EXONERATION (INTERFERENCE) (17 page)

“He didn’t fight you on it? I would have!”

“You wouldn’t have had to,” I said, and blushed.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, Parker really believes that there’s a chance that this is his baby,” I admitted quietly.

He looked into my eyes for the truth, and as my eyes filled with tears he said, “He’s your husband. And as much I hate the thought of him touching you, I’m hardly in any position to complain that you slept with him.”

I took a deep breath and said, “But, that’s just it. I wasn’t with him, I closed my eyes and pretended every touch, every kiss…was from you.”

He didn’t say anything, just stared at me with longing in his eyes.

“The worst part was that he really thought we connected, like he finally got through to me. That was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

“Rebecca, Parker’s always known you don’t love him.”

“No, that’s not true. I’ve told him…over and over again, but he never really believed it. He honestly believes that you were just a fling and that he’s always been my true love.”

“He’s delusional, then.”

“Maybe, but the fact is, he believes this baby is his, and he’s going to fight me tooth and nail for custody.”

He stood up and paced the room, lost in thought. Finally, he sighed and turned to me, “Um, I hate to ask, but if you were with him, then how do you know the baby’s not his?”

“It was the night after you kissed me in the park. Shannon told everyone at dinner that her friend, the vet, kissed me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. But, Parker broke down and begged me to try and make it work. He was so hurt. I felt so guilty…not for kissing you, but for lying to him, and everyone else. I didn’t want to tell anyone you were back. It was my secret. I knew that once they knew, I’d have to stop seeing you. But, he was so hurt, and I felt so guilty for lying, and for wanting you, that I simply led him upstairs and…”

“I don’t want any details.”

I looked down. “Believe me, you were there.”

He swallowed hard and said, “But, just because you imagined…me, doesn’t mean it’s not his baby,” he said.

I rolled my eyes. “I know that. But, I used my diaphragm that night.”

“But, not with me?”

“Um, I don’t carry it with me, and I wasn’t planning on being alone in your apartment that morning.”

“What about the next day, in your room?”

I shook my head. “The only reason I got the stupid diaphragm at all was to show intent. I figured that maybe he’d be out of the mood by the time I managed to put the stupid thing in. It’s kind of a pain, but I remembered to use it the one night…with Parker. The only thing I think about when I’m with you…is you.”

He leaned over to kiss me just as my bedroom door opened.

“DAD!”

“Don’t dad me, young lady. This is still my house. The door stays open!”

I rolled my eyes and yelled, “Shut the door…” but he was gone.

Shane got up and shut and locked the door, smiling as he walked back over to the chair.

I looked up at him and said, “So um, what else did you do in New York?”

“It was all I could do to keep up with my homework. I was taking so many
courses at once, trying to stay busy and keep my mind off you that I didn’t have time for anything else.”

“Um, you obviously had some…free time,” I said, and blushed.

He touched my cheek and said, “God, I missed that blush.” He sat back and said, “I told you, I was busy with school. I didn’t have time for much else.”

I looked down, not wanting to pry, but wanting to know if there had been someone in his life. I took a deep breath and said, “Was there…someone?”

“Someone?”

“Yeah, six years is a long time.”

“You mean to be celibate?”

I nodded.

“I won’t lie to you, I slept with some women, but I never had a relationship with any of them. It was just sex.”

“You um, you…learned a lot,” I swallowed hard, waiting for the heat to fill my cheeks.

“Some. I um, I’d love to crawl in there and show you just how much, but besides the fact that we can’t hurt the baby, I’m finding myself very lucky just to be sitting at your side in this house…in this bedroom. I don’t want to push your father too far. It was nice that he called me.”

“He called you?”

“Yeah. He called me from the hospital and told me you needed me. He shocked the hell out of me.”

“Wh
y would he do that? He hates…”

“I know he hates me. I hurt you, and for that I’m sorry. But, Rebecca, I’ve never stopped loving you. I know I s
houldn’t have taken the money…”

“But, you did…and you left me.”

“I wrote every day! I was so angry. I didn’t know who set me up, I was confused and I kept waiting for you to write back, or visit me. I paced day in and day out. If I wasn’t writing to you, I was pacing. At first I was so hurt that you didn’t write back, and then I figured that your parents might be the reason, so I kept writing. I knew one day, you’d pick up the mail…you’d find a letter. But, you never did. I never heard from you. I was devastated.”

I had tears in my eyes, “I didn’t know. They told me you left. I got the one letter that you wrote telling me goodbye
; that was it.”

“I wrote a few of those. I was letting you off the hook. But, if you read those,” he said, pointing at the bundle of unopened letters sitting on my nightstand, “you’ll know how messed up I was. I didn’t know what to do! One day I’d write that you were better off without me, and the next letter would beg you to come see me. When I got out and found out you were married, I knew I was going to fight to get you back, but when I saw you in your yard, and you looked so happy, I couldn’t do it. I walked away. I left for New York the next morning.”

“I wasn’t happy. You should have…”

“I know that now. I’ll never leave you again. I’ll never doubt you again. I know you love me,” he said, searching my eyes for the truth and waiting for confirmation that I wasn’t ready to give.

I looked down. “I’ve always loved you…but it’s not enough, Shane.” I couldn’t blame him for leaving me any longer. That wasn’t his fault. But, he took the money, and whether or not he came back for me, he kept it. Shannon came bounding through the room at that time, jumping on my bed.

“Shannon, don’t bounce on the bed, Honey. Your mom needs to rest,” Shane told our daughter.

“Why?” she said, bouncing up and down.

“Shannon, you need to be careful, okay?” he said, reaching for his daughter.

She jumped back and landed on my bruised ribs. “Ow, Shannon!” I snapped.

“SHANNON!” Shane said, pulling her off the bed.

She looked up at him and said, “I don’t have to listen to you.”

He looked at me, waiting for me to tell her the truth. The six years of loneliness ran through my mind, preventing me from allowing my daughter to get any closer to a man that could hurt her so badly, even if he was her father.

“Apologize to Shane and then why don’t you go play for a while? Shane and I need to talk some more.”

She looked up at him and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I just like jumping on the bed.”

He knelt down and said, “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I just didn’t want you to hurt your mom. She’s supposed to rest.”

“Is she sick?”

“Shannon, I’m fine. Just go and play now, okay?”

“Can I still
come work at your office?” she asked, looking sad that she’d yelled at Shane.

“I can’t run the place without you!”

She giggled and ran out of the room.

He turned back to me and said, “Why didn’t you tell her?”

I looked down. “I’m not ready. I need some time.”

“You’ve had time. She’s my daughter!”

“I know! I was there when I gave birth to her! I remember it vividly! I also remember feeling completely lost and alone…and without you.” I knew I was hurting him. But, I was still hurting.

“How many
times do I have to apologize? Dammit Rebecca, I would have been there if I could have! You know that! What’s this really about?” he asked, sitting down next to me again.

I was crying. “You took the money! That’s what it’s about!”

He ran his hand through his hair and said, “We’ve been over this. I won’t apologize again. What can I say to make you forgive me?”

I wanted him to offer to pay the money back, or something.
But, would that be enough?  Could I ever trust him again? Would he do it again?

“I can’t believe that you can’t forgive me for that! It was a stupid mistake, one I’ll regret forever. But it’s over! I know you went through hell…”

“Yeah! I did! I didn’t know where you were. You just vanished. I was alone and pregnant! You took the money…you left! I lied about the baby for months. I didn’t let anyone know I was pregnant. I couldn’t face it! My parents knew, or they suspected. My father saw the…videos…of us…together.”

“Videos?
What videos?”

“The ones from the camera hidden in your room at the tire store.
There were videos of us…making love.”

“Oh, God.
I didn’t know.”

“Of course not.
Parker hired someone to frame you and when they put in the camera’s they put one in your room. Parker watches them…studied them!”

“He what?”

“He said he wants me to look at him like I look at you. I caught him watching one of the videos one night after he’d been drinking.”

“He’s sick!”

“Yeah, he is. But, he was there. He stood by my side and supported your daughter. And he’s never stolen a penny from anyone.”

“I didn’t steal…I was…”

“I know what you did!”

“Evidently you can’t get past it. Are you ever going to trust me again?”

I looked down, unable to give him an answer.

“I guess there’s nothing left to say. We’ll continue with the same schedule for Shannon.”
He started to walk out the door and stopped. “If it’s not too much to ask, I’d like to be included in your doctor visits, and I’d like to be there when you have our baby.”

“Shane…” I was crying now, wishing I could take it back and beg him to stay. But, he took the money and left. What was going to stop him from doing it again?

“Goodbye, Rebecca.”

Tears, Tears and More Tears

I cried into the night, inconsolably. I couldn’t stop. It was happening all over again. I was a grown woman, married to a man I hated but should love, and carrying a child of a man I was in love with, but should hate.

“Rebecca, what happened?” my father asked a few hours after Shane left.

“Nothing. He’s gone.”

“Gone?”

“He’s going to continue to see Shannon, and he wants to be a part of the baby’s life…but, we’re through. It’s good…really. It’s…for the be…best!” I was sobbing again.

“Rebecca, I think you’re making a mistake. Maybe you should give him another chance.”

“You mean with Parker? No, Daddy, I can’t go back…”

“No, not with Parker.
That Son of a… I mean Shane.”

“But…but, you…hate him.” I was still crying.

“I don’t hate him. I just always thought you could do better. But…”

“But, what?”

“But, he really does love you. He’s proven himself…”

“He’s proven that he can take a bribe and not feel guilty about it.”

“Did you talk to him about it?”

“Yeah, he apologized! That’s it! He didn’t even offer to pay it back, or even tell me what he did with it!”

“Rebecca, maybe…”

“Bradley, let me talk to her for a minute, okay?”

“No, mom! I’ve made up my mind, once and for all. Shane is the father of my children, but nothing more! I’ll let him see them and be a part of their lives. But, I’m done. Don’t worry, I’m stronger now. I’ve had closure. I’ll be fine. I’ll get my own place as soon as I can.”

“There’s no rush, Rebecca.  Stay as long as you need.”

“Thank you. Would you let Shannon sleep with you tonight, please? I don’t want to explain my tears. I need tonight, but that’s all I’m allowing myself. I’m starting a new life tomorrow morning.”

“Pumpkin, I think I need…”

“Bradley, you heard her. She needs this time. Let’s go take Shannon to the park before dinner. Honey, do you need anything?” my mom asked, allowing me the time I asked for.

“No, I’m fine. Thank y
ou. Tell Shannon I have a headache and I’ll see her in the morning. I’ll be fine.”

A New Roommate

The sun did rise the next morning, even though I thought for sure it wouldn’t. I got up, wiped my eyes dry, took a shower, got dressed and took Shannon to school. I had to find a place to live
; an apartment that allowed the cat…and a dog.