Every Day a Friday: How to Be Happier 7 Days a Week (6 page)

But when you smile and project an aura of warmth, kindness, and friendliness, you will attract warmth, kindness, and friendliness. Happy people will be drawn to you.

If you’re not receiving what you like, check what you’re sending out. No happy person wants to be around an old stick-in-the-mud. Anyone who is going places will avoid the company of people wallowing in the pits. Your happier friends might pull you out of the pit a few times, but eventually they will find more upbeat people with whom to share their lives.

You may have many challenges. I’m not making light of your circumstances, but Jesus said, “In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer” (John 16:33
AMP
). I’ve found that sometimes you have to smile by faith. Instead of being depressed, discouraged, or worried, say, “I’m not moved by what I see; I’m moved by what I know, and I know this is the day the Lord has made. I’m choosing to be happy.”

When you smile, you send a message to your whole body that says,
God’s in control; everything is all right. This will be a good day.
Don’t wait to see how you feel before you express your joy. Put a smile on your face first. Then the joy will come.

Smiling improves your attitude. You see life in a different light. It’s difficult to smile and be negative. It’s hard to stay in a bad mood if you act cheerful and friendly. One expert says smiling tricks the body into feeling good. That’s the way God created us. Smiling resets your mood.

Our church in Houston receives many visitors who are undergoing treatments from a major cancer medical center nearby. I have been inspired to meet many of these patients who have smiles in spite of their condition.
They are at peace. They are still joyful because they understand this principle: When you brighten up and wear a cheerful countenance, your body is assured that everything will be okay.

Smile and you will have more energy, improve your mood, and get well more quickly. But if you wear a long face and you’re sad and depressed, your body will feel tired and run-down.

My sister Lisa experienced this during difficult times years ago. For months she had no joy. She was so depressed she wouldn’t leave the house. Lisa prayed for happier, healthier times. She knew all the Scriptures. Her friends and family did their best to cheer her up, but nothing seemed to help.

Lisa’s problem was that she was waiting to feel better so she could cheer up. But she had it backward. First you have to cheer up, and then you’ll feel better. Lisa put on a smile out of sheer determination. She smiled by faith. She chose to wear a cheerful countenance.

And her step of faith was the turning point. She broke free of the chains of depression. If Lisa had not smiled by faith, she might still be praying for happiness to find her. She tells this story in her book
You Are Made for More
.

Have you heard the saying “You’ve got to fake it till you make it”? You may have to wear a fake smile, but if you keep at it, God will turn it into a real smile. Lisa won back her joy and God paid her double for her trouble. My sister came out of hard times even better than before. Her comeback began when she chose to smile by faith.

We all can find some reason not to smile, whether it’s high gas prices or low income. But your response should be, “I’m too blessed to be stressed. My future is so bright, I need sunglasses.” Or, as one person told me, “If I was doing any better, I’d be twins.”

Scientists say that humans are programmed to mirror the facial expressions of others they encounter, so your smile is contagious. Make a habit of smiling. Scripture says, “In [God’s] presence is fullness of joy” (Psalm 16:11
NKJV
).

When you lack joy, you are disconnected from God’s presence. When you’re sad and frustrated and wear a chip on your shoulder, you’ve detached yourself from favor, blessing, healing, and promotion. Your happiness supply line has been disconnected.

You have joy deep within you, but sometimes you must push it up higher where we can all see it and share it. Professors at Yale University did a study on how appearance, personality, and attitude influence others. After much in-depth research, they concluded that the single most powerful force of human influence is not looks, height, or personality. Instead, your
smile
is your most powerful tool for influencing others in a positive way.

That explains the saying “If you’re not smiling, you’re like a person with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.” Studies have shown that people who smile frequently are promoted more often and end up with higher-paying jobs. Why is that? Don’t you prefer being with those who are happy, good-natured, and friendly? Of course, we all do!

I’m known for smiling a lot. My brother, Paul, says I was born with my Happiness Meter set on 98. His was set on 10, but he’s working on it. My earliest baby pictures show me smiling. My mother says for the longest time she wondered if I was up to something, but she finally decided it was just my nature!

Years ago, I was in the mall with Victoria and she had picked out an outfit to buy. She was still shopping, though, so I offered to take it up to the line at the checkout counter. When I stepped in front of the salesclerk I smiled and said hello, just being friendly.

The checkout lady smiled back. She was about to ring up the clothes when she stopped and said, “Hang on, I’ll be right back.” She went into the sales office and came back and said, “This is going on sale this weekend, and I have permission to give you the sale price right now.”

I smiled even bigger.

“Thank you so much,” I said.

As she was folding the clothes to put them in the bag, she noticed this little part of the inside lining of one item had come undone.

“This looks like a problem. Do you see that?”

“Oh, yeah, that looks really bad,” I said.

“Let me see what I can do,” she said.

She headed back to the office and in a few minutes came back.

“Okay, I can cut the price to half the sale price.”

I thought,
Man, if I keep smiling, they may owe
me
money!

Victoria said I should shop with her more often after that. I told her it all started with a smile. If I’d stood at the counter looking like an old grouch, I don’t believe the clerk would have gone out of her way to be good to me.

I can still remember the first time Victoria ever smiled at me. I walked into her mother’s jewelry store and didn’t see her right away. I was looking at the watches, but then I looked up and Victoria flashed a 10-carat smile. Within a short time, she had a ring to match. (Well, almost!) I know smiles are contagious because she’s kept me smiling for more than twenty-five years.

Wearing a smile can work wonders whether you are the buyer or the seller, including when you are selling yourself. I read that the Holiday Inn hotel chain was looking to fill five hundred new jobs. They interviewed five thousand people. They automatically disqualified any applicant who smiled less than four times during the interview.

Another study on smiles found that seeing a friend’s happy face has a greater impact on our moods than receiving a five-thousand-dollar raise. Did you know your smile is worth that much? After I read the results of that study I went around the church office smiling at the staff. “There’s
your
raise,” I said. “And there’s
your
raise, and there’s
your
raise.”

Can you believe they told me they preferred cash? Even so, smilers are workplace winners.

When Alexandra was born, I’d just stepped up to pastor our church and Victoria was helping me with all sorts of responsibilities. We needed a babysitter to help us take care of Alexandra during the day. Victoria and I talked with a half dozen candidates. Some were very qualified, with great referrals and strong credentials. We didn’t hire any of them.

Instead, we hired a sixty-year-old woman without great referrals or an impressive résumé. She simply was as warm and sunny as a spring morning. She had a great smile and she flashed it throughout our interview.

She was one of the best hires I’ve ever made. Over the years she filled our house with joy and laughter. She thought everything Alexandra did was funny. I thought I knew a thing or two about the power of a smile. She taught us even more. She taught us that a smile invites what it expresses: kindness, respect, friendliness, and caring.

God gave us all a smile. Are you using yours? Is your joy being fully expressed? How much favor would you experience if you unleashed your full potential for happiness and joy?

The Scripture talks about believers representing God here on the earth. We are Christ’s ambassadors. If we’re to represent God properly, we should do it with joy, with enthusiasm, with a smile. People of faith are supposed to be the lights of the world. I believe the switch that turns on the lights is a smile. Some who lack faith may not want to listen to what we believe, but they certainly watch how we live. We are living epistles read by all men. Some may not read the Bible, but they’re reading our lives. As the saying goes, “Preach at all times; use words only when necessary.”

When people see you, what kind of message are they getting? Are you friendly, happy, good-natured? Do they want the life you have? Or are you uptight, on edge, stressed, and so grumpy that people run from you?

One of our church members known for her radiant smile and personal warmth was shopping one day when the salesclerk casually asked her how she was doing.

“I’m doing great,” she said with a smile. “I’m blessed and I’m believing to have a fantastic year.”

The clerk smiled back and asked, “Do you go to Lakewood?”

Our member replied yes.

“I should have known,” the clerk said. “Everybody who comes in here with a smile like yours is from Lakewood.”

What a great testimony! Yet some critics give me a hard time because
I smile so much. You would think they’d be happy that I’m happy. A reporter asked me one time if I was offended because some call me “the smiling preacher.”

“Not at all,” I replied. “I take it as a compliment. I’m guilty of being happy. I’m guilty of enjoying my life. I’m guilty of living with enthusiasm.”

This world needs more joy. If I feel it, I want to share it.

But when you express your joy and live cheerfully, don’t be surprised if people are suspicious of you. They’ll look at you as if they’re thinking,
Why’s he so happy?
Or,
She must be doing something wrong
. Or,
He must be high
.

Yes, I’m guilty; I’m high on the Most High. I’m happy, I’m excited, and I’m full of hope. I want my joy to be seen.

Smiling comes easy for me because I was raised by a happy family. My grandmother’s smile is one of my favorite memories. Every time I walked into a room and saw her, she would send a smile my way. Sometimes I’d run out of the room and come back just for another helping. She was full of joy, and she passed it on to me.

My father was the same way, except he expressed his joy by whistling, too. All day long we could hear him whistling away. My mother sometimes said, “John, would you quit whistling for a while?”

“Dodie, I’m just happy,” he would reply. “I’m giving God praise.”

“That would be fine, John, but you’re whistling the tune to
The Andy Griffith Show
, and I’m not sure God watches much television.”

I don’t know either, but I do know that people who watch television are more likely to tune into a smiling face than any other. In 1983, I launched the television ministry for my father. The first year we had a veteran consultant come in to help us. He taught me something I’ve never forgotten.

We were watching Dad’s sermon in the control room, and the consultant had us turn down the volume. He said the key to learning how to communicate in television is to turn down the sound and observe the speaker’s facial expressions and body language and then to note the feelings they stir in you.

We tried this with several ministers. Some appeared very passionate, but
without the sound they came off as angry and intimidating. You didn’t want to watch them very long. The ministers who smiled and had a pleasant, unthreatening demeanor were more likely to draw you in even without sound.

People write me all the time and say they can’t remember the sermon’s message, but they were touched by the joy in my face. They felt love coming through on the screen. The same principle applies in life. When you are kind and friendly, you will be more effective in most situations, and your smile will spread joy all around you.

Let your joy be seen and pass it on. Be friendly. Smile on purpose and without condition. Smile at the police officers even when they are writing your ticket. Smile at the grumpy salesclerk. Smile at the boss who just asked you to work on your day off.

When things are difficult, smile by faith. Don’t wait until you feel better. Smile, and the feelings to support that smile will catch up. Remember, you’ve been anointed with the oil of joy. You can live happily even when those around you are discouraged.

If you develop a habit of smiling, God will reward you with His favor. You’ll not only feel better, you’ll also earn better breaks. You will see increase and promotion. People will be drawn to you, and I believe and declare you’ll live that life of victory God has in store for you.