Expectant Father (11 page)

“I
WAS HOPING
I’d see you.”

Becca glanced up from the worn Realtor flyer she’d been staring at during dinner the next day to find Victoria settling across from her. Since her confrontation with Aiden yesterday, she’d found it hard to concentrate. Sitting at a picnic table in the sunny dining area was making her hot, her pregnant curves and creases damp with sweat.

Although he’d stayed away today, the possibility of Aiden giving her space for the duration of the fire was slim to none. The chance of her landing the Boise job and closing on the house on the flyer even less. She should never have made the offer on the house, at least, not until NIFC had given her the job.

But it was perfect. Two bedrooms, one bath, a fireplace and hardwood floors. A pipe dream if she didn’t pull a stellar performance out of Julia or if Aiden divulged her secret. Becca folded the flyer and put it in her pocket with a resigned sigh.

“Are you okay?” Victoria asked. “You look flushed.”

“I’m fine,” Becca assured her, taking a long drink of water.

Drawing a calming breath, Becca reminded herself to focus on the challenges ahead of her. She needed to develop a strong reason to change attack strategies because no one was going to go to bat with her on this one, certainly not Carl.

And then there was the problem of Julia. Becca refused to believe it was due to her own management style as Sirus seemed to think. Maybe Julia hadn’t found her footing. Fire-behavior prediction was a tough field, requiring dedication and effort. If Becca was fair, she had to admit that she hadn’t built a strong foundation of confidence in Julia. She had yet to encourage her assistant to speak up in the briefings.

“We had a good day on the fire.” Victoria broke into Becca’s thoughts.

“So I heard.” Becca turned her attention back to the insurmountable pile of broccoli she’d forced herself to put on her plate. What she wouldn’t give for some cheese melted on top of it. The thought of eating it plain turned her stomach.

Laughter erupted nearby. Looking up, Becca saw Aiden was still in the food line and joking with members of the IC team and a few female Hot Shots. Becca frowned. Aiden was acting so typical of a Hot Shot—exuberant and strutting around as if women fell into his bed easily—she wouldn’t have minded someone putting him in his place, even if it were Carl.

She knew firsthand women did fall into Aiden’s bed, and she was grateful he had let her tumble there, but he didn’t have to look so…so…young and cocky about his ability. Nor did the women have to hang on his every word. Not that she was jealous.

Aiden hadn’t seemed that young as they’d talked out on the mountain. She’d seen the wrinkles at the corners of his dark eyes. Without him standing in front of her, she could convince herself that the wrinkles were probably from too much sun exposure. Certainly not from age or wisdom.

Yet, he’d been solicitous, treating her as carefully as if she were fine china whenever she’d started to slip or do something
reckless, like follow Aiden down the trail at top speed because she’d been worried about him. And he’d understood the guilt she carried about the Coyote fire. She’d never spoken to anyone about that before.

Across from her, Victoria rolled her eyes. “Men. There are too many of them out there.”

At least one too many as far as Becca was concerned.

With his back to her, Aiden laughed again. The sound of his laughter did funny things to Becca’s insides. She rubbed her belly. More likely it wasn’t Aiden giving her these feelings, but the sight of broccoli combined with the baby shifting around making her nauseous. It couldn’t be her heart.

“And then,” she heard Aiden say, straining to hear the rest of it. “And then I realize the slope isn’t too steep, but that I’m too slow, because a snake passes me on the way up.” Aiden shook his head ruefully.

He was telling a story about a fire? At his own expense?

She’d liked Aiden in Las Vegas, perhaps too much, because when she’d found out she was pregnant, she’d burned with guilt over not telling him. So, she’d asked around about him. She’d found his reputation to be vastly different from the man she’d met, and that had helped her justify not telling him about the baby, easing her conscience. And now, he was acting just like the man she’d seduced in Las Vegas—caring, charming, yet humble—and nothing like his reputation. Becca found herself liking him all the more, darn him. She was certain that liking Aiden would lead to the downfall of all her plans.

Everyone laughed at Aiden’s story. One of the female Hot Shots was short enough that she had to crane her neck to look up at Aiden. The cold claw of jealousy scraped down Becca’s spine. He’d kissed her less than twenty-four hours ago.

Someone stepped between Aiden and the Hot Shot to grab a piece of French bread, and then stayed between the two of them. Becca released the air in her lungs. She didn’t own Aiden. Far from it. He could talk or flirt or kiss whomever he wanted…as long as it wasn’t in front of Becca.

“When’s the baby due?” Victoria asked, rearranging her food on her plate into neat piles—salad, steak, raw carrots—drawing Becca’s attention back to the table. “You must be excited.”

“Yes, my due date is coming up quickly, in October.” She had less than two weeks before the deadline the doctor had set when she couldn’t work any longer.

“I wish I had a baby,” Victoria said wistfully.

“You’re too young. And you’re still on the fire line. You have plenty of time to wait.” Becca couldn’t believe she’d said that. Victoria could just as easily end up in a similar situation as Becca. “But don’t wait too long,” she added.

Pushing her food around her plate, Victoria didn’t answer.

Out of the corner of her eye, Becca saw Aiden sit alone at the table behind Victoria, his back toward them.

Victoria sat back, covering her mouth with one delicate hand. “I’m so sorry. I’m not very good company. And I’m tired and worried, and—”

“Don’t worry about making conversation. I live alone and I’m used to silence.” Becca rubbed the baby in her belly, eliciting a mild kick. She and the baby would be fine alone. Besides, no one could ever live up to the high standards set by Aiden with his dark, soulful eyes.

Becca bit back a groan of frustration, her eyes drifting to Aiden. She had begun to romanticize this baby’s conception. She and Aiden had been strangers, and making love to a stranger had gone against everything she’d been taught, ev
erything she was. There was only one explanation for the way she’d been unable to stop thinking about Aiden these past seven months; only one reason she could give for the way she couldn’t resist his kiss today. She didn’t want their night of lovemaking to have been a one-night stand. She wanted it to have meant something.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.
The line from the old school-yard rhyme taunted Becca. She was such a fool. She’d thought she could cheat the system and have a baby without a relationship. What a mess she’d landed herself in. With a word, Aiden could bring her world down.

Victoria contemplated Becca while she chewed her food. “Are you just going to have one baby?”

“That was the plan.” She’d spent many a sleepless night the year before second-guessing her life, beating herself up over the choice she’d made—to save lives rather than create lives. She’d ached for a baby of her own. And then she’d realized it didn’t have to be an either-or proposition.

The redhead put down her plastic eating utensils, an incredulous look on her face. “Just one?”

She looked so comical that the tension within Becca eased.

“Hmm, let me see. Single woman.
Old.
” She winked at Victoria, trying to lighten what Becca knew Victoria believed was true. “I think one kid is more than enough.”

Becca didn’t. Not really. She’d loved growing up in a big family. Four kids. Two parents. What was not to like? It was the divorce, custody battles and tug-of-war with a child’s affections that she feared. Because Becca had grown used to the fact that a typical family was not in the cards for her, she’d chosen to go it alone, despite the doubts, the fears and the what-ifs.

“Becca, I’m an only child and let me tell you, it’s no picnic. There’s no one to play with, no one to share secrets with, no one to blame when you break your mother’s antique teapot.”

Trying not to panic, Becca smiled, knowing the Hot Shot meant well but convinced that Victoria was overdramatizing. “I can assure you—”

“And then there’s the social aspect. To this day, it’s hard for me to share, or give up on an argument.”

Behind Victoria, Aiden turned his head, as if he were listening. If he turned around, Becca wouldn’t panic. She’d be civil and act as if he meant nothing to her, so that Victoria wouldn’t get the wrong idea.

Becca forced her attention back to her dining companion. “Victoria—”

“You know, when my mom goes, I’ll have no one. I never knew my dad. I don’t even know his name.” Victoria drew a shaky breath, as if trying not to cry. “I do have a picture of my dad in front of the Silver Bend Hot Shot station from before I was born, but my mom won’t talk about him. That’s why I joined the Hot Shots, to be closer to knowing my dad or at least the type of man he was. Of course, no one’s around who knows his name or would recognize my mom. He could be dead for all I know.”

Victoria held up a hand. Becca noticed one of her nails was chipped. “Okay, TMI—too much information. But the point is, if I do go first…” Victoria’s watery eyes were suddenly locked with Becca’s. “If I go first, my mom will have no one. And that’s why you need to have more than one baby.” She stood abruptly. “Excuse me. I’ve lost my appetite.”

As she watched Victoria walk away, there was a lump in Becca’s throat the size of a dry biscuit.

“H
EY, DON’T LISTEN TO HER
. There are advantages to being an only child.” Unable to stand it anymore, Spider picked up his tray and sat across from Becca. The possibility that Becca would take Victoria’s advice and perform another standing-ovation, sperm-collecting night of passion with a stranger, giving his kid a half brother or sister, and putting another man in the wings of Becca’s life had him on red alert.

“You shouldn’t sit here,” she told him sternly. “People will talk.”

Smiling, he refused to be put off. “So what? I’ve been assigned to your team. Besides, we need to get to know each other better if we’re going to make this work.”

Becca lowered her voice and leaned forward, as cool as a cucumber. “I’m under no obligation to make anything work.” And he might have believed her, except she couldn’t hold his gaze.

Spider switched tactics. “You want to hear that it’s okay to be an only child, don’t you?”

“You were an only child?” Becca asked, curiosity apparent in her eyes, which was preferable to the Keep Out sign that had been there when he’d first sat down.

“You doubt me?” Spider drew back in mock indignation. Although he’d sat down for his own reasons, once he realized she was upset, he couldn’t help but try to lift her spirits.

“Heck, yeah. You’re too…” Becca’s voice trailed off.

“Good looking? Suave?” Spider picked his best assets.

A fat squirrel scampered across the clearing to forage under the picnic table next to them.

“I think I was going to say
normal,
” Becca spoke up at last, a hint of a smile on her full lips.

Something warm invaded his chest at Becca’s smile. What
did that mean? She would have given birth to his child without telling him. So why did she spark any reaction other than contempt?

Because he’d seen Becca in action—obstinate, caring and treating him like an equal, sometimes, even when he probably didn’t deserve it. And then the future of their baby came between them…. Okay, and maybe that near fight with Carl.

“Or maybe I was going to say
irritatingly
normal,” Becca clarified, although she might have been teasing, he couldn’t quite tell.

Spider forced his lips to turn upward slowly, although this time it was an uphill battle. “Depends on your definition of normal,” he countered, eyes caught, despite his best intentions, on Becca’s hands rubbing her belly. Could she feel his child? Would she let him do that?

“All right.” Becca took the bait, setting down her fork and focusing only on him. “Describe the
normal
Aiden childhood.”

He liked Becca’s calm gaze on him. What was happening here? With a shrug, Spider admitted, “My dad had a job that kept him away from home for months at a time.”

“Hot Shot, right?” Becca asked, tilting her head.

“Yes,” Spider said with a nod. The way Becca looked at him, as if she were interested—which was a damn sight different than the way she’d looked at him when he’d first entered her tent yesterday, as if he were a leper—had Spider adding something more personal. “When I was five, my mom left me with my grandmother and never come back.”

“Is that your pickup line?” Becca demanded, suddenly all prickly. “I know you told me about your father, but this is laying it on a bit thick, don’t you think?”

“What? You don’t believe me? Do you always have to be so suspicious that I’m putting one over on you?” Here he was
being honest and she was challenging him like a lawyer, looking for any deception. It sucked. Spider considered leaving, but that would look childish. He’d rather not have Becca think he was someone she could manipulate.

Right, like that hadn’t already happened.

Maybe they needed to take a step back and start with the basics. What would earn Becca’s respect?

After a moment of hesitation, Spider dug into his wallet for a worn photo. He handed it to Becca.

“That’s my Abuelita, my grandmother.” The photograph had been taken at his high-school graduation. Spider wore a black button-down shirt and tie, one arm tossed over Abuelita’s shoulder. In her waitress uniform with her hair pulled back into a frizzy, silver bun, Abuelita looked like the sweet grandma she’d been.

Becca accepted the photo with a delicate touch. “Come on, you had aunts and cousins at least twice removed, or something. Otherwise, you would have turned out socially awkward, like Victoria.”