Embrace My Reflection (3 page)

Ronnie shivered in fear as memories of those nights raced through him. He’d ended up moving out of his apartment and moving in with Cindi and Percy. Christ, he hated being afraid, especially in a place where he should feel the safest.

Lucius stood and embraced Ronnie, drawing him into his arms. Ronnie wrapped his arms around Lucius’ waist, resting his head on Lucius’ broad chest. He smiled slightly at the quick kiss brushed over his hair.

Nodding, he shrugged. “I’m staying with Cindi and his partner, but it’s kind of cramped for the three of us. Poor Percy, living with two cross-dressers. The man’s swimming in clothes and shoes.”

Lucius chuckled. “I bet. Now I’m making this offer as a friend, Ronnie.”
Ronnie stepped back, not breaking Lucius’ embrace. “What?”
“You’re more than welcome to move in with me. I have an extra bedroom with a walk-in closet.” Lucius winked. “That way, you have your own room and don’t have to worry about sharing your clothes with Cindi.”
Ronnie burst out laughing. “Sweetheart, if you’d seen Cindi, you’d never say something like that. Cindi wouldn’t fit into any of my clothes, much to his despair.”
“I’ve never been here before, so I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Cindi, but he and his partner must be wonderful people to open their home to you.” Lucius chuckled. “I’ve gotten off track again. I need to talk to you some more about Cameron.”
“Right.” Ronnie moved away toward the screened off corner where his costume for his next set hung. “I have to get dressed. Is it all right if we talk while I finish changing?”
“Sure. I don’t want you to get in trouble for not being ready.”
Lucius prowled around the room, not coming close to the section where Ronnie dressed. It was the gentlemanly thing to do, and Ronnie appreciated the fact Lucius didn’t assume Ronnie would be willing to get naked or half-naked in front of him. Not that Ronnie wouldn’t, but he wanted to spend a little time getting to know Lucius again before he gave his body to him.
Ronnie snorted silently.
Conceited much?
Just because the man kissed him and was seriously attracted to him didn’t mean Lucius wanted him in his bed. He didn’t even know for sure Lucius was gay. Their first and only time together could have simply been the hormones of an eighteen-year-old boy overwhelming him to the point he didn’t care if he fucked a boy or a girl. Also, with the way Ronnie had dressed that night, Lucius could’ve easily deluded himself into thinking he was sleeping with a girl.
Yanking his black sequined cocktail-length gown down, he asked, “Are you gay?”
“What?” Surprise colored Lucius’ voice. “Why are you asking that?”
“I don’t know. I just got thinking about it, and I wondered if you’re gay or if I was just an experiment back when you were in high school.”
He squeaked as his screen got yanked out of the way. He turned, holding his dress to his chest with his hands, and stared up into Lucius’ angry eyes.
“Don’t you remember me telling you that I knew I was gay when I was fifteen? None of that changed in the years since I slept with you. You weren’t an experiment, Ronnie, or something I outgrew as I got older. I’m still gay and I still think you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”
“If you don’t kiss the man, Ronnie honey, I just might be forced to, and Percy wouldn’t like that at all.”
Cindi’s voice coming from behind Lucius surprised them both, but Ronnie took what Cindi said to heart. He reached out with one hand and cradled Lucius’ cheek with it. Pushing up on his tiptoes, he licked along the seam of Lucius’ mouth, begging the man to open to him.
Lucius moaned and surrounded him with hard male flesh. Ronnie shuddered as Lucius’ rough hands stroked along a strip of his skin, bared by the corset he wore on stage. Forgetting about his dress, Ronnie raised both hands and buried them in Lucius’ hair, tilting his head for a deeper kiss. Their tongues dueled and stroked, teasing each other by nibbling or sucking on bottom lips.
“Jesus Christ, children, I don’t want you doing it here in the dressing room. Not good form at all.”
They broke apart, panting and staring at each other. Ronnie blushed when Lucius knelt and picked up his dress from the floor. He held still as Lucius settled it in all the right places before turning Ronnie around to zip him up.
“Go fix your make-up and hair. I have an early morning meeting with my captain tomorrow, so I have to leave.” Lucius led Ronnie to his mirror before digging out a business card and sticking it in the corner of the frame. “Here’s my card. When you get up tomorrow, give me a call and we’ll continue our talk? If it’s okay with you.”
Ronnie nodded, but couldn’t bring himself to say anything.
“Don’t worry about the time when you call. I figure you probably end up sleeping in since you work so late.” Lucius bent over and kissed Ronnie quickly.
As Lucius turned, Ronnie saw his eyes widen as he spied Cindi standing just inside the dressing room. When Ronnie said Cindi wouldn’t fit into his clothes, he meant it. Cindi was as tall as Lucius without heels, and his shoulders were almost as wide as the doorway. Cindi started life as Charles, and after moving to New Orleans, became Cindi, owner and the original performer at Cindi’s Cabaret.
“I know you’ve been keeping an eye out for Ronnie and I really appreciate it.” Lucius held out his hand.
Cindi took a hold of his, but instead of shaking it, Lucius bowed over it and brushed a kiss on his knuckles. Cindi’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at Ronnie over Lucius’ head.
Lucius straightened and started to walk out the door. Pausing, he turned back and said to Ronnie, “My offer is open for as long as you might need a place.”
Ronnie blushed and nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
“Great. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
After Lucius disappeared, Ronnie reapplied his lipstick and brushed his hair back before slipping his wig on again. He smoothed the wrinkles out of his dress and checked his ass in the mirror.
“Christ, child, you look as stunning as you always do. Actually, you look better. There’s a light in your eyes I haven’t seen in a long time.” Cindi waved a hand in the general direction Lucius took. “Is he a new friend? And if he is, I didn’t think you worked that fast, honey.”
“
That
was Lucius, Cindi.” Ronnie shut his dressing room door behind him, making sure it was locked. He tucked his key in his corset. Cindi placed his hand in the crook of Ronnie’s elbow.
“Lucius, huh? You always had the best taste. I bet he’s better looking now than he was back in high school. Probably broke a lot of hearts. Did he break yours?” Cindi nodded regally at one of the other performers as he came off stage.
Ronnie shook his head. “No, but I think he thinks he did, or that he did something to hurt me.”
“He left you?” Cindi pulled him to a halt. Cindi’s gaze bore into Ronnie’s, asking for honesty.
“Yes, but I knew he would. We came into New Orleans for the night. He was leaving the next day for boot camp. His dad wouldn’t come say good-bye to him, so I came. For two years, we were each other’s family.” Ronnie rubbed his hand over his chest and smiled up at Cindi. “We gave each other our virginity, and I’ve never regretted letting him be my first.”
“I can’t wait to get to know him better.” Cindi gave him an air kiss and a pat on his ass. “Now get up there and wow them like you usually do.”
Ronnie took a deep breath and calmed his nerves. As much as he loved performing in front of a standing room only crowd, he still got nervous until he sang the first note.
Confidence filled his heart as he stepped out from behind the curtain and the audience clapped and whistled. Ronnie set his shoulders and swayed to the rhythm of the music. It happened to be one of his favorite songs, and one he sang often because it reminded him of Lucius.
“When one is lonely, the days are long…”
As the last notes of “Someday I’ll Find You” drifted over the heads of the people in the crowd, Ronnie realized he didn’t have to sing that song anymore. He’d found Lucius again, and this time he didn’t intend to let him go.

When Ronnie finished his third and final set at around two in the morning, he kept his gaze on the people in front of him and didn’t even turn in the direction of Senator Cameron, who still sat in his booth, leering at Ronnie. The man’s gaze bore into Ronnie’s back as he exited the stage.

Cindi and Percy waited for him backstage. He hated needing an escort everywhere, but he couldn’t trust that the senator would stay away from him. Also, the man had never learned the meaning of the word “no.” Ronnie rushed to his dressing room, unlocked the door, and slipped inside. He locked himself in. Again, another precaution he hated taking. Yet he’d discovered the hard way that a closed door wasn’t a deterrent to Cameron. The man had burst on him more than once while he was changing.

After sitting, Ronnie unzipped his boots and sighed as he slipped them off. He loved them and they made his legs look amazing, but at times, they were a bitch to wear. Taking off his wig, he stuck it on the Styrofoam head and pinned it there. He took out the blue contacts and popped them into their containers. He left those things at the club. It saved on wear and tear if he didn’t have to transport them back and forth. Ronnie packed his boots away and changed out of his dress, hanging it up to keep it from wrinkling. His stockings came off and were rolled up, tucked in his bag along with his corset and underwear.

He always brought a change of undergarments with him since he tended to sweat under the floodlights on stage, plus the underwear he wore under his gowns practically strangled his cock, keeping the illusion of femininity. He slid on a pair of black silk and lace panties before tugging on his jeans. As much as he liked wearing skirts and cute outfits, after a long night of performing, he wanted comfort clothes that were jeans, a fitted T-shirt, and a pretty cardigan for a jacket.

He washed off his stage make-up and pulled his hair back in a ponytail. Checking his reflection in the mirror, he caught sight of Lucius’ card in the corner. Ronnie plucked it up and read the words on it.
Lucius Montagne, Detective, New Orleans Police Department.
It had a work number on it, along with a cell number.

A knock on the door and he heard Cindi call out, “Ronnie honey, you ready to go? Tomas will take you home.”
“Okay.” He brushed on some lip-gloss and mascara before checking his hair once more. He hated the stage make-up he had to slather on, but enhancing what God gave him wasn’t bad.
Ronnie slipped into his favorite black heels and slung his bag over his shoulder before opening the door. Tomas stood there, arms crossed and back braced against the wall.
Smiling up at the bouncer, Ronnie apologized, “I’m sorry you have to do this, Tomas. I could just grab a taxi.”
Ronnie grinned in thanks as Tomas took his bag from him and laid his hand at the small of Ronnie’s back. He’d rather it was Lucius escorting him home, but he understood about Lucius doing his job and he didn’t want to be a bother.
Tomas shook his head. “No way, Ms. Lake. Your boyfriend told me I needed to make sure you got back to Ms. Cindi’s without any problem. I might be bigger than him, but he’s definitely meaner than me when it comes to you. Plus Ms. Cindi’d have my balls if I let you go on your own and something happened to you.”
It always amazed him that people cared that much about him. His mother never really cared one way or the other. In fact, when he ended up staying in New Orleans instead of going home after Lucius left, she didn’t freak out. In fact, she didn’t realize he was gone until he went back.
For several months, it was Cindi and the other performers at the cabaret who had kept him going. He’d missed Lucius more than he ever though possible, but he accepted that Lucius had a different path to follow than he did. Little did Ronnie know their paths would re-connect years later, yet there they were, lives somehow intertwining again.
“Lucius wouldn’t hurt you, Tomas. He’s just protective of me.”
“I didn’t realize you were dating anyone, but I’m glad you picked that guy. He seemed a little uncomfortable about coming into the cabaret, though. Didn’t he know what you did for a living?” Tomas grinned. “Though it didn’t seem to bother him once he got inside.”
“Oh, Lucius knows what I do, but he’d never seen me perform before.”
Which was as true as it went. Ronnie didn’t feel like elaborating. If Tomas believed Lucius was his boyfriend, then the bouncer would tell other people who might ask. The knowledge there was someone else in Ronnie’s life might make the senator back off, especially if that man was a police officer.
“Ah, well, you were great as usual, so I’m sure he’s proud as hell of you.” Tomas offered Ronnie his arm as they strolled down Bourbon Street through the crowd.
“He’s been proud of me since we first met.”
Especially the first day Ronnie stood up for himself against the Brosier twins.

Lucius threw a casual arm around Ronnie’s shoulder and gave him a quick hug. “I have to get to algebra class. Old man Renford’ll be pissed if I’m late again.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at lunch, right?” Ronnie clutched his books tightly to his chest, trying hard not to throw himself against Lucius.
“Of course, honey. I wouldn’t miss eating with my favorite guy.”
The endearment Lucius used was said softly because Lucius didn’t want anyone to take offense at it and go after Ronnie. Ronnie figured he should be more upset about Lucius calling him honey, but it thrilled him that Lucius cared so much for him.
Lucius walked off, turning once to wave before being swallowed up by the milling crowd of teenagers. Ronnie whirled around, needing to get to his French class or risking being late himself.
“Oh, look, if it isn’t little Miss Faggot, and surprise, she’s all alone without her butch boyfriend.”
Ronnie gasped as hard hands grabbed his shoulders and shoved him into the nearest locker. His books flew everywhere, and he caught himself before his face hit the metal. Swinging around, he glared at Max and Zane Brosier.
“You can’t talk to me like that,” he spoke up, hands clenched at his sides.
“We can’t? Who’s going to stop us? You?” Max laughed harshly and elbowed his brother. “The little girl is trying to tell us what we can and can’t do. Like she can stop us from doing anything.”
Zane stayed silent, and for the first time, Ronnie looked into one of his tormenter’s eyes and saw compassion mingled with shame.
“Come on, Max. We’re going to be late for class. It’s not worth it.” Zane took a step back, unwilling to continue antagonizing Ronnie.
“When did you turn into such a girl?” Max swung a punch at Ronnie.
He remembered what Lucius had shown him the night before about dodging blows. Ducking, he let Max’s fist slide off his shoulder. There was a lot of power behind Max’s fist, but Ronnie only caught some of it.
Ronnie kicked out and nailed Max in the balls. The bigger guy’s eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor, gasping like a goldfish out of water. Ronnie stood over him, watching Max writhe on the ground, holding his balls. Glancing up, he saw Zane standing there, hands shoved in his pockets.
“Are you going to do something about it?” He swallowed his fear. He’d always be bullied and picked on, if he didn’t start standing up for himself. Luckily, he had someone to back him now instead of always feeling alone.
“No.” Zane shook his head and apologized. “I’m sorry, Ronnie, about picking on you. It ain’t right, and I won’t do it again. I’ll try to keep Max away from you.”
Lucius stepped into the clearing created by the students and glared at Zane. “Well, we know Ronnie can take care of himself now. Just make sure your brother remembers what happened this time.”
He ignored the still-groaning Max as he crouched to pick up Ronnie’s books. After cradling the pile in his arms, he straightened and offered Ronnie his arm.
“Let’s get out of here. You’ll be late for French, and I don’t want the teacher to keep you late for lunch.”
Ronnie stepped over Max and slid his hand into the crook of Lucius’ arm. Someone in the crowd snickered, but Ronnie didn’t care anymore. He could defend himself, if he chose to, and Lucius would be there to protect him if he couldn’t. Senior year was looking up.