Facing Me (10 page)

Aiden pushes
roughly to his feet and takes my hand.  Without a word, I lead us out of
the bar with a final wave to Daisy, who is now wrapped around Gray on the dance
floor.  Once Aiden and I are tucked into a cab, I give the name of the
hotel to the driver.  I look at the love of my life, curled away from me
against the window, staring at the street lights.  Seeing him like this
makes my heart hurt.  The beating in my chest does nothing but keep my
blood pumping.  My heart, however, has been with this man since I met
him.  Now that I’m sitting beside him, more broken than I’ve ever imagined
he could be, I feel like I have to force myself to breathe for the both of
us.  If I concentrate on both of us, then we will make it through this, to
the other side.  I have to make Aiden realize that I am here and not going
anywhere. 
Why should he believe you Cam?  You left before…you’ll
leave again.
“No.  I.
  Won’t
.” I shout
before realizing I had opened my mouth.

Aiden’s entire body goes rigid at my
outburst.  Reaching out, I grab his hand, lacing our fingers.
"Sorry." I mumble nervously.  The tension pours off his body;
filling the cab so thick I swear I can taste it.  I expect him to yank his
hand free, to ignore me, but he doesn't.  

To my surprise,
Aiden faces me and pulls me into his arms.  He buries his face in my hair,
inhaling my scent.  Aiden's breathing is erratic, his chest heaving with
pent up adrenaline from the club.  His fingers stroke my back slowly,
tapping out an unknown rhythm as they move along my body.  I blow out the
breath I've been holding since the club, when I came out of the bathroom.
 Allowing myself to become his instrument, as I have many times before;
but this time it's different.  It's not sexual. It's intimate, comforting,
and whether I know it or not, it's what we both need right now.  Who am I
to deny him that, or myself for that matter?  

My body relaxes,
melting into him, earning me a sigh from his lips. "That's my girl."
He coos; I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.

No words are
said the rest of the ride to the hotel.  I can’t decide if that is good or
bad; but it feels so good to be back in Aiden’s arms that I don’t care if he
talks to me right now.   All too soon the ride is over, which means
the time in his arms is over as well.  I toss a fifty at the driver just
in time for Aiden to pull me from the car. “I need a drink.” He blurts, pulling
me through the revolving door.

“I think that’s
the last thing you need tonight, Aiden.” I murmur, looking at my watch, “I
mean, this morning.” Taking a deep breath, I yank my hand from his.  Those
dark brown eyes watching me carefully, trying to gauge my mood.  Aiden
could always read my body; sometimes my mind.  At times we were so in sync
that he could tell me what I was going to do without any words at all.
 The connection between us is intense and terrifying at times, but it
is the most stable thing I have ever known.  I was never afraid of Aiden;
what scared me was losing him after giving him all of me.  Something that
I’ve never fully done with anyone.   

“Why are you
even here, Cam?  I’m a little old for a babysitter.” He bites out,
slapping the elevator button.

“I’m not sure
what you
need
, Aiden, but I can tell you a swift kick to
the balls might do you some good right now.  Stop being such an asshole to
everyone.  What the fuck did anyone ever do to you?”

The anger in my
voice makes him smile.  Just as the doors to the elevator open, Aiden
shoves me inside, pinning me between him and the wall.  With his free hand
he slaps a number for his floor, and then cups my jaw.  A gasp is lodged
in my throat, Aiden smirks down at me knowingly, “Oh you’ve
done
plenty
baby.  It’s time we got back to things that make fuckin’ sense.”

Aiden’s lips
hover just out of my reach.  It takes all of my restraint not to reach
onto my toes in hopes that he will take my mouth.  I want nothing more
than to go back to what we had, but I know neither of us are the people we were
then.  Things are different now and he needs to know that.  

“Aiden, I can’t
go back to what we had before because I’m not
her
anymore.” I pant out
between ragged breaths, making him chuckle.

His finger
strokes over my bottom lip; my tongue darts out, stealing a taste of all it has
missed in these last few months.  Aiden’s eyes flutter closed, and reopen
hooded and full of hunger. “Camaron, that much I do know.” He says surely. “I
also know that I’m not the same man you walked away from.  Another thing I
know is the more I tried to forget you, the more you fuckin’ haunted me.
 You’re my heart, my baseline, and you never fade away.  What the
fuck does that tell you Cam?  I need you.  Any.  Way.  You.
 Come.” He replies, biting out each word in desperation, then slams his
mouth to mine.  

Aiden’s hands
dive into my hair, holding my face to his.  As if I could go anywhere even
if I wanted to.  My knees nearly crumple beneath me, giving Aiden the
perfect chance to wrap my legs around his hips.  Pulling my head back, he
trails kisses down my throat before biting lightly along my shoulder. “I’ve
missed you so much Cam.  You have no idea.” He pants as the doors open.
 

Without sitting
me down, he walks down the hall to what I assume is his suite and slides the
cardkey.  Shoving through the door, he walks down the hall to the smaller
spare bedroom.  “Can’t fuck you on the bed in the master bedroom, Henry
and Hunter made a mess of that room with a
groupie.
”

I barely have
time to nod before we are falling back onto the bed in a tangle of arms and
legs.  Fingers greedily exploring the familiar, while our moans echo off
the walls.  I didn’t come back here with him expecting this.  
My plan had been to settle him in followed by leaving with my dignity still intact.
 Instead, I’m writhing beneath Aiden’s body as his clothes start flying
across the room; both of us desperate to be skin to skin. “Aiden…” I plead,
once he yanks my dress over my head leaving me naked beneath him.  Aiden
nips along my chest, between my aching breasts.  
Please, Aiden, I can’t
wait any longer.

“God, Cam.
 I’ve missed this.  Every single woman I’ve seen since you left me
has been you.  Every time, all I saw was you.” He says, running his tongue
around my navel.

Aiden’s words
are ice water on my libido.  I shove at his shoulders with both hands, my
chest heaving. “No.  Aiden, stop.” I huff, scrambling to the side of the
bed.

His eyes widen
in confusion. “What’s wrong?” He asks, moving up the bed toward me, but I can’t
speak.  He’s been fucking women this whole time and here I thought he was
as unable to function like me.  He obviously didn’t need me that badly
then did he? “Cam, what’s wrong baby?” He asks again, worry etched all over his
face.  

My stomach is
churning, my fists clenched tightly into balls.  Aiden reaches out running
his fingertips along my arm tenderly, but all I can think about is them.
 The other fucking women.  Those random pieces of pussy in every damn
town tempting him, making him just like Hunter.  Just like every other goddamn
man I’ve ever dealt with in my life.  Making me feel unworthy once I start
speaking up for myself, all while they move on to the greener fucking grass.
 Well that settles this shit.  

Before I can
stop to think another thought, I slap Aiden across the face, his jaw dropping
in shock.  Jumping up from the bed, I yank on his t-shirt and snatch up my
dress and shoes. “After everything that you said to me, you just let your dick
try to fuck away all that I supposedly meant to you, huh?” I bite out angrily.
 Throwing my stiletto, it crashes into the nightstand, knocking a lamp to
the floor with a crash. “Yeah, I told you to live your life.  I understand
the limelight you live in, Aiden, I really do.  All the temptation was why
I tried to let you go in Vegas.” Walking toward the door, I swipe at the tear
that escaped.  I don’t want to be so hurt.  I all but told him to tap
groupies and move on didn’t I?  “Maybe, I didn’t think it would hurt so
badly because I never expected to know about it.  Now, it hurts knowing
that you moved on and I couldn’t.  It crushes my fucking heart to know
that I couldn’t get out of bed, or even listen to the radio in fear of hearing
one of your songs.   Here you were, out grabbing beers and random
twat like it’s just another regular Saturday night.” Aiden’s face falls, but I
am in no mood to feel sorry for him now.

“Cam, you don’t
understand.  You left me, I…” He starts to explain, but it only makes me
angrier.  My other shoe barely misses his head, rage coursing through my
veins.

“You.
 Told.  Me.  To.  LEAVE!” I shout.  Walking over, I
get inches from his face, my finger pressing against his chest. “You said you
loved me Aiden.  You wanted me to fight for you.  What the fuck about
me, huh?  Here I am, ready to fight and for what?  You gave up the
moment it got too hard for you.  Just the big, bad Dom who didn’t want a
broken woman.”

“Fuck you, Cam.”
He spits, pushing to his feet, forcing me to take a step back. “You don’t know
shit if that’s what you think.  I’ve given you more than I have given anybody
else, ever.”

I am so angry
right now that my blood is roaring in my ears. “I know that I had my chance to
move on, but I couldn’t take it.” I shout back, shoving him.  Even after
drinking all night, he doesn’t budge.

Aiden just laughs,
“With who?” He asks pointing toward the door, “That fucker?  Shit, Cam,
he’ll never be enough for you.”

“I guess I’ll
never know.” I whisper, turning for the door.

“Why Cam?” He
asks, desperately grabbing at my arms, silently begging me not to leave.
 Aiden turns me so that I’m flush against his body, reminding me that he
is still naked, the only barrier between us is his ratty
SHAFT
t-shirt
covering me. “Answer me, Cam, now.” He says more commandingly this time,
sending a shiver down my spine, dominance oozing out of every pore of his body.

“Because, Aiden,
no one will ever be you.” I choke out before bursting into tears and burying my
face into his bare chest.  Strong arms encircle me, settling us back on
the bed as I continue to cry. “I want to hate you Aiden, but I love you so much
it hurts.  The only person I want to hate more than you is me, for walking
away in the first place.” Pulling the blanket over us, Aiden settles us on a
pillow, so that we are as close as possible.

“Ssh baby. 
I’m so sorry.” He croons, his long fingers running through my hair. “I’m not
letting you go again, no matter what happens.  You’re it for me Cam, all I
want.” He whispers.  Eventually, my sobs slow, and my eyes begin to droop.
 The exhaustion from flying and everything that has happened today is
settling in, but I fight to stay awake.  Desperate to listen to the sound
of his voice, “Even if I don’t deserve you, I’m not losing you again.” I hear
him choke out before kissing my hair; I fall asleep wrapped in Aiden, secretly
hoping he is right this time.

Ladies and
Gentlemen,
The
Shaft Street Boys.

*Aiden*

I feel Cam’s
breath even out, letting me know that she is finally asleep.  I can’t
believe things went the way they did tonight.  After my fight with Luke, I
figured she would load up and go with him back to Vegas.  After kissing
Cam, I lost all control.  There was nothing anyone could have done to stop
me, I want that fucker gone and the few punches I got in were nothing compared
to what I had planned.  I was never a person that just explodes, but
lately I have no patience for stupid people fucking with my life.  The
band, the people on our bus; Cam, that’s what matters.  When Luke
instantly went to her before I could, I saw fucking red.  Again.  The
whole time they talked, I watched like a hawk preparing to make my move if
necessary.  He would not take her from me, not when I am just getting her
back.  Then, Cam not only came with me but tore into me.  She put me
in my place alright.  I lost control.  That’s the only explanation
for what happened.   If she hadn’t stopped me when she did, I have no
doubt I would have plowed through her as usual.  Then when she crawled up
the bed I saw it, her tattoo. 

Camaron’s skin
was flawless and untouched by ink, until now.  That is a helluva tatt for
a first too.  The orange blossoms run nearly the length of her entire
side, with some script I couldn’t read.  Jealousy pulses in my veins at
the thought of that fucker putting his hands on her body, while he spent hours
detailing that piece.  The fact that he touched what is mine, for hours on
end, makes me want to go find him and give him another dose of what I gave him
at the club.  Just so that he will know he will never touch her again.

Shifting the
covers, I pull the shirt up over her hips.  Seeing Cam sleeping in my bed,
wearing my shirt, stirs something primal and possessive in me. If she thinks
I’m letting her walk away again, she’s wrong.  Her breath tickles against
my chest as she breathes, I couldn’t imagine moving her.  This feels too
right.  Having Camaron here with me now, feels like home.  Her ink
comes into view.  Urgently, I want to kiss every inch of it.  I never
took the time to worship Cam as she deserves, but I plan to remedy that as soon
as possible.  For fucking days, if necessary.   My fingers brush
down the words along her side: ‘
For The One
To
Whom I Belong
’
.  The words are a shock to my system.  Did she
get this tattoo for me, or for Luke?  I shake my head, reminding myself
that I know already.  Cam’s words from earlier echo in my head so loud
that I could swear she is speaking them all over again.

“No one will
ever be you”

“I want to hate
you Aiden, but I love you so much it hurts.”

“You gave up on
me the moment it got too hard for you.”

The truth hurts
like a cold, hard, slap to the face.  She’s right.  The minute she
said she loved me, I told her to leave, because she didn’t love herself.
 Only now, I realize that I made her go through all of that pain
alone.  I should have been there for her during it all.  Now, she
can’t trust me.  I fucked another woman; that hurt her worse than I ever
imagined it would.  I could try and explain the emotional detachment I had
with her and even those I tried to have sex with and failed to, but what’s the
use?  She always felt an emotional connection when we were together, from
day one, so did I. 

I have so much
to make up to Camaron before I can ever ask her to take me back.  First,
she needs to know what she’s getting into. Cam deserves to know the shit that I
keep buried; the things I never talk about.  Not even Hunter and I talk
about our life before Henry saved us that night.   Forcing my
thoughts out of my head, I settle against Cam and cover us again with the
blanket.  Brushing a kiss to her lips, I make a promise that I will be the
man she deserves, if it fucking kills me. 

***

“Aiden! 
Oh, Mr. Heavyweight Pussy Puncher.  Wake up, wake up, wherever you are!” I
hear the irritation in his voice, but I ignore him, snuggling deeper into her
warmth.  She’s here with me; I don’t want to come out of this dream. 
Ever.  “Come on, you stupid, impulsive fucker, we don’t have time for you
to beat your meat again.  Get the hell up, jerk a knot in it, and let’s get
to the studio!” Hunter shouts from the hallway.

Groaning, I open
my eyes and meet the most beautiful face I’ve ever laid eyes on.  Her
features soften and she smiles at me sleepily. “Good morning, I think we have
company.” I murmur as Hunter’s singing echoes down the hallway.   My
eyes drift to her mouth, a smile creeping across her face.  All I want to
do is stay here all day and kiss that smile off of her face, among other
things.

Leaning down, I
kiss her lips softly, telling myself that even though I want fast and hard; Cam
deserves slow and cherishing.  My hand cups her jaw so that I can deepen
the kiss.   Tenderly, I stroke my tongue along hers, my other hand
possessively gripping the script along her ribs.  Pushing the shirt up, I
kiss along the black lettering, making Cam tremble. “Do you belong to me, Cam?
 Or have I lost you?” I ask, fear dripping from every word.  I’ve
never been so scared in my life of a simple yes or no answer. 

Leaning up, she
meets my eyes, the seconds feeling like days while I run my fingers along her
skin.   Then she shatters every thought in my head, “Aiden, I could
never belong to anyone else.  It’s only been you.  I just don’t know
if we can ever make it work.”

“I wanna lay you
down in a bed of dildos
.” The singing gets closer, making me tense. “Oh,
look at the sexiness right here.” Hunter says from the door, that next time I
will fucking padlock.  Walking over, he flops onto the enormous bed next
to us, sprawling his legs wide.  I yank the shirt down to cover Cam’s body
from his perverted eyes. “I’ll bet it was hot as hell in here last night,
Duchess.” He says, fanning himself like a drama queen. “Please tell me you
scream baby; Aiden really needs a screamer.  It’s good for his ego.”
Hunter teases, slapping me on the ass.

“Get the fuck
out, Cunter.  I’ll be ready in twenty.” I snap out, trying to reign in my
temper.

Chuckling, he
pats my shoulder, “That’s not even enough time to tie her down.  What the
hell man, you slackin’?”

“Not everything is
about sex, Hunter.” I bite out, glaring at him.

Jumping off of
the bed, he gropes his crotch and thrusts his hips, “It’s always about fuckin’
little brother.  If someone says it’s not; then they’re lying like a
motherfucker and need an orgasm or ten.  I will volunteer as a cock donor
when they start the outpatient procedures, along with my other talents in the
‘provide an O’ area.  It’s always there in the back of your mind, no one
can deny it.  No matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing, Aiden, I’m thinking
about dippin’ my wick into the wax.” He says tossing a wink to Cam.

“One of these
days, that wick is gonna come back mangled, asshole.” She says, blowing him a
kiss with her middle finger. “Now, get the hell out.” 

“I’m like Pooh
to the honey, baby.  Gimmie that sweet stuff.” He sings.  Cam flings
a pillow, hitting Hunter square in the face. “You know, that’s hurtful. 
I’ll just pack up my balls and leave then.  I know when I’m not wanted.”
He huffs, leaving the room.

“Obviously, he
doesn’t.” Cam says with a laugh, climbing out of bed. “I have to go
change.  I’ll meet you guys in the lobby in half an hour.” She rambles,
trying to shimmy into her dress.

Bouncing up off
the bed, I grab her arms, effectively stopping her from running. “I know what
you’re doin’.  You’re not runnin’ from me anymore, baby.  Take a
breath, go change.  We will ride to the studio, together.  After we
handle shit today, you and me…” I say gently brushing my lips over hers, “…are
going to come right back here and talk.  I want answers, plus I’m sure you
have some things to ask me.” She just nods; I kiss her again. “Later.” I
whisper, releasing her and head into the bathroom.

One quick shower
and a change of clothes later, I walk out into the main room of the suite
finding Cam gone and Hunter digging through a fast food bag.  “I can see
how it is goin’ to be now twat-glazer.  I bring you food and what do you
do?  My own brother kicks me out of play time, without even a look at the
goods.” He mumbles around a mouth full of bacon. “I mean, shit, I smacked your
ass.  I’d even pull your hair if you’d grow it out a little.”

“You know it’s
not like that with Cam, Hunter.” Punching his shoulder with one hand, I grab
the burrito on the table with the other. “This burrito better not have any
bacon in it, asshole.”

Hunter rubs his
shoulder, “No bacon for you.  I’d generously share my bitches, even my
booze…” He tosses out, clutching the bag tightly to his chest. “But, I do not
share my bacon.  Even ‘
Starvin’ Fuckin’ Marvin’
would be S.O.L.
This pig is mine.”

Rolling my eyes,
I inhale the burrito in two bites, bouncing the wrapper into the trash with a
flick of my wrist. “Even Kobe would be proud of that move.” I gloat with a huge
grin, “Let’s go piggy boy, we’ve got magic to make.”

“Whatever. 
You’re just excited to ride to the studio with our
manager.
” He teases
with a wink, “I need to have a talk with Daisy later.  It’s only fair to
hire me some pussy too.  Is
‘Tax-deductible-Twat’
the correct legal
term, bro?” He asks, scratching his chin.

My fist meets
his already bruised jaw with a loud crack.  Hunter slams back against the
wall, cracking the dry wall. “Haven’t you already had your ass handed to you
enough in the last week, Cunter?” I growl. “You never talk about Camaron that
way.  She’s.  Spoken.  For.” I bite out angrily, just waiting
for him to say the wrong thing, because I will pound him into the rug without
another thought.

Hunter’s eyes
widen, both hands fly up in surrender. “Alright, I get it.  Shit, let me
go.” He says shakily.

Shoving away, I
pace the room.  Knowing that I don’t want Cam to see me unhinged, I try to
calm down.  Hunter stares at me, not saying a word.  My mind is
racing with worry.  Cam has been down in her room getting ready, with him. 
That fucker is probably talking her into leaving me again.  Instead of me
hurrying to the lobby, or, better yet, her room, I’m up here fighting with my
idiot brother. “Sorry man, let’s just go.” I mumble.

Hunter bends
down, grabbing my sticks off the floor.  He walks over to me slowly;
probably afraid I will go off again. “Listen, I was out of line.  We all
know you love her, Aiden.  No bullshit, I’m glad she’s come back to you
bro.” He says slapping my back. “You were never supposed to be like me; you
were always supposed to be better.” Hunter says, with a sad smile before
opening the door, putting an end to the conversation.  My mind now left
spinning with a million fucking questions exploding through my head.

In the elevator,
he’s guarded, almost shutdown.  Shit, Hunter’s acting like he just got
caught screwing the neighbor’s daughter without a rubber.  But why? 
My whole life, I grew up idolizing my brother.  The carefree way he lived
his life, never worrying about repercussions or structure.  He shoots
straight from his ass and damn the consequences; that made him happy.  Or
so I thought…  Hell, I wanted to be him, tried like hell to do everything
he did, but my need to shelter and control took over.  Why would my cocky,
arrogant brother suddenly have a problem with me taking a few pages from his
book after all he did for us growing up?  Even with all the stupid shit he
says and does, he will always be my hero for protecting me from our father when
we were growing up.  Shit, he was a kid too, but he never batted an
eye. 

“What did you
mean, ‘I was never meant to be like you?’  What’s wrong with that?” I ask,
unable to stand the silence. 

For a minute,
Hunter’s eyes darken sadly before he covers them with sunglasses. “Story for
another time bro.” He says, shrugging me off. “Another goddamn life is more
like it maybe.”

Images of my
father swinging his heavy ass leather belt at Hunter, while I hide in the
closet flash into my mind.  I cried harder with every cracking sound the
belt made. Hunter never screamed, or shed a tear.  Far back as I can
remember, Hunter would never say a word, he stayed silent through the whole
thing.  His eyes always fixed on my father’s boots.
“Where the fuck is
that other little bastard, Hunter?  You can’t take his punishments
forever.  I’ll just have to make them worse then, you arrogant little
shit.”

The elevator
doors open with a ding, like a horse at a derby I bolt out desperate for
her.  My hands are shaking, my eyes searching frantically through the
lobby before landing on her talking to Henry, Daisy, and Gray.  Her face
lighting up as she speaks, her smile is a lighthouse beacon, brightening my
entire world.  I’m sucked in, my feet move robotically until I reach
her.  My heart thumping the beat to her song the entire time, pushing all
the horrible thoughts of my father out of my mind; all I need is her. 

Stopping in
front of Cam, everyone else is forgotten.  My hands slide into her silky
hair, pulling lightly.  Without speaking a word, I bury my face into her
neck breathing deeply.  My anger and worry from earlier fade, my entire
body loosening immediately as I breathe her in.  Cam’s arms encircle me,
wrapping me in. If she comes back to me, my world would be right again.  I
can feel it.  She is the other half of me.  This is just a taste of
what is to come if I have my way.