Ever Enough (3 page)

“Two things”, she said holding two fingers up in the air. “Hooker, why haven’t you called or texted me yet? And why wasn’t I invited in this gross display of The Partrich Family love?” She was grinning ear to ear as she ran over and hugged all three of us. We just laughed at her. My parents were used to Harpers crude mouth and they didn’t fault her for it.

My Mom pulled away first and started making her way into the small galley style kitchen, while my Dad turned around and made a beeline for his old green recliner that he’s had for the past twelve years. Mom yelled, asking me if I was thirsty for anything, but I told her I was fine, and that Harper and I were going to head up to my bedroom to get settled before we headed out for the night.

The stairs going up to my room still creaked in the same places that they always had; something which made it
almost
impossible to sneak out at night when I was in high school.

Almost
. I’d still had my ways.

The walls on the stairs held the same framed pictures of me from the time I was in preschool until I graduated. I still got embarrassed when people saw them, especially the ones from third until about six grade. If I said Harper went through a gangly phase, you should have seen me! I had glasses that covered the whole top half of my face, and braces. Oh and on a special night, you could have caught me with headgear before I went to sleep. I was definitely a nerd.

Harper walked in and collapsed on the bed that is still covered in an all white quilt. I followed in behind her setting my suitcase by my dresser. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to her and looked around the open space. I had those cushioned girly looking pin boards hanging up with photos of family vacations, and throughout junior high and high school Harper and I had pinned on them. Some spots that had at one time held pictures of Finn, were now empty spaces because, I’d taken them down at Weston’s request. I’d explained that Finley and I were still friends and so I didn’t see any reason to take them down, but I think he could see right through me. He knew my history with Finn, and wouldn’t take much to see that I had other reasons for keeping them up. It had physically hurt when I unpinned them and put them in a plastic storage bin. They didn’t go too far though because I’d kept the bin under my bed so I could pull them out if I was feeling the need for an emotional beat down.

I used to think it wasn’t normal for me to still feel the way I did about Finn after so many years. But as almost a decade had passed and the hurt was still just as strong, I’d just learned to cope with it. I guess in a way I’d numbed the part of my heart that would always be his. I felt that familiar ache if I heard his name, or if I passed by someplace that held a memory for us. Harper figured that’s why I ran away to Chicago and got married so fast. I used to have dreams and aspirations to be a teacher, but they blurred and faded away when West came into my life. He wanted to take care of me and said I could make my life at home and be just as happy. That wasn’t case but I hadn’t done anything to change it. And that lingering hole in my heart remained, with no hope of it being filled.

Harper gently bumped my arm pulling me out of my haze. “Hey, so how’s the Windy City treating you? You and that husband of yours thinking of settling down with a herd of little brats yet?”

I rolled my eyes, “Harper, West couldn’t be further away from thinking about having kids. He knows I want them and I keep asking him when he’ll be ready but I think after making partner at the firm, he’s become complacent and might not ever want kids. I think he likes to only have himself to think about. Heaven knows he doesn’t think about me very much anymore.”

“Nothing has changed then since I came out to visit last month?”

“I either sit upstairs in my palatial bedroom all day watching Real Housewives re-runs or I’m down in the kitchen baking like my life depends on it. Do you have any idea how many cookies and cupcakes I’ve made and consumed in the past year? In fact,” I stood up, and turned around to try and see my own butt, “Maybe that’s my problem. My own ass has taken on a life of its own and my husband is no longer attracted to me. What do you think? Is my ass consuming my body?”

Harper started giggling and swatted my backside. “Honey if I had a butt like yours I’d be scraping more men off the floor. You’re so bootylicious that even
I
want to touch it. In fact I think I want to spank it again. Turn around so I can spank it some more.” She lifted her hand to smack me.

I squealed and jumped out of her reach. “Okay, okay enough already! I get it. But seriously, why is Weston acting like I’m the last person on earth? I’ve caught him a few times with a wandering eye. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. How do we snap out of this rut we are in? I’ve wondered if there was someone else but anytime I try to ask him, he acts as if I’m crazy and doesn’t want to talk about it. Subject closed!”

Standing up Harper came over to me and hugged me tightly. “Emmy there isn’t anything wrong with you, and I’m sure he still loves you. As much as I think the man can be a dick, married people always hit a wall, right? At least that’s what all the happy married people say. You’ll get through this.” She stepped back from me and looked me square in the eyes. “You’re beautiful, and you’ve always had the worst self-esteem of anybody I have ever met. Break out of this shell you’ve put yourself in and let
you
out. Seriously Emilyn, you don’t see yourself clearly. You have the biggest heart to go along with this incredible body”, she said as she moved her eyes and right hand up and down in the air in the front of me. “Now, to prove to you that you are every man’s wet dream let’s get ready and hit up the bar, I’m ready to shake what my Momma gave me.”

I laughed and shook my head, wiping away a stray tear. “Harper?”

“Hmmmm?”

“Thank you. You always know what I need and how to make me feel better. I love you.”

She winked and gave me that killer smile the men drool over. “No problem baby girl. Bring me your bag and let me see what you’ve packed and I’ll come up with something sexy to wear.”

Oh shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit!

I reluctantly rolled my suitcase over to her and unzipped the top and flipped it open. I swear Harper gagged at what she saw.

“What the fuck is this? Emilyn Paisley Tucker, why am I seeing Mossimo and Faded Glory in this bag?” she said with genuine disgust. “Oh Jesus I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.” Harper picked up a tan cardigan and matching camisole with her index finger and thumb like it was infected with some sort of contagious disease. I just shook my head at her and her pretentious self. “Seriously, what the fuck Em? I
know
West makes millions and you’re shopping at Target and Wal-Mart? Maybe this is the problem. These clothes
do
make your ass look like there’s a hundred cupcakes stuck to it.”

I shoved her aside, laughing. “Shut it! I love these clothes and I honestly don’t see any reason to spend five grand on a dress I’m only going to wear once. You can find really cute clothes at Wal-Mart. Like this,” I said holding up a short cropped mustard colored blazer. I started cracking up when she gagged again. “Do you need a puke bucket while you look through my bag?”

“No. In fact, I’m done. I can’t look anymore. I’m loaning you some of my clothes and we are totally going shopping tomorrow before we go to the reunion.”

I knew better than to fight with her, so I gave in and told her I’d let her dress me tonight and we would go and get an outfit for the reunion tomorrow. I just needed to try on some of her stuff since—given that we were so different in height—I’d more than likely end up in a dress. I already knew all of her pants would be too long.

Harper ended up pulling out a fun, shimmery sequin top that was black and tight. She matched it with a pair of dark jeans I had in my bag and red stilettos. After doing my make-up in a black smoky look that made my eyes stand out, and adding bright red lipstick she called me good. She decided that my hair was fine. I got up and looked in the mirror and stared at myself. I had to admit, I looked pretty hot. Or at least I felt sexy, which I think is what Harper wanted to accomplish. She threw on a cute black mini dress with some black heels, pinned her hair up and we both were ready to head out on the town.

“You’re going to dance this time, because I’m not dragging you out on the floor just for you to go running into the bathroom again. Got it?”

Being terribly shy, I didn’t like to dance much. But once I had alcohol in me and you might as well put me in front of a pole and start throwing dollar bills. However, the last time we went out I was the designated driver and I couldn’t be convinced to step foot on the dance floor. Harper decided to take it upon herself to physically yank me onto the floor. I ended up pulling free of her grasp, choosing to hide in the bathroom until she texted me, threatening to damage both my life and my beautiful car. I had to take her seriously because she had a history of random acts of violence towards males and their vehicles when she was drunk.

“Yes Sunshine, I plan on drinking tonight and not thinking about anything but the music and having a good time with you. We’ll just take a cab home. Happy?” I replied.

“Very! Woohoo, let’s get moving twat. I’m ready to do this. Oh, if I start fondling your breasts—or my own for that matter—it’s time to cut me off.”

As I headed out of the bedroom I glanced down at my wedding ring. I touched it with my thumb from the same hand, not feeling as sentimental about it as I once had. Without thinking too long about it, I pulled the ring off and set it on top of the dresser. Tonight was about having fun, and the weight of the ring was just another reminder of the problems waiting for me when I returned home.

That decision made, I grabbed my purse, hollered a goodbye to my parents, and we made our way out to the taxi already waiting at the curb.

Harper and I were dropped off in front of Abby’s Bar, a popular place not too far from the center of town. It was a tall brick building that had apparently gone through some renovations since I was last in town. It used to be a little bit more run down but from the looks of it now, I would say the owner must have put some serious money into it. The cement sidewalk in front looked repaved and no longer had old tree roots tearing it up. The sign outside was definitely new; a white billboard with the bar’s name written in a trendy font, proudly fixed to the refaced brick. It was certainly a step up from the flashing neon sign it had replaced. The music inside was clearly pumping and the place was packed.

After paying the cover at the front door, Harper and I made our way in and headed straight for the bar. Bodies were moving and rubbing together out on the dance floor while Calvin Harris’ ‘Sweet Nothing’ blared from the speakers. When we got to the bar, Harper got the attention of the bartender and leaned over, yelling over the music that we wanted four shots of Lemon Drops. Oh god, I was going to be wasted by the end of the night. When they were lined up in front of us, we threw back two shots each. I made a sour face after each one.

“Bleh! Those are horrible!” I said around my scrunched up nose and puckered mouth.

“Eh, you’ll love them after about the fifth one! What do you want to drink?”

“Umm how about a Midori Sour”, I told her with an unsure tone. I didn’t drink much and tended to be a pretty cheap drunk. I was quite certain I’d be feeling those Lemon Drops in about ten minutes. Harper handed me my drink, and I watched as she sucked down some sort of martini-looking thing.

Turning around to look out on the dance floor, I watched as people moved to the beat of the music. It was a Friday night and male bodies were holding females close to them as they swayed and grinded against each other. The minutes passed and I started to warm up as I felt the alcohol move through my system. I was loosening up and I felt my body wanting to go out and move with them. I stood up on my tip toes and yelled into Harper’s ear that I was ready to dance. She practically screamed with excitement, and grabbed my hand to lead me out onto the floor.

I closed my eyes and let myself drift to the music and move however my body wanted too. I felt free and loose. Harper and I were dancing close and a few times guys approached us, putting their hands on our hips to dance. We turned our backs on most of them and just held on to each other. She and I were practically sisters so we didn’t mind being that close. The guys that surrounded us were apparently liking it too, and I heard several cat calls and looks of appreciation. The music had shifted to ‘She Wolf’ by David Guetta ft. Sia. I loved this song. Suddenly I heard a very loud—and very familiar—laugh in my ear. “Oh my god, if it isn’t the Scissor Sisters!”