Eternal (Eternal series) (19 page)

She felt so torn. 

Emma couldn't tell which way this was going to go.  She wasn’t even sure which way she wanted it to go.  And if she didn’t even know what she wanted, how was this ever going to work out?

She could only hope that after her date tonight, everything would be made clear.  Emma knew she couldn’t juggle them both any longer.  That wasn’t fair to either of them.  She would have to make a decision.  Someone would have to go.



The school day flew by too quickly.  Emma still didn’t feel prepared for tonight, and it was almost here.  She'd have to let whatever was going to happen just happen, but that wasn't an easy thing for her.  Emma always felt the need to be in control of everything around her.  It was a defense mechanism to make sure she never got hurt. 

Unfortunately she'd come to realize she couldn’t control her future no matter how much she wanted to.  Emma didn’t want things to turn out for her like they had for her parents.  They were both alone and miserable, although neither would ever admit it.

Emma was deathly afraid of being alone.  She could vividly remember as a child, learning a lesson in church about eternity.  “There is no end, and no beginning,” her teacher had stated flatly.  “We will all live forever.” 

Emma could still remember how much that statement had frightened her.  The thought of going on forever and ever with no end was utterly terrifying.  What would she do forever and ever?

As she'd gotten older, she came to realize that her aversion to the thought of living forever stemmed from her fear of being alone.  After countless more Sunday school lessons about families that can last forever, and love that lasts forever, Emma was less fearful.

She came up with a plan when she was around twelve years old.  She would find her true love here on earth.  It would be the man that made her feel safe, the man that made her unafraid of the thought of eternity.  That’s how she would know him when she met him; he would be the one to make her look forward to spending eternity with him.

This scenario worked in nicely with Emma's inner hopeless romantic.  He would be her prince charming, her knight in shining armor, and her hero who would save her from her own insecurities. 

It was a tall order to fill she had to admit, but it helped her keep her sanity whenever the fear crept back in.

So this “experimental” date with Destry tonight would be vitally important from that point of view.  Either he would or he wouldn’t fill the order and live up to her high expectations. 

If he didn't, then the decision to let him go wouldn’t be as difficult. 

Emma knew she'd better start measuring Micah against these same criteria.  It wasn’t meant to be a contest, but it looked like that’s what it was coming down to.



Destry was worried.  Emma hadn't come back to school yesterday after lunch, and he'd only seen her from a distance today.  She hadn't looked too happy either.

Was the date still on?  She hadn't canceled, but Destry couldn't help but wonder if that's what was making her unhappy.  He didn't want to force himself on her.

He needed to be near her though.  She was like oxygen to him, she made everything feel better.  She eased the burning in his chest when she was near him and calmed the fluttering of his mind. 

But did she feel the same when she was around him?  He seemed to make her uncomfortable and sometimes angry.  How was this going to work out if they were on opposing sides? 

One couldn't win without the other one losing.

Chapter 15:  DECISIONS

Armed with her inner checklist of what she needed her guy to live up to—in this life and the next—Emma was prepared when Destry arrived to pick her up.  A streak of excitement raced up her spine as she heard the roar of his truck pull up to her house. 

Emma never would have thought she could feel this giddy about a guy.  She wasn’t easily excited.  But there they were again; all those butterflies fluttering around in her stomach giving her goose bumps and making her want to throw up at the same time.

Emma opened the door and her breath stuck in her throat.  She almost choked on it, but recovered quickly managing an odd looking grin. 

Destry looked perfect and warm and almost glowing, standing there on Emma's doorstep.  His head was tilted down, looking at his feet, then he peeked up at Emma from underneath his thick lashes and flashed her that grin.

Emma was genuinely glad to see him, glad that he was finally here.  She couldn’t account for the feeling, because up until that moment, she'd been a ball of nerves.  A sense of calm washed over her, but soon disappeared…

“
Is that your
boyfriend
?” Cody strung out the last word, swooning fakely from somewhere behind Emma.

Why did these things have to happen to her?  It’s not like this wasn’t uncomfortable enough already without her annoying little brother having to insert his two cents into everything.  Emma was considering strangling him, but when she looked at Destry he was smiling devilishly.

“As a matter-of-fact Pip, I am a boy, and we are friends,” he said, pointing back and forth between Emma and him, “so technically the answer is yes,” he winked at Emma on the sly.

“
My name is not Pip! It's Cody!”  Cody snapped with indignation.

“
Well, it’s Pip now,” Destry stated firmly, “your mother and I discussed it.  She agreed with me that it fits you, so we're officially changing it to Pip.”

“
That’s not true!  You’re making that up.  You didn’t talk to my mom about it!”  Cody snapped, his irritation building.

“
Well you can think what you want Pip.  I just wanted you to be prepared when everyone in town starts calling you by your new name.”  Destry smiled warmly at Cody, having fun at his evil game.

“
You can’t change my name.  It’s illegal!”  Cody didn’t look so sure as he said it.

“
I told you—your mom agreed with me that it fit you.  She’s the one that changed it.  And
she
has the legal right,” Destry retorted.

“
It does NOT fit me!  Pip is a dumb name!  It doesn't even mean anything!”  Cody was getting irate.  He looked like he might pop a vein in his forehead if this went on any longer.

“
It’s short for Pip-squeak,” Destry said casually.  Emma saw Cody’s eyebrows furrow together in insult. “And I think it’s perfect.” Destry chuckled blackly, tousling Cody's hair as he tried to swat his hand away. 

Turning back to Emma he asked: “shall we go then, my friend, who is a girl?”  He reached his hand out.  Emma placed her hand in his and Destry tugged her out the door, closing it quickly behind them.

“That was clever,” Emma giggled as they made their way down the sidewalk.  “Did you come up with that on your own?”

Destry opened the passenger door, and Emma quickly climbed in.  He leaned in the cab of the truck, his face just inches from hers. “I’m pretty quick witted,” he said proudly. “I love a good war of words.” 

He was so close that Emma could see every fleck of color in his eyes.  He was definitely handsome, and he was good with insults too— a man after her own heart.

He went around the truck and got in, turning the key.  The engine roared to life like an angry lion.  Emma didn't think she would ever get used to how loud his truck was.

“Aren’t you afraid of going deaf?”  Emma spoke loudly in order to project her voice over the sound of the engine.

Destry chuckled.  “This is nothing,” he spouted, “you should hear it when I have the sound system cranked.”

“I don’t think I want to hear that,” Emma announced loudly.

“
I don’t know,” he teased, “it’s pretty impressive.”

“
I think I’ll pass this time,” she said, shaking her head. Emma couldn’t help but notice that his eyes lit up at the last two words. 

“
So, what do you want to eat?”  Destry sounded enthusiastic now that they were alone.

“
Well,” Emma said thoughtfully, “what are my choices?” 

There weren’t a lot of choices available in Eden, just the one little diner that shared the same building as the general store on Main Street.  If you wanted anything different, you would have to drive at least twenty minutes to a bigger town. 

Emma wasn’t sure how far out Destry had been planning to go.  Gasoline for this noisy monster wasn’t going to be cheap.  She didn’t want to be responsible for breaking the bank.

“
There’s the diner,” Destry said, crinkling up his nose like that wasn’t his first choice, “or we could just grab something from the deli in the gas station.”

The gas station pretty much provided the staples of a teenage existence.  They had chili-dogs, nachos, corn dogs, pizza by the slice, candy bars and donuts, not to mention the well-stocked wall coolers full of caffeinated pops and energy drinks. 

Most of the kids in town preferred to hang out there for lunch during the week, rather than braving the school’s cafeteria food.  Emma wasn’t fortunate enough to be one of them, most of the time her funds were sorely lacking.

“
That sounds good to me,” Emma smiled with approval.  It was too easy to feel comfortable with Destry.

The truck jumped forward as Destry let the clutch out too fast.  Emma stuck her hands out to keep herself from hitting the dash.

“What are you trying to do, send me through the windshield?” she scolded.

“
I’m sorry about that,” he said apologetically.  “I didn’t mean for it to be so hard, I swear.  I just like to goose it sometimes, and see how much gravel I can throw.”  He looked like he meant it.

“
Just don’t do it again,” Emma warned, “or I’ll have to smack ya.”

Destry smiled and rolled his eyes.  “I won’t do it anymore when you’re in with me, I promise.  I wouldn’t want you to smack me and I’m sure you’re just mean enough to do it,” he chuckled loudly.

“You know I am,” Emma said gruffly.  “I don’t need any crap from you or anyone else.  You should act more like a gentleman when you’re with a girl,” she stated flatly.

“
I really am sorry,” Destry grinned.  “I’ll try harder to be a gentleman.”

When they pulled up to the gas station Destry quickly jumped out and jogged over to open her door.

“See, I’m being a gentleman already,” he announced as he held the door open and swept his arm out in front of him as he bowed.  “My lady,” he said in a genteel voice.

Emma couldn't help but giggle, as she hopped down out of the truck.  “That’s more like it,” she said, she playfully stuck her nose up in the air, mimicking royalty.

Destry reached out and grabbed Emma's hand in his, pulling her towards the store.  His hand was so warm, and strong.  Emma liked the feel of it around hers.

Once inside, Destry presented Emma with the none-to-healthy choices available.  She wasn’t really hungry; the butterflies were still flitting around in her stomach, making her feel a bit queasy.  She didn’t want to be rude though, and she didn’t want him to think she was one of those girls who's always watching her figure and refuses to eat in front of a guy. 

Emma had always had a healthy appetite.  Her mom always said her legs must be hollow, there was no other explanation for where all that food went.  It was only fair that Destry know what he was getting into, in case this went any further.

“
I’ll just have a corn dog and a cola,” Emma said decidedly.

“
That sounds pretty good to me.  I think I’ll have the same." Destry seemed exuberant, apparently, that Emma wasn’t one of those girls that didn’t eat.  “Looks like we have a real gourmet meal ahead of us,” he teased lightly.

“
I can hardly wait for the first bite,” Emma smiled back.

They stepped up to the counter together with their hoard, and Destry paid the clerk.  He quick-stepped to the door and somehow managed to hold it open for Emma and the truck door as well, all while juggling the rectangular Styrofoam boxes with their dinner, and two soda cans.

“Here,” Emma spoke guiltily, “let me take some of that for you.”

“
No way.  I won’t be accused of not being a gentleman again,” Destry insisted.

As he walked around the truck, Emma swiftly leaned over and pulled the door handle to open his door so he wouldn’t have to fumble with it on his side. 

“I could stand to act a little more like a lady too, you know,” she announced stubbornly as she read the disapproving look on his face at having her help with the door.  “Besides,” she goaded, “I don’t want to have to eat my gourmet dinner off the dirty asphalt.”

“
I had it under control,” Destry retorted. 

Emma could see he wasn’t really agitated with her.  Just a typical guy who didn’t want anyone thinking he needed help with anything, especially not from a girl. 

Destry climbed in and sat the food on the seat between them and then looked at Emma, as if he was going to tell her something important but didn't know where to start.