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Authors: Saad Hossain

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BOOK: Escape from Baghdad!
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Hoffman gave a little whoop, and then the helicopter shot out, over the clouds of discharged ordinance, across to the great river, rolling with barges and boats, crossing toy bridges filled with little cars, all of it matchbox from up high, everyone moving along in a new day as if nothing much had happened, and perhaps nothing much had.

Down below, Mother Davala sat alone in the center of the wreckage, the last of the furies, wispy hair framing a halo around her disheveled bald head, her enormous smoking revolver tapping against one bony shin. Her boots were knee deep in spilled blood, her body bent against the apocalyptic wind, but she chewed on her half-lit cigar with gusto, and her eyes glinted like the desert sun. In her arm, she cradled an earthen amphora, etched with the patterns of ancient Babylon.

“And so passes one more of our enemies. Our work continues, dear one. I'll speak the names of the victims,” Mother Davala said to the amphora. “And you will scour the world looking for the oppressors. You will be the hand of vengeance. You will be retribution. They will tremble before our names. Is that not a glorious fate?”

“Fuck off,” said the voice within.

THE END

GLOSSARY

A
L
-H
AKIM
: King of the Druze, Fatimid caliph who disappeared mysteriously one day at the age of 36 after evening prayers. Occultation is the technical term for this kind of disappearance. He was an important figure in Ismailism and considered the imam of the Druze.

‘A
S
S
AIQA
' S
PECIAL
F
ORCES
: Part of the much-vaunted Republican Guard of Iraq, which, in the balance of things, did not contest very well against the American regime change.

B
AKLAVA
: A dessert of many layers of pastry, honey, and almonds, which is so good that almost every country from Greece to Persia claim ownership of it.

D
JINNS
: In Islam, there are three sapient races: the djinn, humans, and angels, of which djinns are made of fire and humans of mud. Both humans and djinns enjoy free will, although the djinn appear to have a lot more power. A bit unfair, really.

D
RUZE
: Secretive ancient sect of mystics within Islam who follow a number of esoteric beliefs that are known only to their sworn elders. Although small in number, the Druze enjoyed periods of power disproportionate to their size. The Druze are currently a closed religion. They do not proselytize, and it is not possible to join them. Apologies to all Druze, by the way, for all the liberties taken in this book.

T
HE
G
REAT
L
IBRARY
: The great library of Alexandria, which was destroyed. First by Caesar, then by other brutish Romans.

T
HE
H
OUSE OF
W
ISDOM
: The great university and library of eighth century Baghdad, the highest seat of learning in the world at that time, destroyed by the Mongols. It is thought that the contents of the Great
Library of Alexandria were preserved in the House of Wisdom. The library contained in the house of the blue door is part of this ancient collection.

I
BN
S
INA
: Famed scientist and the father of modern medicine, he was by no means a villain and became so by accident in the course of this novel. It is possible that he discovered the key to eternal life. Latin name, Avicenna.

IED: Improvised explosive device. By all accounts, one of the chief weapons used by insurgents, rebels, bandits, and other people bent on violence. These were essentially homemade bombs often cunningly disguised as everyday objects. Most of the casualties suffered by US–Coalition forces during the insurgency were caused by IEDs.

J
ABER
I
BN
H
AYYAN
: Geber. Famous chemist, mathematician, scientist, alchemist, and philosopher. A towering genius. He wrote some of his alchemical works in code to prevent random people from reading it. The word gibberish might come from his name. Sometime after his alleged death, another body of work came up in Latin, attributed to him. There is some dispute as to who the author is, so he is referred to as “Pseudo Geber.” The answer, however, is clear. Obviously, Geber the master alchemist owned the secret to immortality and continued publishing works well past the length of a normal human life.

JAM: Jaish Al Mahdi, or Mahdi Army. Not to be confused with other Mahdi armies, of which there are many. This particular one was set up by the Shi'a cleric Muqtadr Al Sadr (see later entry), who was active in Baghdad politics during the US occupation of Iraq. The JAM was set up in 2003 as his paramilitary force and fought in the uprising against US coalition forces, menacing everyone. They were eventually put down in 2008 by the Iraqi national army for being too good at what they did.

K
A
-B
AR
: US marine combat knife, a multipurpose tool suitable for any operation from opening cans to actually stabbing someone. The
origins of the name appear to be from 1923, when the Union Cutlery Co. of Olean, New York, branded its knives with this logo. By 1944, many of the combat knives being used by the US armed forces were manufactured by Union Cutlery, who continued branding its products with the prominent Ka-Bar logo. As a result, soldiers started referring to all knives as Ka-Bar, regardless of the manufacturer. (Also referred to as K-Bar).

K
IBBEH
: A kind of kebab. One of the many good things to eat found in Middle Eastern cuisine.

K
URDS
: A landless ethnic group living on the edges of Turkey, Iraq, and Iran, who've sneakily managed to steal a country of their own from the clusterfuck that is the Iraq war. Their army is called the Peshmerga.

M60: A heavy machine gun used by the US armed forces since 1957, copied from German WW2 machine guns. Often used by a team of three men or a single Rambo-type soldier. It weighs a lot and uses belt-fed 7.62 mm ammo that runs out quickly due to the high firing rate.

M
OQTADA
A
L
S
ADR
: Shi'a cleric active in Iraqi politics during the early days of the occupation. At one point commanded his own private army out of the Sadr city area of Baghdad. A most fearsome man.

M
OTHER
D
AVALA
: The ancient matron of a safehouse in Baghdad and incarnation of one of the three furies, or fates, of Greek mythology, who are particularly interested in divine vengeance.

N
AG
H
AMMADI
L
IBRARY
: A collection of early Gnostic texts found in Egypt. One-of-a-kind haul, really. Got nothing much to do with the book, just thought it was cool.

S
ABIANS
: Not in the book, but an interesting fact. The Koran mentions three acceptable people who should not be molested: the Jews, the Christians, and the Sabians. The Jews and Christians were easily identified, but no one was quite sure who the Sabians were. Apparently,
all sorts of unlikely candidates have and continue to claim to be Sabians to avoid molestation.

S
HI'A
: The party of Ali, the largest minority in the Islamic faith. Said to contain many sects, some of which are wildly divergent from the orthodoxy.

S
OLOMON
'
S
D
JINNS
: When Solomon—Suleiman—was king, he ruled a bunch of djinns.

S
UNNI
: The majority, the orthodoxy.

S
UNNI
-S
HI'A CONFLICT
: The major schism in Islam from early days, the root is essentially political. The Sunni believed that the caliph—the political and theological head of the Islamic empire—should be from the tribe at large. The Shi'a believed it should be from the family of the prophet, namely, Ali, his son-in-law. This seemingly innocuous disagreement has degenerated into a rabid hatred of each other, especially in the Middle East, where the doctrinal differences are backed up by racial divides between Arabs and Persians. While the rest of the Muslim world looks on in slight bemusement, these sects have shown a marked preference for killing each other, particularly in Iraq, where everything is up for grabs.

T
AREQ
A
ZIZ
: Saddam-era former deputy prime minister of Iraq, now serving prison term. One of the chief deputies of Saddam. Interestingly, he is a Christian. His employer apparently believed in equal opportunity.

US D
ECK OF
C
ARDS
: Shortly after the US invasion of Iraq, the Americans brought out a deck of cards each featuring a high value target. Those narrowly missing the deck were deeply offended.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I
'D LIKE TO ACKNOWLEDGE MY FAMILY FOR MOCKING MY LITERARY
pretensions at every opportunity and offering no encouragement whatsoever. Also, thanks to my old friends for being ruthlessly sarcastic and forcing me to waste many hours of my life doing random, pointless things.

Thanks to the members of Writers Block for critiquing large amounts of text with well-disguised boredom and promoting my work at every opportunity.

Many thanks to Chris and the people at Unnamed Press for your fantastic editing and for taking a long shot.

Finally, thanks to Bengal for getting me started.

In the off chance that I should become famous, I shall strive to forget all of you as quickly as possible.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Saad Z. Hossain
writes in a niche genre of fantasy, science fiction, and black comedy with an action-adventure twist. He was published in the anthologies
What the Ink?
and
Six Seasons Review
. He has written numerous articles and short stories for
The Daily Star
,
New Age
, and the
Dhaka Tribune
, the top English daily newspapers in Bangladesh. He's a monthly columnist for the
Daily Star
literary page, reviews science fiction for SFBook, and lives in Dhaka, Bangladesh.

BOOK: Escape from Baghdad!
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