Expectant Father (9 page)

“Quite a prophet, this Chainsaw.” After the Coyote fire, she’d met Aiden in Las Vegas and he’d helped her create a baby. What other tasks did he have left to fulfill?

“He is that. Now, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about fire, it’s that it’s unpredictable, like me.” He grinned, transforming himself into the charmer she’d fallen for in Las Vegas.

His assessment of himself was so far off that she laughed, an abrupt release of her heavy mood. “You are very predictable.”

“Prove it.” He raised his dark eyebrows, his smile turning lopsided, an invitation for mischief that was predictable.

Becca ticked off the first few things that came to mind. “You don’t own a house or a condo. I’m sure you drive a truck, probably black. You like to have sex with women you barely know, but aren’t interested in a relationship or responsibility. You didn’t even recognize me at first. Face it. You’re a predictable, firefighting bachelor under the age of thirty.” A man totally inappropriate for Becca, who was interested in climbing the management ladder at NIFC, where aspects of your life other than your job performance mattered.

“I’m not under the age of thirty, and I am not predictable.” His chin jutted out.

“You can’t be more than thirty.” At least eight years separated them. She hadn’t thought about his age in Las Vegas. She’d been thinking that he was a delicious stranger who seemed to want her as much as she wanted him, and that she’d never see him again. He’d been perfect. “But that’s not the point. The point is that you’re more predictable than this fire.”

“If I’m so predictable, what am I thinking?” His grin was devilish.

Too easy. “You’re wondering if the baby is yours. And you won’t listen when I say you don’t need to worry about it.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. Clearly, she’d burst his bubble. “Okay, you’re half right, but since you’ve opened up the topic, let’s talk.” He cradled one elbow in his palm, propped his chin on his fist and regarded her with a serious expression. He just didn’t give up. “I know we created that baby together. There’s no use denying it. And I know you don’t expect me to want to be a part of his life, but I’ll make you a deal. You admit that baby is mine and I’ll agree to
whatever parental terms you want. Sundays only. Once a month. I don’t care what limitations you set. I want to be a father to this baby.”

She didn’t immediately reject him, as she should have, because his desire to be involved with the baby was unexpected. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want this child to wonder if I care about him or not. If I’m more than a faceless, nameless sperm donor to him, he’ll at least know where he stands with me, that he can call me anytime and I’ll be there.” She realized his eyes were the most telling feature on his face, and now they were filled with an earnest sadness.

Becca was speechless. The baby kicked and she placed both hands on her belly, drawing his eyes to their child…her child. The decision she was about to make would change her life and the baby’s forever. If he’d been at all like his reputation, she would have immediately refused; but he was a caring, compassionate man, and she couldn’t get past the guilt of denying such a man minimal contact with his child.

“It’s that important to you?” she finally managed to ask in a half whisper.

“Yes.”

“And you’ll agree to any terms.”

“Anything.”

For some cockeyed reason, she believed him, still… “Why is this so important to you?”

“If you knew my dad, you’d understand. The short of it is, he was never there for me.” He washed a hand over his face, and when he spoke, his words were very low. “I never knew if he cared.”

Becca’s heart went out to him. What he said made so much sense. She hadn’t considered the implications of keeping her
baby’s parentage secret on her child. But she needed that Boise job and he could ruin it for her. “And you wouldn’t tell anyone?”

“Is that one of your conditions?” Aiden frowned. “Isn’t that a bit unrealistic?”

“You can’t tell anyone yet. I’m up for a desk job in Boise. I can’t possibly continue working in the field with a baby.” She drew a deep breath before rushing through the tricky part. “I’m sure you understand. I mean, it doesn’t look so good, me having a baby with someone like—”

“Me?” He drew back in apparent shock. “Because I’m a ground-pounding grunt who uses any excuse to pick a fight?”

“No.” Although, the Silver Bend Hot Shots were known to be a physical team, as were many of the younger crews. Fighting fires created a lot of stress and it wasn’t surprising, although more rare nowadays, to have fights break out between or within crews.

“Because I don’t have a college education?”

“No.”

“It’s because I’m younger than you are.” It wasn’t a question. He slanted her a disapproving glance. “Because I’m a predictable, young stud who likes to sleep with women…or shall we say nameless bimbos?”

He’d certainly—bluntly—struck the nail on the head, although the bimbo label stung. Becca’s cheeks heated with a combination of embarrassment and shame. Age shouldn’t matter. Yet she knew when it came to this situation and her career, it did. Looking at him now, standing before her in his forest-green pants and yellow button-down fire garb, looking as if he’d been dragged through the dirt, yet with a strong set to his shoulders and proud lift to his chin, Becca found herself wanting him all over again. And it wasn’t just because he was forbidden fruit.
She liked him as a person, as a firefighter, possibly something more, something dangerously more if she didn’t remember her goals and what she’d be losing by pursuing such a relationship.

When she didn’t immediately answer, he swore. “And they say Hot Shots are stuck-up snobs. The pregnancy was an accident, Becca. You should be admired for standing up and doing the right thing no matter what age you are and what age I am. Who cares what people think?”

Aiden was wrong. Her getting pregnant had been no accident. Becca’s cheeks burned with guilt. She’d gone to Las Vegas at the height of her fertility cycle without birth control, and with the goal of finding a man to father a child. Yet, he was right about one thing. She couldn’t keep his identity a secret if she was allowing him some kind of role in her baby’s life. And she wouldn’t riddle her child with doubt by keeping Aiden’s identity and his desire to have some kind of relationship a secret.

“Tell me the truth, and then we’ll meet with the meteorologist and I’ll get you back in time for dinner and a rest.”

Becca’s mind told her to stop, but her conscience wouldn’t let her. She chose her words very carefully. “Aiden Rodas, if you agree to tell no one until I get this job…”

He nodded and leaned forward.

“… I’ll admit that your sperm helped create my baby. When we get back to the real world, we’ll talk about what that means.”

The blood drained from his face and he swayed just a bit before going rigid. He made a lame attempt at a recovery. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Becca had a feeling that it wasn’t so bad. Something in her gut told her it was worse, much worse.

“I’
M GOING TO BE A DAD
,” Spider whispered to himself.

He wanted to collapse on shaky knees, but he kept putting
one foot in front of the other, following Becca uphill. Spider was bringing a kid into a world that suddenly seemed large and threatening. Jeez, he was worried about his dad and about Victoria on this fire. How was he going to keep from worrying about his own kid every day? Choosing the right pre-school, getting him safely across the street, driving responsibly when he turned sixteen. And Aiden didn’t even want to think about what he’d do if the baby was a girl. He was assailed with a ton of worries he hadn’t been ready to deal with, until his heart was hammering against his chest.

Becca grabbed hold of a tree and used it for support as she stepped over a fallen log. His hand reached out impulsively to steady her. She was carrying his baby. She had to be more careful. She hiked around here by herself. She breathed the smoky air. She always looked tired. Becca wasn’t taking care of herself or his baby.

Leaping over the log, he moved right up behind Becca on the trail in case she slipped again. She stopped and he almost bowled her over.

“What are you doing?” She half turned, a frown on her face.

“I’m just…making sure you don’t fall.”

Becca scanned the trail ahead and the ground at her feet for a few moments before asking, “Why?”

“In case you slip,” he explained, feeling a bit foolish. “You know, being a gentleman.” She’d accused him of lacking those qualities when she’d hit her head the other day.

“Don’t do that. Pregnant women need space.” She climbed on. “Even from gentlemen.”

Spider was the first to admit he lacked experience with pregnant women. “What else do they need?”

“Peace and quiet.”

“Is that a hint?”

“Not if I need to explain it.” There was no humor in her reply.

“You’re not smiling. Are you regretting your decision?” He could tell she was by the resigned set of her shoulders.

“There’s a time and place for everything.” They entered a clearing at the crest of the mountain. The meteorologist sat on a boulder on the far side of the clearing. Becca tossed Aiden a serious look over her shoulder. “Let’s see what you’ve got, Mr. Predictable.”

S
PIDER HAD NOTHING
.

No skills. No tricks up his sleeve. And his knowledge of fire seemed to have deserted him the moment Becca admitted he’d fathered that baby she was carrying. She thought he was young and foolish. He could live with that. She’d called him predictable. He resented the label. He was predictable in that he enjoyed life to the fullest. But he’d be old and gimpy before anyone called him predictable again.

A father. Oh, boy. Heavy stuff.

Wouldn’t she be surprised to know that Spider needed an outlet for all the pent up emotion churning his gut?

Spider tried to focus and think of something to say. They stood on a ridge overlooking an as-yet-untouched green valley. The fire was two valleys east of their location, a distance of perhaps thirty miles as the crow flies, with base camp behind them to the west. Carl, the gratingly obtuse meteorologist, and Becca were deep in discussion about humidity and wind speed, a conversation in which Becca totally ignored Spider.

And why shouldn’t she? He knew nothing about the technical side of things. He’d been pissed off when Becca had insinuated he was worthless to her. What was he supposed to
say? That he’d been sent to boost her spirits and make her laugh? How demeaning. Becca believed he was there to offer technical expertise. If she knew the truth—that he’d been assigned to help people lighten up, he’d feel that much more unworthy of being a dad.

Carl, on the other hand, seemed to think he knew a lot about fire. Spider had seen him around camps for the first time this summer on other IC teams. The guy had
know-it-all rookie
written all over him. A few months ago, he’d looked Spider up and down, and immediately dismissed him. Somebody needed to take him down a peg or two, and Spider wouldn’t mind being the one to do it. In his early forties, with a soft build and a friar’s dome that he tried to hide by shaving his head and wearing a baseball hat, Carl was just the kind of man Becca probably looked at as prime dating material—a guy she could boss around, a guy she could shove into a corner or leave behind until she needed him for sperm donations.

She better not think of Spider that way.

Spider burned with anger while he listened to her intelligent discussion, looked at the soft curves of Becca’s body and the proud way she carried herself. She had thought of Spider that way.

“You think the wind’s gonna whip the fire across two valleys to this one in a matter of days?” Carl didn’t give Becca much respect, but he did eye her as if she were something tasty he’d like to sample. “So what if it does?”

What an ass. Carl had a lot to learn about fires. Thirty miles in three days was not out of the question with the right winds and the wrong defenses. And, if Carl wanted Becca, he wasn’t going about it in the right way. Spider would have laughed if he hadn’t been so friggin’ frustrated with himself and his
brain-freeze. The only bright spot on the horizon was Becca’s sure-to-come put-down.

But instead of putting Carl in his place as she’d often done to Spider, Becca made a small noise to indicate that she’d heard the meteorologist. Silently she just kept looking out over the valley, making Spider wonder what she found so interesting that would silence that sharp tongue of hers. Ignoring the fact that he was bone tired and keyed up tighter than a spring, he moved just behind her so that he might see the view and understand what fascinated her so.

Trees towered thickly above the valley floor. Although the terrain was deep, narrow and stretched for miles north to south, Spider had fought fires on worse terrain. He’d been in places like this when the wind channeled to the bottom of the valley, picked up speed and blew a fire all along its width—

“To the road,” Spider said in awe. He stepped past Becca, closer to the edge of the ridge.

“Aiden, what did you say?” Becca asked, her hand briefly touching his shoulder.

Absorbed in his thoughts, Spider suddenly realized it was the second time she’d asked him. “It’s the only one of the three valleys in the fire’s immediate path that isn’t hemmed in on the south by a ridge. If the fire tops that crest and comes down the slope, the right winds will send it to the south, to the highway with no natural barriers to stop it.” Nothing except the firefighters who would most likely stand in its path.

A hungry fire…

Aiden looked at Becca, jaw tense, ready to argue with her if she thought he was wrong.

Instead, Becca lifted one corner of her lips in an almost smile. “That’s what I thought, too.”

Spider hadn’t anticipated how a near-positive reaction from Becca would lighten his mood. He felt as if they’d connected, like that night in Vegas. He felt as if he knew this woman like no other.

Which was no help whatsoever.

“S
O, WHAT IF THE FIRE MAKES IT
through those two valleys and gets here?” Carl shrugged. “Then we make a stand here.”

Aiden paced. Becca held onto her temper by digging her fingernails into her palms. If she could just make Carl see the logic of the fire’s progression, they could convince Sirus to defend this ridge. They could pull back the firefighters and set up a break at a safe distance. “Carl, the difference is that our current efforts aren’t containing the fire. It’ll just tire out the crews as it makes its way here, where it will gain strength and run away.”

She ground her fists into her aching back. She needed to sit down. Her ankles were swelling. The baby squirmed, then settled into a different position. Becca hoped her little one would forgive her for pushing herself so hard, but lives were at stake.

“Now, Becca, this scenario of yours only happens if the wind changes.” Carl shielded his eyes from the sun as he gave Becca a look as indulgent as one gave a child who’d just said something pie-in-the-sky ridiculous. He was such a condescending, self-important jerk. “Sorry, Becca, you’ve come up with a worst-case scenario and I think it’s unnecessary. We’ll stop it long before it reaches that ridge with either reinforcements or rain.”

“Bullshit!” Aiden couldn’t contain himself any longer. “You said last night that there’s no rain on the horizon.”

Becca held up a hand in Aiden’s direction, unable to contain a slight frown. Nothing would be solved with a loss of temper. Carl would just close his mind even further, if that was possible.

“You and I both know that our current strategy isn’t working and endangers lives every day.” Becca tugged down her T-shirt with a warning glance at Aiden, who couldn’t seem to stand still. “If we had more manpower, it would be different. I’m asking you to do the right thing for those out on the line. You mentioned that you thought the heat was going to break in five to seven days.”

Carl adjusted the brim of his baseball cap. “Even if the heat breaks, I don’t see the winds shifting.”

But Becca did. “The locals say—”

“Locals?” Carl cut her off, shaking his head resolutely.

“I hope you’re right. Really I do.” Becca managed to speak calmly. “But—”

Carl cut her off again. “You’re proposing we let thousands of acres burn? Are you willing to take the blame for such a loss, Becca? Because I’m not. And that’s what it comes down to.”

“Carl—” Becca wouldn’t give up.

“No, I’m through talking.” He rubbed his stomach as it growled, then smiled as if they’d just come to an amicable agreement. “Hey, what do you say we head down for dinner? All this fresh air has made me really hungry. It’s not candlelight or anything, but we could get to know each other better.”

A feral sound came from Aiden’s direction, which should have warned her, except Becca was so repulsed by Carl’s in
terest that she froze. He wasn’t extending an invitation that included Aiden. He was asking Becca out.

“Dinner? We’re not done here, Romeo.” Spider stepped between Carl and Becca, his body taut and ready to spring. “We’ve tried blocking the front. In six days, that fire has overrun us two times.”

“That’s what I’m saying.” Carl smiled easily as if he weren’t aware of Aiden’s tension. “Why set us up for failure again? If we back off from the fire, it could move in any direction, gain momentum and blow right through this valley or miss it altogether,” Carl argued, stubbornly rocking back and forth on his squeaky new boots. “Forget this foolishness. We need to be conservative.”

Hoping she appeared calm, Becca stepped in front of Aiden for one last try. “This is conservative, Carl. Hopefully, the fire won’t reach this valley for days. If we build our defenses this far back, we’ll have time to stop it.” Becca tried her best to ignore how Carl was patronizing her and trying to hit on her at the same time, while hoping her calm demeanor would help to diffuse Aiden’s bloodlust.

“I’m willing to take responsibility for those two valleys burning. Are you willing to take responsibility for the fire jumping the highway?” Becca fought to keep the frustration from her voice.

“Holy crap. Can’t you see she’s right?” Aiden cracked his knuckles. “With a shortage of teams and the vindictiveness of this fire, we’re screwed with our current attack strategy. Even an idiot can see that.”

“Slow down, fella.” Carl smiled at Becca as if sharing a secret that excluded Aiden. “All the weather reports indicate that we won’t get a new front in for days and even then, it’s not a sure thing. It could stall out over Canada. But it’s not
going to cause a dramatic shift in the wind. Hell, why the worry? It’s a long shot, but you and your boys may even contain it before it hits that ridge.”

Becca couldn’t miss that the whole boy/fella bit didn’t sit well with Aiden.

“Shit, Carl. What do we need you for? You’re not a fire expert. How many years have you been working fire?” Aiden faced Becca. “I say we ditch Carl and just watch the local weatherman for his report.”

“Becca, don’t listen to him.”

“Becca’s trying to save lives here, not pretending to be something more important than she is. Maybe if you listened to her, you’d learn something.”

The air crackled with animosity and testosterone.

“I don’t have to take this from you.” Carl’s face was beet-red.

“What’s wrong? Run out of illogical reasons to disagree with Becca?”

Carl made a grunting noise and threw down his clipboard like a twelve-year-old. “I know how you settle things out here. Come on. You don’t scare me.”

“Aiden! Carl!” Becca tried to stand between the two men.

Aiden gently but firmly pushed her behind him, even though she resisted. It was hard to win a shoving match with a watermelon-sized belly.

“I am so tired of you Hot Shots thinking you’re untouchable and all-knowing. You aren’t God. Heck, most of you haven’t even graduated from college.” Carl advanced. “You can’t predict the weather or the fire. You’re only qualified to shovel dirt.”

“Don’t you hit him,” Becca warned Aiden. Every time she tried to step around him, he moved in her way.

Carl turned his baseball cap backward. “I’m not gonna hit him—”

“I think she was talking to me, weatherman.” Becca could tell Aiden was smiling by the bravado in his voice.

“— I’m gonna throw him off the mountain.” Carl crouched and spread his arms. He glanced at Becca. “Stand back, Becca. I know what I’m doing. I was all-state wrestling champ.”

“You two are not going to fight,” Becca commanded. If Aiden pounded Carl, the meteorologist would never align with her.

“Oh, yes. We are.” Then Carl laughed, as if he had no clue he didn’t stand a chance.

Becca grabbed Aiden’s arm, because Carl would never listen to her. “Touch him, and I take it back. All of it,” Becca warned, knowing he’d understand she was talking about the baby. “I mean it.”

Aiden half turned and stared at her. His jaw was tense and his eyes were blazing with the need to smash his fist into somebody.

“Please,” Becca pleaded softly, not moving from his side.

“Come on,” Carl encouraged Aiden forward with one hand. “You’re not going to listen to a
girl,
are you,
Spider?
”

Aiden glanced back at Becca one more time, his fists clenching and unclenching.

“You are
so
not worth it, Carl.” Aiden turned on his heel and left.

As she watched Aiden disappear into the trees, Becca’s heart swelled with pride. It took a man with a ton of courage to walk away from a fight he was sure to win.

“No guts.” Carl stood, righted his baseball cap and grinned. “I thought so.”

All the frustration and anger from their argument made
Becca tremble. She wanted to tell Carl what a jerk he was, but she knew it would only fall on deaf ears. Carl was a legend in his own mind.

“He’s right, you know,” was all Becca said before she followed Aiden back to camp.

Fighting Carl wasn’t worth the energy. She’d convince Sirus on her own.

The startling revelation was that it took Aiden to point that out to her.

“F
INALLY, A DISPLAY
of common sense,” Becca called as she stood precariously on the slope above Spider. If she lost her footing, she’d come tumbling down—not such a good idea for a pregnant woman, especially one carrying his child.

It scared the hell out of Spider. He should have known when he’d taken off that she’d follow, despite his breakneck pace. Only when he’d walked away, he couldn’t help but realize that Carl wasn’t worth fighting, but Becca just might be worth fighting for. She’d been calm and determined in her struggle to open Carl’s shortsighted eyes, and do what was best to contain the fire and keep firefighters safe. He had to admire that.

“Becca, stay right where you are,” Spider commanded and then he ran uphill to her, even when all he wanted was to gain some much needed space from her and Carl. He took Becca by the arm. “Are you crazy?”

“Me?” she squeaked. “I’m not the one starting fights for no reason.”

Unbelievable. Even when he did the right thing, she gave him grief. “I didn’t start a fight. I’m the one who walked away, remember?” And if Carl told anyone about it… Spider ground his teeth.

“Men,” Becca huffed. “You wanted to fight him. Heck, you
wanted to hit a tree five minutes after we got there and you weren’t paying attention to Carl then.” She tried to shrug out of Spider’s grip.

“Oh, no you don’t.” He wasn’t letting her hike out of here alone. “Wait a minute. How did you know what I wanted to do?”

She arched a brow at him.

The superior triumph in her expression grated on his ego. “I can’t be that predictable.”

Her expression softened. “You’re upset.”

“Hell, yes, I’m upset. Nothing about this day has been par for the course. Not the fire, not my assignment, not Carl, and most certainly, not you.” Why had he walked away from Carl? All he’d wanted to do was smash Carl’s face with his fist. And then she’d asked him not to. It had taken every ounce of self-control he possessed to walk away.

She stared at him as if not sure what to think, standing next to him with her lips parted, breathing heavily, her breasts rising and falling in a seductive rhythm. Instinctively, he leaned forward to kiss her, then stopped himself. Barely.

Could she tell that he wanted to kiss her? Did he care if she knew?

At the moment, no.

“You’re evil,” Becca said under her breath, eyes locked onto his. She knew what he was thinking all right, but she didn’t call him on it.

On the contrary, she wasn’t backing down at all. He could kiss her if he wanted to. He could wrap one hand around her soft braid, tilt her head back to deepen the kiss, and direct one hand lower, over her tantalizing curves.

Reality set in and it was Spider who pulled back. Only slightly though. Wouldn’t do to let on that she rattled him.

“It’s a guy thing. Deal with it.” Spider shifted awkwardly, still holding her arm.

Blinking, as if she just realized what had almost happened, Becca somehow managed to get out of his grip and stubbornly lead the way back.

He was left watching her hike in front of him as the silence stretched between them. The way she walked was oddly graceful—a big woman moving at a slow and certain pace, her hips swaying as gently as the long blond braid down her back. The only way he could tell she was hurt was by the stiff set of her shoulders.

A gentleman would apologize.

That had to be his Abuelita talking, not Becca.

Spider frowned, not sure. Becca had accused him of not being a gentleman the day she’d fallen.

Damn. What had happened here? He wasn’t making choices to please her, was he? Sure, he’d seen the hurt in the way Becca had stood, so strong, yet so fragile as she’d tried to talk sense into Carl. In hindsight, she hadn’t been as calm as she’d appeared. So what if he’d discovered she was a fire-pre-diction savant, or that Becca could turn him on with a word? She’d still handled this baby business all wrong and would probably continue to do so. Spider couldn’t afford to give her an inch of leeway in this parenting relationship. He’d blow everything if he gave in to this kinky desire he had for her.

All he had to do was keep quiet for forty minutes while they hiked down the hill and he’d be okay.

A
IDEN CURSED ON THE
trail behind Becca. “I was always a talker in school. Couldn’t stand the silence.”

“With that kind of language, you probably spent a lot of time in detention.”

“Language didn’t get me into detention.”

Becca stopped herself from asking him what had, although she was dying to know. It was Las Vegas all over again—him intriguing her, creating a desire to know him better.

Lucky for her, before she could ask, Aiden changed the subject. “My grandmother always taught me to acknowledge hard work and give credit where credit was due. So…that was pretty impressive back there.”

Becca’s heart pounded in her chest. She had to steady herself with one hand on a tree trunk midstep. Was he talking about their almost kiss?

“The way you figured out what the fire would do was awesome,” Aiden clarified. “I’m usually a step ahead of guessing where the fire might go. And you’re like three or four steps beyond me with all the facts to back it up.”

Not the kiss. Becca didn’t know whether to laugh with relief or groan with frustration. The way Aiden had looked at her a few minutes ago was nothing close to the lecherous way Carl had stared at her. When Aiden had looked at her, he’d let her see who he was, holding nothing back—pain, anger and desire were all there, raw and powerful. It was more intimate than watching him shed his clothes. And yet, she couldn’t touch him.

“This is where you fill in the silence with a response.” When she still said nothing, he added, “Or can’t you accept that your prediction was poetry?”

Reminding herself that colleagues didn't lust after one another, she sighed. “Carl wasn’t buying it.”

“Carl was blinded by your beauty in about the same way I was blown away by your intelligence. That accounts for his drop in intellect when he’s around you.”

“Ha! You are so full of it. It’s closer to the truth to say that
Carl would never believe in something he didn’t come up with first.” She wasn’t amused with Aiden’s attempts to lighten her mood. Or was he flirting? She’d know if she turned around and looked in his eyes.