Exploits (23 page)

Why am I here, Gary?
"I'm fine. Excited to be leaving."

"What made you decide to go?"

I'm sending out feelers, trying to sense why he's suddenly being so friendly after being such a jerk.

"Too many reasons to list."

Blue eyes penetrate mine, "I missed you."

Sure you did. You missed me like fire misses water.

I dig in my bag and unearth my smokes. I light one without asking permission. Exhaling, I stare at him bitterly through the haze. I hate being close to him. My body duels with my mind when it comes to Gary. He excites me, but my mind knows that he's a snake just waiting to strike, with enough venom to disable my nervous system and induce brain death.

"Is that so."

"You don't believe me?"

Incredulous, I stare coldly back, "No."

"Why not?"

"Well for starters, you said you wanted me dead."

"That was a joke!"

"Oh really?"

"
Yes
."

He leans forward, causing his arm muscles to leap out in definition, "Stefanie, you can't believe a word that lying bitch tells you."

Hmmm. So he thinks Cindy told me
. "Why not?"

"She's jealous, and has been trying to break us up for years."

"Jealous? She's married, Gary."

"She hates to see me happy. I blame her for
our break up!"

Crap.
"Why?"

"She got inside my head. Made me think you were bad for me. I regretted it."

Sure you did.
"Then what was the bullshit about ‘an old friend’ when you kicked me out?"

He leans back again. I'm amazed that his abs are still so flat and defined. He's closing in on thirty and still looking hot.

"It was a mistake. It's all fucked up. I should never have let you go."

Gary, shut up. Don't do this to me.
"Well you did. So, who was she?"

"I'd rather not mention her. Anyway it's history. I've been single for months."

Liar. Who was the blond I saw you with?
"I find that hard to believe."

His eyes focus sharply on mine, he seems intent that I believe him.

"I dated, but none of them came close to you."

You are such a convincing liar.
I continue smoking. Time to switch subject. "So, why'd you want to see me?"

Well, that just changed the vibe in here. He's
staring at me with such a perturbed expression. I watch him release the tension by standing and wandering sexily over to the window, staring out thoughtfully. I wish he wouldn't wear knitted shirts that cling to his shoulders. He's so fucking hot he should get fined for breaking a law.

Stop thinking that; he's looking at you again. I stare at his captivating blues defined by dark, haughty eyebrows and long eyelashes.

"I needed to tell you something."

Like what? You have AIDS? And I might too?

"I'm listening."

"It's hard for me to say."

You are making me nervous! How bad can it be? I'll kill you if you've given me some life threatening disease.

I stare.

He walks back, and sits down on the coffee table. His knees an inch away from mine. He puts one self-assured hand on my knee, stares deep into my eyes and tells me, "I love you."

I recoil from him.
No. No.
No.
Gary, don't you dare fuck with my head and my heart again! Why must you torment me like this?

The hand tightens, "Stefanie, listen to me. I'm
not trying to hurt you. I just don't want you to leave without knowing how much I love you."

No!
My mind is screaming in denial. My ears want to block to shut it out.
Why now?
"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I don't want to lose you."

You have already. When you kicked me out for an old friend.
I shove the hand off my knee, feeling angry, "Gary, I'm not a toy. You can't keep on dumping me and then change your mind."

He looks like he's going to cry again.
No. Oh, please don't cry!

His hand, which he's returned to my knee, starts trembling. "Stefanie, goddammit. Do you think this is easy for me? You forced my hand by leaving. I wanted more time, to do it properly. To do it right."

Gary, your hand is hurting me.

"Please stay. I need more time with you. I'm not ready to lose you."

SNAP.

"No!"

SHOVE. Stand. Glare down into those throat constricting eyes, "Fuck you, Gary. You are such a liar. I've sold everything. I have no job. I'm due to leave in just over twenty-four hours, and
now
you decide to pull this shit on me? Why the hell would I ever want to come back to you?"

"Because you love me. I know you do."

You've got me there.
I loathe myself, because I can feel emotion rushing up to overflow.

"And then? Then what? I become your victim again by being your housewife?" I grimace at him, resisting, and argue, "And give up on my dreams, for you? What makes you think you're worth that? I won't, Gary. I won't. I'm doing this for ME."

"Postpone it."

Why am I wanting to? Why are you so irresistible to me?
"And then what?"

"Give me the time to resign at work, so that I can come with you."

He stands up and looks down into my eyes. Wrapping his arms around me, he implores, "Please, Stefanie. I'd do anything to keep you. I'll give up everything here and come with you. Just give me the time I need to sell this place."

I’m broken. All I ever wanted was to be loved and cherished. But delicious men keep on dumping me without warning.

"Gary, plane tickets don't grow on trees. I'll lose that money. This is seriously impractical."

His arms tighten as his mouth gets closer to my ear, "I'll give you the money to replace it. It's perfect, don't you see? You've got your stuff sorted out, now we just have to sort out mine."

My knees are weakening, as I coat his body with mine when he starts kissing my neck.

"I love you. I need you. Please, Stefanie, stay with me."

God, his voice is a salve, adoring and seductive. My mind is telling me no. But his argument is logical. And my body craves him. I drop my head weakly against his chest. "Gary, if you hurt me again, it will destroy me."

His kisses feel so good that I can feel my
nipples hardening.

A throaty whisper in my ear, "I promise I won't." He tilts my head back, staring into my turbulent eyes, "I need you."

His lips cover mine, all of the old desires resurface. He knows my weakness.
He
is my weakness.

His hands roam, find home. He rests one on my throat as he lifts his head, "Will you stay?"

I nod. Knowing it's insane. His smile could melt the polar caps as a hand slips under my shirt to play with my nipple, "I missed you so much!"

I resist with a mammoth effort. Pulling away, I play hard ball.

"One condition."

"Anything."

"You tell me who she was."

He looks fearful, but obviously is sincere because he gives me the answer, "Lesley."

WHO!

Chapter 30

Lesley

…
Pause …

LESLEY!
  That hurtles my mind into the wall and smashes it in disgust. Of all the people on the planet, he dumped me for the biggest slut in my school. (I know you don't think this is a big deal but for me, it's huge. No comprendo?)

You see, Lesley and I just never got on at school. I was a good girl and totally disapproved of going to bars (underage), and sucking dicks to get free drinks from bartenders. Which Lesley did without conscience. In fact, every horny male frequenting the place knew she'd blow him for a cigarett
e
–
she was the best thing to hit the local pool hall. She spent half of her school life on her back or on her knees, instead of getting an education. I deplore everything she stands for. That girl doesn't have standards. She has none. There is nothing and nobody she won't screw. It's not a compliment at all that he went off to fuck
that
. I know how he met her though. He met her through Adelle.

Lesley *Bedspread* is shorter than me and five times heftier. She has boobs that hang past her belly button and has hideous acne scars on her face. This forces me to deduce that the only thing going for her is her mouth and how she can use it, because I know for a fact that she doesn't have
beauty or brains, and after the sheer numbers of boys – (and teachers
)
–
she screwed at school. I doubt very much she's 'untouched and glove-like' in the other department. Lesley. I'm gonna be sick.

Remember I told you about the girls who used to phone him when we were dating? The ones with balls? SHE IS ONE OF THEM. She was my biggest competition in landing Fuhquim? And now all I can think about is how long has this jerk been
nailing her behind my back? It's been years since high school, but I can't get rid of her. To be honest, there's absolutely nothing to say to him. I am so disgusted he'd screw that truck. He dropped me for
that
. Not something cute like baby girl.
That
I could understand. No, instead he betrayed me. That is a state line he's just not allowed to cross.

… Play...

GASP!

"Sorry Gary, but there's nothing left between us. Gross!"

He looks like he's either going to hit something, or cry. I have never witnessed him looking so unnerved.

"No, Stefanie." His voice morphs into whiny pleading, "Stefanie, please, you don't understand."

"I understand perfectly. You dropped me so you could fuck her. Which you already have. If that's what you like, then we aren't compatible at
all."

"It was a MISTAKE.
Please
. God woman, how many times must I tell you that I made a huge mistake letting you go. I let that little bitch fuck with my mind and convince me I'd be happier with Lesley. She was wrong! I need you. Lesley is history."

I cannot believe that Cindy would condone, or instigate, him getting together with Lesley. Cindy does not socialise with Lesley at all. I know this is all Gary. He found her, or she found him, or they never let each other go all those years ago, and have been laughing at my naive expense for years.

Glaring at him, oozing disgust, "You are despicable!"

I grab my bag and start heading for the door. I pull it open, my heart pounding in my chest. I can't believe how much this knowledge hurts. This is a
whole new low, even for Gary. How desperate was he for a shag, that her name came up in the black-book-Russian-roulette.

Almost choking on tears, I yank the door. I did everything,
everything,
everything
he ever asked of me. I denied him
nothing.
But somehow that slug got my man. I hate him and wish someone would give
her
a bullet to suck on.

SLAM.

In shock, I recoil from the hand that slammed the door from behind me. It grips me, tight, by my upper arm. "THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU. I knew you'd react like this. I knew you'd think I loved her instead of you. I knew you'd think it was a match made in heaven because of my history with her.
And it wasn’t like that.
We got together briefly. We had a couple of drinks together. Yes, I fucked her, Twice, if you have to know. But it was just out of curiosity. The minute I did it I knew I'd made a mistake. I knew there'd be no going back with you if you ever found out. Why the hell do you think I tried so hard to hide it?"

I am fighting with his fingers, desperately trying to uncoil them from my arm before I burst into tears and give him the satisfaction of knowing he's hurt me. Twice? What? He wasn’t sure the first time?  He had to give it another bash?

SHAKE!

"Dammit, Stef, listen to me,
please
. I can't lose you, you're the only thing in my life that matters. I was so stubborn, I insisted I didn't need you. After less than a week I got rid of Lesley and haven't spoken to her since. I hate that bitch Cindy for screwing up my life. I hate myself for falling for her lies! Stefanie, please baby, come on, you know I'm telling you the truth. I knew the risk of telling you, but I did, I'm being honest. I'm giving you full disclosure. I tried dating, but they're all so annoying and full of shit. I missed you like hell. Baby, come on, please? Stay?"

His arms close around me and I'm sandwiched between Gary's muscular body and the solid wood front door.