Emerald Eyes (42 page)

“Katya! Calm down! You’ll rip your I.V. out!” Papa begs me with a worried voice.

A warm hand cups my tearstained cheek.

“Open your eyes.” Dr. Banner asks with a calm voice.

I breathe shallowly and open them, still shaking, looking into a pitch-black world.

“Her pupils are responsive. That’s good. Page Dr.
Whales please.” Dr. Banner says to someone in the room. His warm hand leaves my cheek and I shiver harder.

“How could this happen? How…?” I mumble frantically.

“Katya… baby, please…” mama cries and squeezes my hand.

I start crying again. I can’t believe this.
 

No… how could this happen? I was just in a car accident, with minor injuries! No, no!

I will never be able to see again…

I wail with heart wrenching cries. My emerald eyes will never see again, they will be just a decorative feature in my face. They won’t show me the sunsets and sunrises, the snow and the sand, the bloom of flowers. They won’t show me the people I love, my parents, Laura… oh Laura…

Mama takes me in her arms and holds me close, kissing my hair repeatedly, rocking me back and forth, like I’m a small child.

“Shh… Shh… dochinka moya (my babygirl), don’t cry. We don’t know anything yet. We cry if we know it’s bad, ok? But not now, now you need to take deep breaths and calm down. Do you want them to give you something to go to sleep?” she whispers softly into my hair.

I shake my head, “No… no…”
 

“Katya, Dr. Whales is here.” Papa says.

Mama wipes my cheeks and kisses my forehead.

“Everything will be ok. Relax.” She whispers and lets me go.

“Hi, Katherine. I’m sorry to hear you were in a car accident. How are you feeling?” Dr. Whales asks me and I notice his voice is rich and bass.
 

Funny… the things you notice when you can’t see.

“I… I just don’t understand. How could this happen? I thought I had minor injuries...” I sob softly and cover my mouth.

“We’re not sure what happened Katherine, but we’re going to send you for an MRI scan. We’re going to check if your optic nerves are intact, and if there is any damage to the optic chiasm, the part that receives the images your eyes are seeing, and then send the information to the brain. This might be salvable, so don’t despair.” His voice calms me a fraction.

I nod solemnly.

“Dr. Slavsky, the police are here. They want to speak to Katherine.” A young woman says.

Probably a nurse…

“The police? Why?” I panic.

Did I hurt someone? Oh my God… did I kill someone?

“I’m sure they just want your statement, nothing more. Don’t worry about them Katya, I’ll deal with them, you go and do your MRI.” Papa says and I hear his footsteps receding.

“Are you ready?” Dr. Whales asks me.

I inhale a shaky breath and nervously say, “Yes.”

A nurse named, Ruth and physician assistant named, Rich introduce themselves to me, then help me to a wheelchair and wheel me out.

“Katherine!” Eric’s desperate voice calls out my name from behind me.
 

The air halts in my throat, I can’t breath. My heart triples its speed and I bite my lower lip to push back the new wave of sobs that is lodged in my throat.
 

“Mama, keep him… away from me. Don’t… let him near me.” I whisper brokenly to mama.
 

Mama says something to Kirill, her driver, and I hear Eric arguing with him, causing a scene.

“Ruth, please stop.” I ask the nurse and we stop moving.

“Eric.” I say his name loud and clear and hear everyone quiet down.

When it’s silent enough to hear a pin drop, I somehow find strength to speak.

“I don’t want to see you anymore. We’re done.” I keep my voice strong but my heart squeezes painfully, so tightly, I quietly whimper in agony.
 

Ironic isn’t it? Even if I wanted to see him now… I wouldn’t have been able to.

“Katherine, please!” I hear Eric’s voice crack in torment.

Kirill manages to hold Eric back from us I think, because I hear Eric growling at him, “Let me go. I need to see her! Let me go!”
 

“Please take me to the MRI.” I whisper with a shaky voice.

The nurse pushes me away from my room and away from Eric. Mama takes my hand and we weave our fingers together, holding on tightly. I feel the anxiety radiating from her and I’m sure I’m projecting much more than just anxiety. My heart thunders in my chest as we make our way to the radiology department.
 

My physical pain is managed by the medication I’m receiving through the I.V. but my emotional pain is overflowing. Not being able to see anything to distract myself keeps bringing me back to the sight of Eric and Eliza kissing, breaking my heart all over again, like a damn broken record.

When that gets old, my brain shows me the approaching front bumper of the truck, shooting towards me and colliding with my car. I keep trying to think about something else, something that won’t hurt me so terribly and all I come up with is the terror inside me.

Is it permanent? Is it fixable? Will they be able to fix it? Did I hurt someone? Did I kill someone? Did Eric ever love me?

The questions bombard my brain and I begin to sob softly, seized with fear of the unknown. With my mind caught between two evils, I clutch mama’s hand tighter and let the tears fall, letting them wash my agony away, or at least that is what I hope they’re doing. Soon enough I will find out if I will return to the world of light, or stay forever in darkness.

End of Part One