Embracing Us (Embracing Series) (4 page)

“Lila, can you please answer these questions, I’m going to ask you?” He
says as he gets into the floor in between my knees, wrapping his arms around me.

“Yes
, I can answer whatever you want Liam.” I say as I run my hand down his cheek. I know exactly what he is going to ask and I’m not so sure if I want to answer but I have to, I’m the one that fucked everything up.

“Lila, look at me love. Did you have sex with Evan the day of your father’s memorial?”
he asks as he holds my hand. I go let out sigh and a sob escapes my throat. I’m trying to hold it back but it’s not staying in.

“Ye
…Yes, Liam, I did.” I say.  He closes his eyes and squeezes my hands even tighter. He brings both hands to his mouth and kisses them.

“Okay, now answer this, did you have sex with Evan when you were in NYC? If you say yes
, please tell me you used protection?” He says as he sits back beside me on the couch. Oh God, I have to tell him the truth.

“Yes, I slept with him in NYC
. No, we didn’t use protection. We had sex twice that weekend. Liam, please look at me. I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you.” I cry, he stands up and walks out on the boardwalk. I don’t know if I should follow, or if I should just sit here and wait for him to come back inside.

“
Fuck, why the hell do you keep running to him?” I hear him yell. Then he turns to face me and starts walking back inside with his fists clinched together. He has never hurt me, but right now I’m terrified. I take an extra pillow and hold the two pillows as close to me as I can.

“So tell me Lila, when else did you go off fucking Evan. Hmm,
are the girl’s even mine? You apparently don’t know what a goddamn condom is, and neither does he.” He says as he stands next to the kitchen counter.

“Ju
…just the times you know about, in NYC when I packed my belongings to move back home, my father’s memorial, and this year. And, yes, the girls are yours. How can you ask me that Liam? I hadn’t seen or talked to him in months when I got pregnant with them.” I cry out as I can see him getting angrier. I can’t hold back the sobs as the tears started pouring form my eyes.

“Jesus Li, every goddamn time was unprotected?”
he asks as I just cry. How could I’ve be so fucking stupid? “Fucking. Answer. My. Question.” He yells as he punches the counter. I know he is pissed, I can see the veins in his neck bulging out.

“Yes
, every time was unprotected. I slept Evan four times since you’ve been back. I’m sorry, Liam, please… Please, baby, forgive me.” I whisper. I run to him and grab him around his waist. He pulls away from me and pounds his hand on the counter again.

“Are you just fucking him to fuck him? Because you want him? You want to hurt me? What the hell is it? I never imagined you would do this to me
, to us, Lila. Baby bean might be his. There is no goddamn way he is going to destroy us or our family. Do you understand me? No fucking way, Lila Rae. This baby is mine, you hear me? It’s mine, and you’re mine. I’ll be goddamn if he will be a part of our child’s life, ever! I’ve known, since I had seen his smug ass at the hospital, that you was with him, and the baby might not be mine. I’ve had months to process this. I was so fucking mad at you. You were lying in that hospital bed for two fucking months and all I could think about is there is a possibility the baby inside you might not be mine. I’m trying really hard to stay calm, because I don’t want to cause you or the baby any stress.” He says as he grabs and hugs me.

“Liam, I’m so sorry…
I don’t know why I needed him all those times. I love him, but not like I do you.” I say as I wrap my arms around him tighter.

“I know baby, I know. I hate that you
were with him while we’ve been together, but I can’t help but to love you. Look at me, promise me that you will never do this again.”

“I won’t
, Liam, I promise. We have our lives and he has his.” I just look into his eyes and promise him I wouldn’t have anything to do with a man I used to be in love with. Hell, I still have love for him. I can’t just turn my feelings off for Evan, I won’t see or talk to him again. I won’t betray Liam again.

We
spend the rest of the night holding each other and talking. We didn’t make love, his arms are my comfort. Without him and my girls, I’m nothing, and I just about lost my life with him. I can’t lose him, and this baby can’t be Evan’s. It will change everything.

I love my job, but
days like this make me wish I would’ve taken more time off. We got back late last night, then both girls slept in our bed. I woke up late so, therefore, I am running late. I spilt decaf coffee down my blouse. Once I reach the office, my coworker and friend, Megan, is in my office with a new blouse and my files, I need for court. I’ve been working on and divorce case for a very wealthy client, she and her husband were very well known, and I was shocked when she asked me to represent her.

“Megan, doll
, you are a damn life saver. Liam doesn’t want me drinking caffeine, and oh God, do I need it. I can’t function, I keep telling myself five months. Then the damn alarm, didn’t go off this morning. Maddison couldn’t find her favorite giraffe. Addison’s dress wasn’t the color she wanted to wear. Liam, had to go into the office early and Rosa, was just a life saver as always. You know if it isn’t one thing it’s another.”

“Just take a deep breath, sounds like the romantic weekend was longer than expected? I’m going to court with ya lady, I got your back. Now hurry before you are even later.”

“Yes, very long, but sweet. My husband is perfect. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

“Yeah, we know. They broke the mold when they made that man, his body is well.”

“Bitch, quit drooling over my husband. Let’s go, then lunch?”

“Whatever you want
, preggers.” She says as she smacks my ass. We ride to the courthouse together. I would like to tell Megan about what’s going on, but I decide to wait a while.

Of course, on the way to the courthouse, there
is a damn train. There are always trains in this area, but lately they have been awful. I normally leave an hour or so early, just in case. But today is just one of the days, where you want to just crawl back in the bed.

It’s been a month since
Lila, has admitted everything to me, God it hurt me so fuckingbad
.
We stayed at the resort for another day. Just talking and trying to figure out what we are going to do about baby bean. She is five months, and showing, we couldn’t keep it from everyone any longer. We told the girls and the rest of the family. Still not sure, if Brody will run back and tell Evan. Unfortunately we will have to see him at the wedding. It’s customary for the Best Man and the Matron of Honor to walk hand in arm together. I’m not comfortable with this at all.

We have an appointment
with the doctor today, we’re going to ask how the DNA testing works. I pray to God every day that my baby bean doesn’t have Evan’s blood running through his or her veins.

“Hey beautiful, you ready to see if baby bean is a boy or a girl?” I
say as I pull my wife in for a hug. She is even more beautiful when she is pregnant, she has a glow that takes your breath away. The way her body looks; her curves now curvier, and her breasts and ass are fuller.

“I’m so ready, I hope that they can tell today. If not,
I’ll be really crushed. We need to start getting the nursery ready and mom wants to start planning a baby shower, ever since I told her that’s all she talks about. I know she is going to drive me crazy with the plans.”

“I know, my mom has already asked about it
, too. I honestly think they had me on three way but didn’t let me know what they were up too. The two together are very dangerous.”

“Oh stop it
, Liam. I’m glad our mothers have become best friends, I know my mom loves hanging out with her and they love taking the girls shopping. They remind me of Addison and me.” She says, as I see a tear roll down her cheek.

“Hey
, no tears. We will stop by and tell Ads baby bean’s gender as soon as we find out, okay?” I say as I pull her into me. I miss Addison so much, I can only imagine how Lila misses her, although it’s been going on five years, it still hurts as bad as it did the day I found out.

“Thank you babe, I would like that
. I need to stop off and get her a Vanilla Bean Frappe from Starbucks. I always take one when I go there, you know that was her favorite. For the longest time, I couldn’t drink them after she died. But, then I thought, every time I have one it will be for her. That was our thing; shopping and Starbucks, and movies.”

“I know love, you two were inseparable
. Although, I know you love Nikki and she is your best friend, I know that you won’t feel a bond like you had with Addison. You know she knew about our first night together, I didn’t even have to tell her. She knew as soon as she saw me. I just laughed at her. Hell, she knew I was madly in love with you.”

We arrive at Dr. Brewster’s
office a little early. This wasn’t the same OB we saw when Lila was pregnant with the girls. This office was closer and we’ve heard nothing but great things about the doctor and nurses here. We walk in and in hand. Lila checks in and they have her to start filling out paperwork, they don’t use pen and paper anymore, each patient uses a laptop to fill everything out. Seems neat enough, but I bet a pain in the ass if the computers go down.

I
can tell Lila was crying, but I’m not sure what was wrong. She had big huge tears streaming down her cheeks. She looks up at me and says, “They are asking questions about the father.”

I
take it from her, and place one hand on hers and use the other to fill out my information on the forms. I use the best of my knowledge to answer all the questions with my family history. This baby is mine, even if that goddamn test says otherwise. I fill everything, and hand the laptop back to her to finish the rest.

“Thank you Liam, I
…umm…I’m sorry that, I did this to you…us. I love you more than anything you know that right?” she says as she lays her head on my shoulder. She finishes the electronic form and I takes it to the receptionist, once Li hands it to her, she sent us in another room. 

“Lila Carls-Ellis, my name is Brandy and I will be your medical assistant today, if you will follow me. I will need to take your vitals, and get your height and weight as well as a urine sample.”

I just sit there running my hands through my hair. I have so much shit going through my mind, hell I can’t even think straight. No one else knows that I might not be the father. I think Ashton knows something because he and I have been pretty close since I came home from the Army. He started to ask me questions last week when I told him we were expecting, but then he just congratulated me. He has his own problems to worry about.

She
walks back into the room, the medical assistant asks her to undress and put a paper gown on when she steps out. I can tell she is as nervous as I am. But I need to let her know that I’m here for her. I sit in the chair next to the bed, and star rubbing her stomach. She still has tears in her eyes, she touches my hand as I run it up and down her baby bump.

“Look at me beautiful, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I will always be here, never doubt that
, Lila. You hear me, let me know you understand.” She gives me a nod, and takes a deep breathe. “Mine. You, the baby bean, and the girls are all mine.” I growl.

She let
s out a small gasp and says, “Thank you, for loving me even though I fucked everything up.” I kiss her forehead and hand her a couple tissues. Just as we start getting comfortable, Brandy walks back in the room. She puts a monitor on Lila’s belly and a smile spreads across all three of our faces.

“Well Mr. and Mrs. Ellis that is a strong sounding heartbeat the baby has. Are the two of you ready to see the baby? Do you want to know the sex today? This will be the last ultra sound we do.”

“Yes, ma’am we are ready, and we would like to know the gender.” Lila says as she looks at me and smiles. The nurse squirts jelly on Lila’s stomach and then runs a wand over it while she pushes buttons on a keyboard. I hold on to L’s hand and we both notice the beautiful baby on the screen, it’s no longer a bean.

“Well, someone is surely big and healthy. If you look here you can see he has his thumb in his mouth, and you see here. H
e is definitely a boy.” She says as she looks over at the two of us who are now both in tears.

“Baby, we’re having a boy. You see that, the girls are going to be so happy.” I
say as I kiss Lila, I can see that she’s as happy as I am, but I can also see that she’s so unsure about everything. I bend down and whisper in her ear, “It’s okay, he is ours. He is an Ellis, no matter what.”

“Thank you
, Liam,” is all she got out before she starts crying. The nurse hands us some tissues, she wipes Lila’s stomach off and says the doctor would be in shortly, to talk to us about everything.

We just
sit there hugging each other, we’re having a boy. I have to regroup my thoughts about everything I want to ask Dr. Brewster. A young woman walked in the room, she doesn’t look old enough to be a doctor though. She looks through the electronic thingy and looks over at my wife and me.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Tanil
l Brewster. Looks like we have a healthy baby boy here.” She says as she shakes both of our hands. “Do you guys, have any questions or concerns that you would like to discuss with me today?”

I
can feel Lila shaking, next to me. I place my hand on her shoulder and then pull her closer to me. She looks down at me and I shake my head. I clear my throat and look at the doctor and say words I wish I would have never have to say, “I have some questions, is there a way to perform a DNA test to determine the baby’s paternity? His father may be another man, but we want to be sure before we mention this to him.”

“Yes
, there is a test that we can administer. Lila is far enough along that we would be able to determine paternity. If you don’t want to know now, we can also perform the test after the baby is born. It would be up to you to decide if and when you want the test performed. How we would perform the test now? We would take a sample of the placenta, this would be no harm to the baby or Lila what so ever, but there is a slight chance of a miscarriage. This test is what we perform to check for hereditary diseases that can affect the fetus.

“
We would then send the sample to the lab, along with a swab from the potential father’s cheek to determine if the DNA matches. This test is used often with a high rate of success, just to ease your mind, we can perform it today, or you can talk about it and make an appointment.  If you wait until after the baby is born, we would of course do a swab test on the baby as well as the father in question. Do you have any questions about these test?”

“If we did the cell sample, it wouldn’t hurt the baby at all
, just the slight chance of a miscarriage?” I ask, although Dr. Brewster has already says it is slight, I would like to hear the answer again. Lila sits there staring at me, I don’t know if she isn’t comprehending or what is going through her head. I just squeeze her hand letting her know that I’m still on her side, it’s her decision not mine.

“Lila, do you have any questions that you would like answered, before you make any
decisions?” Dr. Brewster asks her. She walks over to Lila, and takes her hand in hers. And says, “There is nothing to worry about, this is normal. This happens to a lot of families. I don’t know the entire circumstances, but I can only go off of what I see here. I see that your husband loves you and is willing to do whatever it is you want to do. Take my card, call me anytime you have more questions. Day or not, I will answer as soon as I’m able.”

“Th…Thank you
doctor. I will talk everything over with my husband and make a choice. Is that okay?”

“Perfectly fine with
me, if you remember any questions call me; day or night. If I don’t answer, my service will, and I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.”

“Thank you Dr. Brewster we really appreciate all of your help.” I say as I shake the young doctor’s hand. She leaves and Lila
dresses, and then we head to Starbucks.