Every One Of Me (9 page)

Just before I sank into oblivion, Charlie's blushing face
came into my mind again and I admitted that I wanted to see him again, but only
for a minute.

Honestly.

Charlie

Please be wearing a bra, please be wearing a bra.

I had repeated this request about 16 times before I knocked
on the front door of the Marshall's. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see
Tess like that every day. She was beautiful in the morning with her hair all
over the place and her clothes all jumbled. However, it was frustrating as hell
when there were other people around and she wasn't ready for me to go all
caveman on her.

Sarah opened the door with a frown and all my senses perked
up. "Good morning, Charlie. It's good to see you again."

"Is everything alright?" I asked, stepping forward
and looking around the house for anything suspicious.

"Yes, everything's just fine," she muttered and
stomped toward the kitchen.

"I don't believe you, Sarah." She was easy to read
as Tess had always been, but Sarah leaned a little more on the dramatic side
when she was upset about something.

She stopped abruptly and shook her head as she turned
around. "She's still asleep!" Her arm shot out and pointed up the
stairs. "She took that pill at 5 o'clock yesterday and she is still out
like a light. I told her I wasn't comfortable with it, but noooooo, she just
had to take it. 'It's just a precaution' she says!" It was always weird
when Sarah used her quote fingers, I'm sure Tess got a kick out of it and normally
I would have busted up laughing, except I was still stuck on the word 'pill'.

"What pill?" I asked, making no attempt to control
the volume of my voice.

She threw both arms in the air and turned back into the
kitchen. "Some stupid sedative or something that the doctor told her to
take."

I rushed in after her so I could ask the questions racing
through my head. "What sedative? I thought she wasn't going to take
anything. You told me she was determined not to. Didn't want to be out of it
all the time. Are you telling me she changed her mind?"

"No, Charlie. Apparently there was some kind of
incident at her appointment yesterday and the doctor wanted to anticipate it
happening again." She was tossing around the dishes in the sink and I was
just waiting for something to shatter. "She said something about making
sure that she doesn't hurt herself or anyone else. Why would she be worried
about that, Charlie? Has she hurt someone before? Did she tell you anything
like that?"

My stomach was twisting around violently and my chest felt
like it was in a vice, "No, Sarah. She didn't say anything like that. She
hasn't really told me much."

I remembered, though.

I remembered when she had hurt someone else even though it
wasn't a big deal. I remembered how hard it had been to hold onto her and calm
her down. I also remembered how scared she had been afterward without even
realizing what had happened.

I knew all of this because it was me she had hurt. It was an
accident, but I came out of it with the worst black eye I had ever gotten. I
never told anyone about it because I knew Sarah would end up taking her back to
a therapist and Tess would fight it. So I had kept my mouth shut.

"I tried to wake her up a couple hours ago, but she
didn't move," Sarah said. "Maybe you could try. I don't know what to
do. I can't just let her sleep. Can I? I don't know how long it's supposed to
affect her." She was starting to panic.

I put my hands on her shoulders, "Shhh, Sarah. You need
to calm down, okay?" She took a few deep breaths and nodded. "Those
doctors know what they are doing and Tess is too logical to do something
stupid. I'll go see if I can wake her up, okay?"

"Okay, thank you." She turned back to the dishes
and started scrubbing, shoulders stiff from worry but accepting my offer with
full trust. I was grateful she trusted me so much, but it put the pressure on
me to make sure I didn't let her down.

I made my way up the stairs and had to take some deep
breaths myself. It wasn't like Tess to take something so strong for no reason. I
had to keep reminding myself that she was more familiar with what was going on
than the rest of us and was the only one with… with…

My thoughts trailed off when I opened her door and saw her
lying in the middle of her bed, sheets tangled in her long legs and hair spread
out over her pillow. The way I wanted to see her in
my
bed. She looked
so peaceful and content, I didn't have the heart to even try to wake her up.
Maybe it was better that she slept like this for a little longer. She had been
so tired lately, according to Trevor, and it was nice to see her face without a
trace of worry or stress.

I walked further into her room, which hadn't been changed at
all since she had left 5 years ago. I had spent so many nights in that bed
wondering where she was and if she was happy. Sarah had needed someone to chase
away the silence of an empty house, so I had stayed over frequently. It was
hard not to when the closest I could get to Tess was this room.

I started to pull the covers over her body, forcing my eyes
away from her legs, when I saw the bruises. In the middle of each forearm was a
clear outline of fingers, dark and purple. I felt an anger that I hadn't ever
experienced before and I the urge to shake her awake and demand to know who
hurt her so I could strangle him to death was almost too overwhelming. I sat
down on the bed next to her hip and lifted her arm to study it more closely. I
hadn't been wrong. It was the outline of fingers and from the size, it
had
been a man who made these marks. My temper flared hotter at the confirmation
and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

"I'm gonna kill him," I growled. I had no idea who
it was, but I was going to kill him.

Tess stirred and rolled toward me. I couldn't let her sleep
any longer, I needed answers.

"Tess, wake up." I put my hand on her shoulder and
shook her lightly.

She groaned and tried to turn away, but I shook her a little
harder and spoke louder, "Tess, you need to wake up, now."

Her eyes fluttered open and for a moment, she looked incredibly
happy to see me which, under normal circumstances, would have caused me to kiss
her senseless, but not now. She blinked a few times and her expression morphed
into anger. I didn't care. I was already livid.

"You mind telling me where these came from?" I
lifted her arm and pointed to the bruises.

She ripped her arm out of my hand and sat up with her back
against the headboard still trying to wake up. "What the hell are you
doing in my room?" Her voice was hoarse and groggy, so incredibly sexy
that I almost forgot what I was so upset about.

"Your mother was worried that you were sleeping too
long," I replied steadily.

"So you thought it was okay to barge into my room and
shake me awake? Did she not explain to you why I was sleeping in the first place?"
Her eyes were wide with annoyance and her chest was rising and falling heavily
with the rapid breaths she was taking to calm herself.

I don't think she realized that her shirt had ridden up a
little and the soft skin above her shorts was in full view. I glanced down for
a moment and not so successfully stifled a groan before my eyes returned to
hers. I hoped the heat I could feel in my gaze was mistaken for anger instead
of the stifling desire I felt for her.

"She did, it's Friday now, Tess. I wasn't going to wake
you up once I saw you. But I noticed the bruises on your arms and thought it
would be a good idea to let you explain. Obviously, your mother doesn't know
about them or she would have told me." I crossed my arms over my chest and
glared right back at her. Barely. I really wanted to kiss her.

She huffed and started to climb out of the bed. Her leg
brushed mine and I held myself steady when the current of electricity buzzed up
and down my leg. "It's none of your business, Charlie. I don't have to
explain anything to you."

"It becomes my business if someone hurts you!" I
shouted.

She pulled on a sweater and started for the door. I was more
than livid now, if that was even possible. I couldn't control the tightness in
my chest and the thought of someone hurting her felt like I had been punched in
the stomach with no hope of ever getting another breath. I watched her stop in
the doorway and turn back to see that I wasn't following her.

"You need to leave my room, now," she said in a
low voice.

I looked down at my hands before lifting them to my head and
running my fingers roughly through my hair. My shoulders felt stiff and my
entire body was clenched tight. I took a slow and steady breath, still aware of
her eyes on me and still feeling the lasers I knew she was trying to shoot into
my skull. My blood cooled to a simmer and I felt the anger seep away as I
focused on what my ultimate goal was. I didn't want to give her a reason to
push me away.

"Tess, please," I whispered. I couldn't risk her
hearing the anger I knew still lingered in my voice. It would only make her
more guarded and I couldn't lose any of the ground I had gained over the last
week.

She didn't say anything, but her posture relaxed slightly
and her face softened.

"I can't stand the thought of someone hurting
you." I looked at her arms now covered in a sweater, but all I could see
was the hand print I knew was there. "Please. Tell me those aren't… if
someone did that out of… just tell me." I was stuttering and felt like I
was going to explode from the helplessness coursing through me. I hadn't
protected her before and I made a promise to myself that I would make up for
it. I needed that.

She sighed and looked down at her feet. I kept my eyes on
her, pleading over and over inside my head for her to just trust me.

She walked back to the bed and sat down next to me with her
head in her hands. "It wasn't intentional, Charlie. It wasn't someone
trying to hurt me." Her voice was small and full of sadness, pain, and
confusion.

"Then, how?" I carefully picked up her arm and
pushed up the sleeve of her sweater to reveal the purple marks. I ran my
fingers over them lightly and welcomed the familiar hum I always felt when I
touched her skin. She didn't pull away or flinch as I touched her and I realized
that in some way, she did trust me.

"It was during my session. The doctor had to have these
guys, who I'm assuming were nurses or something, help hold me down. I guess I
was fighting pretty hard." She let me hold her arm in my hands for a
little longer before pushing her sleeve down and moving it into her lap.
"Mom would freak out more than she already has, Charlie. She is pretending
to be unaffected by all this, but I know she is having a hard time. This would
push her over the edge and I can't let that happen."

"She is worried about you, Tess. We all are. We are all
trying to understand."

"I know." She fidgeted with the buttons on her
sweater and looked ready to cry, but she was trying so hard to hold it back.

The sound of footsteps in the hall made both of us snap our
heads toward the door. We looked back at each other at the same time and her
eyes were pleading with me to keep quiet. Before I could give her any
indication of what I had decided, Sarah walked into the room.

"What is going on up here? It's about time you woke up,
Theresa! You scared the hell out of me. I don't think you should take those
pills again." She was back to panicking and looked at me for support.

I had to get out of there before I pissed them both off all
over again.

"She's just fine, Sarah. Woke up without any problems.
We were just discussing a few things before I had to leave." I stood
quickly and made my way to the door. "I've got a few things to do
today."

"You're coming back for dinner, right?" she asked
desperately. Before I could respond, she started to panic. "Don't you dare
think you can get out of it. Tessa and I are going to need all the help we can
get with Ellie being here."

"I'll be here, Sarah. I promise." I looked over at
Tess one last time and then turned to leave.

"Charlie?"

I stopped and turned back to that sweet voice, hopeful. When
I met her eyes, they were happy and grateful. Her smile, however, was sad and I
knew she was cursing herself for being so cold, but she hadn't done anything
wrong. "Yeah, Tess?"

"Thank you," she said softly.

I just nodded, too afraid that my voice would betray the
emotion I was fighting desperately to control. Sarah looked confused, but I
didn't stay long enough to find out if she asked any questions. I almost ran to
my car and by the time I pulled out onto the road, my heart had slowed down
enough to dull the pulse that had clouded my head. I couldn't go another day
without telling her.

She deserved to know. I
needed
her to know. I just
didn't know how she would take it.

***

My head was in the clouds again. Rob, my coach, kept yelling
at the top of his lungs for me to keep my hands up. He hadn't done that since
my first week in training. It just wasn't in me today. I couldn't stop thinking
about the bruises on Tessa's arms and my concentration was toast.

I had called them both to meet me at the gym after I left
the house. I told them I needed to let off some steam. They kept telling me I
just needed to get laid, which made me think of Tess all over again.

After two hours of hearing nothing but complaints about my
stance, my jabs, and the lack of energy behind my kicks, I threw up my hands
and told them I was done. Trevor kept smirking at me and it took everything I
had not to punch it off his face.

"See you at dinner," he yelled from the door.

I didn't respond and dropped down onto the bench in the
locker room to unwrap my hands. I had a fight two weeks from today and if you
had asked me two days ago if I was ready for it, I wouldn't have hesitated in
saying yes.