Fabulous Five 014 - The Seventh-Grade Menace (2 page)

"Igor may be
dying
?
" Jana asked
incredulously. "Come on. Be serious. You're kidding me, right?"

"No," said Shane. "Something really bad is
wrong with him. He just lies in his box and he hasn't eaten in three days."

"Have you taken him to a veterinarian?"

"They don't know anything about iguanas."

"What about the zoo?"

"My dad took Igor to the zoo, and they told him how to
mix some mashed worms with a little medicine they thought might help. He wasn't
interested in eating it either, but we pushed it down his throat with the
eraser end of a pencil. He hasn't gotten any better, though."

Jana felt her stomach lurch at the thought of mashing worms.

"Does he have a fever?" she asked, changing the subject
quickly.

Shane looked at her quizzically. "I don't know how to
take an iguana's temperature, do you?"

"You put a thermometer in his mouth, maybe?" she
asked hopefully, then shook her head, knowing that sounded dumb.

"Actually, they're cold-blooded animals so I don't
think it's the same as with a dog or cat," said Shane.

Jana was about to suggest that, if lizards were cold-blooded
animals, maybe the closer Igor's temperature was to freezing, the healthier he
was. But that didn't make much sense either.

"Can Igor have visitors?" she asked.

Shane looked at her, obviously pleased. "Sure. Do you
want to see him?"

"Why not?" Even though she was going along with
the conversation, Jana was still half-afraid that Shane would break out
laughing and tell her it was all a joke.

They walked the extra blocks past Jana's apartment building
in silence. When they reached his house, Shane pushed the door open and let
Jana enter in front of him.

She looked around the room as he shrugged off his jacket and
hung up hers in the closet. The walls of the living room were covered with
posters, similar to ones Jana had seen in news stories about the 1960s. There
were lots of flowers and peace symbols, and others were blown-up pictures of
crowds of people with long hair and headbands milling around or standing on
street corners. All the men had beards and wore patched jeans, and the women
were mostly dressed in long, loose dresses and had flowers in their hair.

The furniture in the room consisted mainly of large pillows
thrown around on the floor, a couple of low tables, and an expensive-looking
stereo. Jana's eyes were drawn upward. The ceiling was covered with Styrofoam
cups that looked like little bluntnosed stalactites.

"It's my dad's idea of how to improve the acoustics,"
said Shane, noticing her upward glance. "He listens to his old records in
here. Come on. Igor's in my room." He led the way down a hall.

Shane's room was totally different from what Jana had seen
of the rest of the house. It was neat and had pictures of baseball and football
players on the walls. Over his desk was a photograph of a man and a woman who
could have come straight out of one of the sixties posters in the living room.

"That's my mom and dad," he said when he saw Jana
looking at it.

It was obvious where Shane got his good looks. His mother
was a thin, pretty lady, with long, brown hair. She was very young in the
picture. His father was tall, with chiseled features, and a black beard.

Igor lay quietly sunning himself under a heat lamp in a box
filled with sand and rocks in one corner of the room. There were two plants
that looked like miniature potted trees wedged in between rocks, and a plastic
pan of water was sunk in one corner like a little pool. All Igor needs is
sunglasses and a swimsuit, Jana thought, holding in a giggle. It looks as if he's
posing for an advertisement for a Florida vacation.

The greenish-brown iguana was over two feet long and lay so
still she would have thought he was dead except for an occasional blink of his
black eyes and the throbbing of the folds of skin under his throat as he
breathed.

"He hasn't moved in the last two days," said
Shane.

"Have you fed him anything different that might have
made him sick?" asked Jana.

"Just the mashed worms and medicine."

Jana scrunched up her nose at the thought of the horrible
mess. "Anything else besides that gourmet meal? He hasn't gotten out when
you weren't looking, has he?"

"No," Shane answered, shaking his head.

Jana thought hard. She wished that she could think of
something that would help, but she was certainly no expert on iguanas.

"How about a soda?" asked Shane.

"I don't think you could get him to drink one,"
said Jana, laughing.

"I don't mean for Igor, dummy. I mean for us."

Jana followed him into the kitchen, where the walls were painted
a bright red and hung with more peace posters.

Shane opened the refrigerator to get out the sodas, and she
saw that it was mostly full of health foods. He had once said that his mother
and father ate a lot of fruit and things made with grains, and drank homemade
vegetable juices. Shane took out an apple and offered it to her.

"Aren't you afraid that Max McNatt is going to catch on
to you someday?" Jana asked as they sat at the table drinking the cola and
eating apples. "He and his brother Joe might beat you up."

"I don't know what you mean," Shane said in a
perfectly serious voice. "Max and I are buddies." The twitching at
the corners of his mouth showed he was having a difficult time not smiling.

"You may think you are, but one of these days he's
going to catch on to your tricks."

"Oh, Max is all right," said Shane. "He just
likes to pretend he's tough. He wouldn't hurt anyone."

"His sister is a lot like him," said Jana. "Except
she's not as big."

Shane looked at her. "Geena? What's she been doing?"

"She picks on people who can't defend themselves, like
Whitney Larkin."

"I guess she does take after her brothers," said
Shane.

They were still sitting at the table talking when Shane's
mother and father came home, and he introduced them to Jana. She had been dying
to meet them since she knew they had been hippies, and she had heard all sorts
of things about them, such as how Mrs. Arrington used to bring rice balls and
chopsticks instead of cupcakes to school for Shane's birthday when he was in
the lower grades.

Mrs. Arrington was still pretty and had a sweet, almost
angelic smile, but she had gained weight since the picture in Shane's room was
taken, and her stomach was round. As she walked into the room, she was letting
her hair down from a bun, and it fell to her waist.

Shane's father still wore a beard, although it was neatly
trimmed, and his hair was long in back and gray at the temples. He was wearing
a pin-striped suit.

"Let me at that fridge," said Mr. Arrington after
saying hello to Jana. He tossed his suit coat carelessly over the back of a
chair and took out a large pitcher that was full of an unidentifiable
gray-looking liquid and filled a glass.

Jana watched in fascination as his Adam's apple bobbed up
and down with each swallow. All he needs is a mole on his cheek and he would
look like Abraham Lincoln, thought Jana.

"Care for some carrot and cucumber juice?" Mr.
Arrington said, holding the pitcher out to Jana. "I made it myself."

Jana shook her head. "No thanks." The drink was
probably nutritious, but if it tasted anything like it looked, she didn't want
to gag in front of Shane's parents.

"I've got to go," Jana said, getting up. "I've
got lots of homework tonight."

Shane walked her to the door. The Arringtons' old orange
Volkswagen Beetle with flowers and butterflies painted on the sides sat in the
driveway.

"I'm really sorry about Igor. I hope he gets better
soon," Jana said to Shane. "And by the way, your parents are very
nice."

He smiled. "They're different, but they're all I've
got."

After dinner, Jana's stepfather Pink volunteered to help her
mother with the dishes, and Jana went to call Randy before tackling her
homework.

"Hi," she said when Randy answered. "Have you
heard the rumor about me running for Miss Seventh Grade?"

"Yes," he responded. "I was going to ask you about
that. When did you decide to do it?"

"I haven't actually," she said, laughing. "Funny
Hawthorne is the one who made the whole thing up. She says that she thinks you
and I would make perfect Mr. and Miss Seventh Grade. Katie, Christie, Beth, and
Melanie said they thought so too, and they're pushing me to run."

"I think you'd have a good chance of winning. I don't
know a nicer girl in the entire class, but of course I'm prejudiced."

The sound in his voice made warm fingers dance up and down
her spine.

"That's nice of you to say," she answered in a
soft voice. "But I told my friends that the only way I would do it was if
you would run for Mr. Seventh Grade."

The other end of the telephone line was quiet for a moment
as Randy thought about what she'd said. Jana held her breath as she waited. It
wasn't so much that she wanted to be Miss Seventh Grade. It was more that she
wanted for Randy and her to be Mr. and Miss Seventh Grade together. It would be
so perfect.

"If you really want to," he finally said. "I
wouldn't do it either if you weren't going to run. That's the only way it would
mean anything to me."

Jana thought she would faint with happiness. Randy had said
yes! She couldn't wait to tell the rest of The Fabulous Five.

"Randy said he
would
run for Mr. Seventh Grade
if
I
would run for
Miss
Seventh Grade!" Jana almost squealed
the news to the rest of The Fabulous Five as she joined them by the school
fence the next morning.

"Fantastic!" said Christie, jumping up and down.

Melanie rolled her eyes back in her head. "Oh! You'll
make the
dreamiest
Mr. and Miss Seventh Grade."

"Plans! We've got to make plans," shouted Beth. "The
election is next Wednesday."

"Don't get excited, everybody," said Katie,
putting her hands up as if she were a traffic cop. "We'll handle it. The
first thing Jana and Randy have to do is register their names in the office.
That means we have to get fifty signatures for each of them first."

"Right," said Christie. "Everybody take two
sheets of paper and write 'Jana Morgan for Miss Seventh Grade' on one, and 'Randy
Kirwan for Mr. Seventh Grade' on the other, and get kids to sign them."

"We'd better ask if they've signed some other Fab Five's
petition, though," said Melanie. "Duplicates won't count."

Jana grinned and nodded. It was great to know that she had
such super friends. They were really excited about her running. "We'll
compare petitions at lunch and strike out duplicates."

Christie jumped up and down. "We've got to have a
planning meeting!" she chirped excitedly. "And we need to include the
guys in on it."

"We could have a planning meeting at
my
house,"
Beth added. "Except if all my brothers and sisters are home, we won't be
able to hear each other talk."

"We can have it at my house," Melanie chimed in.

"Okay. We'll meet at your house," said Jana. "At
least until your parents get tired of our having our meetings in your family
room."

Suddenly Jana remembered something else she had wanted to
ask her friends. "Did any of you know that Igor is sick?"

"Igor?" Christie asked, raising her eyebrows. The
others looked at each other with concern showing on their faces.

"Shane didn't say anything to me," said Katie. "I
was talking to him yesterday afternoon in social studies."

"He told me after we left Bumpers yesterday," said
Jana. "Then I went over to his house to see Igor, and he
didn't
look good. Shane said he hasn't moved in three days."

"How does a sick iguana look?" asked Beth. "Was
Igor all green around the gills?"

"He always looks green around the gills," said
Katie. "That's his natural color."

"Oh, yeah," Beth said.

In spite of the fact that she did care about Shane's pet,
Jana giggled. "I couldn't see any difference in his color. Someone his dad
talked to at the zoo told him to feed Igor mashed worms with some medicine that
he recommended."

"Eee-YEW!"
said Melanie, screwing her face
into a funny expression. "That's gross!"

Christie stuck her tongue out as if she were going to throw
up.
"Ugh!"

"Shane's really worried," said Jana, frowning. "He
told me he thought Igor might even die."

"Oh, no!" said Beth with a look of horror. "What
would he do without Igor?"

"Maybe we should send Igor get-well cards," said
Katie. "It might cheer Shane up."

"And we could wear yellow ribbons to show we're pulling
for him," suggested Christie.

"That's what we did for Randy when he was in the
hospital," complained Jana.

"That's all right," responded Christie. "Randy
deserves as much consideration as Igor does."

Jana's mouth dropped open. Then she saw the twinkle in
Christie's eyes as she nudged Katie. Christie was teasing her.

"Okay. Those are great ideas," said Jana,
laughing. "Let's tell everyone we know and get them all to do the same
thing. Tomorrow morning everybody show up with yellow ribbons on."

"All
right
!
" shouted Melanie.

After English class Jana met Randy in the hall, just as she
did every day. She was so excited about The Fabulous Five's plans for getting
them both nominated, she filled him in right away. "And here are my
petitions for you and me," she added, showing them to him, "and you've
got to sign in the space I left right below my name. Oh," she said,
remembering. "First I'm supposed to ask if you've signed anyone else's
petition for us."

"No," Randy said, laughing. "Wow! You must
have fifteen names already." He took her notebook and scribbled his name
where she'd pointed.

"Unless there are a lot of duplicates, I wouldn't be
surprised if we got the fifty signatures today."

"It's kind of nice to know that you've got so many
friends," he said, handing the petition back to her.

Jana was surprised to see how fast the word had spread about
Randy and her. Dekeisha Adams, Sara Sawyer, Mona Vaughn, and lots of other
people stopped her in the hallway between classes to tell her they would vote
for her and Randy. Garrett Boldt, who was in the eighth grade and was the
photographer for the yearbook, told her that he wished he could be in the
seventh grade for just one day so he could vote for her. Even Taffy Sinclair,
who had been Jana's worst enemy at Mark Twain Elementary, smiled sweetly and
told her that, since
she
didn't have time to run for Miss Seventh Grade
herself because of her busy modeling schedule, she would vote for Jana.

Jana watched Taffy walk away holding hands with Cory Dillon,
the lead guitar player with the student rock group, The Dreadful Alternatives.
She couldn't help remembering how The Fabulous Five had once started a club
against Taffy Sinclair at Mark Twain Elementary. Taffy had been so snotty then
and was always trying to steal Randy Kirwan away from Jana. While Taffy was still
something of a show-off, she was going with Cory now, and she and Jana were
getting along a lot better at Wacko Junior High.

When Jana walked into the cafeteria at lunch period, the
first person she met was Curtis Trowbridge. "I heard the news about you
and Randy running for Mr. and Miss Seventh Grade in
The Wigwam
contest.
As you're probably aware, as seventh-grade editor of the newspaper, I have to
maintain an unbiased position." Then he adjusted his black horn-rimmed
glasses, winked slyly, and said, "But frankly, I'll be pulling for you."

Jana smiled to herself. Curtis
was
the world's
biggest nerd. His straight hair always seemed to have a cowlick standing up in
back, even though he obviously tried to plaster it down with something sticky.
She had been saved from the mad crush he had on her in elementary school when
he met Whitney Larkin at Wakeman.

As Jana made her way through the lunch line, other kids
stopped to congratulate her and tell her they would vote for her and Randy.
Even Clarence Marshall, who was always a pain, said he would vote twice for
her. Three times if she would give him her dessert. By the time she had made
her way to where The Fabulous Five were sitting, she had talked to at least
twenty people who said she had their vote.

"Jana, we think we've got enough signatures already,"
Beth said excitedly.

Katie and Christie each had four sheets of paper placed side
by side in front of them and were checking names as they ate their lunches. "We're
comparing lists to see if there are any duplications," mumbled Katie
around a mouthful of yogurt.

"Here's mine," said Jana, dropping her petitions
next to the others. "Have you heard about anyone else running?" she
asked Beth and Melanie.

The two of them shook their heads.

"I did hear that Chet Miller is going to run for Mr.
Ninth Grade," said Beth.

"And I heard that Shelly Bramlett and Daphne Alexandrou
are running for Miss Eighth Grade," said Melanie.

"Gee, I don't know which one I'd vote for," said
Jana. "They're both nice."

"Seventy-five names for Jana," said Christie. "And
no duplications."

"And seventy-five for Randy," said Katie.

"It's not surprising since everyone who signed for Jana
signed for Randy, too," said Beth. "When kids think of Jana, they
think of Randy and vice versa. Instead of waiting until Friday, you can turn
the petitions in today."

Heather Clark and Melinda Thaler stopped at the table. "You
and Randy have got my vote," said Heather.

"From what I hear, there doesn't need to be an
election," said Melinda. "You and Randy will win easily."

Alexis Duvall stopped by to give her support, too. Jana
noticed Geena McNatt, who was by herself as usual. She was drinking a carton of
chocolate milk and came up to stand behind Katie as if to eavesdrop.

"Is it true you and Randy are going to run for Mr. and
Miss Seventh Grade?" asked Alexis.

"We've got the petitions with seventy-five names on
them right here," said Katie, pointing at the papers spread out on the
table in front of her.

Christie tossed the papers she had been checking on top of
Katie's.

"Those are the petitions?" asked Geena, reaching
over Katie's shoulder to spread the papers with one hand as she sucked on the
straw stuck into her chocolate milk.

Jana nodded and turned back to speak to the others. "I
don't think Randy and I—"

"Look out!" cried Katie. Chocolate milk was
running down her front and splashing all over the petitions.

"Oh! I'm
so
sorry," said Geena, sweetness
dripping from her voice.

Jana dabbed at the brown stain on Katie's shirt with her
napkin while Katie and Christie grabbed the petitions and shook the milk off
them.

Jana stared at Geena in disbelief. Had she spilt the milk on
purpose? While Geena said she was sorry, Jana could swear her eyes had a
twinkle in them. Jana took a napkin offered by Melanie, and when she turned
around again, Geena was gone.