Entangled (Vice Games) (12 page)

Anna did not come near my room that night and did not even return to grab her things. She made do with what she had in her room and the house fell silent as Lorraine finished
with the washing up. As the clock ticked its way to midnight, I found it impossible to sleep as the lingering feeling of Tristan’s lips so close to mine remained. There mere thought of it was driving me crazy.

At just a little past one, unable to stand it anymore, I decided to leave my room and went down stairs. It was completely dark and I had to rely on memory to find my way around. I soon found myself
fumbling around in the kitchen. A hand reached out and turned the tap for me and I jumped with fright.

‘Oh for goodness sake,’ I scolded, ‘don’t do that.’

My hands were clutching my heart as I realized that it was Tristan. He turned off the tap and handed me the glass. I took it from him and our fingers touched momentarily. It sent a strange shiver through my skin and quickly drank the water in one gulp. His presence was driving me mad and I wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible.

Tristan did not say a word and the silence made my heart race. The moonlight sketched his dark silhouette and I could just see the outline of his face. His eyes seemed to glow in the dark as he moved closer towards me. I fel
t his body, his flat solid abs, pressed against mine and the kitchen counter against my back. He lifted one of his hands and pushed a strand of hair from my face.

His hand softly cupped one side of my face and he tilted it up towards his.
I was stuck, frozen by the spell of the night. I shouldn’t have left my room. I could hear my heart in my ears as my pulse raced through my body. The contact of his skin sent a jolt of electricity through my soul. Everything about him was perfect – his ivory smooth skin, his defined jawline, his high cheekbones and his deep blue eyes – shit. Was this another dream?

Tristan lowered his face close to mine. He had been so close towards success before the interruption.
I felt his lips close to mine. I closed my eyes. He lingered to tease my sanity. Tristan had me under his command. It wasn’t fair.

‘Don’t do this,’ I found myself whispering to him. He paused.

‘Why not?’ he uttered, his low soft voice was silky like velvet.

‘Don’t make me lie to myself, don’t make me believe that you truly care about me in that way.’

‘Who said I didn’t care?’ His lips passed over my left cheek and I felt a jolt of electricity down the side of my face. A panic rose from the depth of my stomach. This must be a dream. Tristan would never say anything like that in real life.

I pushed him away. Tristan staggered backwards and the space created allowed me to escape.
As I ran out of the kitchen, I kicked of the chairs and a sharp pain ran through my pinky toe. There was a loud clang and scraping of metal against wood as my ankle twisted and I quickly found myself on the ground. Why wasn’t I awake yet? Unless this isn’t a dream. No. This must be a dream.

Tristan switched on the lights
and was immediately on his knees by my side. There was concern on his face. His hair was a mess and he was in his black silk pajamas. I blinked. No. This isn’t a dream. What happened in the kitchen was real.

‘Are you alright?’

I was clutching my ankle and my eyes had turned misty from the pain. He took hold of my hand and gently observed the injury. It wasn’t bad and nothing was broken, though the pain continued to persist throughout my foot. I did not reply and remained on the ground for a few moments to recover. When the pain lessened itself, I attempted to stand up. Tristan immediately placed his arms under me and lifted me off the ground.

‘What are you doing?’

I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck. He did not speak as he carried me towards the steps. Tristan was much stronger than I had anticipated and I could feel the muscles in his arms. He walked up the steps with ease and I did not feel any fear of falling. Tristan had it all under control.

My bedroom door was slightly open and he placed me on my bed.

‘What are you doing?’

I felt his body pressed against mine
and there was something about it that prevented me from resisting.

‘You’re injured,’ he said in the dark. Tristan refused to turn o
n the lights. His hands gripped my shoulders. I did not move. He ran his palm across my cheek once again and sent a tingling jolt through my skin. He was teasing me. I was sure he wasn’t going to stop until he had his way.

‘Please don’t do this,’ I begged. My back was pressed against the mattress and his body was pressed tightly against mine.
I could feel the growing wetness he caused.

‘Don’t you want it?’ he whispered in my ear.
I gasped for breath as the hot air from his lips touch my bare skin.

‘I can’t.’

‘Then pretend.’

‘No,’ I said firmly, ‘I can’
t. Not like this.’

‘It’ll be the best time you’ll ever have.
I’ve seen the way you look at me. Your eyes don’t lie.’

‘You don’t understand,’ I said. He was not listening to me and I began to squirm under his heavy body.
I could not let him do this to me. I will not allow him to control me like this. He knew I wanted him and used this to his advantage. I could feel his hardness between my legs. But a part of my sensibility remained intact. 

‘
I’m not experienced like you,’ I found myself confessing, ‘I can’t pretend. I’m not ready. Please,’ I begged, ‘don’t force my first time.’

Tristan stopped and lifted himself off me. In the dark, I could see his eyes scan over the silhouette of my terrified face.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said.

I was shaking
and I felt his weight leave me. His shadow sat up as I remained on the bed, every inch of my being trembling with confusion and electricity. It was not that I didn’t want him; my entire body throbbed for him to press his strong torso against me once again. But I couldn’t do it. Not like this. Not out of necessity.

Tristan reached out to touch my face but stopped himself. He stood up from the bed and left. The door closed with a gentle click and he returned to his own room without another word.

The next few days presented an awkward silence between us. Anna, Lorraine and Jace noticed. It was not something that was easy to miss. Tristan slipped into his icy demeanor once again towards me and I stayed out of his way as much as possible. Anna thought it had to do with her walking in on us that evening and blamed herself for the sudden change of mood in the house.

‘Trust me,’ I said to her over lunch, ‘it’s not about you.’

‘Then what happened?’

I couldn’t tell her and I was not prepared to discuss my private encounter with her brother. That was just something you don’t
talk about with someone’s little sister. My refusal to speak annoyed her and she began to grow restless as the week passed. I was glad not to hear anything from the Main House. The wedding talk ceased and Lorraine’s curiosity about my relationship with Tristan grew to match Anna’s.

‘What is going on?’ she asked one afternoon when she could not hold it in any longer. ‘You two were talking like a couple and suddenly, poof, what happened?’

‘Lorraine,’ I started, ‘please don’t ask me. It’s a bit complicated.’

‘How complicated could it be? I mean, I’ve seen how you look at him,’ said Anna.

I turned towards the girl. ‘And what do you know?’

‘
She knows enough, my child, and there is no point in lying about it,’ said Lorraine. ‘It is the same sort of looks he gives you.’

‘What looks?’

‘Come on,’ said Anna, her voice rising with exasperation, ‘don’t tell me you didn’t notice. All those stolen glances, he gives you the pin numbers to all his cards and mom’s ring. No one is allowed to touch his money unless he counts them as part of the family. And mom’s ring, he’s kept it hidden from everyone until now. It’s been in the Baxter family since my great-grandmother.’

‘Wait, that wasn’t the ring your father gave her?’ I was surprised to find this out.

‘No,’ said Anna, ‘it’s from the maternal side of the family. Mom was the last in the line and grandpa gave it to her on her wedding day. Tristan got it before she died with orders only to give it to someone he cares about. I swear it’s the truth, I was there with him when mom spoke to him.’

‘That can’t be right. Me? But everything is a lie,’
I found myself speaking my mind. ‘We’re one big lie to keep you from going back to the Main House.’

‘That was what I thought also,’ said Lorraine, ‘but it is true, the master would never give someone his mother’s ring if she was not someone special.’

My brain froze and could not process properly this new set of information.

‘The master is not good with words,’ continued the housekeeper, ‘he has always had difficulties when it comes to expressing his true feelings. I say the circumstance of his upbringing is the cause of this.’

‘I mean, look at me,’ said Anna, ‘I’m pretty messed up and before I found you, I’ve always had Tristan to lean on, well, that is when he came back. But when he was growing up, he only had mom but she was in a rough state as well. She was on the same stuff as I was.’

‘You mean your father drugged her as well?’

Anna lowered her eyes and there was bitterness in her voice. ‘He thought he would get to her money faster through a conservatorship but she overdosed. It’s funny how he keeps trying to get a conservatorship over us.’

‘What happened to your brother after your mom’s death?’ I asked.

‘The young master disappeared, that’s what happened,’ said Lorraine. ‘All I could do was watch Miss Annabelle forced to follow in her mother’s footsteps. I was so afraid and it took Jace almost a year and a half to track him down before his father got full control of everything. You should have seen the legal battle that went on and all those doctors reporting on Miss Annabelle’s state of mind. It dragged on for so long and the master almost lost.’

‘Although he prevented the conservatorship from happening, he didn’t win custody over me.
That was when that bitch came into the scene and Tristan was forced to bargain everything he owned.’

‘The wedding between them was supposed to happen at the end of this month,’ said Lorraine, ‘but not anymore because of you.’

‘So tell us,’ said Anna, ‘what happened?’

I shook my head. I couldn’t tell her and for obvious reasons.
Lorraine watched me carefully and saw that the matter was too private to share. Anna frowned at my refusal.

‘Anna, I need you to believe me when I say I can’t tell you.’

And that was the end of the conversation.

As usual, Tristan returned home on time for dinner.
I picked at my food as I mulled over what Anna and Lorraine had revealed to me today. Both Tristan and Anna noticed but did not say anything. I went to my room shortly after and stared at the ceiling. I heard soft footsteps approach my room and knew that it belonged to Tristan. Anna was a shuffler, Lorraine moved with light feet and Jace always clomped about. Tristan moved soundlessly like a cat and it was the sort that had to be anticipated to be heard. I saw his shadow through the cracks at the bottom of the door, his feet blotting out the light from the hallway. He stood there but did not knock or come in.

I watched him and he remained there for a good while before leaving for his own room.
I exhaled and closed my eyes. But it was impossible to sleep. Because of Tristan, I suspected that I must be developing a case of insomnia. I flicked opened my eyes and looked over at the clock. It was just past midnight again.

Sitting up on my bed, cast my eyes towards
the bedroom door. I didn’t know what Tristan thought of me and his lack of communicating it made me hesitant to accept his proposal. Yes, it had to do with Anna but I wanted more. I didn’t want it to be a lie. But what Anna and Lorraine had told me turned my head and the thoughts inside my brain. And then there was the matter of his mother’s ring.

I didn’t know what made me move but I soon found myself in front of Tristan’s room.
Lorraine had turned off the hallway lights and it was pitch dark. But Tristan’s room was right next to mine and I knocked gently three times. I waited. Nothing happened. He was probably asleep. What was I expecting? That he would be an insomniac like me? Don’t be silly.

I turned to return to my room when the door swung open.

‘Phoebe,’ he called out to me. I stopped, my limbs momentarily frozen by his voice. Something made me turn back and I quickly found myself standing in front of him. A lamp in his room illuminated us. I peered up at his perfect face, his unblemished marble like skin and his pools of liquid blue jewels. My right hand reached up and touched his face, my fingers experiencing the cool temperature of his skin for the first time. His hand took hold of mine and we stood there, caught in the trap I had been avoiding for so long.

‘Tell me truth,’ I said to him, my voice a soft whisper. ‘How do you truly feel about me?’