Her hand moves

out before she can stop it— good girl— searching for her weapon.

Of course, it is far away from her for now. She pretends to sleep even as someone knocks at the door.

It is Olivier, with two enforcer exiles behind him. I like that he is too afraid to come to me alone. He asks after Gressil and I try to hide the smirk on my face as I explain I have not sensed him since he chose to remain and fight against Lincoln.

Even before the door closes, I can feel her emotion. She has

worked out the arrangement I made with Lincoln: her safety in

exchange for ridding me of Gressil. She is so confident Lincoln has succeeded, so certain of her faith in him. I want it to make me hate her, but it does the opposite.

Damn it— she’s so frustrating.

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I would give anything to make her mine, but I will never be

enough for her.

I sit beside her while she lies still, keeping her breathing steady, even though I sense her heart rate jump at my nearness. And then I realize— the line I have fretted over so much in the prophecy is really the only one I needn’t worry about. I run my hand over her forehead, allowing my fingers to move down the side of her face.

“Love will kill us all.”

And it is entirely insufferable.

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chapter
thirty- two

“Violet, the amethyst, signified love and truth; or passion and
suffering.”

aNNa JaMesON

Th e fi rst time I woke, it was to a loud banging. I was lying on a bed. I moved my hands and feet, which were bare, and felt silk

sheets beneath me. I could sense an overwhelming number of exiles nearby, but only one actually in the room with me— Phoenix. I felt for my dagger. It was gone.

How many exiles were here? Too many to count.

I heard noises of movement and a door opened.

“Where is Gressil?” a voice growled.

“I cannot say for sure. I left him to fi ght, at his request. I have not felt his presence since.”

I could hear the satisfaction in Phoenix’s voice. Gressil had obviously become a problem. Phoenix had left him behind to fi ght

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me, and Lincoln’s word he would destroy Gressil in return. Gressil was gone.

Good.

After the door closed, I heard him come closer. He knew I was

awake, but he let me pretend to be asleep. Maybe so he could

pretend too. Leaning over me, he pushed the hair back from my

forehead. His fingers lingered on a strand of hair and then trailed lightly down my face.

“Love will kill us all,” he said sadly. “First, it makes us lie furiously so we can be what we must in order to appear deserving.

Then, it tears us apart with raw truth. Whether we are man,

exile, or angel— it doesn’t matter. For us all, the nature of truth is unforgiving.”

I could hear the regret, could feel it flowing from him to me like a confession, and my chest tightened for him.

“Sleep, my love,” he compelled me to do so again.

And, like the last time, I let his power overrule my own, finding solace in the silence.

————

I woke to find Phoenix carrying me, cradling me confidently in

his arms as he moved on foot. I could feel other exiles hovering, hungry to reach me. My face was stiff and sore. I heard them

arguing behind us, but I was too groggy to make out exactly what they were saying. He spun around and the sound that came from

him was terrifying. I half expected him to crush me in his arms, but he kept the same controlled hold on me.

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“If any of you come near her again while she is in this state, I give my word that your fate will match Aiden’s!”

I sensed the exiles moving back, uncharacteristically cowering

from Phoenix’s unquestionable power.

I assumed Aiden, whoever he was, had been responsible for the

throbbing pain on my face— I wouldn’t be surprised if my cheek-

bone was broken.

Aiden was dead.

I’d seen Phoenix take down an exile before, ripping his heart

right out of his chest. No wonder I could taste the aniseed

flavor that signaled their fear. None of these exiles questioned his power.

It should have frightened me too. But it didn’t. If nothing else, Phoenix had honor in battle. He wouldn’t let them beat me without a fair fight, just as he’d never allowed exiles into my home when I was asleep. He wouldn’t even use
his
powers over me unless I could stand and fight— there was no challenge in that.

I opened my eyes the little I could, wincing at the sharp pain.

Dawn was coming, lighting the sky only just. I had a feeling more than one night had passed.

He was watching me.

I shifted— the slightest angling of my body toward him— into

his hold. I knew I was safe with him even though he held me in

this coma- like state. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt me later or let one of them kill me. It didn’t mean he’d stop me if the time came for drastic measures. But for now, I was safe.

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I saw something in his eyes as the corners of his mouth lifted, a look that was not exile but…
human
.

“Bliss,” he whispered, followed softly by, “sleep.”

His power— jasmine and musk— blanketed me and I closed my

eyes once again.

————

The next time I woke up, I was lying on a narrow vinyl bed opposite a galley— I could tell by the sound and movement that we were on a speed boat. It took a while, but this time I woke fully. I could sense Phoenix somewhere above. There were no other exiles with

us, but I could feel their distant presence nonetheless, an awesome number, unlike anything I’d ever sensed before.

The boat started to slow. He knew I was awake. My hand

pushed out and knocked something cold and hard— my dagger in

its sheath. He’d left it for me.

I wasn’t going back to sleep this time.

————

I took inventory. My legs were wobbly but working. My face was

bruised, but already I was healing, so I knew some time had passed since I’d been hit. The pain that I’d been experiencing internally, thanks to my soul, seemed to have lessened, though I didn’t know how long that would last. I could still feel it lurking inside me, like a clever snake waiting to strike.

Phoenix had left a change of clothes, and while I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of putting them on, I didn’t want to have to fight in the red dress I was still wearing. I quickly changed into 369

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the pants and tank top and was relieved to find a pair of sneakers too. I shivered— it was creepy he knew all my sizes. I secured my dagger around my waist and quickly scanned the small cabin to

see if there was anything else that could help me, but everything was bolted down. I searched in vain for a radio but it was futile—

Phoenix had been thorough in his preparations.

Looking through the small porthole, it seemed like mid-

morning, but again I felt certain another full day and night had passed since I had last woke. I had no idea how long I’d been

under Phoenix’s spell.

After waiting as long as I dared, I made my way up to the deck.

Phoenix was sitting on a plastic bench that wrapped around a

square white table fixed to the floor. A large sheet of paper was spread out in front of him. A map. Drawn on top of it, a carefully plotted, large, inverted triangle with another smaller one within.