Enough Isn't Everything (Everything Trilogy) (32 page)

His bandmates seemed
like regular guys, unaffected by the adoration they received when they performed. I had a newfound respect for him; Alfie didn’t boast, and I hadn’t seen him behave outlandishly given his popularity.

From my vantage point, I looked out and was stunned at how
massive the audience was. All I could see was a multicolored sea of people, thousands of them, stretching far into the distance. Their heads swayed as they moved around. There was a general buzz of conversation with the occasional loud laugh or cheer as the fans got in the mood for the bands.

The
 lights lowered and the emcee’s voice boomed out introducing the hot new band, ‘Crakt Soundzz’, and I realized I knew nothing about them and hadn’t even asked their name.

The
 tension of the crowd added to the atmosphere. There was a lot of whistling, and they seemed to heave and swell forward together, erupting in a roar of anticipation as the lighting in the auditorium went black.

Alfie was just a few feet away from me in the darkness. I couldn’t see him, but I felt his presence. I instinctively knew he was there, and I held my breath. The crowd fell silent… waiting.

I heard the drumsticks ticking,
 and knew the drummer was counting them in and suddenly, vibrations from the bass pulsed and the sound of the guitars reverberated loudly. The same vibrations rumbled across the floor and ran from my toes up and throughout my body, as the noise boomed loudly from the huge amplifiers to the side of me.

Simultaneously,
 Alfie screamed out, “Hello Orlando! We’re so gonna rock the fucking roof off tonight.” The crowd screamed and roared again, their noise swelling louder in appreciation. High pitched whistles and catcalls followed in unison, as the band’s music blared from the massive speakers along the stage.

Alfie had so much energy, bouncing around playing the intro to their first
 song, and when he began to sing, the females in the crowd went wild with excitement.

The cacophony of the crowd
 was deafening between each song, but when they played and sang, the audience was right there with them. The lighting on stage was blinding and heat radiated down on the guys as they performed.

My feet
 continued to buzz under me with the vibrations of the bass’ rumble, and the music continued to boom. The relentless heat of the lights on stage made all of the guys glisten with sweat, and they were half naked in no time.

I
 certainly wasn’t one to complain, especially having a ringside seat to watch these guys. Alfie sang a mixture of fast-paced heavy rock and slower ballads. I was completely transfixed when he sang. His voice was just so incredible. Even though I was hearing them for the first time, I could tell instantly that Crakt Soundzz had something very special, and they would definitely be going places.

Alfie
 sang one particular ballad, and the music was slow and haunting. He stood completely still, hugging the mic. His fingers flexed and re-gripped it every now and again. His eyes were closed as he lost himself in the words of the song. It was as if he were singing it to one person.

A couple of times I looked away, because it felt like I was intruding on intimate words to someone, especially when his face looked pained during some of the verses.

The complicated little riffs Drew played to accompany it were pure inspiration and made the song all the more haunting. Near the end of the song, his eyes opened, and his head tilted to the side in my direction.

They were sad and dull eyes, deliberately seeking me out as I stood the wings.
 His gaze locked into mine as he sang the words, “If I can’t let myself love you, I need to let you go.”

I bit my lip as I listened
, and he broke the stare as he finished the line, his eyes flicking away to the direction of the crowd before closing them again.

The crowd went berserk with emotion when he was done, and the band launched straight into a song about a guy fucking a girl to the beat of
a rock song. I felt pretty sad after that, and if I hadn’t known better, it was a clear message to me to get the fuck away from him.

It frustrated me that Alfie couldn’t make a commitment to anyone, and I wondered if
, like me, he was blocking himself from relationships because he had a bigger plan. I had stopped myself from getting involved with anyone back home because I didn’t want to leave someone behind. If I had fallen for someone, I might not have come here.

Seeing how he and his
 band played tonight made me think there might be something in that. I wonder if he has an inkling of how big his band might become and doesn’t want the complication of leaving someone behind.
If that’s the problem, what about the blond girl?

There was no doubt about it though, these guys were mega-talented, natural rock stars
, and their performance was flawless. I couldn’t believe that I knew this incredibly sexy and amazingly talented man personally.

I was so impressed by him
. Not just his looks, but his charisma too. The crowd went wild and Alfie was grinning and every now and then would wink and point at a female in the crowd. I couldn’t help but feel kind of hurt by that, but I knew that was just his stage persona.

He was als
o drawing new fans by introducing them to his music. He didn’t owe me anything. Alfie’s pitch was perfect and the band’s music had substance. They would definitely be going places, especially with a front man like him.

Every number they played had a catchy hook
, and the crowd seemed to know some of their stuff. It was contagious. This made me think they were more renowned than I’d thought.

I
suddenly felt my music was very rudimentary in comparison. To call Alfie a musician wouldn’t define him, although that was what he was striving for.

He’s
very much an artiste, performing with originality, and his acting skills were as adept as his musical talent. When their set ended, Alfie ran off stage.

Alfie
was still buzzing, bouncing up and down on his toes with excitement. Someone threw him a towel, and he wrapped it around his neck and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go.” He smirked and began dragging me down a long corridor and into an area with lots of people milling around.

There were some couches, big mirrors,
a makeup chair with a dressing table in the corner, and a large buffet and drinks on a table that ran the length of the room. There were two young girls in black and white uniforms keeping it looking tidy and replenishing stuff.

Alfie
 turned to me, holding both my hands. “So… did you have a good time?” I nodded.

“You were all fabulous.” He smirked
.

“High praise indeed
,” he teased. “I’m gonna have a couple of beers here with the band first, then we can go out front and watch the main band. Is that okay with you?”

Feeling relaxed, I agreed.
 “Sure, take your time, I’m fine.” I walked over and sat on one of the couches feeling a little awkward. Some guy came over and sat on the arm of the couch next to me.

“Well hi, there, sweet cheeks
,” he cooed.

The guy looked like he needed a good bath. His hair looked lank and greasy and his teeth were yellow. He flicked his hand through his hair, and the only thing I could concentrate on was his nicotine
-stained fingers. He began to check me out, while scratching his crotch. He was gross.

When he’d finished
 checking me out, he smiled at me tucking his long hair behind his ear. It didn’t improve his look. “How’s it going?”

Thinking he was just being friendly, if a little lacking in his self -awareness, and that he must be involved with Alfie and his band, I indulged him. “Yeah, great thanks, they were great, weren’t they?” I gestured with my head at Alfie’s band.

He licked his lips, and twisted his mouth. “Yeah, they’re okay, for a warm-up. You want to come with me and meet the guys from Phoebe’s Fix?” I felt a little starstruck. I knew who they were, but I didn’t really know the band, since their music hadn’t made it into the mainstream over the pond in the UK yet.

I’d heard a lot of their stuff on the radio since coming to the US, but they could be sitting next to me
, and I’d have no clue they were there. I was flattered he wanted to do this for me, but said I’d told Alfie I would wait here.

Alfie’s arm slipped around me, and suddenly he was kissing me hard on the lips. “Hey Lily
 darlin’ quick, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Alfie addressed the guy, “Oh, sorry, man, Lily meet Harry, Harry… my girl Lily.”

I was incensed at what Alfie had just done, but before I could protest, he pulled me away sharply, trailing me th
rough some people. He stood me back against a wall in the corner of the room holding my hands in front of him.“What the…”

“Shush,” he said softly. He bent his head. “You were almost fucked by a rock star honey.” Seeing my startled gaze, he smirked. “Harry’s the bas
s player in Phoebe’s Fix. He’s a crude bastard too. He fucks a girl, and offers her to others as his sloppy seconds.”

I couldn’t help myself
as I said, “That’s rich coming from you.” He stared at me.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I looked incredulously at him.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Tell me if I’m wrong, but isn’t being fucked by a rock star when they take what they want without any emotion or consideration for the other person’s feelings?” I spat back at him under my breath.

He looked stunned at me.
 “Is that what you think? It wasn’t like that and you know it. We…” He gestured his finger between us. “We used each other, Lily. You knew what it was, and you begged me for it, I heard you.” My mouth dropped open to protest, but he snickered and began laughing at me.

I glanced
 over at Harry, his eyes still staring at us. “He’s still there,” I whispered, cringing as I looked past Alfie’s shoulder. Alfie was angry now and hissed at me.

“He probably thinks he can take you anyway, maybe I should just leave you to it.”

“No,” I said urgently, but with a pleading look. He raised an eyebrow and slowly began stroking my hair tenderly, his eyes locked on mine. It was hard to imagine that we were in the middle of an argument. We were arguing, but his touch felt so tender and intimate, and maybe it looked that way to anyone observing us.

I was
paralyzed by his touch, my head telling me to push him away. My body was screaming for more, much more. It felt too right to stop. Alfie laced my fingers in his and sensually lifted them, to lean on the wall above my head, his forehead on mine.

He
 was making my hips jut forward a little. It turned me on, the way he held me against the wall in that way. He moved one hand after taking both in the other. I tried so hard to resist his touch, his gaze intensely holding mine.

His eyes were smoky as he stared at me. It was probably the most erotic experience I’d ever had
, and I almost begged to have him again. Alfie pushed my knees apart with one knee, lining our bodies up together, and settled his hips against mine.

He was standing with his legs closed between my legs. He was erect, pressing solidly through the layers of
material we were both wearing. His body was flush with mine. He hitched my leg on his hip, his bulge jutting further between my legs. It felt like a delicious punishment, and no doubt about it, he was turned on too.

His gaze wandered to my lips.
 Every time he did this, I became weaker and weaker. He licked his lips and pressed his hips harder into me. I moaned softly and promptly berated myself for doing it.

He smiled, a soft chuckle escaping into my neck. I exhaled and groaned
, “God.” I’d been holding my breath again without realizing it. Alfie licked my neck and lightly nibbling my earlobe. It sent shivers and a rash of goose bumps over me. I moaned again and closed my eyes.

Alfie
knew exactly how to seduce me. His hand trailed down my back, cupping my ass, as he pulled me even closer to him. As if he’d read my mind, he groaned, “God, Lily…I want you so much.”

My panties were drenched with moist, silky, wet arousal, and my body was becoming so responsive, humming at his touch. My willpower was quickly evaporating.

I looked over, and Harry was nowhere to be seen. I didn’t tell Alfie this, and my eyes fell to his lips. He noticed and ran his tongue between them, wetting them and making me more moist in my core, if that was possible.  He leaned back to look at me, the lust clear in his eyes.

He leaned forward again and placed his lips on the side of my mouth, and exhaled raggedly again.
 Alfie’s head moved just a fraction, and he placed his lips on mine applying pressure, but with his lips still closed.

“Save me a space
,” I murmured, and found the strength to push him back before I surrendered completely.

Alfie
 moved away instantly, his breath was uneven. “Sorry.” He looked sheepish, his hands up in a surrendering motion. He was fighting to slow his body down, breathing through his nostrils and the sound was much more labored than I’ve heard it before, even in the wildest throes of passion.

One of the guys from the band, I still hadn’t got his name, L
es or Des or something, shouted out to Alfie, in his rough New York accent, penetrating our trance-like state as we stared at each other.

“Jesus, Alfie, just fuck her already. The tension
is killing me.” I was mortified that his band had been watching me. Alfie turned and scowled, “Shut the fuck up and have some respect, dude.” Then looked at me and seemed genuinely apologetic.

Tears welled in me.
 I just had to get out of there. I ran, not knowing where to. I had no clue where I was, but I knew I didn’t want to be around these people. “Lily, wait!” I was a fool to think we could be friends. It would probably always be like this. My distress confused me, but I somehow made it outside.

There were a couple of security guys and a roadie hanging around the doorway. I saw Dan, the bus driver
, and was about to speak to him when Alfie softly said, “It’s, okay, I’ve got her… I’ve got you.” He had his hands out, and Dan backed off and walked away.