Ever Enough (10 page)

Harper and I made our way to through the hall to the lobby and out the front doors of the Hilton. The valet took our ticket and about three minutes later he pulled up in Harpers car. She tipped him and he held the door open for me to climb in. When we were both settled and driving away, she finally spoke. “Emilyn what the hell happened? Jesus fucking Christ, I wouldn’t have let him take you outside if I knew he would do this to you.”

I shook my head and turned my head towards the window, finally allowing the tears to fall. “It wasn’t him Harper. I just don’t think I was ready to see him again. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to see Finn.” I stopped and took a deep breath in and blew it back out. “I need you to drop me off at Mom and Dad’s. I need to leave tonight.”

“Em, you don’t have to leave tonight. Just stay and we’ll talk in the morning.”

“I can’t Harper. I need to go home and sort my head out. Please?”

She sighed and said, “Alright hon, I’ll take you home. Just breath Em.”

We eventually made it to my parents’ house and hugged tightly, saying our goodbyes. It wasn’t going to be easy explaining my sudden need to leave to my parents, but I had no doubt that they’d understand.

What the hell was I thinking? I stood out on the patio after kissing Em, after just letting her walk away from me. Well of course I let her walk away from me; it wasn’t like she was mine for me to be putting my hands all over.

Kyler walked out—probably looking for me—and saw the look on my face, paused for a beat trying to read me then asked, “You kissed her didn’t you?”

I just stared straight ahead.

“Jesus Finn, you dumbass! You kissed her didn’t you?” When I didn’t answer him he continued. “She’s fucking married man! What the hell were you thinking? She and Harper took off pretty quickly. Em looked upset.”

“I wasn’t thinking.” I felt defeated. Normally Kyler didn’t talk to me this way but after what I’d just done a verbal smack down was entirely justifiable.

He sighed and put his hand on my shoulder. “Well, what do you plan on doing?”

“I don’t know Ky. I’m sure she’s already on the first plane back to her husband.” I scrubbed my hand down my face. She was gone and I didn’t think I was ever going to see her again. What a way to burn yet another fantastic farewell into my memory. “I need a drink.”

“Now
that
I can help you with.” We turned and walked back inside. The reunion was still in full swing and no one appeared to have noticed what had happened between me and Emilyn. Nobody knew that I just made a huge mistake. I should have just talked to Emilyn instead of coming on to her. But I couldn’t help it. My Tiny Girl had been stood right in front of me and I’d wanted nothing more than to keep her safe and take away the hurt I saw in her eyes. But dickhead that I was, I probably ended up causing more.

I’d kept tabs on Em after high school, and had heard from several of my old classmates how hard she’d taken the break up. They said she’d stayed holed up in her house for months, and even when she did resurfaced she looked bad. She’d been thin, had dark circles under her eyes, and just looked plain miserable. I wanted to go to her so many times and tell her that I had made a mistake and beg her to take me back. I’d never told her why I left. I was hoping to tell her tonight. I knew she deserved an explanation. I didn’t know how she would have taken the information—or if it would have even mattered to her—I just knew I needed to tell her why. I knew I hadn’t handled walking away from her as well as I should have.

As I sat sipping my beer, my cell phone buzzed. I took it out and looked at it. It was from Val, wanting to know when I was coming home and if we could get together. I knew her song and dance. Valerie was a high maintenance girl who liked my title more than me. She liked to say that she was dating a songwriter, and rub elbows with the bands I worked with. It was never about me with her. In truth, I was using her as much as she was using me because I only really kept her around to pass the time. I didn’t feel like dealing with her shit right then, so I put my phone back in my pocket. I’d text her tomorrow.

Kyler and I stayed to hang out with Corey, Michael, and some of our other old teammates. I wasn’t the best company, but Ky made up for my lack of conversation. We decided that we’d head home the next day. I didn’t give a shit about this town without Emilyn in it, and I wanted to get back and write. Kyler would be back in town again in a couple of months because his Dad’s health was going downhill and he wanted to buy a place near his parents. I had a feeling he’d be looking up a certain realtor to help him find the right house. Maybe he could get some information about Em out of Harper. Call me a selfish bastard, but I’d do anything to get another chance to talk to her again. I needed to get a hold of Harper to see if she’d give me Em’s number so I could shoot her a text.

“Hey, I’m going to make a quick call, I’ll be right back.” I told the guys.

I stepped out on the patio where I’d just kissed Em. I had my resolve. I need to talk to her. I cheated by looking up Harper’s number online through her realtor website, and I hit talk. It rang three times before she answered. “Harper Graham speaking.”

“Hey Harper, it’s Finn. Please don’t hang up.”

“Boy you have some nerve calling me. What did you do to her?” She was pissed.

“She didn’t tell you?” I was shocked.

“No. She was a mess when we left and was tight lipped. She had me take her to her parents' house so she could pack and fly home Finn! Start talking.”

I told her everything that happened and when I was done, Harper let out a string of curse words out that made even me blush. “What the hell do you want me to do about this!? Don’t you realize the effect you still have on her?” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen, I don’t give a rat’s ass that she’s married to West. She’s too stubborn to give up on her marriage. But you pulling this shit is just going to send her in to a tailspin!”

“I just need her number Harper.” I wasn’t opposed to begging but hopefully she wouldn’t make me.

“If I give you her number, what are you going to do?”

“I just need to talk to her. To make sure that she is okay. Please Harper?”

“If she becomes at all like she was the first time you walked out on her, I will find you, tranquilize your ass, and tattoo “gay” on your forehead. Do we understand each other?” She was stone cold serious.

“I’m not trying to hurt her Harper, I promise.”

“Yeah well, you know what they say about the best laid plans…” She gave me Emilyn’s number—and threatened my life again—before we hung up.

I went back inside and told Kyler I needed to get out of there and get some sleep. We said our goodbyes and headed out. I decided to text Em instead of calling. I didn’t want give her the chance to hang up on me. My plan was set and I just wanted to get back to Ky’s parents' house to have some privacy in case I heard from her. Hopefully she’d listen to me.

Sitting on a United flight headed back to Chicago—a full day early—I had nothing but time to think about the events that occurred. What led to that mind-blowing kiss? Had I wanted it to happen? What did it mean? Why did Finn have to tell me that he missed me? I had no clue what I was going to do now. Did I ignore the kiss that rocked my heart and shattered the defenses that I’d taken years to build? I knew that wasn’t possible. As much as I didn’t want it to, what happened had meant something to me. It meant that he did still think about me, but how much? I was physically exhausted and on mental overload. I’d left my parents and Harper in the middle of the night to run home to what? If I stayed, I ran the risk of my heart taking over. And what I really wanted to do was find Finley and demand to know what that kiss had meant to him.

As we reached cruising altitude, exhaustion overtook me and I fell into a deep sleep that I so desperately needed. Drifting off with a mind full of unanswered questions, I took myself back to the time and place that Finley first captured my heart…

“Hey, how’s it going?” I heard from behind me.

I was standing by the bleachers next to the softball field, watching Harper’s practice. She was my ride home and I didn’t mind waiting around because it gave me a chance to finish any homework I’d been assigned that day.

Turning around, I looked into the most gorgeous pair of deep blue eyes I’d ever seen. I knew who Finley Morgan was; who didn’t know who Finley Morgan was? Unsure of how to respond to this stunning boy in front of me, I replied nervously “Good, thank you.”

His smile tipped up a bit, causing butterflies in my stomach. I gave a small smile back and looked down.

“I’ve seen you out here everyday watching the girls. How come you don’t play?”

Ummm because I’m uncoordinated, clumsy, and have huge paddle sized feet that I’d trip over, was what I really wanted to say but decided playing it cool would suit me best. “It’s Harper’s thing. I’m just here for support.” Smiling, I looked back up at him and added, “Plus she’s my ride home.”

By now he was giving me a full blown smile, and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. Why was Finley Morgan talking to
ME?
He was one of the star football players, he talked to the cheerleaders and the girls in the drama club; in other words… the popular crowd. They were the crowd that Harper and I didn’t associate with much because those girls didn’t give us the time of day. Frankly I was okay with that because I had Harper and a couple other friends and that’s all that I needed. And did Finn seriously just tell me that he’d seen me out here? Since when did a guy like him ever notice someone like me?

“So what is your thing, Tiny Girl?” His eyes were dancing around my face.

OH MY GOD I THINK I JUST PEED MY PANTS!
Finley Morgan just called me ‘Tiny Girl’. He actually gave me a nickname. Wait, why had he done that? Did he not know my name? “Tiny Girl?” I asked, feeling brave.

His smile dropped a bit and in that second I was willing to do anything to fix it. “Sure. I mean, if you don’t mind me calling you that? I do know your real name. Emilyn, right?”

I was elated by the news. I had no idea that Finn had even noticed me, let alone knew my name! “Yeah, it’s Emilyn and no I don’t mind, but why ‘Tiny Girl’?”

“Because you are quite the tiny little thing and you seem quiet and shy.”

Okay so he had me pegged pretty quick but I didn’t want him to think that just because I was those things or that I couldn’t take care of myself. Standing up straight I looked him square in the face. “Yeah well, the best things sometimes come in small packages. And being quiet isn’t always a bad thing. It makes me observant.”

Holding his hands up in surrender he chuckled “Okay, you’ve made your point.” Looking down at his feet, now he looked like he was the shy one. “So uh, do you think your friend would mind if I gave you a ride home? I mean, that is if you don’t mind me driving you.”

Was he for real? Who would turn down being in a car with him alone? “No I don’t mind. Let me tell Harper and grab my things.” Pushing away from the bleachers I made my way over to the fence and flagged Harper down.

“Oh my god Harper, Finley Morgan just came over here to talk to me and wants to give me a ride home!” I was practically bouncing up and down but I tried to keep my cool. I didn’t want to look like an idiot in front of Finn. “Are you cool with me leaving?”

She glanced over my shoulder with wide eyes. “You little slut!” She was grinning like a fool. “No I don’t fucking mind. Get ‘em tiger!” she teased, then added, “But I’m calling you as soon as practice is over and you WILL tell me everything!”