Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need (26 page)

Sighing, I start this stupid, fucking conversation. "Yeah, man actually there is. It's about Lyric. You need to be careful D."

David sits up straight, raising an eyebrow at me. "Careful of what Jeremy?"

"That girl." Your sister...and me.

He looks confused now. "That girl? You mean Lyric?" Narrowing his eyes in sudden anger, he says, "What the fuck are you talking about man?"

"Fucking hell, D. Of course I mean Lyric. That girl has some serious issues dude." It's not altogether a lie, David told me about some of the issues she had because of her ex and I'm sure that has been fucking her up for awhile. I'm stretching though, trying to come up with something to cause him to doubt her.

"Jer, what the fuck is your problem? You barely know Lyric." He's still glaring at me, but he sounds perplexed and I know he's trying to figure out where the hell this is coming from.

"Yeah, Dave, you're right. I do barely know her. But, I know her type." This is really not going to end well.

David leans forward to snap, "Oh? And just what's her
type
Jeremy?"

I sigh, "She's just like Amy, man. As soon as something serious happens, she'll be gone." I can't believe I'm comparing this poor girl to Amy of all people. Hell, I can't believe I'm even bringing up her name considering the shit she put him through. I'm the worst fucking friend on the planet for doing this, for allowing SarahBeth to talk me into this. Now that I've started though, I have to see it through or this has all been for nothing and I look like an even bigger chump than I am.

"What the fuck ever Jeremy." David shakes his head, exasperated with this conversation. "You don't know Lyric like I do. She's nothing like Amy, and I really don't appreciate you comparing them. You have no idea what Lyric's life was like before she moved to Nashville. Judging her when you don't even know her is fucked up, my friend. Seriously. Fucked. Up."

"You're right, I don't know Lyric like you do. But, I know the type. Her and Amy? They're the exact same type. Lyric will fuck you over and you won't even see it coming. Just like Amy did. You forget man, I was the one who was there for that. I was the one who went back to Charlotte with you to empty your shit out of that apartment. I was there when you got drunk and acted like a little bitch," I say snidely, pissed off more at myself than him.

He drops his head in his hands, but doesn't get the chance to say anything else because the office door swings open, and the topic of our conversation walks in. Great...just great! His just keeps getting better. David's eyes widen when he sees her standing there and fuck if I don't feel guilty as hell for talking shit about her. I never even considered that she'd walk in on our conversation and even hear part of it. I know I look guilty when I turn my head to look at her. Now I'm just hoping she doesn't spill my secrets in retaliation.

Lyric glares at me, "Is there something you need to say?"

I hold my hands up like she's point a gun at me. "I was just telling David that he needed to be careful." What am I supposed to say? Well, you see Lyric I was telling David he should watch his back because I'm an asshole who's lying to his face on the daily? No, I can't be honest with my best friend right now because my girlfriend has me backed into a corner with her hair-brained scheme.

She bristles. "Careful? Around me? What do you think I'm going to do to him?" The look on her face is equal parts anger and hurt and I hate that I'm putting that look on anyone's face, especially when I have no justifiable reason.

"Honestly? I don't know what you're going to do to him. I just don't want my friend to get hurt." And there it is. The most hypocritical thing I have ever said. I don't want
you
to hurt my friend, because
my
secret will probably kill him...and then he's probably kill me.

Lyric holds up a hand, "Okay, let me make sure I have this right." As she starts listing off my "reasons", she ticks them off on her fingers. "First, you don't know what I'm going to do to him, you just know that I'm going to do something. Second, I'm just like Amy. Third, I'm going to un from him when things get hard. Fourth, I have some serious issues. And, last but not least, I'm going to fuck him over, but he won't see it coming." Then, she turns to David and raises and eyebrow, asking, "Did I get all that correct?"

David turns to me. "Well, did she?" I can't tell if he's angry with her, or proud of her. Hell, I'm not sure which one I am either at this point.

I push my glasses up higher on my face before blowing out a breath. "Yeah, that's pretty much it." Lyric crosses the room to poke me in the chest, shocking the shit out of me. Damn that hurt! "Shit you have a pointy finger," I tell her, rubbing the spot she poked.

"Look, you asshole, I don't know who you think you are, but you don't know me at all. Shame on you for even acting like you do. I don't know what your problem is, or why you've never liked me, but I'm nothing like that girl. I'm sure that from what you know about me, running does seem to be my M.O., but I love David. I would never treat him the way Amy did." David and I both stare at her in shock, and when she realizes what she just said, the color drains from her face and she looks like she's about to pass out.

I grab her elbow to keep her from falling. "Um, are you okay?" The guilt from this conversation is eating me alive. I'm the reason for all of this drama, and I
hate
fucking drama.

"I'm...I'm...fine," she stutters before jerking her elbow out of my hand and backing towards the door. "I, uh, I really need to just go." She turns around to reach for the door and David shoots out of his chair to go after her.

Lyric doesn't get the door open before David stops her, leaning over to say something in her ear. They have a whispered conversation before she turns around to face him and he cups her cheek in his hand.

"Careful darlin'," he says, his voice so low I can barely hear him. "You probably want to stick around for this." Lyric shakes her head; almost frantic but doesn't say anything. David bends his knees so that he can be at eye level with her, saying, "Hey, baby, I need you to listen to me. Just listen. Can you do that?" She nods and he turns to face me. "Can you give us a minute Jer?" The look in his eyes tells me I better say yes, so I do, walking over to the door as he leads Lyric over to his desk.

I shut the door behind me before leaning back against it.
Fuck
! I can't believe I just did that. I can't fucking believe Lyric walked in on that conversation, and heard every bad thing I said about her, and that I hurt her that way. And for what? Because SarahBeth doesn't want her big brother to know that she's spending more nights in my bed than her own? Fuck this. I send SarahBeth a quick text that says:

It's done. We need to talk.

Walking away from David's office door, I head out to my car to go back to work. SarahBeth doesn't know it yet, but tonight? We won't be having a fun conversation. This shit has to end. All this secret keeping and problem causing is going to backfire on us in a big fucking way and I know she isn't prepared to deal with the fallout. I never should have let her manipulate me into hiding and lying. I know better, I know exactly what secrets and lies do to people.

SarahBeth

J
eremy's
we need to talk
text message has had me freaking out all day, almost scared to go back home. David's with Lyric, so I know this talk is going to happen as soon as I walk in the door. I hang out at Livvie's until I absolutely have to leave because she's going out with Emmett, even though she offered to cancel her plans if I wanted to talk about what's going on. Since talking is the last thing I want to do tonight, I'm heading home.

When I finally get there, it's late. Walking inside, I find Jeremy sitting on the couch watching the door and waiting for me. My steps slow as I walk towards him and he doesn't get up from the couch. Instead, he stays seated, watching me cross the room. When I'm standing in front of him, he grabs my hips, pulling me down so that I'm straddling his lap and we are almost eye level.

"Hey Little Bit," he murmurs, his voice and eyes gentle, something I was definitely not expecting. I expected him to yell at me as soon as I walked in the door, and to tell me he wanted nothing more to do with me.

I feel my eyes fill with tears as I respond. "Hey." Jeremy brushes the tears from my cheeks, whispering soothing words to calm me down.

"Baby, please don't cry," he says. "It's all going to be okay. I just want to
talk
. No yelling, no fighting...just talk." I nod, still unable to speak due to the huge lump in my throat. He sighs, pulling me into him so that I'm lying against his chest, my head resting in the crook of his neck as he rubs my back soothingly. All the stress from the past twenty-four hours culminates in me sobbing into his neck until I cry myself to sleep.

I wake up slowly, having only slept for about thirty minutes, still on Jeremy's lap, in his embrace. Lifting my head, he's smiling down at me, his eyes clear and bright. "Have I told you that I love you, SarahBeth?"

I go still. I told him last night I was in love with him, but at the time he didn't say anything in return. "You do?" I whisper, unable to believe he said the words. It's not the first time he's told me he loves me, but it
is
the first time since we decided to be a couple.

"Silly girl, how could you ever doubt that? I've loved you your entire life in one way or another, but my feelings have been deepening for a long time now." He presses a soft kiss to my lips before saying, "And now we need to have that chat." His eyes narrow and he becomes the Jeremy who scolds me. I'm not a fan of that Jeremy. "I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I can't hide our relationship from your brother. You have no idea how horrible I felt today telling him he needs to be careful around Lyric, especially when she walked in on us and let me know she heard the entire conversation." He frowns ,and I gasp. I had no idea Lyric heard whatever he told David.

I'm so stupid. Instead of turning her against me, I should have tried to make her my ally. But no, I had to act like a child and make things a hundred times worse. "I know," I tell Jeremy quietly. He's right. Now that Lyric knows, it's only a matter of time before everything comes out and it's not going to be pretty.

Jeremy's look is skeptical. "We need to tell him soon, SarahBeth. If we wait much longer, he's going to figure it out on his own even if she doesn't tell him, because I can't stay away from you."

"My birthday is in two weeks. Can we do it after that? I promise, we can do it the day after if you want, I just don't want my birthday to be all messed up because everyone is fighting. Let me have that and I'll do whatever you want!" I'm pleading with him, but I really do just want to enjoy turning twenty-one. Maybe once I'm completely legal, David will calm down and we'll be able to have a civil conversation about the fact that I'm in love with his best friend and he's in love with me.

He studies me intently before finally nodding. "I'll give you two weeks, and then I'm telling him. No more hiding, no more sneaking around." His hands come up to rest on either side of my neck as he stares heatedly into my eyes. "No more having to wait for big brother David to be gone so I can hold you." The heat in his eyes has me squirming on his lap. He groans at the contact before sliding a hand into my hair and angling my head so that he can kiss me deeply.

We're both breathing heavily, my hands under Jeremy's shirt and his free hand moves down to grip my behind, moving me against him and letting me feel how aroused he is, when the door slams shut and he shoves me onto the couch beside him. We're staring wide-eyed at each other when my brother walks into the room, stopping dead in his tracks and narrowing his eyes at us.

"What's going on?" he asks warily, looking back and forth between Jeremy and me.
Shit
. Does he know something? Has he figured it out? Is this is? Oh man, what are we going to do.

Jeremy clears his throat, "Uh, nothing, man. We were just fooling around. SB's easy to piss off." Oh that is so not going to fly. Jeremy really needs to learn how to be a better liar, at least for the next two weeks.

"Uh huh." David looks skeptical, but he lets it go, walking out of the room. Jeremy and I just look at each other before we each leave the room, going to our separate rooms to pretend once more.