Ever So Madly (19 page)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jocelynn

A female gasped behind us, and Phillip spun flipping the knife around in his hand. I lifted my hands to my face, but remembered the time I’d spent on the paint and balled them in to fists instead. It was too soon. I couldn’t. My knees shook, but I forced my expression neutral.

“Sorry,” a servant girl muttered to Phillip over and over. “I was sent to find the Lady Jocelynn. I … I … I didn’t mean to intrude. The door was open.” She stammered her words.

Phillip slid the knife into his belt at the small of his back, keeping it out of her sight. The last thing either of us needed was for rumors of blood play to go through the servants.

“Think nothing of it. I will escort Jocelynn to dinner myself. I do need some assistance. Run to my room and fetch me a fresh shirt as I cut my hand and soiled this one.”

She curtsied and hurried away. I moved from the wall taking away that vantage point from him, seating myself on my sofa instead.

“Forgive my behavior. There are not many ways to see how easily a person spooks.” His face was a mask as mine was, but there was arousal still hidden in his eyes.

He took the knife from his belt and cleaned it carefully on his shirt before handing it back to me handle first.

I slid it back into the hidden sheath. “You didn’t spook me.”

I struggled with what to make of the encounter. It hadn’t spooked me as such, but after the conversation with Madden my head was full and I was having trouble processing any of it. I needed to speak to my brother if he wasn’t already in on this. Maybe he wanted the Barony to himself so he wanted me with Phillip. I was becoming as paranoid as the Baron.

“I thought not.” He untied his tie and then worked his fingers down the buttons of his shirt before letting it slide from his large shoulders. He tossed it over the back of the chair then took a seat next to me.

I looked away. He was no stranger to exercise, and his body was proof of that.

“I can feel a connection between us, and I’m not expecting you to act on it now, or soon, but it’s there. I need that. I want you to trust me. I plan to spend as much time with you as I can so you do. That is a must for me. I want to unite our families, and if you don’t trust me we’ll be at odds and working behind each other’s backs. My mother and father have never trusted each other. I don’t want that for us or for our sons.”

I nodded. I was having a hard time coming up with my usual easy replies to all situations for state matters. But this wasn’t just for the good of my House. This was so much more.

“I want that, too.” The words made me sick as I said them.

The truth was, I would always have a Madden-shaped hole in my heart. Nothing would fill the space, and I would always love him more than any other man alive.

He collected my hand in his and brought it to his lips. “Good.” He searched my face, for what, I didn’t know, before retuning my hand.

All I could think of was how Madden looked half asleep and how happy just being there with him made me.

****

By the time Jacob and I woke on the fifth day, we were on Gavin, having drunk ourselves to sleep once we got on the starship, and the days that followed were spent in a deep depression. Jacob had tried to snap me out of it for Phillip’s sake, but I was too far gone in mourning. Maybe the Baron would disinherit me for the disgrace. I could only hope.

Jacob wore thick glasses as we exited the ship to a cheering crowd. I had been up an hour before him, getting my face painted and hair done for the greeting. We had a ceremonial breakfast to get through, and then I could hide again. Phillip was doting as I was presented at the Baron’s side. We greeted all the officials from Harden who’d come to Gavin 9 to meet with us for the month long holiday trip.

All the events were laced with work when it came to my father. The wheels in the back of my mind turned as I picked at my food. I half listened to the meetings going on around me. From this point on not only would I be in all my usual studies with tutors, but I would also sit in on all important meetings and have an opinion in all state matters as the official heir.

Halfway through breakfast I looked over at Phillip. He still wore a smile for me, but it was probably faked after how I’d treated him the second half of the voyage. I glanced around the hall. The politics of the great houses were ruthless. All of these people wanted in my good graces. I faced a lifetime of outsmarting and distrusting all those closest to me. Spies were also a hazard of the title.

I picked up my comm and studied it. I missed him. We’d barely spoken because of both our respective schedules.

“Do you need anything?” Phillip leaned over the back of my chair, his hot breath fanning down my neck.

I glanced back at him and tried to smile, but I didn’t have it in me. “Thank you, no.”

I closed my hand around my comm and sent Madden a message without giving myself time to think it over.

J: Hey

I had no more, and I squeezed it in my hand waiting for him to reply.

Reaching into my bag, I took out my tablet and set it on my lap, because my mind kept flipping from the meeting to a mental checklist of the things I would need as a plan started to form in my mind. I erased all trace of the notes, and turned off the thought tracking function, writing notes by hand instead.

Every time I looked up it was to disapproving stares from the Baron. It was like the guilt was written on my face. I had to do it before he guessed. It was time to decide if I could tell my twin. He would either help me or try to stop me. He’d been so distant and different the last month. I could use his help, but if he tried to stop me it would be impossible.

I was losing my nerve. I had to see Madden again.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Jocelynn

I clutched my communicator in my hand, willing myself not to send him a second message, as the slaves held a long mirror in front of me. A day had passed, and still there was nothing from Madden. I felt like a caged tiger. At any moment I could snap. The formal attire felt like bonds.

I didn’t recognize the woman who stared back at me. She was regal, and I used to see myself as such, but my perspective had changed so much. My long hair was tied up in accordance with the fashion. My lipstick was the same shade as my blood red dress and the color of the House of Akillie. I looked like the blood queen. It made me wonder if the Reds had chosen their color for that reason, taking both the color of my house and the flag of Jok.

“I assure you, you look lovely.” Phillip startled me, but I made no outward display. He was getting the best of me too often. It was a sign of my loss of focus. It was dangerous.

I turned and gave a slight curtsey to him, inclining my chin as I did so. “Thank you.”

“Your expression would suggest you hate it.”

He put me on edge. He always did. “Red is not my preferred color.”

“Perhaps Imperial purple would suit your skin tone better.” His violet eyes blazed, and I noticed he wasn’t in the royal color.

He wore a light gray suit with red accents. We looked like quite the pair. My heart picked up speed as he held out his hand for mine. I offered it, and he brushed his lips over my fingers.

“Perhaps.” I glanced over at him as he linked his arm through mine. “I wouldn’t know as owning a scrap of the Imperial color is punishable by death.”

“Only for those who are not in the direct line of succession to the Emperor himself.” He dropped his face and brushed his lips over my bare shoulder.

Goosebumps raised and extended down my arm. “Are you trying to say something, your highness?” I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear keeping the eye contact.

“Tonight, but we shan’t speak of such things. This morning belongs to you, young heiress.” His intentions were clear.

My cheeks took on an involuntary red hue. “Shall we?”

I breathed easier when I found Jacob waiting in the hall for us. He was dressed similar to Phillip, and I knew they’d planned it. He linked his arm through my other, and we continued to the coliseum.

Jacob leaned over to whisper, “Breathe, you look like a balloon someone sucked the air out of.”

I scowled. “You try binding yourself into a dress three sizes too small.”

“Don’t frown, your face will freeze that way, and then you’ll have permanent puss for the vids.” Jacob grinned.

“You know the best part about corsets?” Phillip added.

We both turned to him, not used to someone interrupting our banter, speaking in unison. “What?”

His lips curled into a roguish grin. “Getting cut out of it later.” He flicked his tongue over his gleaming white teeth as his fingers brushed over the ceremonial knife at his belt.

A shiver ran down my spine. By the end of the night we might be bound by blood as well as metal. The blood didn’t scare me, but the metal sure did.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Jocelynn

I had to remind myself to fill my lungs as we neared the coliseum. I could hear the roaring of the crowd from inside the palace. When we stepped outside we were greeted by an even louder volume. A sea of people waving red and purple flags met my gaze.

Phillip smiled over at me. “It seems our secret isn’t as much a secret as we thought it was.” He shrugged, a wicked glint in his eyes. “Oh well.”

I growled. “I think you are responsible for that.”

Jacob stepped into the carriage and took a seat without ceremony, but he could get away with it. He was allowed to be the bad boy. “Shocking people hear about official visits and talk about how much time you two spend together. I bet the rumors from the slaves alone are ghastly.”

Phillip released my arm and took my hand to help me into the carriage. “Have I been too forward?” He laughed.

My feet were bound into ten inch heels, so I willingly took the support of his hand to balance as I stepped up the tiny stairs. He took my hand and lifted it in the air making the crowd roar.

Phillip liked the attention. It was undeniable as his face glowed. I was perfect arm candy, and he only gained more support from those who were fiercely red. He lowered our joined hands and kissed mine again. There were so many sides to him. It was impossible to know which I was getting, which was real and which was for show.

Jacob kicked his booted feet up on the silk seat next to me and slumped back. The ride was a blur, and soon I was standing behind the veil of the Baron’s box in the coliseum listening to him start the winter games. We would see everything from competition of sport competed in by the wealthy merchants from all over the galaxy to slave fights because the Baron had a taste for blood.

The solid metal and stone structure extended out over where the lessers sat, giving our house a front and center view of the action in the arena. The Baron was long winded, but I stood straight backed waiting for him to give the word.

“Ready?” Phillip asked.

I nodded not trusting my voice. My comm sat in my pocket, and I’d checked it three times in since arriving. He wasn’t replying. He was probably watching me on some giant screen in one of the squares.

“I give you my children and the prosperity of your great House of Akillie,” The Baron’s voice was magnified from the din of the crowd.

Jacob and I joined hands and walked out to stand next to the Baron like ceremonial trophies. Phillip would stay in the shadows until the time was right.

“I know there has been much debate on who my heir shall be,” the Baron began the beginning of the end.

“Not for anyone who lived on Trenton,” I muttered.

Jacob’s lips twitched into a grin.

“But after much conference and close inspection of my twins over the years I am proud to announce Jocelynn as the rightful heir to the House of Akillie, both by birth and decree,” the Baron said, and his words echoed out over the silent arena. “Supported by the Imperial house.” He lifted an arm, and Phillip stepped into view next to him. “Blessed by his highness the High Chancellor to the courts.” He used Phillip’s official title.

The crowd went wild. If word had not spread from those around the winter palace to the arena, they knew now. There was no delay. He’d announced it, and it would be done. The region would be secure with or without the news of the attacks spreading among the people.

“I bind Jocelynn with bands of Akillie. She will wear them for life, as I have, like shackles binding her in servitude to the people we govern, in accordance with the Emperor.”

He took the first of the ceremonial bands and held it over the fire pit. I stepped forward and extended first my left wrist letting him clasp the cool metal there. It quickly heated in fire sealing itself into an unbreakable ring. Next my right wrist was done, and then Phillip stepped forward to stand next to me. A slave stripped him of his jacket and helped him roll up one sleeve.

Phillip pulled the knife from his belt, holding my gaze, and slit his wrist. He held the blade out to me as he said, “By Imperial blood, she is bound into servitude of her people and the royal house.”

I slit my own wrist and let my blood fall into the fire to burn with his. The metal around my arms had been forged in a dying sun and exported for only this purpose. It started to glow red. It wouldn’t become hot for hundreds of thousands of degrees, but my skin prickled and started to burn from the proximity to the flame. I turned the knife and handed it back to Phillip hilt first.

He took it and wiped the remnants of my blood on his shirt. It would be burned after the night was through. Royal blood was as dangerous as it was precious and could not be risked falling into the wrong hands. But he’d already spilled blood for me. This was a reminder of it.

Instead of resheathing the knife, he brought the tip to his tongue and flicked it over the last drop lingering there. A collective gasp radiated around us as he replaced the blade.

It was over all too quickly, and I was sitting in a seat next to him as the games blurred before my eyes. Madden would see us smiling and holding hands on every vid today. We had to be matching as well. I’m sure it was a well-planned publicity stunt. Either by my father or Phillip himself. All I could think about was Madden watching. How Phillip had shoved the knife through his chest with each small gesture. I wanted to take away all Madden’s pain, but he wouldn’t answer me. I’d pushed him away, and I’m sure he thought I wanted Phillip now.