Embracing Love (15 page)

Yours Only,

E.L.M

P.S.
I hope you enjoyed the BLT from the café.

My mother was waiting for me at the airport.
“Lila, what are you going to do about all this?” “Mom I really don’t know, I love them both. But in my heart, I know it’s Liam.” “I know my sweet girl, I know.”

“
Your father has been working on the case looking for Addison’s killer.” “I hope they find him, I miss her so much.” “Oh you know your father, he won’t stop till they do.” “I know he won’t, Mom, but I worry about him out there on those streets.”

“
I do too, sweetie, that’s what he loves though. That has always been his life. You know him and your uncle Kes have to compete and see who can capture the most criminals.”

“
Mom, I’m going look for a job as a paralegal for now. I know I can stay in the guest house. But I think I will move in the beach house for now with Liam, if that’s okay?”

“
That’s fine. Eric isn’t going back to Boston yet. You guys can help get Liam back to himself again.” “Mom, am I making the right decisions?” “Lila, you will have to do what you feel is best for you, not best for those men.” “Thanks, Mom.”

“
Liam, we need to talk,” I said. “Okay I’m listening,” he replied.

“
I never meant for any of this to happen, Liam.” “So what if I hadn’t been found? Were you just going to marry that bastard?” “I don’t know Liam, you were gone. You left me.” “I left you, Lila? I was lying in a hospital bed in the middle of fucking nowhere. No one knowing who I was, while you were playing house and fucking that hulk looking mother fucker!” “That’s not fair, Liam! You know I love you more than anything.”

“
Oh, you love me so much you quit looking for me and started fucking every guy on campus.”

“
That’s enough, Liam! It was only Evan and he was my friend. He was there for me when I thought you weren’t coming back. He knew I loved you, I couldn’t help that I fell in love with him. I would have never pursued a relationship with him knowing you were okay and would be back.

Not a day went by that I didn
’t look for you. I thought about you every day, every day that I woke up I wanted your arms around me. I wanted to know that you were still breathing and that you were coming back to me.”

“
I’m sorry, I’m just so upset, beautiful.” “Liam, I know you are.” As he went to stand. he fell down. “I can’t take this shit, I can’t even walk sometimes.” “Liam, stop you are just upset.”

“
Stop treating me like I can’t do anything for myself, Lila.” “Okay I was just trying to help you.” “I don’t need help, I’m a man not a child and I can take care of myself.” “I know you can.”

I helped him to the couch and sat on his lap, we both were crying by now. He walked really well but he had been really upset and tired lately.
“Lila, you are my world, I love you so much it hurts to breathe when we’re apart. I will never love anyone the way I love you. I would die for you, Lila Rae.” “I know you do and would too, Liam. I know, my love.”

“
Choose me please! I’m not going to beg to you but I want you to choose me, you were always mine. He should have never had you.”

“
Liam, don’t you think by me being here, I’ve already made my decision and have chosen you. I have waited for you to come back to me for two years. You aren’t getting rid of me that easily.” He started crying and picked me up and carried me to the bed. He made me his all over again.

I was making breakfast and my phone started beeping, I prayed it wasn
’t Evan. I looked and it was my mom. “Mom, is everything all right? Yes, he is here. Okay, I will.” “Liam, my mom said it’s an emergency. We have to go.” I have no clue what’s going on, my mother was frantic. We pulled up to the hospital and all the memories from the day Addison died came flooding back to me. I froze. I couldn’t walk through the doors.

“
Lila baby, come on, you have to find out what is going on.” “I can’t, Liam, I don’t want to lose anyone else.” “Come on, beautiful, I will be here with you.” We walked in the door and I saw my mom fall into my uncle Kes’ arms. As the doctor was speaking, Eric came over to Liam and me and just hugged me tighter than anyone has ever hugged me. “Dad is gone, Lila.” I just froze. I couldn’t breathe, I just wanted to fall. “Lila, breathe baby, breathe.” It was Liam, I was now in his arms and I could see Uncle Kes, Mom, Eric, and some lady staring at me. I stood up and looked at Liam. “Lila honey, you fainted when Eric told you about your dad.” “Is h-h-he really gone?” I whispered. “Lila, I’m sorry, but yes he is. He had a heart attack.” I walked over to my mom and hugged her as we both cried. I could tell the other woman was crying and upset, but who was she? I looked at her and back at my mom.

“
Oh God honey, it will be out anyway so I better tell you. Come sit down.” I walked with my mother but I grabbed Liam’s hand to have him follow me. “Mom, what is going on?” “Lila, your father was having an affair.” I cupped my hand over my mouth and let out a scream. My daddy would never do that to my mom, they loved each other so much. They were the perfect couple. All of my friends loved how sweet my parents were to each other. Liam squeezed my hand tight as I tried to speak, by now Eric was on the other side of me. “Mom, did you know?” “I had my suspicions but I never knew for a fact. Then the hospital called me and said he was here, I thought he was at work, but he was with her.” I looked at the sadness in my mother’s eyes, then I looked at that horrible woman who had been sleeping with my father. I walked over to her. Eric and Liam followed me. “I’m Lila Rae, Ray’s daughter and you are?” “Lillian Trevors. I’m sorry for your loss, Lila.” I stared at her as hard as I could. “Did you know he was married?” I asked. “Ye-yes I did Lila, we worked together.” I don’t know what came over me but I dropped Liam’s hand and smacked the home wrecking whore.

“
Lila, that’s enough. Come on,” said Liam. I can’t believe my father had been having an affair. We left the hospital and went back to my parents’ house. I was so numb, I was more pissed off than sad at the moment. “Mom, why didn’t you ever say anything?” “I didn’t want to bother you kids with our problems. But he had all the right to, I cheated on your father years ago. I told him about it and I knew that someday karma would bite me in the ass. I knew that Lillian had flirted with him for years.

I just never thought he would take her up on her offers. I saw them at the mall a couple months ago. I spoke with Nancy, she saw your father leaving the Marriott a couple weeks ago with Lillian. I never told your father that I knew. Then this morning he seemed fine and said he was going in early. About three hours later the hospital called me and when I got there she and your uncle Kes were there.
” “So Uncle Kes knew?” “Oh sweetie I’m sure he did, he and your father were best friends.”

I can
’t believe all this is happening. First Liam missing, then Addison and her baby were killed and now my dad having an affair and dying while with that woman.

Liam is being so supportive and I
’m so glad he’s here, but a part of me needed Evan. I needed his embrace, his touch, and his smell. I’ve been thinking about him all day. I called Nikki and she and Brody were coming to my father’s memorial. I wish in a way Evan could be here.

I
’d never seen so many people in a church. I think every police personnel and FBI in California were there. Everyone gave their condolences and said so many great things about my father. He was an amazing man, I never thought in a million years he would cheat on my mom.

At the graveside, I thought I saw Evan.
“Nikki, you said Evan was in New York still, didn’t you?” “Yes Lila, only Brody came.” I looked around the corner and it was him. “Holy crap Lila, I didn’t know he would show up,” said Nikki. “I have to go talk to him, Nik. I can’t ignore him.” “Liam baby, please don’t get upset but I see Evan over there and I have to go talk to him. Please stay here.” Liam looked Evan dead in his eyes. He then kissed me and let my hand go. “Hurry back, Lila.” “Thanks Liam.”

“
Evan, what are you doing here?” “Lila, I heard about your father and I had to see you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Can I please give you a hug?” “Of course you can, Evan.” He leaned in and grabbed me and hugged me with so much love. Damn I missed him so fucking bad. He held me for several minutes, I knew Liam was probably watching. “Thank you for coming, Evan.”

“
I told you I would do anything for you, darlin’. I miss you so much.” “Me too, Evan.” He just gave me a look, kind of a disgusted look but then again it was probably a look wondering why. If I missed him why was I with another man?

Liam, Nikki, and Brody walked over to where we were standing.
“Everything okay, beautiful?” asked Liam. “Yes, Evan wanted to give me his condolences.” Evan reached his hand out to Liam to shake it. “Liam, glad to know Lila has you here with her in her time of need.” “Lila will always have me, Evan.” “Evan, we’re all going back to the house, why don’t you join us?” I asked. I knew I shouldn’t have but I needed him here just as much as I needed the others. Liam just looked at me and said, “Let’s go.”

Once we were back at my mom
’s, everyone shared stories and looked at pictures. There were pictures of my dad with everyone, even Evan and Brody from when they went fishing a few months back.

“
Lila, I can’t believe you invited him here.” said Liam. “Liam, he is my friend. Although I came back to you, I will always have a place in my heart for Evan. My father loved you and wanted me to be with you. But he also liked Evan. Now if you will excuse me I need to talk with my guests.”

Oh my god I am so stupid, Liam is right. How I could invite him over? I guess it wasn
’t as bad as the home wrecker at my father’s funeral. I thought my mom was going to strangle her. “Lila sweetie, are you okay?” “Oh god Nik, I’m such an idiot.” I started crying.

“
Oh no Li, you’re not. I take it Liam wasn’t happy about Evan?” “You know he wasn’t.” Evan walked over and put his hand in the small of my back. “Lila, I’m going to go now, again I’m so sorry for your loss, darlin’. Please call me if you need anything.” “Wait Evan, come with me please.” I got looks from Nikki, Liam, and Brody. But I wanted a few minutes alone with him. We walked out to the guesthouse where it was quiet. “Evan, I just needed to be alone with you for a minute, please just hold me in your arms.” He placed his hands in the small of my back and pulled me in for one of his warm hugs. “Lila, I’m sorry for everything you have been through the last couple months. I know after losing Addison you were devastated and now your dad. Is there anything I can do to help you get through this?” “Thanks Evan, you’re doing it now. Just you holding me means more to me than you will ever know.” He leaned over and placed his lips to my forehead. “I love you and miss you so much, Lila. I should get going.” It felt like our last night all over again, I was losing him again. “Thank You, Evan. I love you and I miss you more than you can imagine.” I knew I shouldn’t but I leaned up on my tip toes and brushed his lips with mine. He pulled back and gave me a hurt and confused look. He then pulled me in tighter and kissed my lips, I parted his lips with my tongue, as I did he let out a little moan. We kissed with so much passion. Finally, I pulled away. I couldn’t take anymore, I wanted him so bad. His breathing was rapid and he kissed my head and said, “It isn’t goodbye, I will see you later.” “Evan, wait.” I grabbed him and started kissing him, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I looked him in his eyes. “I need you now, Evan, please don’t tell me no. Please I need to feel your love.” I knew it was wrong and he would do it because I wanted him to. I unzipped his pants and he pulled my dress up and pushed my panties to the side. Then guided himself into my wet opening. “Oh God, Evan, I love you so much. I know this isn’t right but I need you so bad, baby.” “Lila, I love you and this is breaking my heart. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to be inside of you.” Each time he pushed up, I would push down. We came together for the last time. I slid my body back down to the floor and kissed Evan as I wiped his tears. “Evan, I will always love you.” I kissed his heart and walked away. I walked back into the house like nothing had never happened. I found Nikki and took her in the bathroom with me. “Lila, everything okay?” I was sobbing and couldn’t speak. “Nik, I uh…I, uh…I love Evan.” “Oh Li, doll. You didn’t, did you?” I just nodded my head up and down. She sat down on the side of the bathtub and pulled me on her lap. She cradled me like a baby as I cried in her arms. “Li, we will get through all of this. I’m staying a week or so, I can’t leave you like this, not now.” “Nik, how could I do this? I’m no better than that woman that was sleeping with my dad.” “Oh Li sweets, you are not like that woman. I know you are confused and love both of them.”