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Authors: Piers Anthony

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BOOK: Esrever Doom (Xanth)
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Then he got a notion. It wasn’t enough to make a bulb flash over his head, but it might be worth exploring. If there was always a way through provided, and the firs were the only other feature of the setting, maybe they were the key. What kind of firs were they? It was hard to make out details from this distance, but they seemed to be fruit-bearing, which was odd for such a species. He thought he saw little bottles hanging from their branches.

Then suddenly the bulb did flash. They were Aqua-firs! Trees growing water. A pun on aquifer.

So maybe he had the answer. But he still had to get to the trees to get the water, and Burnice would naturally try to prevent him. He didn’t blame her; it was her job to do, just as his was to save Xanth if he could.

Still, now that he knew where to go, he could figure out a way. He took another step toward the moat. Fire blazed. He took two steps back. Then, feigning desperate courage, he took another step forward. The fire strengthened, and he took two steps back.

When he had backed himself all the way across the setting and come up against the line of trees, he suddenly turned and grabbed a branch. It came off in his hands, the bottles tinkling and breaking, dropping their water. He hurled the whole branch into the fire, and it dissolved into water that made the fire sizzle and retreat.

Well, now! He grabbed another branch, holding it carefully, and a third. Then he walked toward the far side of the setting, staying close to the trees.

Fire blazed up before him. He threw a branch into it, and it sizzled angrily out, allowing him to walk through. Another fire appeared, and he tossed the second branch, drenching it into nothing. When a third fire appeared, he grabbed another branch and doused it.

Then he was at the exit. “Adieu, Burnice,” he called. “I have to move on now.”

“I’m glad you made it,” she called back.

He was sure she meant it. “Thanks.”

Beyond the line of trees was … a nursery room. There was a rather pretty young woman and a two-year-old child, who was also pretty. This was a Challenge?

“Hello, pretty ladies,” Kody said.

Both looked at him, startled. “Do you really think so?” the adult asked.

Ah. “I do not suffer from the Curse. I see you both as you are. So yes, I really think so.”

“Can you share your secret, so we can nullify the Curse?”

“No, because I do not know it. I am Kody Mundane, and I am dreaming; I’m not really in Xanth. If my immateriality here is the reason, it won’t do you natives any good, I’m sorry to say. But my mission is to locate and nullify the Curse so that things return to normal.”

“That will be wonderful,” the woman said. “I am Lyre, and this is Ione.”

“Hello, Lyre. Hello, Ione.”

“I am babysitting Ione, who is the daughter of Princess Ida and Prince Hilarion. She might have been named Iona, but that seemed too common, even if it fit better.”

“Fit better? I’m not sure I understand.”

“In Xanth, men generally have sons, women have daughters,” Lyre explained. Kody refrained from saying that he had already figured that out. “So she’s an I name, with the end of her father’s name added. But Ion isn’t female. So she’s Ione despite there being no E in Ida’s name. It’s only a minor awkwardness.”

“As long as she is satisfied,” Kody said. “I’m not much into the science of names.”

“Names have magic, not science. It’s important.”

“I am new to Xanth, and still learning the conventions.” Kody took a breath. “I gather this is a Challenge, but it does not seem like any kind of a threat or riddle. Am I in the right setting?”

“You are,” Lyre said. “To get through you must solve my problem. Otherwise the ravening monster just beyond here will pounce when you try to enter the castle.”

Just so. “And what, if I may ask, is your problem?”

“I am a compulsive liar. Only here, in this setting, for this introduction, am I telling the truth. One day a demon was inconvenienced by a lie I told and cursed me to lose a memory for every lie I told thereafter. The result was that I have lost much of my mind. I can’t even remember how I came here, but think I must have asked the Good Magician for help, and this is how he is handling it: by making me a Challenge.”

“Why don’t you just stop lying?”

“What part of ‘compulsive liar’ do you not understand?”

“Ah.” And even her name, which he had taken to be a musical instrument, identified her, in the punnish way typical of Xanth. “So I have either to find a way to stop you from further lying, or to restore your lost memories, or get the demon to lift the curse on you.”

“Something like that,” Lyre agreed. “All three would be better.”

“All of which options seem impossible. But there must be a way, because this is a Challenge. I just have to figure it out.”

“That’s all,” Lyre agreed.

Kody looked around the room. There were dolls, a teddy bear, marbles, a picture book, a little mirror, assorted hair ribbons, and a cute little hat. Things a child liked. He doubted any of them could abate a demon’s curse. What else was there? An open window overlooking the moat, an odd little plant on the windowsill, a child’s bed, and an open closet with several hanging little-girl dresses. Those did not look promising either.

So it must be something else. With the Demoness Metria it had been her speech impediment leading to the identification of a pun. With Burnice it had been the surrounding Aqua-firs. What was there about this setting that could facilitate the kind of magic that would deal with a curse? He had the suspicion that he was missing something obvious.

He needed a new approach. Maybe he simply needed to learn more about this setting. “May I talk to the child?” he asked.

“Yes,” the little girl replied.

“Hello again, Ione.”

“Hello again,” she agreed, smiling prettily.

“Please tell me about yourself. Your history, your likes and dislikes, and why you are here in this setting instead of home with your mother.”

“I’m too little to have much history,” the child said, speaking well for her age. “I like eye scream, I don’t like bathtime, and I’m here because Mother is busy at Castle Roogna today so I need a babysitter even though I came on a mission of my own.”

“You seem to have a very good understanding of your situation.”

“Yes. I am very mature for my age.”

“What is your mission here?”

“I want to learn my magic talent.”

Her magic talent. Could that relate? “And what is your talent?”

“I don’t know.”

“The Good Magician wouldn’t tell you?”

“Yes.” Ione grimaced cutely. “So now I’m stuck here for the rest of the day until Mother picks me up tonight.”

“Are you sure you have a magic talent?”

“Yes.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because all people in Xanth, except Mundanes, have magic talents. And the Good Magician told me I did. A really good strong talent, maybe even Sorceress level. He just wouldn’t tell me what.”

“That seems unkind of him.”

“Oh, he has a reason. He always has a reason. But it’s frustrating.”

So far he did not seem to be learning anything useful. “Tell me about your mother, Princess Ida.”

“She’s great! She can make anything true, just by agreeing with it. Only—”

“Only?”

“The one who says it mustn’t know her talent.”

That was odd. “She can use her magic talent only if someone doesn’t know it?”

“Yes.”

“Then how does she ever use it?”

The child focused. “When someone says something, like maybe the sky is blue, and she wants it to be true, she agrees.”

“But the sky
is
blue.”

“Yes. It’s a great talent.”

Kody took stock. Was the child confused, or did her mother really have magic strong enough to change the reality of the color of the sky? It was becoming more important to know how these things were.

“How is it your mother has such a great talent?”

“Way, way, way long ago, Great Grandpa Bink helped the Demon Xanth, and he made all of Bink’s descendants Magicians or Sorceresses. Ida is a Sorceress.”

“All of them? Then you must be a Sorceress too.”

“Yes, maybe.”

“I gather there are different levels of talents, and a Sorceress is at the top. Princess Dawn has a really powerful talent, knowing anything about any living thing she touches.”

“Yes. Aunts Dawn and Eve are Sorceresses. Eve knows about anything not alive.”

“I wonder if part of my Challenge is to figure out what your talent is? That might explain why the Good Magician wouldn’t tell you.”

The little girl pursed her lips, considering. “Maybe so.”

“Because maybe you can help me solve Lyre’s problem.”

“Yes!” Ione agreed eagerly. “Figure it out now!”

But Kody was cautious. There could be some better reason why the Good Magician had withheld the information. Maybe he didn’t want the child to have to serve for a year. Or maybe—

He began to get a glimmer.

“I saw it!” Ione said. “I saw the bulb flash! You got an idea!”

“I think I did,” Kody agreed. “But it’s complicated.”

Her little face clouded. “You won’t tell me?”

He felt like a heel, yet he had to follow through. “Not yet.”

“Why not?”

Maybe he could explain that much. “Because I think your talent resembles your mother’s talent. It works only if the person with you doesn’t know it. So if I told you, you wouldn’t be able to use it. At least that’s my assumption. That would explain why the Good Magician wouldn’t tell you. So it’s for your own good.”

“That’s what Mother says when she makes me take a bath! I hate it!”

“I understand your frustration. Let me see if I can make your talent work, then I’ll tell you. Is that a fair compromise?”

“You’ll tell me before you go?”

“I will.”

“Promise.”

“I promise.”

“Okay,” she agreed grudgingly.

“Now I think I need to talk privately with Lyre.”

“You’re pulling the dread Adult Conspiracy on me!” Ione accused him wrathfully.

“I am not. This isn’t about se—” He paused. “Signaling the stork. This is about your talent.”

“Oh, all right.” Ione stalked off to gaze out the window.

Kody joined Lyre. “I am gambling that this will work if she doesn’t know her talent,” he murmured. “You will have to know it, to make this work.”

“She can reverse curses?”

“No. But we may, with careful management, be able to have a similar effect.”

“You’re not making much sense yet.”

“Here it is: I suspect she can do the same thing her mother can, creating reality.”

“No, she can’t.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because talents never repeat. At least, not in the same generation. Not unless you’re a Curse Fiend. They all have the same talent of cursing.”

Kody smiled. “Many men in Mundania have that talent also.”

“Real cursing. Making bad luck.”

“Anyway, this is different. A variation. What I think she can do is convert a lie to a truth, provided a key person doesn’t know her talent.”

“And I’m a liar!” she breathed. “But that isn’t enough for me. I need to recover my lost memories, so I can function normally.”

“Here is the key. Suppose she converts a past lie to the truth? What happens to your memory?”

She worked it out, her face showing awe. “I think—I think it should undo the memory loss. Restore the memory.”

“And if she continues to convert lies to truths?”

“I’d get a string of memories restored! Oh, that sounds wonderful!” She stepped into him and kissed him. Xanth women seemed to do that. He wasn’t used to it, but did not care to make an issue. Not at all. “Thank you!”

“Don’t thank me yet,” he warned, shaken by the kiss, which he had enjoyed. He simply wasn’t accustomed to being so readily moved by strange women. “It is only my theory, and I still don’t know how to implement it.”

“I have a notion. I’ll tell her the lie, and—” She broke off.

“And she’ll know her talent,” he finished. “That’s the tricky part. For this purpose we need her not to know it. After this session I will tell her; then there will have to be another person who doesn’t know.”

“Maybe Burnice, next door,” she said. “She’s a nice person. I can feed her statements to relay to Ione.”

“Well, let’s give it a try,” Kody said. “What’s the last lie you told?”

“About the ravening monster next door.”

He laughed. “And I believed it!”

“My lies are persuasive. That’s why they cause so much mischief.”

“That’s another thing: after you get out of this, you’ve got to stop lying! Otherwise you’ll soon be back in the hole.”

She gave him a canny look. “Maybe I know the right lie to start. About my curse.”

“About your curse? But she already knows about that.”

“We’ll see.” She faced the girl. “Ione, we’re done with our nasty secret dialogue.”

“About time!” the child grumped. “The only secrets I like are the ones I make myself.”

“Of course, dear.” Lyre took a breath, nerving herself for the effort. “I’m going to tell you something, and I hope it doesn’t make you too mad.”

“What, that you lied about how we’ll have eye scream after this is over?”

Both Kody and Lyre repressed smiles. “Oh, no, dear! I wouldn’t lie about an important thing like that. No, this is different. It’s about myself. You see, I told you how I’m a constant liar, and am cursed to lose memories because of it.”

“Sure. That’s why Kody’s here. To fix it.”

“Well, here’s the thing. I’m not really such a liar. I hate lies, and never want to tell one. I had to pretend to be a liar so there could be a Challenge for Kody, but it’s not true. He figured that out, and now I have to come clean, even if it does spoil the Challenge.”

Ione digested this. “You lied about lying?”

“Yes, dear. Can you forgive me?”

“Oh, sure. As long as you didn’t lie about the eye scream.”

“I didn’t. So you believe me now? That everything I say will be the absolute truth?”

“Yes, sure. I don’t much like lying anyway.”

A peculiar expression crossed Lyre’s face. Kody realized that she was feeling the curse of lying depart, which would in turn stop her memory loss.

BOOK: Esrever Doom (Xanth)
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