Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (7 page)

I
was walking through the woods awhile back and came to this big open area full of large, tall weeds. For acres and acres, as far as I could see, there were these dead, dried-up, brown, ugly weeds. As I walked through the open field, about a hundred yards in, I saw this beautiful flower. It was so bright, so colorful, so refreshing. It had bloomed right there in the middle of acres and acres of old, ugly, dried-up weeds. And I thought,
Really, that’s what God wants us to do. Just bloom where we’re planted.

You may work around a bunch of weeds, but that doesn’t have to stop you from blooming. You may be married to an old weed. But the good news is, you can still bloom.

Too many people are negative and discouraged because they don’t like where they are. They don’t like their spouses. They don’t like their jobs. Co-workers are hard to get along with. They don’t like where they live. That’s not where they want to be.

If negative people have to work late, it sours their day. They are always fighting against something. They are always trying to go somewhere else. But I’ve learned that God is more interested in changing me than He is in changing my circumstances. As long as I’m sour because I’m not getting my way, discouraged because I’m single and I want to be married, upset because the business isn’t growing, that attitude will keep me right where I am.

If you want to see change, if you want to see God open new doors, the
key is to bloom right where you’re planted. You cannot wait until everything becomes better before you decide to have a good attitude. You have to be the best you can be right where you are.

Put a smile on your face. Be good to people even if they’re not good to you. Be grateful for where you live even if it’s not where you want to be. When you bloom where you’re planted, you’re sowing a seed for God to do something new.

The Scripture says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the L
ORD
” (Psalm 37:23
NKJV
). That means as long as we’re in faith, where we are is where we’re supposed to be.

“That couldn’t be right,” you say. “I’m uncomfortable. I’m not in a good place. Somebody is not treating me right.”

It may be difficult, but God will not allow a challenge to come into our lives unless He has a divine purpose for it. I’ve found that nothing happens
to
us; it happens
for
us. If we keep the right attitude, God will always use it for our good.

That person who is hard to get along with? He’s not happening
to
you, he’s happening
for
you. God is using him to grow you up. You’re developing character. You’re learning to be good to people who are not being good to you. God uses difficult people, like sandpaper, to rub the rough edges off us. The next time you see that person, instead of being upset and all stressed out, just smile real big and say, “Thank you so much for everything you have done for me.”

Then you may have to help pick him up off the ground.

If God removed some of the challenges in your life right now, you would not be prepared for what He has in store. When tough times come your way, instead of being negative and complaining, say: “God, I may not like this, but I know I’m here in Your divine plan and You would not have allowed it unless You had something good for me to get out of it. It may not feel good right now, but I know it’s helping me to grow and become all that You created me to be.”

So often we find ourselves fighting our way to happiness. We’re always trying to reach somewhere else to be happy. “If I could just find something bigger than this small house.” Or, “If I could just move to a better job or at least change departments.” Or, “If I could just meet some new friends.”

That sort of thinking will only hold you back from happiness. A better approach is, “This is where God has placed me right now, and until He moves me, I’ll be happy where I am.”

If I’m stuck in traffic, “This is not where I want to be, but this is where God has me so I’ll relax and stay in peace.”

If I have to work late, I’m not discouraged. “This is where God has me, so I’ll be happy and enjoy it.”

If somebody is mistreating me, I won’t allow it to sour my day and steal my joy. Instead, I’ll say, “This is where God has me for this season, so I will rise above it and be happy anyway.”

That’s what I mean when I encourage you to bloom where you are planted. Wherever you are, know that God has put you there for a reason. When you understand that, your mood won’t go up and down depending on your circumstances or depending on how somebody treats you. You will be stable. You will be consistent. You will always wear a smile, be in a great mood, and be friendly. That’s the sign of a mature person.

What I love about this approach is that it takes away our excuses and puts the responsibility to be happy on us. I know too many people who don’t like their jobs. They dread working. They dread driving to work. They dread dealing with the people at work.

What a shame to be somewhere forty hours a week and not enjoy your work. “Well,” you say, “you don’t know these people I work with. You don’t know how miserable it is.”

Scripture says God has given us the power to enjoy our work. Quit telling yourself,
I can’t be happy here. I don’t like my job. I don’t like the people. I can’t wait till God opens up something new.
You are making yourself miserable.

Start telling yourself,
I have the power to enjoy this job. I’ll have a great day. I’ll enjoy the people. I’ll be productive. I’ll bloom right here where God has planted me.

Sometimes the reason you are not happy on the job is that you are being asked to do things you don’t want to do. But this is important: The person paying you may like things done a certain way. You may not agree. You may think you can do something better another way, but since the boss is approving the check, you’ll need to do what the boss wants you to do. You have to be big enough to submit to the authority and do what you are asked with a good attitude, without always questioning, without walking away mumbling under your breath, “They just don’t know what they’re talking about.”

I worked for my father at the ministry for seventeen years. I was in charge of the television production. We would do these big television specials and big concerts and all kinds of exciting things that I really enjoyed. But toward the end of my father’s life, he didn’t want to do so much. One time I had all these radio stations lined up to carry my father’s broadcasts. I had worked long hours on this big deal. I asked my dad to come down for an hour a week to record his part and we would create the openings and the closings. But he said, “I don’t want to do that. I’m seventy-five years old. I just want to relax and pastor the church.”

I was so disappointed. I thought,
God, I’m young. I don’t want to do less. I have big dreams. I want to do more.

I considered leaving to pursue my own opportunities. When I searched my heart, I felt staying with my father was what I was supposed to do. I made the decision: “This is my father’s vision. He’s been here for forty years. He founded the place. He has a right to do what he wants. And so I won’t lose my joy and pack up and leave just because I’m not getting my way.”

I kept being my best day in and day out. Two years later my father went to be with the Lord. I realize now God put those dreams in my heart for my own ministry. It just wasn’t the right time. But had I not been faithful where I was, had I not honored and submitted to that authority and done the right thing even though I didn’t feel like it, I would not be standing here today.

When you pass that test of blooming where you’re planted and keep a good attitude even when you don’t feel like it, and stay calm when you don’t get your way, and honor authority even when you don’t agree, you are sowing a seed for God to take you where He wants you to go.

“My boss is difficult. My co-workers get on my nerves. They’re negative. They complain. I’ve been praying for three years for God to give me another job. Why is it taking so long?” you might say.

Have you ever thought that God may have you somewhere on purpose so you can be a good example? God may want your light to shine, to brighten the days, to make a difference where you are. Why don’t you take a different perspective?

If you pass that test and bloom where you are planted, God will open new doors. But as long as you are negative and complaining, nothing will change. You are not in position for God to promote you if you are not the best you can be right where you are.

When you are in an uncomfortable situation, realize that either God is doing a work in you or He is using you to do a work in someone else. There is a purpose. There is nothing wrong with asking God to change a situation. But until it happens, you have to trust that where you are is where you should be.

I’ve found that sometimes God has us endure a difficult season to help somebody else. We have to sow a seed and be uncomfortable, treated unfairly. We have to be extremely patient and kind and overlook things just so another person can become what God has created that individual to be.

Many unfair things happened to Joyce when she was growing up. Her first marriage to an abusive, unfaithful man didn’t last. She married a second
time and made her husband miserable. She wasn’t trying to be a bad wife, but she had just been through so much pain. She was hurt and messed up.

She couldn’t trust anybody. She was very negative, critical, and hard to get along with. Her second husband, Dave, wanted to leave her a thousand times. He had every right to walk away. Nobody would have blamed him. But deep down he knew he was supposed to stay. It was the most difficult thing he had ever done. Month after month, even year after year, he was uncomfortable.

His situation was unfair and difficult, but Dave kept blooming where he was planted. He just kept being his best: kind, forgiving, patient, overlooking things. He felt like he gave and gave and never received; all sowing and no reaping.

I’m happy to tell you that today it’s a different story for this couple. Dave paid the price. He stuck with her. And now, thirty-five years later, he’s reaping great rewards. That lady, his wife, is Joyce Meyer. She’s not only healthy and whole, but they have a ministry touching people around the world.

Joyce and Dave are incredible people. Good friends whom I love and respect. Joyce once asked, “What if Dave would have been like my first husband and taken the easy way out? What if he had not stuck with me and paid the price?”

Sometimes God will ask us to put up with things to help another person. Where are the people unselfish enough to say, “God, I trust You. It’s uncomfortable. It’s not fair. I’m not doing it because I want to. I’m not doing it because I feel like it. But God, I’m doing it unto You”?

God rewards people like that!

The apostle Paul put it this way: “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” (Philippians 4:11–12
NIV
).

He was basically saying, “I just bloom wherever I’m planted. I’ll be happy and have a good attitude knowing that God is directing my steps. He’s in complete control. And it’s all a part of His divine plan for my life.”

Like Dave, you don’t have to allow a bad environment to affect your happiness. Don’t focus on the weeds. You may be spending all your time, so to speak, trying to pull up the weeds. In other words, trying to fix everything in your life, trying to make people do what’s right, trying to straighten out all your co-workers.

You can’t change people. Only God can. If somebody wants to be a weed, no matter what you do, they will be a weed. Spending all your time and energy trying to change them will keep you from blooming. One of the best things you can do is just bloom bigger than ever right in the middle of those weeds. Right in the middle of those negative and critical co-workers, put a big smile on your face.

Be kind. Be friendly. When they complain, don’t preach a sermon to them. Don’t try to stop them. Your job is not to pull up the weeds. Your job is to bloom. Just have a good report. The more they complain, the more grateful you should be. The more they talk defeat, the more you should talk victory.

If your co-workers come in one morning being sour and rude to you, don’t be offended and think,
Well, I’m never speaking to them again
. That’s the time more than ever to bloom. Put a smile on your face anyway. Have a good attitude in spite of that.

We are responsible for helping and encouraging others, for guiding them further along. But we are not responsible for their choices. You cannot force a good attitude upon someone. If they want to live in the pits, unhappy, discouraged, and in self-pity, that’s their choice. Do not allow them to drag you into the pit with them.

If you spend all your time trying to encourage others, trying to make them do what’s right, trying to keep them cheered up, they’ll drain all the life and energy out of you. You cannot bloom if you spend all your time trying to keep others happy. That is not your responsibility.

I learned long ago that not everyone wants to be happy. Some people want to live in the pits. They like the attention it brings them. Make the decision to say: “If you don’t want to be happy, that’s fine, but you can’t keep me from being happy. If you want to live in the pits, that’s your choice, but I’m not diving in there with you. If you want to be a weed, you can be a weed, but I’m a flower. I’m blooming. I’m choosing a good attitude. I’m smiling. I’m happy despite my circumstances.”