Fae (20 page)

And even more alone than ever.

I couldn't endure it a moment longer. I had done the obligatory dance. I had even smiled when one of her friends had said that we made a cute couple. I didn't want to let her down tonight in front of the entire high school so I promised myself I'd wait to do so in the morning and would hope she'd understand.

She wouldn't, I knew, but I could always have my hope that being human, she'd suddenly wake up in the morning and not want to be my girlfriend. I could hope that she'd wake up and have a violent distaste for me.

I knew I just had to get through the evening. Jordana was becoming more and more drunk by the moment, and she wouldn't stop. I knew she wasn't feeling well because she stumbled past me and ran up the stairs to her room. I was concerned for a moment, but her friends ran up after her giggling at her plight.

Freedom.

I wanted to be with Caroline.

I stepped outside and found her spinning around and around on Jordana's younger brother's swing. She looked like a child. Her hair was blowing in the wind as she looked up at the star-filled sky. Only she carried a deep look of concern. And suddenly, I could relate. Watching her on the swings spinning and spinning reminded me of my own life, a life that appeared to be spiraling out of control.

I wondered what she was thinking. So I decided I would ask. “Penny for your thoughts?”

She put her foot down on the ground and stopped her spin. She looked over at me in surprise. I waited for her response, but instead she stared at me for a long while.

“Just thinking.”

I moved closer to her, stopped when I stood right next to the swing. I put my hand on the chain and looked down at her, intentionally wanting to give her a disadvantage. I could tell it worked.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked cautiously.

“I wanted to get some fresh air.” And then I told her, “And I wanted to see what you were doing.”

I could tell that my boldness unnerved her. She looked away from me.

“What I was doing?” she replied curiously. “I was actually having a pleasant conversation with Brian Baker.”

“Brian Baker?” I questioned, suddenly annoyed.

“Yes,” she whispered, seemingly unnerved by my proximity.

“You need to be careful,” I replied, inching closer and closer to her.

“I need to be careful? Of what? Brian Baker?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, why?” she demanded.

“Because I don't want him to hurt you.”

“What does it matter to you?”

“Because I care.”

She pushed the swing back, trying to put some space between us.

“Have you been drinking, Devilyn?”

“I don't drink, Caroline.” I took in a deep breath, wanting so very badly to run my fingers through her luxurious hair. “I care very deeply about you, and I don't want anyone to hurt you.”

Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment. Then she stared at me.

“Honestly Devilyn, I don't know why it is you're saying these things, or what you mean. But I do know that you have a girlfriend, and I don't think she would like it very much if she knew that you were out here saying the things you're saying.”

She was gripping the chains of the swing like they were her lifeline, but I wanted to be closer to her, and I didn't care what anyone thought. I grabbed the chains and moved closer until I faced her and slowly leaned in. With the seat behind her, she couldn't escape. She looked down and I knew my proximity made her uncomfortable, uneasy. Her innocence was written all over her face.

But for some reason I didn't want her to be shy when it came to me.

“Look at me.” This time I said the words out loud. In an instant her eyes met mine and I saw it. Her honesty. It was all there for me to read. I couldn't help myself or my reaction. My eyes darkened as my hands moved down the chain and covered hers.

It was a mistake.

I had never felt such an electrical surge course through my body in all of my years. Her skin charged me, rushed through my blood like lightning. I closed my eyes for a moment as I saw flashes of scenes play through my mind. Moments we'd had together and moments that were to come. I could feel my soul sing with pleasure after a lifetime of searching for its other half.

Here it was. Here
she
was.

“What was that?” Caroline whispered as she looked to where my hands covered hers. I knew she had felt it as well.

“What do you mean?” I tried to remain evasive and in control.

“Did you feel that?” Her eyes held a look of wonder. I couldn't lie to her.

“Yes.”

She looked up at me and I watched as she took in a deep, steady breath.

“Devilyn.” She made my name sound like an endearment. I wanted to hear her say it again and again. I was losing control.

“Caroline,” I whispered as my gaze ran possessively over her face.

She didn't answer me. If possible she inched closer and looked up at me in expectation. There was only so much I could take.

I leaned in toward her slowly. Her lips parted as she took in a nervous breath. She knew what was coming. My eyes started to close when we were a breath apart from each other. I held back for a moment and opened my eyes to take it all in. I wanted to savor this moment and remember it forever.

“Caroline. Are you okay?”

I couldn't believe it. I was so engrossed in the moment that I didn't even hear him come up behind us. Caroline immediately rose from the swing and pushed herself out of the chains and away from me. I could tell she was embarrassed.

I turned around to face Brian and saw the anger in his eyes. He was justified in hating me. I came to this school and within one day, I had taken his position on the football team, and I had taken Jordana, and now I was about to take his new love interest. He had every right to hate me, in fact I hated myself even more.

“I'm going to go find Teddy, I think I want to go home,” Caroline mumbled as she moved past Brian and me.

“I'll drive you home,” we both said, simultaneously. My eyes narrowed at Brian. Over my dead body, he'd drive Caroline home. I watched as he looked at Caroline. He was intrigued. I could see it all over his face. I was instantly furious.

“
I'll
drive you home Caroline,” Brian repeated. “I just saw Teddy inside and from the looks of things I doubt he'll want to go home now.”

“You've been drinking, and I won't allow her to get in a car with someone who's been drinking.”

“Allow?” Caroline said sharply. I knew from her tone that she did not like the sound of that. I shrugged my shoulders. She'd have to get used to it. I wasn't going to hide from my own words.

“Yes. Allow.”

My gaze met hers evenly. I could tell that she was actually surprised that I owned up to my words.

“I'll drive you home.”

“I don't need you to drive me anywhere,” she lifted her phone in her hands. “I'll just call my father.”

“Your dad?” Brian asked in displeasure.

“Yes, he should still be up. Thanks for the offer Brian. I'm just going to inside and let Teddy know that I'm going home. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Brian said as we both turned around and watched her walk away.

My eyes immediately glanced back at Brian who was still staring at Caroline with a look of longing.

“Don't even think about it.” The words came out before I could stop them.

“Excuse me?” I knew Brian was not very happy about what I just ordered, but I didn't care.

“You heard me.”

Brian threw his drink into the ground and walked over to me in a menacing way.

“You don't have the right to tell me
who
or what to think about.”

“In her case I do.”

“What's with you Reilly?” he all but sneered. “Isn't one woman enough for you?”

If he only knew the situation I was in, he wouldn't ask such a ludicrous question.

“Caroline is a friend,” I answered trying to remain cognizant of Jordana's feelings. I had used her, and I certainly didn't want to cause her any more pain. “And I'm not going to repeat myself.”

I turned to walk away and was completely caught off guard when Brian grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around.

“Who the hell do you think you are?!” he shouted at me. I chose not to answer and allowed him to get out the words he needed to say and allowed him to feel superior because I knew that ultimately this was far from a fair match.

“You just waltz into town and think you can take my position on the team?!
Take my girl?!
And now take any other girl I am interested in?” He continued on in his tirade, “Don't think I don't know what you are!”

His words caught my attention. I stared at him evenly as he continued on almost frantically.

“I can see you! I see how you are. How strangely you behave,” Brian watched my face and suddenly pushed himself away from me as if I was diseased. “And you're not normal.”

No, I'm not
, I silently agreed.

I was surprised that the first human to actually take note of the subtle differences between the way I carried myself and the human way would be Brian. But then jealousy was a powerful emotion, and Brian was consumed with obsessing about me.

“Well thank you for your astute observation Brian,” I couldn't help the sarcasm. “I'll try not to cry myself to sleep tonight.”

“Screw you, Reilly.” Brian snarled at me as he walked away then came back with a force, “And as for Caroline, she's an adult and she can make her own decisions.”

It was instant. The fury that punched me in the gut and flowed like
magik
lava through my veins. I grabbed Brian by the collar and lifted him high in the air. Before I could throw him, as was my intention, Tatiana put her hand on my shoulder.

“Brother,” she said calmly. “What are you doing?”

Ironic that Tatiana would be the one to bring me out of the fog of fury, but I was grateful. I let go of Brian, and he fell to the ground and scrambled up, partly in fear, partly in awe. I knew he believed I was a freak now more than ever.

“Stay away.”

It was all I said. All I had to say before I turned around and walked away from the house.

I turned back for a moment to see Tatiana reach for Brian's hand and help him up. He was still so shaken up that he could barely move. I had acted impulsively and prayed that no one witnessed our encounter. I knew that Tatiana would clean up my mess, as she had much to lose as well if we were ever detected, and just as I suspected, she reached up and whispered something in Brian's ear, and he left calmly and without uttering another word.

I met Tatiana's gaze evenly.

“Thanks.”

“You're welcome. I haven't seen you lose your temper like that in a long time.” She was almost in awe. I could see her eyes start to light up.

I couldn't answer her. I was filled with shame and regret over the lack of control I had just displayed, but I didn't want to stay and talk to my sister any longer than I had to.

“I'm leaving now. Can I give you a ride?” Tatiana said, watching me carefully.

“No, I don't think Jordana would appreciate it if I left so soon, but I'll walk you out to your car.”

We were quiet as we made our way to her car.

“So is that what love is?” Tatiana asked suddenly.

“What do you mean?” I was taken off guard.

“Feeling that rage and possessiveness for someone. Is that what love feels like?”

I couldn't answer her. She was the last person I wanted to talk to about my feelings. When I silently opened the car door for her, she realized she wasn't getting anything from me, and I silently hoped that she thought my arduous feelings were directed at Jordana.

“I should have guessed you'd keep it all to yourself,” Tatiana said angrily. She tried to slam the door shut, but I stopped her and yanked it back.

“No, sister, that's not what love is. What you saw was hate. Anger. Jealousy. All dark and ugly emotions that I wouldn't wish upon my enemy. Don't ever covet what you just saw.”

Tatiana was taken aback by the passion in my voice. She nodded slowly and shut the door. I watched her drive off. I turned back toward the house and caught a glimpse of Teddy and Caroline walking to his car.

I took in a deep breath, trying to capture every ounce of her, fearing that I would lose her forever. If anyone had looked at me watching her, they would have known. They would have known that she meant something to me. That she was important. That I couldn't live without her. They would have known because it was written all over my face.

She was all consuming. She was beautiful, inside and out. She slowly turned and looked back at me.

And my heart stopped beating.

Please

Be

Mine.

“Destruction, hence like creation is one of Nature's mandates.”
—Marquis de Sade

“The time has come,” Alderon said quietly as he stared out upon his disciples. “Look around you my dark ones, see that we are finally close to achieving our dream. For over a thousand years we have waited for this moment. And it has arrived.”

The members of the Dark Fae Elder court had gathered in the great room of their leader's castle. As all Dark Fae preferred cold colors, Alderon's home was no different. His walls were cool grey stone, made of the same rock found in Stonehenge. The massive table that sat in the middle of the room was granite and circular, similar to that of King Arthur's round table, and the chairs that surrounded the table were intricately carved out of an Elder tree, each one having its own sign, symbol, and meaning. Each chair was placed strategically as though the table was part of an ancient astral chart.

Each member of the Dark Fae stood behind one of the chairs of the round table, encompassing thirteen in all. Their children stood outside the room but could hear Alderon's voice as it carried through the hall. Puck stood behind Alderon waiting to do his bidding.

Though he was not their true King, he was in many ways, their God. For he was the oldest of all the Elders and, more importantly, the one that understood the depths of their black soul. He was also the one that had sired the future King of the Dark Fae. The boy who made up half of the great prophecy.

They all stood in silence and tried to control their joy, but they could not contain their smiles. Alderon had just given them hope that they were on their way to ruling over the great kingdom. At last, the Light would fall.

“We are close,” Alderon said quietly. “Close to a celebration.”

He continued on, as every translucent eye in the room was upon him.

“Very close.”

He walked slowly around the table and made eye contact with each one of the Elders in the room. Once he was finished he stood behind the one empty chair. He reached his hands out, and a black light emerged from his fingertips. He began to draw lines on the table like a spider's web that traced back to each one of the Elders. The light he drew in the table looked like the alignment of the planets in the solar system. He was done with his task within a moment. Each Elder placed their hands above the lit planet that was before them. Their energy radiated into Alderon's, fused into one as they all began to speak without any barriers of fear blocking them.

Alderon closed his eyes and took a deep breath in as he felt all the energy in the room. When he opened his eyes, they were lit with black fire, his power so great, his feet were no longer on the ground but hovered in the air.

“As presiding Elder and in accordance to the laws written in the ancient manuscript, known to the humans as Voynich, known to the Fae as Ma Tua Nan, the dark laws of the crystal code, all Elders must be in agreement as we move forward,” his voice was strong, sure as he spoke. “The time has come for us to claim again what our very own brothers and sisters are trying to take away. For centuries we have waited, have acted within the laws that govern each and every Fae, but we will wait no longer. The Light, as they call themselves, wanted a war. They will want to end the souls of their own kind. Choosing human life over Fae. Can they call themselves true light by wanting to end what they perceived as dark?”

The Elders looked around at one another as the magnitude of Alderon's words touched them to the core. The light from their palms grew stronger as the power in his voice reached their core.

“If they want our destruction, then I say we destroy them first. If it is battle they want, then battle we will give them. They wanted to see us suffer, but they will understand true suffering when we strike down with the power that has flowed in our veins for thousands of years. If they want war, I will rage a battle upon them that will silence them forever.” Alderon raised his hands above the stone until they were at his chest with the energy flowing beneath. The other Elders followed his lead.

“And HE, the one who will not be named, dreams of my destruction, but I won't rest until I see the flicker of light that has consumed his soul blown out forever.”

Alderon turned to an area of the stone wall and pointed. The stones moved as someone began to slowly walk through.

“My brothers and sisters, I present to you, the esteemed member of the Kelpie clan, Patrick, The Seeker.”

A beautiful white stallion moved through the wall as the stones disappeared before the Elders' eyes. The muscles along the body of this Trojan warrior were large and bulging, its legs were strong and beautifully shaped. But the real truth of its character rested in its eyes. Crimson in color, and ominous, clearly representing the blood bath that confronted its many victims.

A few of the Elders drew in deep breaths. Some smiled in anticipation at the mere site of this beautiful, monstrous creature. The others, who were schooled in concealing emotion, contained their expressions as they watched him. They knew that once this animal was released, he would wreak havoc, and it would set in motion a course of events that would never be overturned. For the Seeker would never be able to be contained. The mighty stallion bowed his head before the group of Elders.

“He will destroy the one that stands in our way,” Alderon said with finality.

“Alderon, we must all be in agreement. If we proceed, there is no going back,” Fenodoree spoke out. Her long black hair swirled magically around her face, and she could not hide the look of repulsion she had for the Kelpie.

Alderon was instantly upon her. He was enraged and could not hide it. “You doubt my judgment? After all that I have done for you!” He continued screaming, “When members of the Light Fae banished you for your hasty actions, who took you in? Who protected you?”

“You did,” she replied, but she continued to stare at him evenly, her courage having not fully deserted her.

“But there are laws that even you cannot break.”

Alderon smiled slowly at her.

“We live and perish by the book. And even you know that the book says that you cannot take a human from their world—”

“She is not human!”

“No. But she has human blood,” Fenodoree continued. “There must be a ruling by the court before she can be destroyed. You cannot take her from that world without knowing without a doubt that she has the blood of the Fae. And to realize that fully, she must bleed and we cannot be the cause of that.”

Alderon walked around her and started to clap.

“Thank you so much for that edifying lecture on our laws. I don't know what we'd do without you here to remind us all of what we already know.”

Fenodoree's eyes lit up in anger.

“When you speak of the Kelpie finding and destroying her—”

“Eventually destroying her,” Alderon said as his voice rose. “I know what laws govern our people! I know what will happen if we disregard those laws!”

Fenodoree turned her gaze away from Alderon's wrath.

“I was only warning you.”

Alderon was upon her within a second. He could not contain his rage as he gazed down at her, his hands clenched into little balls at his side.

“I do not need your warnings. I am the law! Do not think to ever question me again. You are here because your age and powers have allowed you acceptance. But I can change that in a moment,” he whispered in her ear as he turned and faced the stallion.

“My friend will certainly find her,” Alderon said with a smile as the horse lowered his head in allegiance.

“You can all trust that she will be drawn to him,” he smiled as he slowly stroked the horse across his head.

“And my dear son won't stand a chance.”

Breathing deep breaths, I kept my pace. I kept going and going, not sure of my direction. I just knew that if I ran toward the trees, I might be out of harm's way. I was too scared to turn around knowing that he might be near and that I might somehow lose my balance and fall. I had to hide somewhere where he wouldn't find me. And now as I fast approached the wooded area, I knew deep down that the large trees seemed like the safest place to go. I was pretty sure that he couldn't locate me there. If only I could outrun him.

I wasn't sure if I could keep up the pace. Running on fast crackling branches wasn't as easy as I thought. The course was treacherous. And I knew that I couldn't fall. If I did, it would be over. My life would be over.

It was, however, beginning to wear me out. The pace was too much for my body to handle.

Keep going. I told myself. Just keep going.

I wasn't sure what he wanted, but from the look in his eyes, it didn't seem good. If I could find a safe place, I would hide there all night and would try and return home at daylight. Maybe then there would be cars and people around. He would never take me around people—that would be too careless. I just had to remember to be quiet and pray that I would be safe.

Dear God, just let me be safe.

I ran around the large tree trunks, using my arms to forge forward as fast as I could. I saw the beautiful tree with the thick branches and knew that I could climb it. Maybe if I climbed my way to the top, he wouldn't see me. I reached up and grabbed the lowest branch and lifted myself up. Following the branches like steps, I kept going and going.

I looked down and realized that I had climbed up high, and as I looked down upon the vast forest, I couldn't see him. I breathed in a sigh of relief. I did it. I outran him. I allowed myself the moment as I caught my breath. I just had to be still and try and find some thick branches to cover me until daylight. If he didn't look up, he would never see me.

I climbed up a few more branches until I found a thick mass and slowly inched my way toward it. Safety. At last.

I looked down once more and kneeled against the thick trunk of the tree, resting my head against its hard surface. I took another deep breath and felt a small flutter of wind move across my face.

Fear instantly overtook me when I realized that his penetrating red eyes were upon me.

He had found me.

The black raven was upon me, and there was nowhere I could hide
.
So I did the only thing that was left to do, I screamed with all my might.

“Caroline!!”

My mother cried out as she opened my bedroom door and sat down next to me on my bed, deeply concerned. “Caroline, wake up!”

My breathing was labored, and I was drenched in sweat. Famous started barking in concern as he looked at my trembling body.

“Caroline, are you okay?” she continued. “You must have had a bad dream.”

I reached out my arms and Famous jumped right into them. I buried my face in his fur and tried to control the frantic beating of my heart.

“Mom, I was so scared.”

“I know sweetheart. We heard your screams all the way down the hall,” my mom said as she wrapped me up in her arms, trying so hard to comfort me. “It's okay now. It was just a bad dream.”

“It was so real,” I said unsure of my surroundings. I couldn't believe that I was actually sitting in my bed. “
He
was so real.”

“Who was?” my mom asked as she smoothed out my hair.

“He was—” I began, “a raven.” I knew how ridiculous it sounded once the words were out of my mouth, but there was no mistaking the menacing look that I saw before I woke up.

“It's over now,” my mom said, rubbing my head. “You're safe. There's no raven here. And if there was, I think Famous would protect you.”

I got the shivers just thinking about my small dog within the raven's grasp. I hugged him closer.

“There's nothing here,” my mom said to me again. “You have nothing to be afraid of.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” I said as I stood outside my balcony staring at the trees.

“I promise that I will protect you,” I whispered again. It was dawn, and the sun was slowly lighting up the trees. It had been a very long night. Once Caroline left, I went for a walk and had returned to the party later in the evening to check on Jordana. After everyone had gone home, I had taken her aside and had a long talk with her about the future of our “relationship.” Sometime after the reality of the situation resonated, she began sobbing uncontrollably for what felt like hours.

I honestly felt horrible about misleading her. It was never right to break someone's heart, but the reality was that I needed her at the time to push Caroline away from me. She kept begging me to give her one more chance, to allow her to show me how compatible we really were. It was painful to watch, and even more painful to experience. After a few hours of the back-and-forth, I decided that the evening wouldn't end if I didn't do something.

Something that required
magik
.

I brought her in my arms and began whispering in her ear. Convincing her, ever so gently, that I wasn't the man for her. That she was destined to be with Brian Baker. That he would make her truly happy. She shook her head in agreement, and in a flash, I was gone. This part of the game was over, and I was happy to be done with it.

I spent the better part of Sunday in bed, not sleeping, but in bed thinking and staring out of the window of my room. I didn't move for hours and hours, just watching as the sun rose, the birds sang their songs, the wind blew about, dusk settled in, then darkness. I don't think I even blinked. I was so deep in thought about my predicament. Here I was, after centuries of living alone, of knowing what was waiting for me, of building up a resistance to it, knowing what would happen if I didn't, and finally succumbing to what every pore in my body warned me to stay away from. I realized how powerless I really was to my destiny. Or to what my soul recognized as its other half.