Everything Forbidden (12 page)

He snorted. “How?”

“We’re both willing to go to great lengths to protect our family. Perhaps not for the same reasons, but the results are similar.” She glanced at him to find him staring at her, a pensive expression on his normally relaxed face.

“She manipulates, though, and you don’t,” he said softly.

She sighed. “A manipulation is only a twisted lie. And I’ve been lying aplenty lately.”

He shook his head. “No, a manipulation is a game with the prize being winning your objective by any means. There is a huge difference.”

She didn’t answer for a long moment. Ethan was the master at games, manipulations. He admitted freely that the bargain between them was a game.
She
was a game to him. A prize to be won and played with until he bored of her. She knew that, but the idea still stung.

Especially since currently she felt close to him. This conversation was perhaps the first
real
one they’d ever had. And she liked it. She liked being able to speak openly to a person who wouldn’t judge or scold her.

With a light laugh to play off her suddenly somber mood, she said, “She’s having a party, you know. This coming week.”

He took a sip of wine. “I know. I received an invitation this morning before you arrived. According to her flowing prose,
I
am to be the guest of honor.” He shuddered.

Miranda couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, my mother is quite taken with you now that you’re assisting us financially. I’m sure she’ll fawn over you all evening.”

He downed the remainder of his wine in one swig. “Dear God, now I wish I hadn’t accepted the invitation.”

She giggled at his twisted, pained expression. “Oh, of course you must come. Drink the wine, appreciate the orchestra. After all, you’re paying for it.”

Ethan’s expression went from a playfully pained one to a truly pained one for a brief instant. His frown drew down and he looked at her evenly.

“No, Miranda. I believe it is
you
who are paying,” he said softly.

She tilted her head to look at him. Although his face was now unreadable, she could have sworn she heard regret in his voice.
But that was impossible. The Earl of Rothschild lived his life with no regrets. She’d heard him declare that fact many a time while she spied on him. He did what he did and dealt with the consequences, but he never looked back. He never apologized for who and what he was.

But now he looked at her like he wished…she didn’t know what he wished for. But there was a longing there that she completely understood, even if the cause was unclear. She was familiar with longing.

“Ethan,” she said softly, reaching for him. She cupped his cheek. “This is what I agreed to. I can’t complain. I don’t want to.”

He looked at her for a long time, then took the tray and pulled away to set it aside. When he returned to the bed, there was a new look in his eyes and she shivered at its implication.

“Ethan—” she began, but he rolled his body on top of hers, silencing her with a kiss that melted her resistance and aroused her senses. She was confused by his sudden ardor, but didn’t fight it. There was no purpose to that anymore. He knew he held enormous power over her.

In truth, she liked that dominance. That he could take any time he liked. That she would grow weak and wanting with just a fleeting touch.

He pushed the sheets away and opened his robe. Instantly, she wrapped her legs around his waist, lifting herself to his cock and moaning against his lips as he slipped inside. Her thoughts melted away and she surrendered to his touch.

Surrendered to him, forgetting any cost. Forgetting everything but how good he felt as he drove her over the edge of pleasure.

Ethan sighed as he slipped his arms from around Miranda’s body. In her sleep, she let out a little grumble, then arched against him before she rolled over.

Just that little action brought his body to rock hard and ready attention, but instead of taking advantage of her slightly parted legs, he slung the blanket over her naked, tempting backside and got to his feet.

He paced to the fire and stared into the dying flames. Tonight, something had changed between them. Oh, he had succeeded in reclaiming his power over her. He had dominated Miranda, taken her, made her beg even. But then something had shifted.

Afterward, when he normally itched for escape, he had actually enjoyed lying beside her, sharing food and conversation. Thanks to that, he understood so much more about her family. And he hadn’t garnered that information just as a weapon in this erotic war, either. He just wanted to
know
her, beyond her body.

That realization should have horrified him, but instead he felt a…peace about it. He
liked
Miranda, as much as he lusted after her. And why not? She was…interesting.

So long as he recognized the pitfalls to getting too close to her, there was no reason why he couldn’t enjoy their affair on every level. And when it was over, he would let go. He was certain of that.

Except, when he turned back to look at her, all that certainty faded, leaving him with only lust and something more troubling that he couldn’t define.

Ethan caught Miranda’s hand and pulled her back into the bed. She laughed as she hit the mattress and the sound pierced into his very soul. It was an uncommon sound, and after hearing more about her life, he understood why. Still, when Miranda laughed or smiled, he couldn’t help but do the same. He liked to see her playful side as much as her passionate side.

Well, almost as much. Rolling, he covered her body and kissed her. Her laughter was smothered and the giggles turned to moans.

She allowed him his pleasure for a few, too short, moments, then he felt her pushing against his chest.

“No, no,” she protested between groans as he suckled her neck and nipped her earlobe. “My mother expected me home a quarter of an hour ago as it is. If I am too late, she might send
someone with the carriage to find me. If they discover I’m not affiliated with Lady Inglewood, all will be lost.”

He rolled away with a noisy sigh. “Very well.”

She struggled to her feet and returned to buttoning the dress she’d retrieved from her small portmanteau. Another worn gown that wasn’t anything like what she deserved to wear. Ethan briefly imagined her in a shocking red satin with a plunging neckline and high waist. Something he could easily tug and reveal her…

“Ethan, are you listening?” she asked with a laugh.

He shook off the fantasy, though the raging erection that now tented the sheets wouldn’t be erased so quickly. “What is it?”

“I was saying that I shall see you in a few days at my mother’s gathering.”

He nodded absently as he watched her put her hair up. Her neck fascinated him. Her hair fascinated him.
She
fascinated him and he wished she didn’t have to go.

The realization jolted him and he pushed it away with a scowl. It was just lust, of course. Nothing more than lust. Soon it would fade.

Wouldn’t it?

Yes, yes. Of course it would. It had always faded before.

“Goodbye,” she said as she moved toward the door.

He flew out of the bed before she could leave and caught her arm. Spinning her around, he pushed her back against the wall and crushed her mouth with a kiss that left little doubt that he wanted her. She melted, hips arching against his naked ones, hands clenching at his bare back. Just as the desire became too much, he set her aside with a wicked smile.

“I will see you at the party.”

She nodded, dazed, and staggered out. As soon as she was gone, Ethan rested his head against the door with a curse. He should have been pleased that he could so easily control her desire. Control
her
.

And yet, he felt no triumph at conquering her. She might not have known it, but he had been conquered as well. When she spiraled out of control, he had, too. When she begged for his cock, it felt more like redemption than conquest.

And now he was standing by the door like a fool, wondering how he would survive the time before he next saw her.

Well, he knew one thing that would help him pass the time. With a grin, he grabbed for his dressing gown and headed into the hallway to find Winston. He had a plan for Miranda and if he wanted to be ready by the day of the party, he would need to move quickly.

“Do you know how much money Mother is spending on this party?” Penelope asked as she followed Miranda into her bedchamber and shut the door behind her.

Miranda sighed. She’d been home from Ethan’s for all of ten minutes and already her Mother had created new problems.

She sat at her dressing table and began to take down her hair. She blushed at her reflection, remembering the last time she saw herself with blonde hair tangled around her shoulders. Ethan had been behind her, driving into her clenching body and forcing her toward powerful, overwhelming pleasure. Even now, her body gave a little quiver just from the memory.

“Miranda?” Penelope said, stepping into the mirror’s reflection.

Miranda shook away the image. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be distracted.”

Her sister examined her face. “You look tired.”

Hot blood rushed to Miranda’s cheeks. If she looked tired, it was because she’d spent the night beneath Ethan’s sweat-slicked body, writhing in pleasure as he took her over and over again.

“Miranda?” Penelope’s voice was sharp enough to shock her from her pleasant memories.

“I, er—I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Does Lady Inglewood put you in some horrid servants’ chamber?” her sister asked with a frown. “I wish you didn’t have to sacrifice a day a week just to get into the dragon’s good graces.”

Guilt stabbed Miranda. Damn these lies that seemed to multiply every time her sister spoke to her.

She chose her response carefully. “You needn’t be upset. I don’t mind what I’m doing, really.”

“How can you not mind?” Penelope sighed. “You’re forced to sacrifice your time, your company, even your very body for us when I’m sure you’d rather be doing a hundred other things.”

Miranda gave a small smile. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.” Then she shook off her soft emotions. “At any rate, if it helps our family in the long run, I can put up with a great deal. Now, let’s not talk about my activities. Are you ready for the ball?”

Penelope pulled a face. “I suppose. I’ve been pinned and fitted and lectured and tested until I think I might lose my mind. But Mama seems satisfied that I won’t disgrace the family completely.” She sank into a worn chair beside the window with a frown. “So much rides on my success.”

With a start, Miranda realized that while she had been so caught up in Ethan, her sister had been having her own difficulties. Now that she was focused on Penelope, she noticed how pale her sister was. And if her own face was tired, Penelope seemed to be teetering on the edge of exhaustion. She was pale and dark circles marred the skin beneath her pretty eyes.

How could she have been so selfish as to miss all the signs?

Miranda pushed to her feet and came to stand beside her sister. She placed a hand on Penelope’s shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t pressure yourself so much. You needn’t find a husband right away. And if you don’t like anyone who approaches you, for heaven’s sake, don’t go accepting any proposals and sacrifice yourself on the alter of our family problems.”

“But if my Season fails—” Penelope began.

Miranda shook her head. “Then you will have another. And Beatrice will have one. And Winifred will have one.”

Her sister flinched. “I know we cannot afford that kind of expense! Mother has already spent through the amount Lord Rothschild put into our accounts.”

Miranda stepped back in shock. “What?”

Penelope’s gaze came up to hers. “I tried to tell you when I came in. Mother has all but thrown the money away. She’s gone positively wild buying new gowns and preparing the house for our guests.” She shook her head. “And since we don’t know how far Lord Rothschild’s kindness will stretch, this might be our only chance for me to find a husband.”

Miranda covered her eyes. Poor Ethan had no idea what he’d gotten into when he vowed to pay for her sister’s Season. Surely he would be horrified when he realized his generous first pay
ment toward her introduction to Society was already gone. Miranda could only hope he wouldn’t back out on the deal.

Although, after last night, he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to do so. Still, could her body really be worth so much to him? Especially since he could and
would
easily find another woman for his amusements. One who wouldn’t be such a drag on his purse.

The very thought pained her.

She pushed the feelings aside. She could do nothing about that situation now. She would simply have to discuss the finances with him later. Perhaps at the party.

“I will speak to Mama,” Miranda said on a sigh. “Though I don’t know how much good it will do. She refuses to be reined in. In fact, my admonishments only seem to drive her on to more outrageous expenditures.”

“I know. I tried, as well.” Penelope threw up her hands in frustration. “Why does she do this?”

Miranda paced to the window and looked down below over the grounds. “Perhaps it is her way to keeping hold of Father’s memory. He kept her in a fine fashion. If she faces the reality of how he lived, it will destroy her image of him. It will force her to admit that Papa wasn’t the sun and moon. He was only human, and a flawed one at that.”

Penelope shook her head. “I would think the truth would be more important to her than the false image of a dead man. I loved Papa, too, but I recognize his failings.”

Miranda looked at her sister over her shoulder. She had always seen Penelope as her equal, despite the two years separating them, but at that moment, her sister seemed very young. Innocent.

“The love between a man and woman is different than the love between a father and daughter,” she said softly. “Sometimes we see what we want to see.”

Penelope shook her head with an incredulous laugh. “As if you know anything about love.”

Miranda flinched. No, she’d never been in love. She felt something for Ethan, though. Something powerful and seductive that went far beyond the mere pleasure she received from his touch. Something that made her want to forget that he was playing a wicked game with her. That he was simply enjoying utterly debauching an innocent and that he would discard her as soon as he bored of the challenge.

“You’re right,” she said, forcing a brightness to her tone that she didn’t feel. “I know nothing about love. I certainly shouldn’t claim to understand Mama’s motives. But I doubt anything I say will keep her from doing whatever she wishes. So we’ll just hope that there is a wonderfully handsome, fabulously rich, perfectly kind gentleman who arrives at the party and is so charmed by you that he cannot stop himself from offering for your hand before the clock strikes midnight.”

Penelope laughed as she got up from the chair and moved to the chamber door. “You sound like you’re telling me a fairy tale. We both know that there are no happily ever after endings. I’ll leave you to refresh yourself before luncheon. You’ll need the rest to endure Mama’s endless chatter about the food for the ball. I’ll see you in a while.”

Miranda nodded after her sister, but when the door closed behind her, she faced the lawn outside again. No happily ever after endings.

The reasonable part of her knew that was true. She’d witnessed the muck their father had made of their lives. When she realized the double life he’d been perpetrating, it had crushed any illusions she had about knights in shining armor and love that trumped all vices.

But in the past few weeks she’d begun to hope, in some secret part of her mind, that there was still a little bit of a fairy tale left for someone. Her sister’s words reminded her not to count on wishes and princes.

Especially princes who made scandalous offers and overpowering demands that left her body aching and her heart longing for things she could never have.

“Ethan, it’s so nice to see you.”

Ethan got to his feet as Cassandra Willows entered her parlor. She held out her hands and kissed each cheek before she stepped back to look at him from head to toe. Her gaze was utterly familiar. After all, she had seen him wearing far less.

She smiled. “You always do cut a fine figure. But tell your tailor to put you in more blue. It’s always suited you most.”

She motioned to the seat he had vacated upon her entry and took her own place on the settee across from him.

Ethan laughed as he settled back into the chair “I will tell my tailor that the finest seamstress in all the country has that advice,” he reassured her.

He looked at Cassandra. Not long ago, he would have been trying to find a way to get her out of that lovely fitted frock she was wearing. But though he enjoyed the view of the swell of her
breasts enormously, he was surprised to find he had no interest in seeing anything more.

Not that she wasn’t beautiful. Cassandra’s dark auburn hair, petite frame and heavy, round breasts were still perfection. And he could tell by the way she smiled at him that she wouldn’t be opposed to sharing a free afternoon of pleasure.

He just…didn’t want to.

“Did you receive my note?” he asked, clearing his throat in the hopes that his discomfort would go away.

She nodded. “Yes. And I have done my best to make what you asked for as quickly as I could. It’s difficult to design a piece for a woman who I don’t know and cannot measure.”

He frowned. “Whatever you made for her, it cannot be worse than what she is wearing now, I assure you.”

“Hmmm, that bad, eh?”

“Wretched,” he admitted as he thought of Miranda’s worn clothing. “And what about the, er,
other item
?”

Cassandra smiled. In addition to creating beautiful gowns for ladies and courtesans alike, she had a thriving side business with toys and trinkets of a sensual nature. One that catered to a very select clientele.

“That is ready, as well.” She got to her feet and crossed the room to ring a bell beside the door. As she waited for her assistant, she turned to examine his face closely. “Since I received your summons yesterday, I have been nearly overcome with curiosity about who these gifts are for. I heard you didn’t take a lover with you to the estate this year.”

Ethan shrugged. He’d promised Miranda not to reveal her
identity and he didn’t intend to do so. “Rumors are a tricky beast, are they not?”

She smiled. “I told Richardson that he was wrong!”

Ethan didn’t answer one way or another, and before she demanded more information, Cassandra’s servant arrived with a box. She took the gift and nodded the girl away.

She turned back and held out the present with a smile. “Here.”

Ethan took it with a bit more interest than he wanted and opened the gift. He smiled at what he saw. “Perfect, thank you Cassandra.”

“You are very welcome. I’m glad I could oblige. Especially for the exorbitant fee you’re going to pay me.” They both laughed. “You must be bored with the young lady already, though. Are these things a goodbye gift?”

Ethan frowned. “No.”

Cassandra pulled back and surprise was plain on her face. “Really? I don’t think I’ve ever known you to buy a gift for a woman when it wasn’t a consolation for your parting. Tell me more about the lady who has inspired such generosity, my lord.”