Envisioning Hope (4 page)

Next,
a picture of Libby, Bobby, Charlie, and me at the rehearsal dinner the night
before my wedding. The smiles that were on our faces displayed that there was
nowhere else in the world that we wanted to be. I looked over at Libby and
Bobby as he wrapped his arm around her and she wiped under her eye. Picture
after picture flashed in front of me, I could see everything from our reception
to the first pictures of us together holding Sawyer after he was born to a
photo of us taken just a couple of days ago as we stood in front of our
fireplace for our yearly Christmas card pose. Memory after memory flashed
through my mind, there wasn't one that I didn't know or had an issue
remembering.

My
life was perfect. I had everything I could've ever asked for right there,
flashing before me. Coming to the end of the presentation, the lights came back
on and all you could hear was the sounds of sniffling and blowing noses
throughout that room. I looked over at Charlie, his stare never leaving mine. I
mouthed
I love you
to him and he returned the endearment.

I
looked at my watch then over at my mom with my son who happened to be sleeping
in her arms and knew that tonight's celebration was ready to come to an end. I
stood up and cleared my throat, willing for it to produce some type of noise
other than a squeak as I began to speak.

"Wow,
talk about a tearjerker!" I said out on a breath. The room filled with
laughter as I felt my eyes become big. I continued on with what I had to say, "There
is no way in hell that I can even come close to a speech like Charlie's or Dad's,
and I know for sure that I cannot put together a presentation like that, so I'm
not even going to try," I said and the room broke out laughing again. "What
I do want to say, though, is thank you all for coming out and sharing our fifth
anniversary with us tonight. I know it's not a huge milestone, but for us… it
is a milestone and I feel truly blessed to have had five wonderful, amazing
years with this man that I get to call my husband. With that said, I do have a
gift for you, honey." My eyes fell to Charlie as he sat there, his eyes
growing in size as he looked around for maybe someone bringing something to
him. So, I continued on, "The only thing is, it's not here."
Suddenly,  the room became active with people getting up from their seats,
putting on coats, and finding car keys, so I began to yell a bit louder. "If
everyone would do me the honor of following us out to the front of the
restaurant, I'd love for you to share in the presentation of my gift to my
husband, Charlie."

The
room filled with the screeching of chairs as everyone who remained seated stood
and began filing out through the double doors to the front entrance of the
restaurant. My dad had stepped out a few moments before I stood up so he could
drive the car around and park it in front.

We
came to the front doors and I allowed Charlie to push through first. As we
stepped out into the cool night air, there was nothing out front. I looked from
side to side and didn't see anything. I imagined I'd see headlights headed our
way, but the parking lot was empty of moving cars. I was beginning to worry,
but then I heard the horn honking as dad drove up from out of nowhere with
Charlie's brand new Mercedes, parking it right in front of us with a large red
bow on top of it.

"No
way! Hope, no way!"

This
was all that came out of Charlie's mouth. My dad stepped out of the car and
threw the keys to Charlie as I looked at my husband. "Happy Anniversary,
babe," I said as I smiled at him from ear to ear.
Watching him walk around the black convertible was like watching a teenager
walk around his first car. He took in every inch, burning each detail into his
mind. Approaching the driver's side door, Charlie paused. "How?" I
knew that question was coming, I just hoped it would come at a later time, say
like…oh, thirty years down the road. There was only one answer I had worked out
to give him. "It doesn't matter how, it's only matters that you like it
and that you are over-the-moon happy!" I laughed, but didn't feel relief
until Charlie broke out into a laugh as he told me to get in.

Putting
Sawyer into his rear-facing car seat, he stayed asleep. He had a fun time
visiting with everyone. As the ladies passed him around, he flirted with them
by laughing, making noises, and showing them he could clap his hands. I think
that one of them even tried to teach him how to whistle. Never once did I see
him sitting in his stroller, they all thought he was the cutest thing they had
ever seen. Which, in fact, he was. I placed a quick kiss to his brow as he
turned his head to the other side, snuggling closer to his blue baby blanket my
mother in law had made him when he was first born.

I
waved goodbye to my parents as they headed to their car and yelled, "Thank
you," one last time to whoever was in the vicinity of my voice. Sliding
into the seat, the leather felt cool against my back. I looked at all of the
orange glowing bells and whistles I had just paid a fortune for and nestled in
for the first ride. "Ready, babe?" Charlie asked as he pulled the
seatbelt over his shoulder. I smiled and nodded, placing my hand over his as he
put the car in drive. I laid my head against the headrest and enjoyed the calm
movement that almost lulled me to sleep.

"Had
a good time tonight, Hope," Charlie announced and I hummed in agreement. I
was exhausted and couldn't wait to slip my shoes off and crawl into bed. I had
already decided that I was going to sleep in until Sawyer woke up the next
morning instead of getting up earlier like I usually do. Playing the night over
in my head, one scene made me chuckle. I opened my eyes and turned to look at
Charlie. "Did you hear Ron tell that cheesy political joke about the senator
walking into the bar? I thought Mike was going to come off his chair!" The
thought of our friend Mike's face made me laugh harder. I looked forward and
noticed the light that we were about to come up to was turning red. I heard
Charlie laugh at my comment in my ear. Our car came to a complete stop and I
took a moment to reach down and pull one shoe off, flexing my toes so that the
blood could flow back to them. As I went to pull off the other shoe, the car
began to move again.

It
was as if time had slowed. I heard the brakes squealing and looked straight
ahead, but there was nothing in front of us.  Suddenly, the illumination of
oncoming headlights caught the corner of my eye. The bright light that was
nothing more than a beam in my peripheral made me squint. In that split second,
I didn't know whether to scream or try to move to the backseat to throw myself
over Sawyer. I could hear screaming but didn't realize it was me until the very
last second as I felt the forward momentum of the brakes being slammed.
Suddenly, everything happened so quickly. I could feel the metal of our car
crushing in around me as it meshed with the other car. My head was whipping
from side to side, but the sensation dimmed after a few moments. I tried to
keep my eyes open as I looked around to take in what was happening with
Charlie, but it was all so fast. The actual sound of our cars colliding didn't
come until what seemed like a few minutes after the initial impact. My arm was
caught between my body and the door. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt. The only way
I knew something was wrong was when I went to pull it toward me. Then, there
was the deafening explosion. I turned, needing to check on Charlie and Sawyer,
but I couldn't see anything.

Suddenly,
pain enveloped me everywhere.

Silence
filled what had to look like complete and utter chaos.

I
went to call out, needing a response, but my mouth wouldn't move.

I
started to panic, but the world became black.

Chapter 4

Darkness
surrounded me.

Everywhere
I looked, there was nothing but black. This had to be a dream. I reached around
to pinch myself, but I couldn't reach my other arm. Beginning to panic, I moved
my head from side to side, calling for someone, anyone, to help. Was I still in
the car? Oh my god, we were trapped. Sawyer and Charlie, they depended on me to
get help. I began to scream, hoping someone would hear my cries.

Snippets
of what I remembered played in my mind. I felt the car beginning to accelerate,
but it was all in slow motion.  An explosion. With a blink of my eyes, I heard
the squeal of the brakes, the blinding flash of headlights headed for our car.
A wreck, we were hit by someone. A car, no…that flash was too big. A truck.
Turning my head from side to side, I needed to find a shimmer of light. There
was nothing. I still couldn't hear or see Charlie or Sawyer. I began yelling
out to them as panic overcame me, begging for just a whimper or a moan that
would give me some sort of indication they were alright.

"Help
us…anyone!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "I'm still under here…we
need help! I can't see anything! Anyone out there!" I needed to get their
attention, anyone's attention. The police or paramedics had to be here, I just
needed to yell louder.

"Help…someone…anyone!"
I screamed. I could hear footfalls loudly as though someone was running in our
direction. Then, just as quickly, they stopped.

I
heard a voice.  A woman's soft spoken tone.

"Mrs.
Saxton?"

I
let go of the breath I didn't even realize I had been holding. Finally, someone
was here to help. Since I couldn't hear Charlie or Sawyer, I knew that they
needed the medical attention first.

"Oh,
thank god! Finally! Ma'am, I think I'm trapped. I can't hear my husband or son,
they need help! Can you please help them?"

The
voice didn't return right away. I turned my head from side to side. "Lady,
are you still here?" Why wasn't she answering me? I began yelling louder. "My
son and husband need help! Help them now!" I could hear her swift
footsteps as I tried to imagine what this whole chaotic situation looked like.
I tried to put myself in her position; piles of sharp, twisted metal entwined
and fused together from the heat that the loud explosion caused. I continued to
reassure myself that she wasn't answering because she was trying to find a way
in to get to us.  I remained still and quiet for a few minutes, but never heard
the sounds of metal being moved,  just the lady's feet hitting the ground.

"Hurry,
I can't see them…I don't know where they're at!" I repeated, hoping that
if anyone else was around they could help with extracting us.

Just
as fast as I heard her come in, the sound of her trampling was gone. Everything
became silent again. I raised my hands as much as I could to see if maybe I
could move something, anything, to see just a shadow of light. There was
nothing.

"What
the hell!" I shrieked.

Anger
filled me. How could she just walk up to a scene that must look like all hell
broke loose and then take her time walking around like she was on a leisurely
stroll?  Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. Thinking back to a minute ago…to
the female stranger, she knew my name. "How did she know my name?" I
quietly asked myself, confusion overwhelming me. I blew out a breath of
frustration.

Time
was of the essence. I didn't have time for nonsense, I needed to concentrate on
the most important task at hand: making my body work so that I could find
Charlie and Sawyer. I slowly pushed myself up as far as I could go. My body was
sore, my movements slow and jerky, as though I hadn't used it in month. I grabbed
my arm with my other hand to help in holding it up above my head. I needed to
find out if there was anything up there that would hurt me or the boys. It was
clear. Slowly and very reluctantly, I straightened my arms out to the sides to
see if there was any metal that I would cut myself on when I tried to move.
They wouldn't stretch very far, that‘s when I heard footsteps again. I wasn't
about to put my faith in another stranger, the last one never came back. I was
going to get us out of here myself. "Charlie…Sawyer…I'm coming. Hold
tight, mommy's coming," I yelled as loud as I could. They needed to know
we were going to get out.

"Mrs.
Saxton!"

The
deep, demanding male voice roared my way and stopped my actions quickly. He
knew my name as well. What was happening? I had no other choice but to halt my
attempts to move.  "Sir…I need your help!" My voice was frantic, we
needed to get out of this mess and soon. Who knows how long I had been in here?
I knew I had passed out, but for how long… I had no clue. I needed to get to my
son.  "My family is stuck somewhere beneath all this rubble. I can't see,
it's too dark. Can you help me find them and get them medical attention?"

"Mrs.
Saxton…you are in the hospital. My name is Doctor McEwen, you're safe."

What
was he talking about? If I were in a hospital it would be light enough for me
to see. This man was playing games that I was in no mood to play. "Listen
here, whoever you are, I am in no mood for your bullshit–"

His
touch cut me off. I felt him place his hand on my shoulder. I turned my head in
that direction but couldn't see anything. Pitch black, nothing. "Mrs.
Saxton." This time his voice was soft and closer to me. "As I said,
my name is Dr. McEwen. You are in the West Highlands Regional Trauma Center
here in Charlotte. Now, the information I'm going to tell you may be a shock,
so I suggest you brace yourself and know that we are doing everything we can
for you."