Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?... (33 page)

He began brushing my hair back, placing his hand against my cheek. He took my hand again, and I felt his warm touch. My heart began to beat too fast. Then there was a fast, high-pitched n
oise.

I heard something bleeping. It was getting faster, and there was this two-tone noise. An alarm? I just wanted someone to turn it off. I tried to open my eyes. I tried to squeeze Alfie’s hand, but there was nothing. I couldn’t move. I was paral
yzed.

I remember feeling anxious. My heart was beating too quickly, and I had pain in the center my chest. I just wanted someone to turn off the noise. People came into the room, their voices urgent. “You need to wait outside,” I heard a woman
say.

“I’m not leaving her,” Alfie st
ated.

“Come on, dude, you need to let them help her.” I recognized Rick’s voice. Rick and Alfie were in the room. What was Rick doing here? Why couldn’t I open my eyes? I needed to breathe, my heart was flip-flopping. And my chest got tighter. I started to drift toward the blackness again, at least the noise had stopped, I tho
ught.

Chapter 33
– Eavesdropping

{You stole my heart, right at the start that one glance, had my heart in a trance. You spun me a line, and it’s suspended in time in our
song.

If I’ve missed my chance with you, I don’t know what to do, there’s no reason to live When I only exist to be near you. Come home t
o me.

From that moment on, it’s been a terrible crime, I wanted to claim you, for you to be mine. To make you my own, for me to be yours cuz you ow
n me.

If I’ve missed my chance with you I don’t know what to do, there’s no reason to live when I only exist to be near you. So come on home t
o me.}

T
he next time I was semi-conscious I heard Alfie singing and strumming his guitar. It was a new song. I’d never heard it before. It had the sweetest music, but the saddest melody I’ve ever heard. It was an ingenious attempt at a love song. Not really the kind of lyrics he was used to wri
ting.

“I’m a patient man, Lily. Take your time, honey. I’m gonna be right here when you wake up, and I’m gonna love you even more than I do right now,” Alfie told me when he’d finished singing. He sounded tired, squeezing my hand, and exhaling deeply. I tried to squeeze his back, but nothing happ
ened.

Alfie started talking to me again. “There are so many things I’ve still got to share with you. I need you to know what you mean to me, Lily, and I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to do that in the right way so far. I guess I should have just given in to my feelings in the beginning and dated you like any normal guy would
have.

“Seeing you lying here, so fucking beautiful, but kind of lifeless, is killing me. I need to see those big, beautiful, eyes of yours again. I need to hear that fucking cute giggle you have, and most of all, I need to feel your warm body snuggled up close next to
mine.

“It doesn’t matter where you’ve gone…in that little locked down world you’re in, feeling your warm hand in mine and hearing your strong heartbeat on that monitor over there, lets me know you’re very much alive. It gives me hope.” He sighed heavily. “I’ll wait here my whole fucking life if I have to as long as there’s
hope.”

His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “I won’t go on without you by my side, I fucking refuse to. Lily, when you finally come back with me, I’m gonna be everything you need, anything you want. Just come back to me, honey. Whenever you’re ready. I love you so much.” He snickered. “Fuck I’ll even buy you flowers. I might as well, cuz you already own my heart. Maybe I am the heart and flowers kind after all, I must have just been waiting on you to realize
that.”

I heard Alfie tap something into his cell. “Get me Calla Lilies. I don’t know how many, loads; I want this room full of flowers when Lily wakes up. Yeah, today, as soon as they can get them here.” Something bounced softly on the bed, and I thought at the time it was Alfie’s cell. He picked my hand up and placed it in his a
gain.

“Damn, Lily, I’ve just admitted I’m a pussy, you better make it worth my while and wake the fuck up, girl.” I thought I smiled. Alfie didn’t react. So it must have been in my head. I became really drowsy again, and I had no fight; everything went black again. Alfie had put the radio on and ‘Best Thing,’ by Anthem Lights was playing so
ftly.

“God, she looks so fucking frail lying there.” Jack! Jack was in the room, and there was an overpowering smell of lilies. “If anything happens to her, I don’t know what I’d do. I was in Japan covering a story when I got your call. Fuck Alfie, has it been a week, alr
eady?”

Jack sounded choked, and Alfie’s voice sounded tired, although he always spoke to me so positively all the time.
I knew I had to try harder to wake up. I needed to stop their worry and let them know I was okay. I could hear Jack crying. No Jack don’t cry, I’m okay I’m just really, really tired. I thought I was shouting at him, but it was still in my
head.

The noise I’ve come to recognize as a heart monitor started its bleeping faster. Sounded like a crazy-assed metronome, keeping time with my heart. I remembered thinking, was that how fast my heart was bea
ting?

“Fuck Jack, stop crying, something’s happening, I don’t think she likes what you’re doing,” Alfie was telling
Jack.

I felt Alfie squeeze my hand, and he began speaking softly, soothingly to me, his thumb grazing the back of it as he spoke. “Okay, honey, don’t worry. Jack’s just a bit overwhelmed at seeing you for the first
time.”

I squeezed his hand back. “Did you see that? Did you fucking see that? She squeezed my hand. Lily do it again, squeeze my hand sweetheart, let me know you can hear me,” he prom
pted.

I put everything I had into my hand and squeezed. “Sweet Jesus, thank you. Quick! Get someone, Jack. I think she’s waking up.” I heard the door bang, and Jack’s voice shouting in the dist
ance.

Alfie spoke calmly again. “Take your time, honey. Come back to me when you’re ready. I’ll be right here, whenever you want, I’m right here.” He kissed my hand, and I heard Jack come back in the room with a w
oman.

“Well that’s a very good sign. She’s starting to wake up. You must have the magic touch, keep talking to her. She likes the sound of your voice. Keep it light and positive.” I heard the door close a
gain.

“Don’t overanalyze it Alfie, I’ve been in her life for most of it,” Jack
said.

Alfie squeezed my hand when he spoke back. “Yeah, kinda says a lot though, when I’ve been sitting here for a week doing all kinds of shit, trying to reach her and you’re here five minutes and her heart goes bat-shit c
razy.”

Alfie was so wrong. I just couldn’t cope with Jack crying. I enjoyed hearing what Alfie was thinking. I had never known for sure exactly what he was thinking from time to time, and this had been my chance to hear all the things that were in his h
eart.

I squeezed Alfie’s hand again, and I tried my hardest to open my eyes. A crack of blurry light appeared then I managed to focus. Alfie was sitting on the chair to my left, and Jack was standing by the window. I had never seen so many flowers in one room in all my
life.

I wanted to see them. I wanted to see Alfie and Jack but I couldn’t keep my eyes open, it was too tiring. “Did you see that? She looked straight at me,” Alfie exclaimed. “Lily? Can you hear me? Open your eyes for me, sweetheart.” I forced my eyes open, and Alfie’s smile melted my heart. I fell in love all over again when his eyes met
mine.

“Hey,” he cooed. “Hi sleepy head, don’t be afraid, you’re okay. God, honey, I’ve missed you, welcome back. Don’t panic Lily, I got you. You’re in the hospital, honey, but you’re going to be just
fine.”

Jack came bounding across the room and almost grabbed me out of the bed. “Thank you, God!” He kissed my face tenderly. “Don’t you ever do this to me again,” he scowled. His face was full of con
cern.

Alfie’s voice cut in. “You’ve been asleep for a week, Lily. One night after a concert, you told me could sleep for a week because you were so tired, I never expected you to demonstrate it to me.” He chuc
kled.

Alfie had pressed the buzzer and a redheaded woman in a nurse’s uniform came through the door. As soon as she started to speak, I realized that she’d been around a lot. I’d heard her talking to Alfie in the past, and today, to Jack, just before I wok
e up.

I looked around the room. It was like a funeral parlor. There were so many lilies that every surface apart from the floor had displays of flowers. There were some in vases, some in baskets, and a few in that cellophane
wrap.

The flowers were beautiful, but the smell was overpowering. I wasn’t going to complain, because Alfie had put them there. “So… I thought you weren’t the hearts-and-flowers kind of guy? What’s happened to you Alfie?” I cro
aked.

He ran his hand through his hair, and even though he was tired, the smile shined in his eyes. “You’re not allowed to mention this after you leave this room. I won’t have my hard-hearted reputation tainted just because I love you. Better get your cell out and snap a few pictures because the only other time I’d ever buy flowers would be for a wed
ding.”

I suddenly remembered that Elle and Drew were getting married and tried to sit up. “Shit!” My right arm hurt like hell. I cried out in pain. “What’s wrong with my arm?” I looked down, and it was heavily bandaged from my hand to my e
lbow.

“Do you remember what happened, Lily?” What happened? The last thing I remembered was playing in a stadium and it was raining, then nothing after
that.

“You were electrocuted. You’re lucky to be alive. You have a contact burn on your right hand and forearm. It happened when you started to play your guitar. One of the cables had a break in it and wasn’t fully insulated. The rain conducted the electricity when you played with the plectrum. An electrical surge entered your body on that
side.

“I saw the whole thing, and it’s a sight I still see, every time I close my eyes.” I bunched my brows, confused at how he could have seen me when he was supposed to be in Lo
ndon.

“You’re wondering why I was there, aren’t you. I used my Christmas present from you to come and see you that night. I couldn’t stay away any longer. Sometimes things happen for a reason, and I guess I was supposed to be t
here.

“You were very lucky the stadium has its own medical team and defibrillator, so they were able to restart your heart quickly.” I could hardly believe what he was saying. I didn’t really remember that much abou
t it.

“You’re not going to be playing your guitar for a while. The doctors said there should be a minimal amount of scaring, but you’re going to need intensive physical therapy on your arm, because the muscles and nerves were affected by the s
urge.”

I suddenly remembered about the XrAid guys. “Where is Lennon, Cody and the others?” I realized that I never heard their voices before I woke up. Alfie smiled and rubbed my
hand.

“They’re playing alone, Lily. I’ve been keeping them updated on your progress, but they have a contract with Cobham Street, and they needed to finish the commitment they made to the
tour.”

I felt awful that they had to go on without me, especially after seeing what had happened to me, but Alfie was right, the show must go on

There was one thing that was still gnawing at me. Alice. “I saw the pictures of you and Alice, Alfie.” He smirked and exhaled in a kind of snicker. “Yeah, that. You know she’s gay right?” I stared at him wondering why he let her sit on his lap, and he must have known how that would have affected me. As if he read my mind he started to exp
lain.

“She was on my lap as a message Lily. No woman could come near me, she was protecting your position from the groupies and fans. I figured Rick would tell you about her so that you wouldn’t worry.” So Rick was right after
all.

My parents arrived, and my dad hugged me tightly. “Hello sweetheart, you had us all scared for a while, guess you were waiting for Jack to show before you woke up.” Dad smiled his tender smile, full of love, and I could see the relief on his
face.

“The doctor says that there are a few tests to make sure there are no gaps in your memory bank, and then we can take you home in a couple of
days.”

As if the doctor had heard my dad, Dr. Scott came into the room. “Can everyone give us a few minutes, I just want to ask Lily some questions, and she is going to need to rest again afterwards. We don’t want her getting tired out.” He was right, I was drained and feeling a little overwhelmed at everything I’d learned since opening my
eyes.

Alfie didn’t want to leave the room, insisting he could stay with me, but the doctor was firm, telling him that I would perform better without any distract
ions.

Seeing the torn look on Alfie’s face between wanting me to perform well and having to leave me here alone was painful. I shook my head. “Please, can he stay, I want him here.” The doctor hesitated, but when he saw I was becoming tearful, he agreed that Alfie could stay in the room, as long as he was not directly in my field of vision or touchin
g me.

Alfie sat on a small leather couch that was over by the window, and the doctor then gave me the third degree about my memories both since I was a child and what happened immediately before the acci
dent.

He was satisfied that my memory was intact and smiled at me. “We’ll just run one more MRI tomorrow, and hopefully we’ll be able to give you the all clear to go
home.”

Alfie stood and walked over to me. He was smiling. “So,” he said, and the wicked glint in his eye told me he was going to be up to mischief. “You remember when you agreed to marry me the other day.” It wasn’t a question, more of state
ment.