Embrace My Reflection (2 page)

Applause broke into his memories and he blinked, coming back to Cindi’s Cabaret. The lights came up and Ronnie blew kisses and strolled off the stage, his hips swaying enticingly. Right before he slipped behind the curtain, Ronnie looked back over one shoulder and his gaze met Lucius’. In their beautiful blue depths, Lucius saw happiness and hesitation. At least, he hoped Ronnie was happy to see him. He could understand the hesitation. After running out on Ronnie ten years ago, why would he want to see or talk to Ronnie now?

This time it wasn’t the waiter standing by his table; it was the bouncer who’d talked to him outside the club. Lucius climbed to his feet and followed the man through the crowd. He glanced over at Cameron and noticed the man was still staring at the stage.
Good.
He needed to talk to Ronnie before Cameron ever realized Lucius had been at the club.

Backstage was organized chaos. Men in dresses ran back and forth between rooms and the stage. Lucius gave them a lot of credit because he knew he couldn’t walk two feet in those heels. Seeing all that satin and lace spiked his interest and he bit his lip to keep from moaning.

The bouncer stopped in front of a closed door. Lucius read the name on the star, Veronica Lake. He smiled as he remembered watching old black-and-white movies starring Veronica Lake and Alan Ladd with Ronnie. It didn’t surprise him that of all the starlets Ronnie could have impersonated, Veronica was the one he’d picked.

“Sir, I want to tell you that I don’t care if you’re a cop or not. You bother Ronnie or hurt her, I’ll take care of you myself. Just because she works here doesn’t mean she’s a whore or crazy.”

Nodding, Lucius met the bouncer’s serious expression. “I know. Believe me, I’m not here to bother Ms. Lake or hurt her. I simply want to say hi and talk with her for a little while. Catch up on old times.”

“Well, she doesn’t usually allow people back here, not even after the show, so I guess you’re special to her. But I’m keeping an eye on you and if I think something’s wrong, I’ll throw you out of here.” The bouncer flexed his muscles, and Lucius nodded again.

“I’m wondering if you’d do something for me. There’s a customer here by the name of Cameron. He’s kind of a big name in the city.”

I’d appreciate it.”
“He won’t leave until Ronnie does her last set. He only comes
for her.”
Fuck, that was what Lucius was afraid of. “Okay. Well, if you
mark down what time he leaves anyway, I probably won’t be here
then. Too late at night for me to stay out.”
The bouncer snorted and knocked on the door.
“Yes?” That musical voice Lucius had never forgot floated
through the door.
“Your guest is here, Ms. Lake.”
The door swung open, and Lucius’ mouth went dry. He could
only stare in stunned silence at the sight greeting him. Ronnie had
changed out of the scarlet gown and into a black velvet robe tied
loosely around his waist. The neck gapped open, showing the edge
of something white and lacy. His legs, encased in silky black
stockings and black knee-high boots, peeked through the bottom
half of the robe. Instead of blond hair, Ronnie had shoulder-length
light brown hair, so he had obviously worn a wig while he
performed.
Ronnie ducked his head and let his hair cover his eyes as he
met Lucius’ gaze with a hesitant smile. “Hello, Lucius.” He had to clear his throat a couple times before he could get
any words out. The bouncer beside him chuckled at his inept
fumbling.
“Hey, Ronnie, you were marvelous tonight.” Not the greatest
opening, but it was the best Lucius could do at the moment. “Thank you.” Ronnie flashed a bright grin at the bouncer.
“Don’t worry, Tomas. Lucius isn’t a stalker and won’t be dragging
me off to his house for nefarious reasons.”
“I wish,” Lucius muttered, and flushed when Ronnie’s eyes
widened slightly. Shit, he’d said that loud enough for Ronnie to
hear. He cleared his throat again and tried to look innocent. “All right, but you call if you need me.” Tomas glowered at
Lucius once more before turning and heading out to the dance
floor.
“Jesus, you’d think you were some stranger. I told them I knew
you and it wasn’t any big deal to have you come back here and talk
to me.” Ronnie stepped aside and gestured for Lucius to come in
the room.
Lucius entered and found himself surrounded by sparkles,
feathers, leather, and lace. It was like a fabric store had exploded,
covering every square inch with rainbows. He breathed deep and
sighed. The air smelled like cinnamon and vanilla, another
combination that made him think of Ronnie.
The door clicked shut and he turned, his breath catching at the
sight of Ronnie leaning against the door. Ronnie’s hands were
hidden behind him, causing his hips to angle forward in a way that
drew Lucius’ attention to the pronounced bulge at Ronnie’s groin
hidden under black velvet and whatever underwear he wore. Lucius rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans and cleared his
throat again. Shit, he sounded like he had TB or something. “I’m sorry. I should’ve put on some different clothes, but I only
have an hour between sets, and sometimes it’s difficult to get
dressed on my own. So I usually change right after my first set.”
Ronnie straightened and tugged his robe tight around him. Lucius touched Ronnie’s hair as the slender man walked past
him. Ronnie froze as Lucius stroked his fingers over the waves of
golden brown.
“It’s as soft as I remembered it to be,” he said, savoring the
silkiness of the strands.
Ronnie made a noise, and Lucius realized what he was doing.
He jerked away his hand, trying not to notice the few strands
caught in his rough skin.
“I’m sorry, Ronnie. I didn’t mean to touch without asking. You
always had such beautiful hair.”
God, he was babbling. Why was he so nervous? It wasn’t like
he hadn’t faced uncomfortable situations before. He’d served as an
MP in the army for eight years before joining the New Orleans
Police Department. Yet something about Ronnie threw him off,
and it wasn’t just the clothing. It was Ronnie himself, bringing
feelings Lucius thought buried to the surface.
“That’s all right. It’s been a while since anyone’s touched me
like that.” Ronnie’s pale skin flushed and he ducked his head
again, a sure sign he was as uncomfortable as Lucius. “I wear the
wig and blue contacts to help look more like Veronica Lake.” “Please don’t feel like you need to change because of me. I’ll
admit to being uncomfortable.” Lucius held up his hand to stop
Ronnie from speaking. “It’s because of you and your clothing, but
not because I think it’s wrong or anything like that.”
Lucius took a deep breath.
Just get it over with.
Ronnie
wouldn’t laugh at him for admitting it.
“I’m uncomfortable because I find you incredibly sexy dressed
like that, Ronnie. I’ve been hard since you came on stage and I’m
not used to feeling that way. I need to become accustomed to it.
You don’t have to change at all.” He ran out of steam and stopped,
clenching his hands to keep from grabbing Ronnie.
“Really?” Ronnie stared up at him with hopeful eyes. “You
really think I’m sexy dressed like this?”
Lucius followed the journey of Ronnie’s hand down the front of his robe and he couldn’t stop himself. He took Ronnie’s hand in his and pressed it to his pants, right over his own erection. Ronnie
gasped, but didn’t pull away.
“Yes. I do think you’re gorgeous, and I think it wouldn’t matter
what you wore. Feminine clothes or male clothes. It’s all you, not
the outfit you wear that does it for me. Always has been that way.” “Oh.”
Ronnie lifted his red painted lips toward Lucius, and being only
a man, Lucius couldn’t say no to the offer. He lowered his head,
pressing their mouths together in a gentle kiss. As much as he
wanted to ravage Ronnie, he was mindful of where they were and
that Ronnie had another performance to do soon. He didn’t want to
ruffle anything that might take longer than a few minutes to
straighten.
His cock strained against his briefs, wanting a chance to get
closer to Ronnie’s smooth, scented skin. It had been a while since
he’d held anyone in his arms and longer still since he wanted that
person beyond reason.
A soft whimper and Ronnie’s hand pushing at his chest brought
Lucius to a stop. At some point during the kiss, he’d let go of
Ronnie’s hand and grasped Ronnie’s upper arms. He eased away a
step or two, but kept his hold on Ronnie.
Licking his lips, Ronnie met Lucius’ stare with a glazed look in
his eyes. “Wow. Just like I remember.”
Remorse shot through Lucius. “Ronnie, I wanted to tell you I
am sorry for how I treated you.”
Long, elegant fingers with red polish matching Ronnie’s
lipstick pressed against Lucius’ lips. “You can apologize later if
you wish. I have a feeling you wanted to talk to me about
something else tonight.”
Lucius shook his head, letting Ronnie wipe off the lipstick
before he spoke. “While I don’t regret kissing you and watching
you perform, you’re right. I need to talk to you about Cameron.” The little moue of disgust and anger alerted Lucius to the fact
that no one at Cindi’s seemed to like the United States senator
from Louisiana.
“Why am I not surprised you want to talk about that snake?” Ronnie whirled around and stalked toward a chair in front of a
make-up table. Lucius followed, trying not to stare at the way
Ronnie’s hips swayed while walking in those high-heeled boots.
His friend dropped into the chair and crossed his legs, the robe
falling open enough to show off most of Ronnie’s long limbs. The
man wasn’t very tall, but most of his height came from his legs. Lucius closed his eyes and took a sharp breath.
Get your head
out of the gutter, you bastard. You’re here to retrieve information,
not imagine Ronnie’s legs wrapped around your waist while you
ream his ass.
“What do you want to know about our lovely senator?”

Ronnie saw lust flare in Lucius’ dark eyes as the man practically stripped him naked. Ronnie had become familiar with the expression in the last nine years since he’d started performing. Men and women both wanted him when he dressed like Veronica Lake and sang. But in the harsh light of day, none of them wanted him when he dressed like Ronnie Lake, a cute man who liked women’s clothes. They all wanted him to change and become something else to make them feel comfortable.

For a while, when he first figured out what he liked, he tried to be what others wanted him to be, but he wasn’t happy. After one particularly spectacular break-up, Ronnie realized something. Of course, it was after he’d eaten a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream and cried buckets of tears on Cindi’s shoulder that he concluded there were people out there who would accept him for who he was.

He’d had the privilege of knowing such a person for two years in high school during what could have been the worse time of his life. Lucius Montagne had burst into Ronnie’s life their junior year and had kept Ronnie from ending everything. Oh, Ronnie never told Lucius all he meant to him. He’d never wanted to weigh Lucius down with that kind of responsibility.

Yet it was the memory of how Lucius had looked the night Ronnie stepped from the bathroom wearing a dark pink negligee and pink heels that Ronnie remembered and made him believe there were men out there who would accept him as he was. Shock had warred with desire in the eighteen-year-old’s eyes until desire won out. Lucius had been Ronnie’s first lover, and the only one who really saw Ronnie inside and out, and wanted him anyway.

Those memories were the ones to keep Ronnie honest and unwilling to compromise. If Lucius, one of the most masculine men Ronnie knew, thought he was sexy dressed in silk and lace, then Ronnie believed there were other men out there who would feel the same.

It didn’t matter now because Lucius stood before him, erection noticeable against his pants and a smear of lipstick still on his lips. Ronnie waved him over.

Lucius rested his ass against Ronnie’s dressing table and leaned forward enough for Ronnie to rub the remaining red off his skin. Ronnie filled his lungs with the musky male scent drifting from Lucius. He wanted to bury his nose in the base of Lucius’ throat and breathe.

Ronnie settled back in his chair, tugging his robe to cover his legs. Talking about Senator Cameron always made him want to take the hottest shower he could and scrub all the dirt off his body.

Lucius blinked, and Ronnie could see reality returning to the man’s brain. There were other reasons why Lucius had come to Cindi’s. Did Lucius see kissing Ronnie as a delightful bonus or had it been his way of loosening Ronnie up before asking the tough questions?

They might have been apart for ten years, but Ronnie couldn’t see Lucius changing that much. Honest and straightforward, Lucius would never use their attraction as a way to get Ronnie to help him.

“I read the complaint you registered with the police last month about Cameron stalking you.” Lucius straightened and crossed his arms over his wide chest. “I’d like to hear about it in your own words.”

“The police took one look at me dressed in heels and thought I was crazy. There wasn’t any way the honorable senator would stalk someone like me.” Ronnie rubbed his hands together and shot to his feet. “I’m not crazy, Lucius. He sent me flowers and notes. When I didn’t respond to those, he tried sending me more expensive gifts, which I returned unopened. He comes to my show when he’s in town, every night sometimes. He’s out there right now.”

“I know you’re not crazy, Ronnie. I had a friend of mine at the FBI do a little research for me. Cameron has a history of stalking women who look like you. Beautiful, blonde, and blue-eyed. Nothing’s ever come of the allegations, but I do believe he’s stalking you.”

“But he knows I’m a guy. Why would he keep doing that if he’s not gay? At least, I haven’t ever heard a whisper of him being gay or bi. And when I’m not performing, I have brown hair and eyes. I don’t understand why he’d do this.” Ronnie bit his lip, not caring about ruining his make-up. “There’ve been times he’s followed me home to my apartment and tried to get inside. He only went away when Cindi and Percy showed up.”