Entrelacen (2 page)

I got dropped off on the side of the school. Our
Junior High was a massive bricked building with
hundreds of windows. Absolutely no one wanted to be
there. I walked through the double doors like I did
every day and followed the arrows that marked the
way to the auditorium. It was a pretty typical
auditorium: rows and rows of blue seats with a stage
at the end, blue and white curtains hanging with a
cavalier emblem in the middle. Lisa was already there
with our friend Sandra.

Lisa was the major tomboy in our group. The
only reason people could tell she’s a girl was because
she wore dark eyeliner that made her dark eyes even
darker, and this maroon lip liner that I never
understood. Although, if you didn’t see her from the
front, you would have thought she was a guy.
Sandra is a girl so skinny that she could give skinny
girls a complex. She isn't really pretty, but is one of
the softest spoken and sweet girls you will ever meet.
She’s the type of person that gets prettier as you talk
to her, get to know her.

Then there’s me. I’m the girl with the pretty
face, hazel eyes that everyone loves, cute nose, nice
lips, and a round face. It stops there. I’ve always been
told, “If you just lose weight, you could be the
prettiest girl, and everyone would be falling all over
you.” Then they wonder why we young girls mutilate
our bodies by taking drugs or starving ourselves. I
mean really, who at fifteen needs to pay attention to
what they look like or should for that matter?

I took my normal seat in front of them,
thinking how I couldn’t wait to be done with this
repetitive life. Then I turned around to join in the
conversation.

“Hey guys. What are we up to tonight?”
Looking back and forth between the two of them, I
wondered what they were talking about since they
both got quiet and looked at me with a weird
expressions.

“You remember when we made that pact that
if things got too hard, how we can take off, no
questions asked, and just disappear?” Lisa asked, her
voice pained and her eyes filled with unshed tears.

I looked at Lisa and nodded, “We going
tonight?”
The whole time I was trying to come up with
an excuse to tell my parents so we would be able to
get a head start before they completely freaked out. I
knew it would kill my mom, but I had to keep my
promise to Lisa. Plus, I thought it might be easier to
run away from my problems. That entire year I had
struggled with trying to find myself and be accepted
in high school as well as home. I put up a really good
front around everyone other than the two girls in front
of me. They knew everything about me: how my dad
was a loser and a drug dealer, how I was so insecure
with myself that I resorted to cutting myself, how my
mom was so busy trying to make a life for us that I
felt like it would be wrong to tell her all this because
it would seem ungrateful. My friends didn’t judge me.
They had their own issues. We didn't want to belittle
each other when there were other people doing that.
We just accepted each other for who we were, just like
a little family. A band of misfits.
“Earth to April, can you hear me?” Sandra said
breaking my concentration on the lie I was beginning
to fabricate.
“Huh? What’s up?”
“So Lisa thinks tonight will be best, so we can
tell your rents that ya’ll are staying at Stephanie’s
house, since you guys usually do that anyways. Then
ya’ll are going to say you are staying over with me on
Saturday. That gives ya’ll two days to get away.
Sound good?”
I was totally amazed that they had actually
been thinking about this. I knew something major
must have been going on at home with Lisa. Her mom
was never in the picture, and her dad worked all the
time. Usually it was just her and her siblings at home,
which meant one of her sisters and boyfriend must
have been causing drama. They always treated her
badly. Being the baby of the family, they all expected
her to cook, clean, and do their laundry. It’s like she
took over the mother role.
“Okay, that sounds like a solid plan. Have
either one of you talked to Stephanie yet?”
This was only going to work if she was on
board. Stephanie was my best friend, in the sense that
we were always together, but if push came to shove its
Lisa and Sandra that would really be there for me.
Stephanie has always said that she’s my cousin
because one of her brothers is related to one of my
cousins on my dad’s side of the family. So according
to her, we’re related. Whatever. Needless to say, I
trusted her, about as far as I could throw her.
Stephanie walked in right as I was asking
about her. Now Steph is a lot like me. She has a pretty
face and not a very good body, but she has this
confidence that I lack. No one realized why I would
walk around all the time with a straight face. I just
wanted to appear that I wasn't as insecure as I really
was. I knew people called me a bitch behind my back
because of the hard exterior I put up, but I didn’t care.
Ok I did care, but like I said, I put up a really good
front. That’s one of the only things I’ve perfected.
“Ya'll have that look we get when we’re
plotting a scheme. What’s going on?” I turned to look
at Stephanie who sat in the same row a few seats
away from me, “Before I tell you what’s going on,
you have to promise to ask no questions.”
“I Promise. So what is it?”
“Lisa and I are going to be taking off, and we
need you to cover for us tonight.”
“Taking off? What do you mean, taking off?”
She started to raise her voice.
“You promised no questions, but you know
about the pact we made. Wellwe’re cashing in on it
tonight. Things are getting too hard, and our rents
think we’re staying the night tonight with you. So you
can’t call our house no matter what, okay?”
“Okay? Does that mean I won’t see you guys
or talk to ya’ll anymore? I’m not down with that. I
mean we’re a group. That means we’re supposed to
stick together!”
“No. Calm down before you draw unwanted
attention to us. We will all still hang out. We won’t
stay gone forever. We just...we just have to get a way
for a little while. Things will get better and when they
do, we’ll come back. We promise, right Lisa?”
“Right. Steph, we’re family; nothing can keep
us apart for long."
Lisa looked at me, and the look in her eyes
told me something way worse than what I had
imagined was going on at her house. That look
worried me. I wasn't sure if Lisa would ever come
back. I still had to leave with her because I don’t
break promises even when I’m not sure we’re doing
the right thing. My friend needed me. She was like my
sister, so I was going to be there for her when no one
else was.
The bell rang, and we all took off for our
classes, agreeing to meet at lunch to finalize our
plans. Heading to homeroom I felt lighter, almost as if
all my troubles had just vanished. Like I said before, I
had to grow up pretty quickly and never really had the
chance to make stupid mistakes. Yes, I said it, I knew
running away was a stupid mistake, but what else
could I do? I wasn't happy. I mean I was cutting
myself and my family didn’t even realize it. My mom
must have had an idea since I didn’t wear shorts
anymore, even when I went to bed, but she didn’t
comment.
Sliding into the desk, I had myself almost
convinced that this was the right thing to do. No one
was going to miss me right away anyway and by the
time they do, maybe I would be back home. I hoped
this just might be Lisa overreacting to something
miniscule, and a little time away is all she would need
to clear her head. I knew I needed to talk to her and
see what was going on. I was mentally making a list
in my head, with my teacher’s voice in the
background, when all of a sudden I get shoved by
someone.
Turning to my right I whispered, “Hey, what’s
your problem?” I’ve always been the quiet girl,
always taking what everyone else dished out, but I
finally had enough. I was tired of people taking
advantage of me and thinking they could push me
around. Just because I don’t give you the reaction you
want doesn’t mean you should keep doing it. This
random shove made my decision to leave so much
easier. I thought that I probably wouldn't ever see this
girl again, so I just snapped.
“What did you just say, April?”
I looked back at the girl, “Did I stutter? What
the hell is your problem?” I didn’t even know this girl.
What was her problem? I always kept to myself, and
all I did every day at school was pay attention in my
classes, so why did this girl have an issue with me?
“Ms.Andrews please head to the principal’s
office and take this pink slip with you.”
I turned to look at Mrs. Hill, waiting for her to
send me to the office as well, and she just smiled at
me. Mrs. Hill wasn’t your typical high school teacher.
She’s cool in that adult way where you want to be
friends with and can trust her. Totally shocked that I
didn’t just get sent to the office, I started paying
attention. We were learning about Robert Frost and
his poem about Fire and Ice. I made it through the rest
of the day with no problems, but a ton of looks.
Apparently standing up for myself meant I got put
under the microscope. Seriously, it was like I grew a
second head.
As the lunch bell sounded I made my way to
buy some nachos, Doritos with melted cheese, grab a
soda and went to our table. I knew an interrogation
was coming. With all the looks I was getting in the
halls, I knew my friends had heard something. It was
so unlike “April” to do something like that. It was
bound to be questioned. I sighed as I took the seat, my
seat, the one in view of absolutely everyone. Well at
least that’s what it felt like.
“Oh my god, April. Please tell me you did not
get Marissa sent to the office?” Marie screeched.
Who the hell was Marissa? I thought. Then I
realized she must be talking about the girl from first
period. Yeah, she looked like a Marissa. “What? Was I
supposed to do Marie, let her shove me?”
“Well no, but we’re just surprised you actually
did something.”
Wow! Was I really that lame? I knew I always
let people walk all over me, but for my cousin to
actually say something about it made me feel pathetic
I guess I should’ve expected that from her since she
was one of the popular girls. Everyone loved her.
How could they not? She was gorgeous. I was
surprised she still sat with me since I was considered a
“nerd.” If you were in Honors classes that meant you
were a geek and should be avoided at all cost. Don’t
you love high school? You spend four years
surrounded by the same people since elementary, and
yet when you become “smarter” than them, those
years of friendship disappear based on popularity.
Lame.
“Well whatever, I’m tired of being everyone’s
door mat, and I’m over this conversation.”
Conversations around me seemed to disappear.
More eyes than I can remember were focused on me. I
let out a breath trying to calm myself before I
exploded. I have the tendency to harbor my emotions
until they build up and explode like a volcano. Can
you see the ashes in the sky yet?
Somehow I made it through the next 4 classes.
The school day was finally over. Lisa, Sandra and I
walked to my house to get a bag ready. We live in this
ghetto neighborhood, but the funny thing is I felt safe
there. Everyone knew everyone, well except me. I
usually kept to myself, but my dad and brother
Anthony could tell who is who and where a person
lived. Most of the houses were run down. They had
chipped paint, over grown weeds, and fences that
were falling down. Our house wasn’t that bad, but the
garage needed to be knocked down. It had seen one
too many twisters in its day and it was barely hanging
on. My grandparents lived next door to us in this ugly
Pepto-Bismol pink house with a white picket fence.
The only house I liked on the block was the adobe one
that was across the street from ours. I always wanted
to live in a house like that. It had character, and if the
walls could talk, I’m sure it would have amazing
stories to tell.

“Mommy it’s so cold.” I feel my body
shakingunderneaththe blanket that
mommy placed on me. It’s not helping at
all. The darknessisallaround us; nothing
ismakingit go away. Mommy used tobe
able tokeepit away from me. She would
hide me in the closet or underneaththe
sink inthe cabinets.The darknesswould
keepsearchingfor me. Itliked tomake
me scream and cry until I couldn’t feel
anymore.

“It’s ok, Logan. Just picture the heat
from the sun. Feelhow the sunwould
warm your skinwhen you would go
swimming and hold on to that thought.”

I’m sitting on the floor of my closet
where mommy wrapped me in a sheetoff
the bed.The closet smellslike dirty
clothes, and the floorissocold. She tells
me tobe quiet asshe shutsthe door.
“Logan you can’t make a sound or the
darknesswillfind you. Nomatterwhat
you hear, stay here.”

Inod my head like Iunderstand
what she was sayingeven thoughIdon't. I
hear her cryingoutside. I stand upin the
closet withthe blanket around me,
shaking. I can’t tellif It’sbecause I'm cold
or because I’mangry. I open the door and
creepout of the closet andsee mommy
lying on the floor. She isn’t moving. I run
toher asI’mcryingscreamingat her to
wake up. I don’t see him coming at me
from behind.Now It’sdarkness. I see
nothing.

That’s the moment when my body
decided to jerk awake. I was covered in
sweat, and my heart was racing. That was
what happened to me most nights since I
was 9 years old. My mom always sounded
sad and scared since we left the darkness
behind. We were always running. I
couldn't remember the last time we
stayed in a place longer than a couple of
weeks. Then the fight in Mom just
stopped. I wasn't 9 anymore. I knew that
the darkness wasn’t the dark but a
person. He haunted my dreams turning
them into nightmares. He haunted the
days as well. I felt like we couldn't escape
him. He wouldn’t allow it. The darkness
that was always with us was my father.