Everything I want: Will Alfie and Lily's love survive?... (29 page)

“I know, but still…are you sure, he’s definitely studying something about our window. Maybe it’s flawed, and he can see me. I’m definitely not putting the light on in here when it gets
dark.”

Alfie smirked. “Oh, no lights, eh? So we’re having blind sex ton
ight?”

I exhaled loudly. “Only you would turn my concerns to your advantage, Alfie.” I giggled, but it was it was going to take some coaxing for me to be comfortable with that big ass window right at the side of the bed. Already, I had decided to claim the other side of the bed for
sure.

Once Alfie started kissing me and stroked his fingers lazily down my back, I was much less worried about people seeing me, and much more interested in what he was going to do
next.

We had our first tryst on the bus within an hour of being on there. Honestly, we were like bunnies since we’d gotten some space to be a
lone.

Every chance we had was mostly spent in bed. If we weren’t having sex, we were planning. People kept telling me that once the novelty wore off, couples tended not to have as much sex in their relations
hips.

As much as I tried to imagine that, I couldn’t see it ever being the case with us. We both seemed to be sexually compatible, and there had never been a problem with the physical side of our relation
ship.

Alfie rolled me over and lifted my arms above my head. “My favorite position for
you.”

I smirked. “It is? Why is
that?”

Alfie grinned. “You’re completely submissive.” I shook my head and lifted my head forward, lightly nipping his
neck.

He gasped, “Jesus.” His voice immediately sounded t
hick.

“Yeah, I’m submissive Alfie. In your dreams, h
oney.”

Chapter 29
– Buses

T
he following nine days flew by. Alfie and I had settled into a great little lifestyle cocooned on the bus. Our own little bubble and it was an incredible feeling. We just got in deeper and deeper during that time. I couldn’t help thinking that we should have been like this from the start. It was the first real chance we had to really learn more about each o
ther.

Alfie still took me to the special spots he’d visited and gradually replaced most of the pictures in my album with ones of the both of us. He kept telling me every day how much he loved me, and even when fans recognized him and wanted to intrude in our special time, Alfie balanced it just r
ight.

I wasn’t neglected. I was in awe of his humble approach, and his love for me. We couldn’t have been happier. The hours we spent on the bus together were the probably the happiest I’ve ever had in my life. Just cuddling up with each other and spending time with Elle and Drew felt spe
cial.

We all made plans for vacations together in the future, the trip to Hawaii was going to be the first, and shared stuff about our pasts that we didn’t know about each other. I learned so much about Alfie and Drew and just how much they had been through toge
ther.

Drew had helped Alfie with Layla when his mom was dying. She was still in high school and didn’t have a car. Alfie told us how Drew took on the task of ensuring that she got to and from school and even helped her with homework, while Alfie drove his dad back and forth to the hospital to see his
mom.

Hearing how Drew had supported Alfie just confirmed my initial feelings about Drew. What a great guy and I was really happy for Elle. She had someone special, and she deserved the
best.

Elle and Drew made a lot of wedding plans during the tour, and because Alfie and I were playing key roles in the wedding, it was good that we got to do everything face to face instead of trying to arrange stuff by p
hone.

The wedding was due to take place three weeks after both Cobham Street and Crakt Soundzz tours’ finished, so things were still to be done, and there were a lot of last minute arrangements to do when we got home to Lo
ndon.

They decided on London for their wedding, because Elle had tons of relatives. The guys from XrAid were excited about it too, because they were getting to spend a lot of time in my home
town.

I knew my dad was making plans to do a lot with them and had taken some time off from his business to devote to them. I was excited to keep Alfie with me in London for a while as well. We needed a do over there to make new memories, since his last time in London had ended on such a sour
note.

Traveling up through Italy into Switzerland, and then on to Germany, was incredible. Between gigs and fancy restaurants, we got to experience the mundane, normal things that couples did. We watched YouTube clips, laughing at some crazy people, and I even shared my kindle with Alfie when he wanted to read some of an erotic book I had been halfway through when we got on the plane back in Flo
rida.

By the time we reached Paris, I was feeling really sad the days had gone too quickly, and I would have to leave after Paris. This was the only city where we had two consecutive days off, and Alfie wanted to make the most o
f it.

A tour bus took us on a whirlwind tour of all cultural highlights such as the Champs De Lyse and the Arch De Triumph. Alfie was in a beanie hat and a trench coat, which made me giggle a lot. Personally I felt he was much more noticeable in his disguise, but then I’d notice him anyw
here.

Camera shutter noise clicked incessantly as Alfie took pictures of us at all the sights. We ate lunch near the Eiffel Tower, before heading to the top. It was an amazing couple of days, but what made it more awesome was that we did it toge
ther.

“Perfection.” Alfie was staring through the lens of his camera. I was standing with Paris as my backdrop. “Did I ever mention how hot you are, Lily?” He smirked. I could only just see his mouth, the rest of him covered by his obscenely large
lens.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I te
ased.

“Oh, I know,” he teased back, as he dropped the camera to his side and tugged me quickly into his chest, crushing his lips to mine. As he broke the kiss, he smiled. “You are the love of my life, you do know that, right?” he said, squeezing me. I smiled, still feeling breathless from our
kiss.

“I do know, Alfie. And you are mine,” I stated matter-of-fa
ctly.

“I am,” he confirmed. We both knew it was our last day together. Alfie had booked us into a hotel for the night and instead of eating in the restaurant, he had a selection of foods brought to the s
uite.

After we had made love slowly twice, I lay with my head on his stomach. Alfie picked up my hand and laced our fingers together. A lump formed in my throat, and I was choked. I felt sick that we weren’t going to be together after today. “You’re really quiet, Lily. You okay?” I swallowed audibly with a loud click, trying not to cry. I didn’t want to ruin the precious time we had toge
ther.

“Mmm, yeah I’m fine.” Alfie scooted down and turned me in the crook of his arm to face
him.

“Nope, Lily. I know you. Come on, what’s up?” I exhaled shakily, still trying not to cry. “I’ve just had such an amazing time with you, and I don’t want it to
end.”

Alfie smiled affectionately and stroked my hair. “Having second thoughts about the Cobham Street
tour?”

I nodded and closed my eyes, still struggling with my emotions. “Yeah, but it’s the right thing to do for X
rAid.”

Alfie leaned in and kissed my forehead before exhaling raggedly. “It’s only two weeks, Lily. We can do that, right? It’ll go faster than you think. Plus we’ve got face-time and our phones. We’ll be okay.” I felt a little hurt that he didn’t seem as devastated as I was that we weren’t going to be toge
ther.

I shrugged off the bad vibe I had, but it was in the back of my mind and kind of marred the rest of the night. It had become difficult to look at him at times today, because leaving him behind was going to hurt so b
adly.

Sometimes I wondered what he was thinking because one minute he would be laughing and joking around, and the next, he was kind of withdrawn. I caught him watching me when he thought I wasn’t looking, a sad look in his
eyes.

That last night together I lay awake listening to Alfie’s even breathing. His warm body cocooned mine in a tight, possessive embrace. I didn’t want daylight to come. I had no idea how I was going to be able to leave him and get on the other bus with my band. I eventually fell asleep, but not before my eyes stung with silent tears, and my head
hurt.

When I woke up, Alfie had already gone to rehearse over at the concert venue. Our buses were in a cordoned off area at the back of the stadium with tight secu
rity.

My heart sunk to my stomach when I reached out and found his side of the bed cold and empty. Dragging myself out of bed, I tried to find the motivation to face what was going to be a very difficult day fo
r me.

Elle sat on the bed talking to me as I packed my trunk to transfer to the other bus that I would be sharing with my bandmates. I could see that she was feeling pretty much like I was about us our time together en
ding.

“Don’t worry, Lily, it’s only a couple of weeks then we get set loose in Lo
ndon.”

I nodded, but the tears flowed down my cheeks anyway. “I don’t want to cry in front of Alfie, Elle. I need to be strong about this. It was my choice after
all.”

Elle stared at me and shook her head. “You need to stop with this bullshit,
Lily.”

I scowled at her, surprised that she was ragging on me. “What in the hell does that
mean?”

Elle walked over to me and sat me down on the bed, the mattress sagging as she sat back down close to me. She stared at her hands, rubbing them together then smoothed the front of her top
down.

“Lily, you can’t be with Alfie because of the music, and when you get a solution to that, you can’t be with him because of the band. You’re the one that keeps placing obstacles in the way. Alfie’s already told you that you can tour permanently with
him.”

She pursed her lips and looked seriously at me. “Listen, I used to feel really bad for you, but knowing Alfie, and seeing how he feels about you, it’s him that I’m starting to worry about. Alfie’s just happy to be with you. I’ve never seen him so happy and content since you’ve been ar
ound.”

She stood up and crossed her arms across her chest. “You know I love you, Lily, and I want you to be happy.” She breathed out heavily. “To be honest you’re the one putting conditions on your relation
ship.”

Elle talking to me this way stung. She was the one who always had my back. I couldn’t believe she was judging me after everything I had gone through. “You might be happy to give up everything for Drew, but why should I do that? I’ve worked hard to get where I am now.” As soon as I said it, I wished I could have taken my words
back.

“Are you really going to pull that shit on me, Lily? You’re telling me my training was less valuable than what you’re doing? My career and all the pain I went through, fifteen years of dance class, yoga, and endurance training, to get on that West End stage wasn’t as hard as what you’ve achi
eved?”

She was really ticked at me now. “You went to one audition Lily. You hit the fucking jackpot with XrAid. I went to twenty-seven auditions, all the time knowing that I was good enough, but wondering if it would be my day, every time.” She swallowed hard, looking more agit
ated.

“You have no idea what that feels like. The constant rejections. Apart from that, half the time the girls being chosen had already been on the casting couch, and I never stood a chance before I even put myself out there. The only
real
difference between you and me, Lily, is that I love Drew more than I love dancing.” She wagged her finger between us to emphasize her p
oint.

Elle looked down at her hands and began pulling her fingers. “I’m not going to lie, Lily. It was a hell of an adjustment for me, but one I’d do again and again, because Drew means that much to me. The real question you have to ask yourself is exactly how much does Alfie mean to you?” My jaw dropped, Elle and I had never had a cross word before, and here she was tearing me a new
one.

“You don’t get it, Elle. Alfie means everything to me.” She cocked one eyebrow at me. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Lily. If that’s so, why are you putting distance between
you?”

I was fed up with her take on things now. “Listen, Elle, I’d appreciate it if you would just take your opinions somewhere else and let me finish up
here.”

Elle stood up and squeezed my shoulder. “Someone’s got to make you see sense, Lily. A guy like Alfie won’t stick around forever, while you pick and choose what parts of a relationship you’re willing to give him.” She walked out of the room and closed the door quietly behind
her.

By the time I’d finished packing, Alfie still wasn’t back from the sound check. I was hoping to spend some time with him before our bus
left.

Lennon appeared at the door. “We’re almost done, Lily; we need to get on the road in fifteen minutes.” I twisted my lips, thinking that the time had come for me to say goodbye to Alfie. It had been the one thing in all of this I was dreading, and I was wishing I didn’t have to do it
now.

We were leaving for Munich and had a hard five days ahead of us before we had another day off. Sound checks and rehearsals awaited us as soon as we arrived. Running out the bus door, I headed over to the venue to find A
lfie.

The guys weren’t on stage or in the dressing rooms, and I was all out of places to look. My heart was sinking to the pit of my stomach. I was going to have to leave without seeing him. I had missed him this morning, and he hadn’t come back to se
e me.

I doubled back and checked again, asking the crew that were around if they had seen where they had gone, but no one knew anything. I felt sick that I was leaving, and I knew that when I went back to the bus, I would have run out of
time.

Hell, I already had. We should have been on the road about ten minutes ago. Cody was coming in the stage door just as I was about to cross into the area where our buses were pa
rked.

“There you are, we need to get going, Lily. We’ve got a lot to do when we get t
here.”

I nodded. “Yeah, sorry Cody, I know, but I can’t find Alfie to say goo
dbye.”