Emily Greenwood (20 page)

James knew he was completely lost to gentlemanly impulses. Actually, he should have known better than to even have kissed her at all, now, in the middle of his bedchamber, in the middle of the night. After the exquisite torture of Felicity tied to the bedpost.

He tossed her onto the bed, and she propped herself up on her elbows, managing to look waiflike and sensuous at the same time in her tatty chemise. The chemise would have to go immediately, and he never wanted to see the unworthy thing on her again. Blood was rushing through his veins, pounding in his ears with passion, and he dropped onto the bed next to her and pulled off his gaping shirt.

Her eyes grew wide, though she did not exactly look fearful. He grinned. Her lips looked happily full with kissing, her eyes dark with desire as she gazed at him.

“Um,” she whispered, “is this a good idea?”

Whatever gentlemanly part of him might have asserted that no, it was not a good idea to tumble his secretly engaged fiancée in his bedroom with a house full of guests was not speaking loudly enough to be heard above the rushings and yearnings of his body. His only answer was a passionate kiss that pressed his naked chest against her chemise and let him feel her firm nipples veiled by the cloth.

Enough of the cloth! He leaned away and grabbed it where it was gathered, just below her bottom, and briskly worked it upward, pausing when he got it below her breasts. Her slim, pale legs and beautifully rounded hips were exposed, and he was harder that he could ever remember being. He looked at her face and reached for a modicum of sanity.

“Felicity, sweet Lis, do you want to do this?”

Leaning back languorously on her elbows, her lower half bared and the roundness of her breasts well suggested by her thin chemise, Felicity looked to him like some Italian painter’s ideal of the goddess of pleasure. Innocent as any man could want, sensuous as any man could desire. Her head rolled slowly to the side and her lips parted, and a bolt of desire shot home.

“Mmm,” she said, her breathing shaky, her eyes closing, “we are to be married. Must be all right.”

“Right!” he gasped, and worked the chemise under her arms. She fell against the bed and he tugged the gown the rest of the way off her relaxed arms and gazed at her, drinking her in. Surely she
was
some sort of goddess. She had him completely under her spell.

Through her lowered eyelashes Felicity watched James push off his pants and caught her breath at the startling male item before her eyes. He grinned and came toward the bed.

He lay down next to her, propped up on his elbow, his nude body warm and so much harder and larger than her own. She reached out in wonder to trail her fingers along his upper arm, and saw the muscles flex as, with a wicked smile that created tiny wrinkles at the corners of his brown eyes, he captured her fingers and kissed them.

He proceeded, kissing, along the back of her hand, down her wrist and along her forearm, every press of his lips against her heightening her senses more. He kissed her breast lavishly and captured her nipple in his mouth, so fully hot and wet now without the cloth between them.

“Oh, James, that’s…”

“Really good?” He sucked her gently. Made her whimper. “Amazingly good?”

He moved to the other breast. “What you always needed but didn’t know?”

She laughed a little, a low, moaning sound. “Heaven.”

“Almost,” he murmured. “Just wait.”

She pushed her fingers through the hair above his ears in a way that was half need and half blessing. He slid his hands down along her body, tracing the width of her naked hip, cupping his hands around her bottom.

She ran her hands over his chest, loving the leashed strength of his taut muscles. Her hands wandered farther down, to touch him tentatively where he was so hard.

His breath caught and, with a shy smile of feminine satisfaction, she explored him with her fingertips, lightly because she didn’t know how it felt for him, whether a stronger touch might hurt him. He groaned and fell back against the mattress and allowed her to stroke him for what seemed like a very short amount of time before his hand captured hers.

“If you do that one second longer,” he ground out, but didn’t finish. Instead, he pushed her gently back to the mattress and came up over her. He ran his hand along the tops of her thighs before slipping it between her legs. She let her legs fall apart, and he stroked lightly upward along the tender flesh of her inner thighs. She shivered as she felt the confidence in his fingers as they worked upward to touch her in that secret place where she was now… wet. She might have felt embarrassed, but he moved surely against her there, rubbing her tenderly but confidently in a way that told her he expected this, wanted it this way—and that made her delirious with pleasure.

Both of them were breathing raggedly, the sounds deeply intimate in the quiet room. A breeze gusted in from the open window, its cool freshness playing along their heated skin. He brought his leg across hers, and the hairs that covered it brushed, lightly rough, against her. Pushing his leg between her thighs, he gently nudged them farther apart. She relaxed and let him settle himself between them.

She was breathless with desire that was like a tangible substance she’d inhaled, which was now rushing and curling along inside her, winding her up and unfurling her at the same time so that she wanted to lay herself open to James’s whims.

He paused at her entrance. His face was above hers, his eyes gazing into hers.

“Are you sure?” His voice was raspy.

“Yes,” she said, her own voice little more than a groan.

He moved against her but did not enter, driving her pleasure higher without going any further to releasing her.

“Truly sure?” he asked, but this time she knew he was merely teasing her. His erection played against her swollen flesh, deepening the ache in her almost unbearably.

“Yes, please. James.”

He closed his eyes and with one firm thrust, plunged into her.

He stretched her astonishingly. She was impossibly filled with him, and it was as if she had never before had an experience like this. Anything that had happened to her in the past was nothing. She’d never felt before what she was feeling now with him. He began a slow, exquisite rhythm, and with that any lingering memories she had of another time diminished into wisps and floated away.

He plunged deeper and rubbed against her inside, winding her up, taking her with him, up, higher and higher until a burst of exquisite pleasure finally released within her. It
was
heaven, a little piece of heaven here on earth.

The twisted-up feeling unfurled slowly and deliciously, like filling her body with liquid pleasure. She heard his deep groan of release and his body went slack atop her.

Her arms had twined about his back, and she hugged him to herself. His whiskers tickled her cheek and she sighed, her lips creeping up in a smile silly with love. She was grateful for the darkness.

They clung together for quiet minutes, she, at least, listening to the intimate sound of their breathing in the still room. After a time she realized he was drowsing against her. She’d never known such happiness.

Someone was shaking her awake.

“Felicity? Lis? O Felicitania, Queen of the Fairies.”

Astonishingly, it was James’s voice she heard. And then she was awake and she remembered, and smiled.

His voice near her ear grew quietly urgent. “We’ve got to get you out of here, sweet. It’s past four and the servants will be up soon.”

She blinked, feeling the newness of lying naked with him in a bed in what used to be her family home. And soon would be again! she suddenly realized, now that she was to marry him.

She realized in that moment what had not sunk in hours earlier: she had won Tethering back after all!

Though, amusing to think of it now, it had certainly happened in a way she would never have imagined. She smiled at the thought and turned on her side, the already pushed-down sheet sliding from her belly so that it draped part of the rise of her hips, and she was happily uncaring to be almost naked because James had so clearly enjoyed her body. He was looking at her now, a lingering glance at her body and then her face, his expression mysterious in the predawn light.

James thought that Felicity could not have been more beautiful then, tangled in the sheets, giving him a guileless, sweet smile such as he’d wanted to see directed at him again since their first meeting by the stream. Her body was pale and fresh in the gathering summer light, and he was honored by the trust she’d placed in him. He seemed truly to have won some victory with her, and he now felt powerfully that he never wanted to disappoint her.

She reached out a hand and touched his cheek gently, her hazel eyes sparkling. “Mmm. I feel dreamy.”

He rolled his eyes at her and couldn’t keep his lips from turning up. Felicity after lovemaking was bewitching. “Well, you’ll have a rude awakening to reality if we don’t get you out of here soon. Never mind Lila—Miranda and Josephine would make a hideous fuss. They’re both very rigid on the subject of young ladies being married before they find themselves in the beds of gentlemen.”

He sat up and tugged at her lax arm, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her upward. Once he had succeeded, she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head of mussed and curling silk against his collarbone.

“It feels freeing to admit that I quite like you, James Collington. Lovely Annabelle was getting to be such a desperate burden. Especially when what I really wanted was to be happy with you. Happy like we were that first time we met by the stream.” Her soft lips pressed a precise kiss against his skin.

Well, he thought with delighted amazement at her pliancy, she was more than a little taken with him. Good, very good. He congratulated himself. Marrying Felicity was the best idea he’d had in a long time.

A small, niggling voice reminded him that she would certainly be very angry when she discovered that Tethering was to be sold. But there was no need to tell her now, when she was so happy with him. She was so delightful, so sweet, and his entirely now, save in name, which would come in only a short time. The marriage must be as soon as possible. That way, no matter how angry she was with him about Tethering, she would have to get over it at some point.

From the darkness of the house, the chime of a grandfather clock sounded the quarter hour.

“You must go,” he said, standing up and bending to get his shirt and breeches, which had been tossed on the floor hours ago. “We’ll go back the way you came—we can’t risk someone finding you in the hall.”

Felicity got off the bed to root around for her chemise and dressing gown, which were both in lumps on the floor, and she smiled to herself as she sensed James’s eyes on her bare backside. She truly would look ridiculous if anyone saw her about in these private clothes, she thought as she did up the buttons on the now very wrinkled dressing gown.

“You needn’t come,” she said as she turned toward the wardrobe, whose door still stood open. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

“I’m coming with you,” he said firmly, following her to the cabinet from which she had emerged that night.

She paused in front of the door and turned to him, her head cocked. “What were you doing in here, anyway? Aren’t you staying in the master bedroom?”

“Foiled your plans, didn’t I?” he chuckled with satisfaction. “At first I was in the master bedroom, but it needed painting. I haven’t moved back yet.” He looked at her shrewdly. “And a good thing too, else how would I have found out about this secret passage?”

He stretched beyond her to peek into the wardrobe.

“You can’t know,” she said firmly, standing with her arms wide to block his view of the opening beyond the clothes. “It’s been a closely kept secret for years.”

He put a hand on either side of her waist, carefully picked her up and, ignoring her muffled squawk of outrage, moved her to the side. “Ah, but now that I am going to be part of the family, what better initiation than a trip along the secret passageway?”

And with that, he climbed into the wardrobe and disappeared, leaving her to follow him. He found his way deftly in the darkness ahead of her, with no need of direction until they emerged in the basement. He chuckled in admiration as she made for the opening in the wall that led to the outward passage.

“There are
two
secret openings in the wall down here?” he asked in astonishment as he stood behind her while she climbed in.

“Actually,” she replied from inside the tunnel, her voice muffled by the thick surrounding walls, “there are several more.”

James shook his head in amazement and followed behind her to emerge in the garden outside the house. He never would have guessed this was here, though he thought that perhaps he would have found the secret passages if he lived in the house longer. They were probably among the particularities of Tethering that especially pleased Felicity. He would have to see about having something similar installed at Granton Hall. Then the master and his lady could sneak out at night for moonlight escapades. He would make up the loss of Tethering to her. He
would
make her happy.

James took her hand and led her briskly among the cover of the trees. Their bare feet made only small sounds against the twigs and leaves, and in a few minutes they had worked their way around to the back door near the dower house garden. James pulled her into his arms for a quick kiss, and then she disappeared quietly into the cottage.

***

Felicity managed only an hour or two of sleep after returning to Blossom Cottage, and was out walking at mid-morning when James arrived at Blossom Cottage to seek permission to marry her from Mr. Wilcox. She returned, not long after he departed, to find her father fairly babbling with happiness. Mr. Wilcox gave her an enormous hug and congratulated her several times, and she knew that she too wore a very silly smile.

She went out to the garden after lunch and was trying to focus her mind—which insisted on reminding her that happy though she might be, the marriage held love only on one side—on pruning rose bushes when she heard the sound of an approaching horse. She turned giddily, thinking James must have returned. But it was not James—it was Crispin. Her heart sank at the sight of this good man who had always been a friend to her.

He waved and dismounted. As he came toward her, she knew that he knew nothing yet of how her life had changed overnight. How little did she wish to speak of it with him. But she would not be a coward.

“Crispin,” she greeted him, putting down her shears. “Shall we go and sit in the garden?” She gestured toward the old stone bench that sat at some distance from the house, shaded by a cherry tree.

“Yes, I’d like that,” he said with an air of purpose that made her stomach twist.

As soon as they sat down, he took off his black vicar’s hat and blurted out, “I’ve come to see if you’ve made up your mind.”

“I did say before that I could not accept,” she reminded him gently. Even though he had often been like an older brother to her, today she felt the elder.

“But you’ve thought about it further? I know we would be good together. I would do everything to see that you are happy.”

His words only made what she had to say harder, but it had to be said. “Crispin, I’ve accepted a proposal of marriage from Mr. Collington.”

“What?” His face tightened, his handsome features screwing up. She was so sorry to cause him pain.

“That damned, no-good gambler! That smug bastard. He’s too fast for you—he’s tricked you.”

“No, don’t. He is a good man, regardless of how he came to own Tethering.”

“You said there was nothing between you,” he accused. The anger and hurt in his eyes were hard to face, but he deserved to understand.

“There wasn’t anything between us then—nothing like there is now.”

“How could you have lied to me?” he demanded angrily.

“Stop it, Crispin. You’ve never had a right to know the details of my private life.”

“I blasted well do have that right! I’ve known you almost my whole life. We were meant to be together. Dammit, Felicity, we
have
been together.”

“Crispin, that was one night three years ago. I was grateful then for your comfort, and I still am. We shared a… a connection, affection. But there was no result from it that would have forced us into marriage, and much as I appreciate your gentlemanly impulses,” she said, taking a deep breath before saying hard words, “I have never wanted to be your wife.”

He stilled. His familiar blue eyes grew hooded, and his voice was harsh as he said, “You barely know him. And I don’t believe,” he scoffed, his mouth twisted in a sneer, “that your father has given this his blessing.”

“He has.”

He stood up abruptly, doubtless unaware that he was crushing his hat in one large hand. “Well, then, let’s see if he rescinds it when I tell him just what you’ve been up to.”

“Crispin!” Felicity gasped. “Listen to yourself.”

“You can’t see that Collington’s a scoundrel! I’ll have to—”

“Listen,” she broke in, wishing it hadn’t come to this, “all other considerations aside, we have to marry. Mrs. Pendleton happened upon us in his room last night.”

He stood silent a full minute staring down at her. She held his gaze.

“I see,” he finally said. “You surprise me.” Though his face was twisted in bitterness, he had schooled his voice into neutrality. “I would not have thought,” he began, but stopped, his hand coming up to cover his face, obscuring his eyes. He took it away after a few moments and looked at her, and it was as if he were a different person, or suddenly older.

“I’ll wish you happy then,” he said in that neutral voice.

She stood up even as he turned to leave. “Crispin, wait. Cannot we part friends?”

“No,” he said, not turning around. “I don’t wish to see you for a very long time.”

And with that he strode out of the garden. She slumped back onto the bench and knew a sense of sorrow that their embrace in the garden that night had led to so many consequences. It had left wounds in them both, but the wounds had been washed with salt water now. They were clean, and in time surely they would heal.

***

A note arrived from James after lunch, via Fulton.

Dear
Felicity
. It was all very properly written, a suitable note that any engaged man might write to his fiancée, giving no indication of the passionate night they had spent together. Felicity felt smug at their secret knowledge of each other.

I have just received news of a pressing business matter that must take me to London tomorrow. My aunt and my cousins will be returning then as well, and I invite you to join our party. We will be staying at Sir Robert’s London townhouse, where she and Miranda will be able to act as your companions.

Yours most affectionately,

James

P.S. My cousin Josephine has offered to make some of her own mourning clothes available, should you require something of a different fashion for Town.

London. She leaned back against the hallway wall and stared into space while Fulton awaited her response. Well, why not? She had not thought to go there. But now that a visit was offered in the company of James, the city beckoned like a gift waiting to be unwrapped.

Yes, she would join the party with pleasure, she scribbled back in a note for Fulton to take, and gratefully accepted Lady Dunlop’s tactful offer of mourning clothes. Felicity had only a few weeks left in her mourning term, and she was heartily sick of her drab, self-dyed attire.

Fulton left with the note and she stood in the doorway, watching him make his way up the hill to Tethering. She was astonished at herself, at the changes that had come over her in so short a time. True, her feelings for James had been growing for some time. What had changed was her acceptance of them.

She and he were to be married, and a whole realm of possibilities was opening before her. She needn’t be at Tethering every moment now—they would share in managing it. And she so wanted, for the first time in years, to get out into the wider world. It was as if a flock of rushing birds that had made a home in her had suddenly been released into the wind.

Closing her eyes, she twirled around once on the doorstep of Blossom Cottage, her heart light and free. Then she went inside to begin packing for London. With a chuckle, she thought she must send a note to Lady Pincheon-Smythe, letting her know that she would not be able to make it to tea after all.

***

James put his pen in the ink pot and sat back in his chair with his hands behind his head, looking out the windows of the Tethering library. He’d had a busy morning of correspondence since receiving word from his London agent that business there required his presence. Additionally, he’d received a note from Dover saying that he would shortly be in Hertfordshire and was hoping to visit the Tethering property, after which, if it was all that James had described, he would be prepared to discuss the terms of sale. James had written him immediately, inviting him to stay in James’s absence.

And then, of course, it had been necessary to make sure that Felicity would be gone while Dover was there. Affairs between them were still too new to reveal his plan of selling Tethering to pay off the debts against Granton Hall, and he wanted her more firmly in his camp before he broke the news to her. So he had written the note inviting her to London, not sure how he would proceed if she chose not to come. Fortunately, she had accepted cheerfully. Not that he liked the idea of misleading her about his plans for Tethering. But really, it was merely an omission rather than a lie.