Extra Time (35 page)

Jim pushed a hand through his hair, walking over to her, but she backed away. ‘Amber, I really didn’t think it was important, I mean, she moved over to New York before Brandon was born, and we were never really together as a couple. Not for long, anyway…’

Amber narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. ‘You told me you were never together as a couple at all. You told me it was one night, that was all. Just one night. You told me it meant nothing… Why the hell do you find it so fucking hard to be honest with me, Jim? Why? I just don’t get it. It’s like… it’s like you’re trying everything you can to push me further away.’

‘It isn’t like that, Amber.’

‘Then why lie to me? Again? You told me we weren’t even together when this happened, so I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me you met her over here? What difference would it have made?’

‘I don’t… Look, I got so much shit wrong, okay?’

‘You think?’

‘And I didn’t tell you about Brandon’s mom because… because I didn’t think you needed to know… I didn’t think…’

‘No. You didn’t. You never do. Oh, do you know what? I’ve had enough of this. I don’t even want to think about it anymore, I’m out of here.’

‘We were married, Amber. Me and Brandon’s mom. We were married.’

She stopped dead in her tracks, keeping her back to him.

‘But it was a marriage of convenience, I swear to you…’

Amber didn’t want to hang around and listen to any more. She was tired, of so much more than just Jim’s lies.

‘Amber, baby, please…’

She just shook her head as she walked out of his office, closing the door quietly behind her.

‘Everything all right?’

She looked up at the sound of Ryan’s voice. He was standing out in the corridor, hands in his pockets as he leaned back against the wall.

‘Everything’s fine.’

‘Really?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘It’s none of your business, Ryan.’

‘I still care about you, Amber. I told you, those feelings haven’t gone away.’

‘Then maybe you need to make sure they leave soon, because the last thing I need is…’ She sighed, leaning back against the wall beside him. ‘I’m so tired.’

‘Of what?’

‘Everything.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

She turned to look at him, smiling slightly. ‘What? With you?’

‘Why not? I’m not the guy I used to be, Amber. I’m a grown-up now.’

‘Haven’t you got a girlfriend you need to take out somewhere?’ She was still smiling. She couldn’t help it.

‘Not tonight. I’m going home alone tonight.’
For the last time
, he thought. And that thought was something that made him feel quite sick inside. He didn’t always like being alone, but sometimes it had its perks.

‘Well, I’m sure you could quite easily change that, if you wanted to,’ Amber said, quickly looking back at Jim’s closed office door. How had things got so bad between them? When all she really wanted, deep down inside, despite everything, was to be with him. So why was she pushing him away? Why wasn’t she giving him a chance to explain things? Because she was tired of listening to his excuses, that’s why. ‘I’ll see you later, Ryan.’ She started walking away but stopped briefly to look over her shoulder, smiling a bigger smile this time. ‘Oh, and congratulations on the England call-up, by the way. Captain, too, huh? You must be doing something right.’

She practically ran the short distance back to the Players’ Lounge, finding Ronnie chatting to a couple of fellow TV football pundits at the bar.

‘You all right?’ he asked, frowning slightly as he looked at her.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just need a word, that’s all.’

‘Oh. Okay. Now?’

‘Please.’

He quickly said his goodbyes, and followed Amber out of the lounge.

‘Get enough fresh air, did you?’ he asked, almost running to keep up with her as she strode quickly out into the main reception area, heading for the exit. ‘Amber, hang on, will you? What’s the rush? Where are we going?’

She stopped briefly at the top of the steps outside, turning to look at him. ‘We’re going home.
Your
home.’

‘My…? What about Jim? Amber, what’s going on?’

‘Do you want to fuck me, Ronnie?’

‘You know I do.’

‘Then shut up, stop asking questions, and let’s go home.’

Ryan pushed a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. Every time he thought he might just be over her, something happened to make him realise he wasn’t. He wasn’t over her. He wasn’t over that life they could have had together, that future he’d ruined. He wasn’t over the fact they’d been just a matter of weeks away from a wedding –
their
wedding. He wasn’t over any of it, and he needed to be. He wanted to be. He wanted to be able to look at her and not feel the regret and the guilt. He wanted to be able to hold down another relationship without her always intruding into his thoughts, affecting his life. And if that meant leaving Newcastle Red Star, just for a while, in order for that to have any chance of happening, then that was the way it had to be. Even though, in his heart of hearts, he knew he was only using it as some kind of personal rehab attempt that had no guarantee of working. But he had to give it a try. He had no other choice. Because he knew he had no chance of moving forward if he stayed in Newcastle.

‘You still hanging around, Fisher?’ Jim said, finally coming out of his office. ‘I would have thought you had better things to do than loiter round the corridors here when there are women out there just waiting to be entertained by your very presence.’

‘Are you condoning me going out on a bender, boss?’

‘I’m sure those weren’t my words, Ryan. And I’m sure you know how to enjoy yourself without resorting to the kind of behaviour we saw from you last season.’

Ryan said nothing for a second, not until Jim started walking away. ‘How soon do you think it could be, boss? Before any kind of loan could be sorted out?’

Jim slowly turned around, fixing his star striker with a firm stare. ‘I can’t work miracles, Ryan. But I’ve got a few people at the F.A. I can have a quiet word with.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You seem slightly more desperate than you were when I spoke to you not twenty minutes ago. Something happened?’

Ryan looked down at the floor, scuffing the heel of his trainer against the red skirting boards.

‘You been talking to Amber?’ Jim didn’t miss the change in Ryan’s body language when he asked that question. ‘Ryan. Is something going on between you and my wife?’

Ryan looked up, the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop them. ‘I don’t think it’s me you should be keeping an eye on, boss. I think you need to be looking closer to home on that score.’

‘Just lie still, and I promise you, you’ll enjoy this,’ Ronnie said, lightly running his fingers over Amber’s back, up and down, slowly and gently.

‘Oh, that feels so good,’ Amber groaned, closing her eyes and letting him do all the work. ‘My shoulders were so tense.’

‘They still are,’ he whispered, leaning over so his mouth was close to her ear. ‘But I can change that.’

She smiled, letting out another low moan as his fingers started to knead the space between her shoulder blades, digging deep, a beautiful pain that sent shivers right through her.

‘Just yell if I’m pushing too hard.’

Amber couldn’t help but smile again. ‘You could never push too hard, Ronnie.’

He laughed, leaning over again until his lips were touching the back of her neck, his fingers moving down, his thumbs stroking the edges of her spine as his mouth followed in their wake.

Amber gripped the pillow, keeping her eyes closed as his hands reached her lower back, stroking her hips, moving down to her thighs and around to caress her bottom. It was all she could do to stop herself from crying out loud; it felt incredible!

‘Jesus, Ronnie… Why wasn’t it like this when we were together?’

‘Because
you
always took the lead, missy. Remember?’

She smiled again, her stomach dipping and diving as he gently parted her legs, his hands now back on her bottom, pushing her up onto her knees.

‘But I think you’ll find that, this time,
I’m
in charge.’

‘I’m all yours,’ she moaned, gripping the pillow tighter as he spread her legs wider, kneeling up behind her. And before she had a chance to catch her breath he’d pushed into her, gently and slowly, pulling her back against him until he was deep, deep inside her.

Pushing herself harder against him, she screamed out as each thrust he gave brought with it an exquisite pain, his hands on her hips keeping her in position, her fingers still gripping the pillows. She clung onto them, tighter and tighter with every move he made, until the inevitable crashing climax swept over them both, his body jarring and shuddering behind her first, before her own gave in to those beautiful waves of pleasure, and she couldn’t help but scream even louder as it did so.

‘You are killing me, kiddo,’ Ronnie breathed, rolling over onto his back, throwing his arms up above his head.

‘You just need to get back in shape.’ She collapsed onto her stomach, letting the last of those delicious post-sex tingles shudder through her.

‘I’m in perfect shape, I’ll have you know.’ He grinned, reaching out to gently stroke her thoroughly messed-up hair away from her face.

‘You keep telling yourself that.’ Amber smirked, closing her eyes as he kissed her, slow and deep, causing one or two final, lingering tingles to make themselves felt. ‘Ronnie…’

‘Uh oh. That doesn’t sound like the beginning of a sentence I want to hear the end of.’ He sat up, and Amber followed, pulling the sheet up over her naked body, although quite why she was doing that she had no idea, considering he’d seen all of her and so much more not a few seconds ago. ‘Come on. What’s up?’

‘What are we doing?’ Her voice was quiet, almost as if the realisation of how wrong this was had finally hit home.

‘Well, unless I’m very much mistaken, I’d say we were conducting a very steamy…’ He leaned over, kissing her again, ‘… very,
very
sexy affair. What do
you
think we’re doing?’

She hung her head, her fingers fiddling with the white cotton sheet. ‘I think we’re playing a very dangerous game.’

Ronnie sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘I guess playtime’s over.’

She looked at him. She hadn’t been sure what she’d wanted before, but looking at him now, she knew what she had to do. What they
both
had to do.

‘I don’t
want
to end it, Ronnie. I just think we should. Before it goes too far.’

He leaned forward again, gently pulling the sheet away from her. ‘Whatever you think is best, kiddo. We never said this was gonna be forever.’

‘No,’ she whispered, closing her eyes again as his mouth rested against hers, his breath warm on her face. ‘No. We didn’t.’

‘But I really hate ending things just like that, don’t you?’

She couldn’t help smiling, sliding an arm around his neck as he pulled her astride him. ‘Are you trying to say you want one more ride before we forget this ever happened?’

‘Well, a guy’s gotta try, hasn’t he?’

‘And sometimes he’ll get what he wants.’ She wrapped her legs around him, her forehead resting against his. ‘One last time, anyway.’

He let his fingers run lightly up her arm, an almost absent-minded action, as he looked right into her pale blue eyes. ‘Why now, Amber? Why decide to do this now? Today? Did something happen tonight?’

She said nothing for a second, before climbing off him, grabbing his shirt up off the floor and slipping it on. ‘Jim’s been married before.’

Ronnie frowned. ‘Huh?’

She turned to look at him. ‘He’s been married before.’

‘He told you that? Tonight?’

She nodded, leaning back against the wall. ‘Brandon told me earlier that he’s been called up for the England squad, and obviously, because he’s American, I asked him why he was playing for England. Jim told me he met Brandon’s mum in the States, so I just assumed she was American, but… but Brandon told me he met her in Britain. Here, in the North East. She’s English.’

‘More lies?’ Ronnie asked, getting up out of bed, pulling on his jeans before walking over to her.

‘More lies,’ Amber whispered.

Ronnie leaned back against the wall beside her, his hands in his pockets. ‘So, what’s the story, then?’

‘I don’t know,’ Amber shrugged. ‘I didn’t give him a chance to explain. At the time I didn’t even want him to. I just wanted to get out of there, wanted to get away from the lies and the secrets and… I don’t know, Ronnie. It just feels like one thing after another right now.’

‘But you want to know the truth, don’t you?’

She nodded, looking down at the floor.

‘I knew something had happened. Amber, babe, why do you let him do this to you?’

‘Because I love him, Ronnie.’ She looked at him. ‘It’s as simple as that. I love him. Always have, always will. Nothing can change that. Not even you.’

‘And what if he tells you something you really don’t want to hear?’

She looked down at the floor again, her fingers fiddling with the bottom of the shirt she was wearing. ‘I said nothing can change the fact I love him, Ronnie. I didn’t say it meant everything would be all right.’

Ronnie threw his head back, closing his eyes for a second. ‘What happened to escaping, Amber?’

‘I can’t run away from things forever, can I? There are so many questions to ask, so many things to face up to, and I don’t think I can do any of that while I’m hiding from the truth, do you?’

‘That’s very grown-up of you.’

‘If there was ever a time to be grown-up about things, it’s now. Don’t you think?’

He looked at her, reaching out to take her hand, squeezing it gently. ‘I guess that one last time isn’t gonna happen now, huh?’

She shook her head, gripping his hand tighter.

‘Well, it was fun while it lasted.’ Ronnie smiled. ‘Playing out, I mean.’

‘Yeah. Yeah, it was,’ she whispered, looking into his eyes and hoping he understood. Hoping this didn’t mean their friendship had changed, because the last thing she wanted was for that relationship to be damaged in any way.