Expecting the Cowboy's Baby (11 page)

“You're going to be my wife,” he stated without hesitation. “No sense hiding it.”

“I've never agreed to that, Jake. You can't bully me into marriage.”

Jake lips went tight. He spoke with deliberation, a hard and ruthless edge to his voice. “You talk about rights? Well, what about mine? That's my baby growing in your belly. I have a right to raise my own child. I have a right to see him grow, watch him conquer big and small things alike. What's the problem, Cassie? You live here at the ranch. You work here. What's wrong with sharing a marriage bed? We do that well enough. What's wrong with getting married?”

“Oh, Jake.” Cassie sighed deeply. “There's nothing right about us getting married. The reasons should be clear.”

“Nothing's clear,” he admitted. “In fact, whenever I look at you, my mind muddies up real thick.”

Cassie stared at him, seeing him for the man he truly was, a drop-dead handsome cowboy whom she loved with unwelcome pain. She didn't have to ask him if he loved her. Her pride wouldn't allow it, anyway. But sadly she knew the truth. He was a man incapable of love. “I have to go.”

“Hold up a sec,” Jake said. “Don't go just yet.”

“Why?”

“There's something I want to show you. Something you didn't get to see on the nickel tour a while back. I'm taking over the ranch superintendent's duties until Toby can get back and I want to show you what this ranch is really all about. Up on the north pasture.”

His enthusiasm, the light in his eyes, the eager change in his voice, had Cassie curious. She'd never seen Jake respond with such animation before. Yet the north pasture was quite a long way away. She didn't know if she trusted herself with Jake all alone up there.

“Come on, Cassie. Say you'll go. I'll have you back here in an hour or two. We'll take the truck up there. I don't want to risk you on a horse.”

His warm gaze fell on her belly and Cassie's heart softened. She found herself wanting to go, wanting to see just what Jake had to show her. She had missed him and since his mood had changed she found herself ready to spend time with him, but she needed to set rules to preserve her own sanity. “I'll go on one condition. You have to promise there'll be no talk of pressuring me into marrying you. The subject is off-limits.”

Jake smiled and nodded. “I promise.” He took her in his arms, pulling her close, and brought his lips down, kissing her with scorching heat. Cassie's body responded immediately, edging its way closer to him, her lips tingling, her
body trembling. She moaned, a little sound that had Jake deepening the kiss, slanting over her lips with sweet, tortuous pressure. The kiss lasted longer than it should, considering that they stood right in the middle of the road, in sight of anyone who had a mind to watch.

When Cassie came to her senses, she backed away, ending the kiss and blinking, her fingers going to her ravaged lips. “And…and no more of that…either.”

Jake only smiled and took her hand. “I figured as much. C'mon.”

Twenty minutes later Cassie stood next to Jake on a rise, under the shadow of one of the few aging oaks on the north end of the land. They looked out at a herd of horses that made up the bulk of Anderson Ranch's wealth.

“Aren't they something?” Jake asked, his tone filled with awe.

The horses grazed peacefully, but there was wildness about them, a keen look in their eyes that even a rookie rancher like Cassie could recognize. “All of these are bucking horses?”

“Yep, every single one. They get exercised five days a week and we put them on a special diet to strengthen their bodies. They run the length of the pasture and back many times. Notice their legs—see the thick muscle there? That's to keep them strong when they buck.”

“What makes them buck?” Cassie asked, never giving the idea any thought. Of course, she'd only been to one rodeo. “Their spirit mostly. There're a small percentage of animals that can't ever be tamed. They want no part of it and will fight against being broken with everything they've got. They've got no need for the sedate life most ranch horses enjoy. They are God's creatures kept entirely the way He made them.” Jake pointed one out.

“See that one over there, the paint with the brown and
white markings? That's Texas Thunder. He comes from a long line of bucking horses. His mama was famous and his daddy bucked for over fifteen years. A rider who draws a high roller stands to win the most points. That's what makes those horses so valuable, the more they buck, the higher they fly, the more points a rider earns.” Jake chuckled. “That's if they can keep astride for the entire ride.”

“So you breed them?”

“Yep, most we do. But some aren't bred at all, some are just born that way. A rancher might call us up and say he's got a horse he can't break. John T. or Toby or me—we'll go check the horse out. If he looks like he's got potential, a horse inclined to buck, and we feel he'll make a good bucking horse, we'll take him on.”

Cassie watched the horses, listened to Jake's explanation, the excitement in his voice filling her senses. He had a look on his face that spoke of respect and appreciation, a regard for this special kind of ranching and the animals that struck a deep cord in her.

“A good bucking horse is worth a small fortune to a rodeo. It's what constitutes most of the wealth here. That and the pickup horses we raise.”

When Cassie appeared puzzled, Jake continued, “Those are the horses that help out a rider when he's through with his ride. They have to be specially trained, both horse and rider being able to get close enough to the bronc buster to help him off the bucking horse. Most of the horses you see down at the corrals are pickup horses. We've got three mares ready to foal down there, too.”

Jake and Cassie stood silent for a moment, watching the untamed horses prance around, some nuzzled others, causing a quick short-lived fury and others simply grazed contentedly.

“How often do you come up here?” Cassie asked, her
mind reeling. She hadn't a clue that Jake cared anything about the ranch. He'd never let on before, but now she was seeing a different side of him, perhaps a side he was finally willing to share with her.

“Whenever I'm in town, I help Toby with them.”

“They're beautiful horses.”

“Hmm. And they have a spirit that can't be held down. They'll go to their graves with that wildness still in them. They don't have to answer to anyone. Some of them work a total of ten minutes a year. That's all. The rest of the time they're free.” Jake spoke with pride, his gaze resting on the animals.

“You really love it here, don't you?” Cassie saw it clearly now. Jake loved the land. He loved the ranch. He loved working with the stock. He couldn't disguise the passion in his voice and the brilliant gleam in his eyes. He might hide behind his words, he might run away to the rodeo, but there was no mistaking Jake's true calling. He was a rancher, whether he knew it or not.

Jake shrugged. “I like working with the stock.”

Cassie smiled sadly. He liked working with the horses because he could relate to them. Their very nature, their untamed spirit and the way they answered to no one, called to Jake. He was just as they were, a soul that couldn't be held down, a spirit that had to be free.

Cassie sighed, understanding Jake better now. Nothing was going to hold this man down. Not the ranch, the baby, or a wife. Jake's idea to bring Cassie up here, might just have backfired, because Cassie knew without a doubt she could never marry Jake Griffin.

They drove back in silence with Cassie deep in thought, the idea of leaving the ranch nagging at her. She glanced sideways at Jake behind the wheel, wondering if she had
the strength to leave him, to pack up all of her belongings and abandon the home she'd come to love.

Brian needed her. She would have family in Los Angeles, and the support of friends. Whenever Cassie thought long and hard about leaving, tears welled up in her eyes and she would put the notion out of her head, but soon she knew she'd have to make a decision.

As the truck pulled up to the main house, Marie came racing down the steps as fast as the elderly woman's legs could take her. With an ashen face and watery eyes, she cried, “Jake! Jake! Your father's had a heart attack. They took him to the hospital. You must go quick. Carson Memorial.”

Jake bounded out of the truck. Cassie was just steps behind. “Are you okay, Marie?” Jake asked.

“I'm fine, I'm fine.”

“Tell me what happened?”

Marie began to tremble. Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “I found him in his study. He was slumped in the chair, having trouble breathing. He said it would pass, but I stayed with him and it didn't pass. When he clutched his chest, I begged him to let me call for help. The ambulance came and took him away. You must go to him.”

“I will. But you have to promise me to go inside and calm down. I'll call you as soon as I know anything. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said, relaxing a bit.

“Promise me, Marie?”

She nodded and Jake kissed her cheek, waiting until she climbed the steps of the main house. Jake huffed out a deep breath and turned to Cassie. “I'd better go.”

“Not without me.” She took his arm with reassuring pressure. “I'm going with you.”

Jake nodded and they climbed back into the truck.

“I
'm fine, really. Just got to eat more vegetables,” John T. stated, his pale face lighting up a bit when she and Jake entered his hospital room. They'd been kept waiting in the reception area for two hours while the doctors conducted a battery of tests on John T. Cassie had paced the floor, asking questions of the nurse, while Jake flipped through magazines. She knew he'd been concerned, but Jake Griffin, an expert at concealing his feelings, hadn't said much of anything. “I wish they'd hurry up and get these dang gadgets off me. I'm not a man comfortable with being hog-tied.”

“Be patient, John T.,” Lottie said, lovingly fingering wayward locks of his salt-and-pepper hair back into place. She'd been the first to arrive, never leaving John T.'s side. “The doctor says to take it easy.”

Cassie walked over and bent down to give him a quick hug, making sure not to push aside any of the tubes hooked
up to him. She kissed his cheek and smiled. “You gave us all a scare.”

She backed up and stared at Jake, who as yet hadn't said a word. Jake blinked and stepped forward, putting out his hand. John T. immediately clasped it with both hands in what was more than a handshake. “The doc says you're going to be just fine.”

“Thanks, son. A wake-up call is how the doc put it. He says I've got to cut out the greasy foods, exercise…”

“Not stress yourself out,” Lottie added firmly. “And be doggone sure to take your medicine.”

John T. glanced at Lottie; the loving look he shot her made Cassie smile. “You promised to see to that.”

Lottie's tawny gaze stayed on him. “I always keep my promises.”

They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment and Cassie thought the two needed privacy. She glanced at Jake, who had an unreadable expression on his face. “Maybe we should let John T. rest.”

Lottie agreed. “Yes, the nurse said not to tire him out.”

“I'm not a bit tired,” he said, but pallid skin and sleepy eyes belied his adamant denial.

“But you will rest now, won't you?” Lottie asked, her sweet face filled with concern.

“Bossy woman. Yes, I'll rest, but after I speak with Cassie. It'll only take a minute or two.”

Lottie nodded, glancing at Jake. “Come on, Jake,” she said with a wink, “we know when we're not welcome. Let's grab us some coffee.”

Cassie watched Lottie take Jake's arm and walk out of the room, then she turned to John T. His face paled considerably and he closed his eyes. Apparently, John T. was also good at hiding things, the heart attack, mild as it may have
been, was certainly taking a toll on his body. “John T? Maybe I should let you rest. We can talk later.”

He opened his eyes, shaking his head. “No, please. I won't rest until I say my piece. Have a seat, Cassie.”

Cassie slid a chair close to John T.'s right side and waited. Sterile hospital sounds surrounded her, the loudspeaker overhead signaling doctors and the quiet hustle of nurses at work, jolted her into reality. The idea of John T., such a vital, strong man diminished by illness, greatly upset her.

John T. took a deep breath, his face somber and his sharp eyes filled with concern. “A lot goes through a man's mind when he's being carted off to the hospital. Your life sort of flashes by, all the mistakes, all the things you wished you'd done differently, but mostly, you think about the people in your life. The ones who are most important to you.”

“Are you talking about Jake?”

He nodded slowly. “Jake, well, he hasn't come around as I'd hoped. He's a good man. I know that in my heart, but he's been hurt bad, and it's my fault…. I'm fearful for my son. He's been a loner all his life. He's never let anyone in and he's never seemed to need anyone. Until now. I think my son needs you, Cassie. Even though he's too pigheaded to admit it, he cares for you deeply. I see the way he looks at you. I've caught sight of the two of you together on the ranch and there's something powerful there. I'll tell you, until you came here to the ranch, I'd just about lost all hope with him, but now, well, I think you're his best chance for a happy life.”

Cassie shook her head. Just hours ago, up at the north pasture, she'd pretty much discounted any real future with Jake. “I don't know, John T.”

“Lottie sort of hinted that you're not too happy here anymore. I'm real sorry about that. I know it has to do with
Jake and the way he's been treating you. I'm just asking you to give him a chance. Don't make any hasty decisions. No sense pretending I don't want my grandchild being born on the ranch, but it's more than that, Cassie. I'm asking you, for Jake. Stay and try to work things out.”

Cassie doubted John T. pleaded with anyone about anything, and to see him so open, so vulnerable and honest, tugged at her heart. She couldn't leave the ranch now, more so than ever, until she was certain John T. would recover fully. She couldn't abandon him in the face of the friendship they'd developed. She took hold of his hand, being careful not to nudge the IV out of place on his arm, and squeezed gently. “Of course I'll stay, John T. The decisions I have to make can wait until you're fully recovered.”

“Thank you, Cassie. It's all I ask.”

“Maybe I should let you rest. Lottie will have my hide if I stay too long.”

John T. grinned. “She's a dynamo, that one, isn't she?”

“She cares about you.”

“Yeah, I doubt that I deserve her. She clamored in here the minute she arrived, claiming to be my wife. She actually told those nurses we were married so she could see me. When I saw her, with her heart in her eyes, I figured I'd been a fool long enough. Then I figured, why not? I don't know how many more years I have left, no sense wasting them. I've loved that woman for many years, just was too damn scared to do anything about it.”

Pleasantly stunned, Cassie asked, “What were you afraid of?”

He reached for Cassie's hand, and she was amazed at the strength he exhibited, the press of his hand upon hers. With eyes softer than she'd ever seen them, he spoke with regret. “I'd made a mess of every relationship I've ever been in. Didn't want to chance losing Lottie's friendship. But, it
seemed I almost lost her, anyway, with my mule-headed ways. So I up and asked her to marry me this afternoon. Wasn't going to say anything to anybody until I got out of the hospital, but knowing Lottie she's probably spilling the beans to Jake as we speak.”

Cassie had to physically contain her joy. She wanted to leap up from her chair, but knew she couldn't disrupt John T. and the hold he had on her hand. “You asked her to marry you! That's wonderful, John T. I couldn't be happier. What did Lottie say?”

John T.'s face wrinkled, as if puzzled by Lottie's reaction, but a soft, quizzical smile emerged, anyway. “It was the darnedest thing. I'm pretty sure she meant yes, but she said, ‘Hot molasses!'”

 

John T. was grumpier than an old polecat trapped in a wire cage, Lottie had stated plainly, and she'd let the man know from the get-go that she wouldn't put up with his tirades. Cassie had to admit Lottie had a soothing effect on him, keeping the man calm and settling him into a routine he'd rather not adhere to. But with or without his cooperation, Lottie Fairchild would see to his recovery. Cassie was grateful that she'd come by every day since he'd been released from the hospital one week ago. Her presence at the ranch allowed both she and Jake to take over the ranch duties. As they handled their new responsibilities she and Jake began to realize just how much John T. had done to keep his empire strong and prosperous.

At times Jake had seemed restless, too, almost seeming trapped, or afraid that if John T. took a turn for the worse, he'd be next in line to run the ranch. He was the heir to Anderson Ranch, whether he liked that fact or not. It was a constant puzzle to Cassie, knowing how much he loved the ranch, yet she saw indecision in his eyes, fear perhaps, too,
whenever she found him lost in thought. Jake fought his true place here at Anderson Ranch with a tireless vengeance, it seemed, and if his father's heart attack couldn't break down his defenses, Cassie believed, nothing would.

Cassie logged off the computer in her office and took a moment for herself. She stood up and stretched her arms overhead, yawning once, then again, realizing she'd been up before dawn, diligent at work. The knock at her door was welcomed. She fluffed her hair and straightened out her shirt, tucking it into her now-tight jeans. Soon she'd have to think about making a trip to the maternity store.

“Hey, Lottie. Taking a break?” She let her friend in.

“That, and Jake sent over these requisitions for you. He said there's no rush. Whenever you have time to look them over is fine.” She walked over to the kitchen table and plopped the forms down, then turned to give Cassie a big smile. “He also said to keep tonight open.”

Cassie blinked. Since John T.'s heart attack, they hadn't had much time together, alone or otherwise, other than the business they conducted for Anderson Ranch. “Did he say why?”

Lottie chuckled, a deep throaty sound. “If I had to guess, I'd say it had nothing to do with business. Well, maybe…monkey business.” Lottie let go a full-fledged laugh this time, her delight so contagious, Cassie joined in.

“Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do with that man,” Cassie admitted once their laughter died down.

Lottie kept the smile in her eyes. “Give him a chance, honey.”

That's what John T. had asked. “Don't you think I have been?”

Lottie kept her gaze steady and the directness of her answer startled Cassie. “You've been busy protecting your heart. Now, I can understand that, but maybe if you surren
der it, just a little, Jake will come to trust you. I know it's a hard thing, putting yourself out there, hoping not to get crushed, but Jake might need that from you. He's never had anyone put his or her heart on the line for him before. Do you get what I'm saying?”

Cassie had never thought of it that way before. She had been busy protecting herself. But that was a natural reaction for a woman who'd been burned before. She was the classic example of gun-shy. She'd fought her feelings for Jake, pushing him aside, rejecting him at every turn. But Lottie might be right. Jake might need a woman who would surrender the fight. Maybe he was unknowingly looking for someone ready to take everything he could dish out and still come out unscathed and wanting him, earning his loyalty, trust and maybe even his love.

Cassie didn't know if she could be that woman.

She didn't know if she wouldn't crumble under his fire. She didn't know if given a chance, Jake wouldn't permanently break her fragile heart.

She didn't just want to be married to the father of her child. She wanted to be loved by a man who couldn't live without her. There was a giant-size difference, even if Jake couldn't or wouldn't, see that.

Her reply came out in a breathy whisper. “I get what you're saying, Lottie.”

Lottie hugged Cassie, apparently aware she'd sobered up the moment. “Come on, girl. We both deserve a little break. John T. has promised to take an afternoon nap, so we can go into town and do us a little shopping. I've got a purse full of money and I want to buy the baby something nice. There's this brand-new baby store you have to see.”

 

That evening Cassie sat across from Jake in an elegant restaurant on the north shore of Lake Tahoe, the majestic
view of the emerald water a remarkable sight to behold. He'd taken her on an hour-long scenic drive along the lake just as the sun descended the horizon, claiming a need for both of them to relax after the grueling week they'd spent overseeing the ranch and worrying over John T.

When he'd appeared on her doorstep, dressed in a black Western suit, bolo tie, wearing that darn sexy black Stetson, Cassie didn't have the heart to decline his invitation, spit-shiny black boots and all. He'd given her carte blanche, all the time she needed to get ready, happy to sit in the living room and wait. Cassie had never dressed so fast in her life. A woman had to be far too sure of herself to keep such a tempting man waiting for long. Cassie didn't have that much confidence. Yet her efforts had paid off. Jake's gaze had followed her into the room, watching her every move with a prideful gleam of appreciation.

He lifted his glass of sparkling cider in a toast. Cassie had been pleased at his consideration, although she'd assured him she wouldn't mind his drinking something that packed a punch. Jake declined any alcoholic beverage. “To you, Cassie. I'm a lucky man to have such a beautiful woman as my date.”

Cassie touched her own glass of cider to his. “Thank you, Jake. This is a treat. I didn't realize how worn out I was this week. And just in time, too. I don't know how much longer I'll be fitting into my dress clothes.” With a maternal hand she laid her palm on her stomach, wondering about his comment. Was she really his date? Was he trying to court her? Heavens, she was carrying his child and they had come so far, but they'd never really dated.

Jake took a slow, leisurely tour of her body, his gaze traveling along at snail-like pace, touching each part of her, his dark, studious eyes meeting hers, then moving along to her mouth, tempting her with a hot, hungry look and then
lower yet, to linger on her breasts, enough to make her nipples peak with urgent awareness. It was a good thing he couldn't see any farther down, where her legs pressed together, tightening with need and desire.

Cassie fanned her face, shaking her wrist, the wave of her fingers thwarting the flame of the candlelight. “Whew, sure is warm in here.”

Jake loosened his tie and took off his jacket, a move that made Cassie heat up even more. “I know what you mean,” he said, a seductive gleam lighting his eyes. “You look gorgeous in green, makes your eyes look as vivid as the water in Emerald Bay, but I was sort of hoping you'd wear the black dress.”