Enigma (34 page)

I could not be sure if the message was being sent to my heart from another angel, from heaven, or maybe even from Allen, but I knew with every part of my heart and soul that Allen was still okay. I could not make myself form the words to tell Avan what I was feeling verbally, so I just brought him into my own thoughts as I let the tears and a large sigh of relief take the weight from my shoulders.

Understanding from feeling my thoughts, he dropped the sack he had been holding from the little donut shop down the street and embraced me in a hug that I never wanted to end. It had been weeks since I had let him come anywhere near me; now in his arms I realized how much I had truly missed the feeling of them being around me. The way he smelled so clean, pure, masculine, and like his favorite cologne all at the same time always had a way of sending my thoughts and emotions right over the top!

Being this close to him made me relive every moment and thought of how I had felt every time he had walked past me before we had ever officially met. I remembered how my heart always skipped a beat and how I would inhale slowly and deeply, making a mental note of every curve of his face and every fleck of color in his eyes. Yes, this is what I had missed the most over my time of solitude. I missed him. I knew now what it would be like to be without him after being with him every day. Even though he had been there, I had not, and that was a feeling I never wished to feel again. I would not allow anything to come in the way of being able to be this close to Avan ever again.

Returning to Spirits, I fell back into the swing of things as I took orders, had lunch with Lorenzo, and other daily things around the coffee shop. It was a busy Friday, which was excellent in helping my state of mind, but what I loved most about it was how everyone went about business as usual rather than focusing on my breakdown. Lorenzo made one of the most amazing lunches I had ever tasted, and no one asked if I was better or insinuated that I had become a nutcase. Instead, everyone just said how great it was to see me and left it completely alone.

Judging the way that I had to overcome the feelings I had been afflicted by for so long had really given me the mother of all wake-up calls. I now realized the darkness Natasha and my father had referred to that I must overcome would start as being as small as a feeling and I had no idea just how large it could become. If I was unable to depend on my own strength in order to overcome pessimism and darkness within my own mind, how could I ever expect to overcome anything? I must rise above the circumstances surrounding me that had pulled me into the dark, desolate place of loneliness that I came out of by chance alone.

I knew that I would have to get serious about protecting myself and gaining strength to battle whatever evil would be coming for me. It was evident that whatever it would turn out to be, it would be more powerful than I ever expected. I could never give into anything that was from the other side. My eyes opened to the fact that even though I had been born to overcome evil, it was still a choice.

Until now, I knew stories about what I was and how I needed to be careful not to fall into darkness. Now seeing firsthand how deeply it affected me, had I been in the wrong situation, the dark angels could have overtaken me with ease. They had nearly accomplished precisely what they had set out to while I wilted like a flower without water during a drought!

CHAPTER 17

Saturday, the day everyone looked forward to, the day I always tried to avoid was here again. It had been a while since my ordeal with the tendrils of darkness. Now everything was completely back to normal, if you could look past Allen still not being here. I was getting used to the fact that if he needed one of us, he could and would let us know. Angels were definitely strange creatures. Even though I knew I fell into that category as well, I still felt a little awkward claiming the title being a wingless human.

It kind of felt as if I was the new kid on a team of smart students at an academic decathlon accepted to compete nationally. The other kids know you are smart or the teacher would never have let you on the team, but with every question asked all eyes are on you just to make sure you know what you are doing. Then, when you do your thing, everyone stares in amazement. Sometimes it was also like being in a new school and trying out for cheerleading.

The others prayed that you can tumble so they wouldn’t look lame on the field or at competition. I would just be glad when everyone got over the whole idea of my existence, period. I always felt like they were waiting for a magic show or some kind of song and dance. It was not any of my fellow angels around me all the time, but it was the others who lived at Angel Towers who had not gotten to know me.

Avan had been practicing with the group after work more than usual this week for their Saturday night routine, so I had not been able to spend much time with him. I was not sure why, but he had prohibited me from entering his thoughts except for very basic ones over the last week. I knew something was up since the only time he did that was when he was planning something for me. I had no idea what it was, but recalling my birthday, which he all but moved the sun and moon for, I knew it had to be something he was putting a great deal of effort into. I just hoped it would not be something too outrageous.

As I turned the dryer on to finish the load of laundry I had just washed, I heard the front door close, announcing Avan’s arrival.

“How is the most beautiful angel ever created?” he asked, walking around the corner into the hall with something behind his back.

“Well, I don’t know about all that, but this angel is doing awesome today! What is it that you’re hiding there?” I asked, attempting to see what was in his hand but failing due the basket of clean clothes in my hands between us.

“I brought you a little something. I was on my way to see you and saw something that reminded me of you.”

“Oh really? Was it a hobo dressed in sweatpants, unshowered, with its hair in a bun?” I asked as I laughed.

“No ma’am, it was something beautiful, hard to come by, and unique,” he answered as he pulled a dozen lavender roses from behind his back.

Dropping the laundry basket, I could not resist the urge to run into his arms and sink into one of his hugs. Once I brought myself back to reality, I took the beautiful lavender roses and placed the vase on the table next to my bed. I had no idea what I had ever done to be so special that anyone would have created an angel as wonderful as Avan specifically for me. I could not be any more thankful for anything as I was for him. He was the one who held all my broken pieces together and slowly mended them for me at my own pace. Where I was now in comparison to where I was last year was ten thousand times better than I had been before Avan had come into my life. He was the rock I could count on to be steady, no matter how strong of a storm I faced.

“So, I have a request,” Avan said, giving me that partial grin that made me melt as he ran his hand through his dark, voluminous, shiny hair and pushed it away from his face.

“Oh, okay, I get it. There’s a catch to getting roses, huh?”

“No, I brought you roses because you are the most unique, gorgeous, and the most important thing in the world to me! The request would just be an added bonus. I will treat you special through all eternity just because you are you.”

“Oh yeah?” How in the world could I possibly say no to anything he requested after hearing that? Especially knowing it was true.

“Yeah, a bonus I would really enjoy and will ensure you will too,” He said with something in his voice that made me so curious to find out what it was he wanted me to do that I could not stand it.

“Okay, you win! What is it that you want me to do?”

“I want you to come to Spirits tonight for the show. Please?” he asked with his best puppy dogface that I could not resist if I tried.

“I guess I could do that for you, since you are kinda cute when you make that face, but only because you begged,” I said as I gave him a smile and a wink.

“Really? That was easy! Maybe I should beg more often!” He laughed as he gloated.

“Um no, don’t even try it! What should I wear to this shindig so I don’t completely embarrass you?” I laughed.

“Okay, just to clarify, you could never embarrass me regardless of what you ever choose to wear!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“No really. You could come just as you are now and I would still be more that proud that you are mine! Surprise me. You are gorgeous no matter what! In the meantime, I’m gonna head to Spirits and help get things set up, okay?”

With that the conversation ended as he kissed me on the forehead and winked before leaving.

Being an angel, I really should monitor some of the thoughts that went through my mind but considering that I was a mix of my good angel mom, bad angel dad, and somehow being trapped inside of a human body, I still had quite a few human thoughts. At this particular time, I could not stop myself from thinking how good those jeans fit Avan and how amazing that tight white t-shirt he wore looked as I could see the muscle definition just underneath.

The more shocking thing was how I knew Avan heard all my little humanistic, questionable thoughts, and though he was one of the good guys that under most conditions was pure and innocent, he actually liked my little thought processes about him and shared some reciprocal thoughts from time to time as well. We had never actually discussed things, but I figured eventually we would get around to it. As long as I was in a human body without wings to remind me of my angel blood in my veins, I was not completely sure I could keep myself on a leash forever with him, and I knew he felt the same way.

Considering I had never been to any of the Saturday performances, I was clueless as what to wear. Showing up overdressed would make me feel stupid, but I certainly did not want to show up underdressed either. Since it was a public event, I knew I was going to stand out no matter what. Among the non-angelic humans of those in my age range, my reputation, known for being the one girl who was good enough for Avan Rork, was like being famous. Most of the girls who came into Spirits on a regular basis gave me envious looks as they drooled over him.

It did not faze me one bit, considering I knew I had nothing to be jealous of as he never paid attention to any of them, but it was clear they never got the hint. These days I found it humorous to kid Avan when any of them stared. I could not help always joking around, asking him which one he was going to take out on the next Friday night! Every time he would just shake his head, laughing, as he told me to be nice. Either way, I did not want to call any more attention to myself than I would already get for simply being me.

After taking a shower and doing my hair and makeup, I lingered in front of the closet, weighing my outfit options before going with a white button-up shirt with three-quarter sleeves, a short, pleated, blue, plaid skirt, tall boots, and Avan’s leather jacket. It was a cutesy schoolgirl look that said dressy-casual yet young and fun. I topped it off with my charm bracelet, earrings, necklace, and of course my ring that I never took off my left hand.

Once I had everything on, I took another look in the full-length mirror to make sure I was free of any tags hanging out, or weird stuff going on with the collar on my shirt that made me look like a “wanna be” Elvis impersonator. The look was satisfactory, and I did not appear to have any fashion faux pas going on, so I sprayed on a few squirts of my favorite perfume before starting down to the car and heading for Spirits.

Pulling into the parking lot at Spirits, I glanced at the clock, which informed me that I was going to be right on time with little to spare. It appeared that being on time was to be late, judging by the amount of cars in the packed parking lot. The only spot open was in the very back, so that meant I got my exercise on the walk to the front door, wearing the heeled boots I had chosen. Once I got inside, I could not believe how many people were there! I had never seen this many people here at one time! They had brought folding chairs and placed them all around for extra seating with the exception of an empty space in the center of the stage area.

Glancing around the shop, there was not a single seat unoccupied, and it was also no surprise that 85 percent of the population was female between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five. I scoped out the group from our apartment building that Trev, Alex, Declan, Dorian, and Bradley had been talking to at my birthday party and waved; unfortunately, there was no available room to join them. I continued looking around for the miracle that there would be an empty chair, completely oblivious to the fact that all eyes were on me like white on rice.

I was so used to it that I no longer noticed. Sometimes I wondered if being numb to it all was such a good thing. Luckily I could sense if something was wrong or evil and I sensed nothing of the sort, so all was well. About that time, I saw my usual spot with a sign that said
Reserved
. I looked around for Avan, but all I got was a thought from him telling me the chair was for me and that I had a peppermint mocha topped with whipped cream and sprinkles on the way.

Within a few minutes, comfortably seated, I held a piping hot cup in my hand that smelled the same way I hoped heaven would. I could still tell that several people were eyeballing me as I looked up and caught them quickly turning away, trying to make it appear they were just casually glancing around the room. It always made me wish they would just come get to know me or ask whatever question they had as opposed to pretending not to spy and gawk. I guess the general population failed to realize that when you try to make it look like you are simply looking around the room innocently, it only makes it that much more obvious!

Suddenly, the house lights went down and the stage was illuminated, causing the otherwise hushed crowd to go into fan mode. A roar of screams from the crowd of doting females in the room filled the air so loud that I could have sworn I felt my overstuffed, sturdy, leather chair shake. I had to admit I was excited myself; I had never heard Avan sing so I was a looking forward to the crowd envying me as the one that the singing hottie belonged to. Judging by the reaction of the room Avan and the boys must know how to rock the place, so I was going to sip my coffee and enjoy it.