Eternal (Eternal series) (21 page)

“
Yeah, suddenly I don’t feel so good,” Emma murmured. 

Destry started the engine and then glanced over at her again, hesitating.  Emma knew he was hoping for something more from her.  She didn’t exactly want the night to end this way either, but she didn’t know what to do or say to change it.  She felt the need to distance herself from Destry, from these feelings that she couldn't deal with. 

Emma had already known she liked Destry, but she hadn’t realized
how much
she liked him.  It scared her, because it made the impending decision between real life, and Micah seem even more hopeless.  Liking him had never been part of the plan.  It was just going to make it harder to say goodbye.

On the way home, there wasn't much conversation.  It wasn’t really uncomfortable, both of them seemed content, lost in their own thoughts, or maybe that was just Emma.  For all she knew, Destry was considering whether or not to even bother with her anymore. 

Before Emma realized it they were back at her house.  She hoped Destry wasn’t too disappointed with her and her uncanny ability to ruin everything.  Emma really did like him. 

There was something about him that she trusted, something good.  She hoped, at least, that they could still be friends after all of this. 

Emma looked over at Destry and he seemed to be at war with himself over something too.  She didn’t want him to hate her, so she tried to salvage the evening as best she could.

“
Thanks so much for dinner,” she said sweetly.  “I’m sorry we had to end it so soon, but it’s probably a good idea for me to get some rest; school tomorrow you know.”  Emma thought her attempt at making things better came out kind of lame.

"Get some sleep," Destry suggested, "It'll help you feel better."

"I'll see ya tomorrow, okay?"  Emma said trying to be upbeat.

"Yeah," Destry mumbled.  He stared intently at Emma and began to lean toward her.

Emma opened the door and jumped down out of the truck.  She didn’t give him the chance to finish whatever course he was on.  She thought it best to keep her distance for now. 

Apparently, Destry was still set on kissing her.

"Goodnight Destry," she said swiftly, and shut the door, leaving him hanging there like a limp noodle.  She strode quickly toward the house, when she reached the door she turned back to wave at Destry before going inside. 

He smiled at her slyly, like this was all a game he was sure he would win eventually.   He waved back then revved the engine and spun out, spraying gravel everywhere.

“Show off!” Emma mumbled to herself and smiled.  She stepped inside and shut the door.

“
You’re back early,” Catherine called from the living room where she was reading.

“
Yeah,” Emma agreed, “our plans kind of fell through.”

“
That’s too bad,” her mom looked honestly disappointed.  “What were you going to do?”

“
We were supposed to go to the drive-in, but the snow made them delay the opening.”

“
So, what did you end up doing then?”  Emma could tell that it irritated her mom to have to squeeze every bit of information out of her.

“
We just grabbed some dinner from the gas station deli and talked in his truck,” Emma offered, trying to make it sound nonchalant. 

She didn’t want a lecture from her mom about the dangers of being alone with a boy in a dark place, blah, blah, blah.

To Emma's surprise, her mom didn’t seem upset about it at all, she blew it off like it was no big deal; a first for Catherine.

“
Did you have fun then?”  Her mom's voice was cheerful.

“
Yeah, I did,” Emma admitted, “it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.”

“
I’m glad you got out of the house and interacted with someone your own age.  It’s good to have fun,” Catherine smiled.

“
Yeah,” Emma sighed.  “Well, I’m going to my room now unless you need anything.  I still have a little studying to do before tomorrow.”  Emma raised her eyebrow at her mom as she hung on the doorjamb, waiting for permission to make her escape.

“
Okay, love ya honey,” Catherine said as she turned back to her book.

“
Love ya mom,” Emma called back and started down the hall, “goodnight.”

Emma got ready for bed, trying unsuccessfully to lighten the tense feeling in her chest.  Her date with Destry had been eye opening to say the least.  The feelings she had when she was with him were too intense to just ignore.

She threw herself down on the bed. Why did she get herself into these messes that she had no hope of getting out of?  Emma moaned and groaned a bunch of nonsense into her pillow.  Even if her face hadn’t been smothered it wouldn’t have made any sense.  Being a sulker was in her genetic makeup and she was good at it.

She hoped someday, someone would be able to break through her invisible brick wall, swim the moat of impossible expectations, and rescue her from herself.  She didn’t want to end up an old spinster.

Maybe it would help if she could figure out what she wanted out of life.  The problem was, she wasn’t sure anymore.  She’d always been a hopeless romantic, waiting for that perfect guy, but instead she’d found a perfect angel and she couldn’t shift her focus back to a normal guy now, even though that would be a saner path to take.

Inner battles were always the hardest ones to fight because there is too much invested interest in the enemy.  And even when you won, you were still the loser.

Chapter 17:  OPTIONS

Thursday afternoon Emma strode into the lunchroom.  Lunch didn't smell any better today than it did most days, but there weren't a lot of choices available so she tried not to dwell on it. 

When she graduated in a few weeks she wouldn't have to worry about eating cafeteria food anymore.  She only needed to endure it a little longer.  She got in line.

Someone grabbed her arm and she turned to see Destry standing behind her with a huge grin. 

"Come on," he said.

Emma scowled at him as he started pulling her towards the door.  "Where are we going?" she asked, slightly perturbed at being drug along like a puppy.

"I thought you might like something edible for lunch today," he said sarcastically.

"I'm taking you to get something from the deli."

"We just ate at the deli last night," Emma protested, "and I didn't bring any money with me today."

"It's my treat," he replied as he ushered her out of the building and across the lawn.

Emma didn't know how to object.  It was a nice gesture on Destry's part and she didn't want to be rude.

Destry opened Emma's door and fanned his arm out, bowing again. 

"Your chariot my lady," he said with a wide grin.  He put his hand out to help her up.

Emma took it briefly as she hopped up into his truck, her heart stuttered, and she quickly let go.  For some reason touching this boy made her body do strange things.

Destry closed her door and walked around to his, getting in with one fluid movement.  He made everything look easy.  He started the engine and pulled out of the lot along with a surge of other vehicles. 

A lot of kids left the school grounds at lunch time.  Emma wondered if the lunch ladies ever felt bad that their food was so despised.

They pulled up at the gas station and Emma saw a crowd of kids from school, both inside and out, milling around and having lively conversations with each other.  Boys were joking, girls were flirting, and Emma was panicking.

Destry looked over and saw that the color had drained out of Emma's face.  "Are you okay?"  He asked.

Emma nodded, but she was having a hard time breathing.  "Do you always come here for lunch?" she managed to squeak out.

"Usually," Destry said, he looked concerned at Emma's reaction.

"There are a lot of people here, must be a popular spot," she said managing a smile.  She didn't want to look like a total idiot in front of Destry.  She noticed some of the kids staring in their direction, one of the cheerleaders waved at Destry.  He just looked at her, and turned his attention back to Emma.

"We can go somewhere else if you want," he said.  "It does look pretty busy here today and I don't want to make you late for your next class."

Emma knew that there was plenty of time to get back to school, and that this was probably how busy this place was every day.  Destry was just giving her a convenient escape. 

He was being nice.

Emma looked at him for the first time since they'd pulled up.  The look on his face told her that he was serious about leaving.  He was trying to please her, to make her happy. 

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Chuck come out the front doors of the gas station. He got an annoyed look on his face when he saw that Destry wasn't alone in his truck. 

He gave Emma a placating smile, and then turned to some of the other guys that were standing in a group near the doors.  He must have said something derogatory to them about Destry and her, because they turned to look in their direction and snickered.

"Yeah, I think I want to go," Emma said quickly.

"Okay," Destry said, shifting the truck into reverse and backing out, ignoring the confused stares from his friends.

He turned and headed west.  "Where are we going?"  Emma asked.  "I thought you were going to take me back to school."

"I am," he said with a devious smile, "but first we're going to get you something to eat."

Emma was confused.  There was nowhere else to eat, not in this direction anyway.  This road led out of town and up the canyon.  The only other building along this route was the Forest Service Station.

Destry pulled off the road just as they reached the red brick Forest Service building and pulled around the back, coming to a stop in front of two vending machines.  He looked over at Emma, pleased with himself.

"So, what'll it be?"

Emma looked at him with admiration; he was nothing if not resourceful.  It seemed like he knew this town better than she did even though he hadn't lived here that long.  "What do you recommend?" she asked, playing along.

"Well they have some really good Corn Nuts," he said matter-of-factly, "but their Snickers is to die for."

Emma couldn't help but laugh, "I think I'd definitely better get one of those then," she said, "and a soda."

"Excellent choice," Destry said.  He gave her a wink and jumped out of the truck, heading over to the machines.

Emma took the opportunity to "check him out" while his back was turned.  He was taller than her by nearly a foot.  He was lean with a strong back, his smooth muscles visible through his thin blue T-shirt.  As he bent down to get the items out of the vending machine, Emma noticed that he had a pretty cute butt too.

He climbed back in the truck and handed Emma her candy bar and drink.  She could feel the blood rising up in her cheeks.  Destry was extremely good looking.  It was no wonder he had girls throwing themselves at him.

"What?" He asked, smiling.

"Nothing," Emma said trying to sound indifferent.

"Well whatever it is you're smirking about, I'm glad it put some color back in your cheeks at least," he said in a teasing tone.

Emma grinned and looked out the window, feeling embarrassed. "We better get back to school."

"Yep, I'm on it."  Destry said as he backed out and spun the truck around, heading back to school.

After a while of watching the fence poles go by, Destry turned to give Emma a crooked smile.  "So, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

Emma didn't know how to respond.  She was doing the same thing she did every Friday night: nothing except hang out with Micah.  She couldn't tell Destry that though.

"I've got a lot of studying, and I make dinner every night for my family," she finally said.

"How late do you study?"  Destry was reaching.

"Next week is the year end test for Calculus.  I'm sure I'll be studying pretty late."

"Oh," Destry said, "maybe we could go out another night then?"

"Maybe," Emma said.

They pulled into the school parking lot at last, and Emma opened her door to get out.  “Do you want me to walk you to class?" Destry asked expectantly.

"No, that's okay," Emma said.  "Thanks for lunch though," she smiled at him and took what was left of her candy bar and soda and headed into the school, resisting the urge to look back.



It took Emma a while to fall asleep that night, her head was spinning and she couldn’t make it stop.  She must have finally drifted off though, because she woke up suddenly to her darkened room, hugging her chest tightly, trying to squeeze out the terrible feeling that this last dream had brought on. 

She glanced over at the red digital numbers on the clock; 2:36 a.m.  Ugh.  Was she ever going to get a good night’s sleep again?

Emma's dreams were becoming a mirror of her life.  It was as if the things she experienced throughout the day were being replayed back to her at night; sort of like a movie.